This particular Saturday evening made me giddy with excitement. It was the first time I was going to properly hangout with my friends– Stephen, Jessica, Amanda, Aliyah, Chijioke and Vincent. I think Alec was coming too. I just hoped Olamide wasn't.

We planned to meet up at a lounge by 6pm to wind off since exams were over. Jessica said I could sleep over in her place since the lounge was pretty far from my place and we were going to stay till it was late. I was more than happy to oblige.

I was almost done preparing by four thirty. I was busy packing a few things I needed when I heard a knock at the door. I wasn't expecting anyone. I wondered if it was Paulo. He didn't stay with us as much as before.

I met the greatest shock of my life when I opened the door. I stared, unable to close my eyes or even do anything other than feel many emotions rush through me so fast that I didn't know which one to express. I wanted to bang the door in her face but at the same time I didn't want to.

She smiled at me and asked, "Can I come in?"

Hell no! But I didn't say that. I just  kept staring at my mother wondering what on earth she was doing here.

"I'd just come in." She came in without my permission and proceeded to look around. "Nothing much has changed."

I couldn't get over my shock but I had to force myself to act normal. She had to believe I was not bothered by her presence. I closed the door and turned around to stare at the woman who was glancing around the room. She looked well taken care of. Damn, she looked to good to be in this space. Her skin was glowing and her weave was no doubt human hair.

"W-what are you doing here?" My voice sounded so small and hell, I stuttered.

"I came to visit."

Rage coursed through me as she said that. "You can't just come to visit."

She looked at me, amusement written clearly on her face. This woman had audacity. I scolded myself for responding like I did. She shouldn't rile me up, I had to save all positive energy I could for the hangout.

"Naomi?" I looked at Dinma. I was so concentrated on my mother that I did not realize when she came out of her space behind the curtains Paulo had put the other time. She was looking at her sister and I knew she had been referring to her.

I know Dinma and I didn't really see eye to eye but she betrayed me by pulling my mother into a hug. They stayed in an embrace I didn't know both of them where capable of for a while and I stayed there staring at them not knowing how to feel.

I was angry and scared and just totally riddled with uncertainty. I was so angry that she could disappear from my life one moment and come back years later acting like nothing happened. But I was scared that somehow I missed her and I was going to allow her back into my life easily. It felt like I was relieved that she was back. I didn't want to feel like this. I wanted to burn with hate and anger and I didn't care if it would consume me. I wanted to feel anything that was not this subtle longing for a life with my mother in it.

I don't know how long I stood there trapped in my head, trying to understand my feelings. When I came back to reality, the sisters were staring at me.

"Go away," I said. I needed her to because I didn't understand my feelings anymore. I thought I had always hated her, then why was I feeling like this?

I couldn't read what her face said. "Naomi–"

I scoffed. "Don't call me that. My name is Nairobi."

"As in the city Nairobi?" She asked voice laced with amusement. I felt so angry that she had the guys to laugh. Who was she to judge when she didn't think it important to name me?

Nevertheless, I managed to swallow my anger and continued preparing to leave. Now, I wish I had left earlier.

"Naomi, make I just step out buy one or two, make you take hold body," Dinma said.

Sirens rang in my head. She was planning to leave me here with this woman. Even though my mother objected, Dinma still insisted and soon she was heading towards the door.

"Make I go!" I blurted out without thinking twice. I didn't want to be alone with her.

Dinma paused on her tracks and looked at me. "I think say you dey comot?"

I guess staying back and preparing so that I could leave this toxic atmosphere as soon as possible was better than wasting precious time trying to avoid being alone with my mother.

"Don't worry." Dinma rolled her eyes at me before heading out.

"Is it a date?" My mother asked. "Are you going to see a boy?"

I laughed bitterly in my heart. She was still acting like she didn't have anything to be sorry for. It's not even like her apology was going to change anything.

"Silent treatment huh?" She asked as came over to where I was. She held my face and turned it to face her. Her action made me freeze for a moment before I clenched my jaw. I was so tempted to rip her hand away from my face but that I decided not to. I couldn't let her know her presence was suffocating and disturbing.

"I wish you looked a lot like me than your father," she said studying my face. I studied hers too. Apart from skin color and lip shape, we really didn't have anything in common.

"Nah. I'm glad I don't look like you. So I don't have to look in the mirror everyday and remember that the only parent I ever knew and shared resemblance with abandoned me."

