NO REUNION

"Hey!"

I looked up to see Amanda and Aliyah standing before me. They went ahead to sit close to me under one of the big trees in the garden. Amanda removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes. I still wasn't used to her without her glasses.

"You're scarce these days," Aliyah said, a bit of worry lacing her voice. It's been long I spoke to them and ironically we were in the same class. My people-dodging ability was top shelf.

"Exams," I stated curtly and faced my book once again. Exams had started and had been going well and unluckily we have all been drifting farther and farther away. I don't think there was going to be any reunion for us.

"Is there anything we did wrong?" Amanda asked solemnly.

I looked at them and shook my head. "No really. I just need a break."

"Break? For a friendship that has not even gone anywhere?" Amanda asked again, befuddled.

I slapped my book close and groaned lightly. "That's the thing! This friendship would not work. At all."

"What did Jessica do?"

I turned to Aliyah. Sweat shimmered on her dark forehead. "Why do you think she did something?"

"I'm sure I did nothing to you neither did Amanda, you just confirmed that. After that Saturday, I've not seen you and Jessica talk. Jessica would not even agree to talk to you. And you, you avoid Jessica and all of us inclusive, like a plague. So what's up? Spill."

"Well yes. It's Jessica," I confirmed. I sighed sadly. "She just started acting cold to me that Saturday and I decided to take the hint."

"Which hint Nairobi? Know that Jessica can act stupid sometimes. You should have tried asking her what's up. That's what a good friend who values a friendship would do," Amanda said a deep frown marring her features.

Was I a good friend? I had never considered myself good.

Did I value the friendship? Yes. Yes. Yes.

But my stupid ego was in the way.

"I couldn't."

Amanda rolled her eyes and blew out a frustrated sigh. "I don't understand you Naya. Sometimes I like your ego other times it's irks me. To the core."

I frowned. The topic here was supposed to be Jessica and not me. Besides without my so called ego what am I? Who would I be?

It would