She gave me a half smile. "So you're angry at me but not your father?"

"I lived in your body for nine months. The least you could have done was make me feel less like an abomination. But you went and did just that."

Her smile disappeared. She took her hand away from my face and I could breathe properly again. "I am back."

I am back, that was all it took to push the rage that had been brimming inside to the surface.

"Go away! Go back to wherever the hell you're coming from. I don't want you!"

"I don't want you either!"

My world stopped for a moment. Her words drove a knife through my heart. A lump formed in my throat and tears pricked my eyes but I did my best to maintain the mask of rage I had on.

"I am just here to do what your stupid father couldn't do. Take responsibility."

She took some steps backwards, shaking her head.

"You just had to look exactly like him. I hate it. I hate that I had to look at you every damned day and remember how foolish I had been. Seeing you always made me remember your father and how he abandoned me after causing me to get disowned by my parent. I hate him so so much! All he had to do was take responsibility but he couldn't. I loathe that man and seeing your face everyday. . . even now, I can't help feeling that same resentment towards you. I can't love you."

For a swift moment I looked down at my chest to know she had driven a dagger to my heart but there was nothing. What was this overwhelming pain in my chest?

I've always known she never wanted me. And I didn't want her either so why on earth did I feel like curling in a corner and crying? Why was it hurting this much? I wanted to understand why on earth her words had such tremendous effect on me?

I had to leave fast before I lost control of my emotions.

"That's good to know," I managed to say, my voice steely like I wasn't holding back a breakdown. In any other circumstance, I would have given myself a mental pat on the back. I grabbed my bag quickly and turned just as the tears began to stream out.

I fumbled with the door and after moments of trying was able to get it to open.

I rushed out only to bump into Vincent who was standing right outside, hand raised like he wanted to knock. Once again, the universe had proven that it had something against me.

"Hey. . .Ro? What's up—"

I breezed past him and hurried out of the building. No. No. No. This could not be happening. How was Vincent here? And why now?

Tears blurred my vision as I hurried away from the house. I couldn't let Vincent see me like this. Vincent must not see me like this. He would know everything that was wrong with my life. How was I to explain that my mother just admitted that she hated me so much that she had to abandon me?

I wasn't fast enough because soon Vincent caught up with me. He pulled me to a stop by taking my hand then he turned me around. I stared at Vincent's worried face with a wobbly lip and stubborn tears rolling down my cheeks. I hated the fact that I could not pull away. Deep down, deep deep down, I was glad I had someone here with me.

"Ro, what's the matter?" His voice was gentle.

The little control I had over my emotions dissolved and I began to wail loudly. Tears rolled out in torrents and my heartbroken cry rang out. I didn't care about who was watching me anymore.

Vincent froze for a moment before he started consoling me. He patted my back gently without uttering a word then slowly and unsurely, like he was testing waters, he pulled me to his chest. Soon I was inhaling his sweet perfume while his hand kept patting my back.

"It's okay," he whispered over and over again.

"It's not. How can she just come back and make me feel like this?" I cried against his chest.

Vincent didn't respond, he just kept patting my back. I don't know how long we stood there hugging.

"What's the time?" I asked Vincent when I pulled away.

"Few minutes past five."

I sniffed and wiped my eyes with the heel of my palm. "I don't feel like going for the hangout anymore." I looked at Vincent, curiosity gnawing at me but I was in no mood to question him about his presence. I looked at the direction we had come from. "I don't feel like going home either. I can't go back home."

I looked to the ground. "But if I go for the hangout I might just ruin it for everyone." That woman just had to come and suck up the positive energy I had been saving for our hangout.

"How about you come to my place?"

My eyes quickly went up to Vincent's face. I stared at him, surprised at his suggestion.

"Constance is around, well at a neighbor's place, and my dad travelled. You're free to come over," he offered.

I looked down again, running the thought over in my head. "I don't really know about that. Does it mean you'd ditch the hangout too?"

"Yeah. I can't have a guest and not be around. And I really don't mind, you're. . .a friend in need. I owe you this one. We can cook up something to tell the others."

I bit my lip as wheels turned in my head. I had to accept his offer. I wouldn't have to go home and I wouldn't have to ruin my friends' fun.

I looked at Vincent once again. "Vince, I'm sorry I can't say no."

He offered a small smile. "I didn't want you to say no, Ro."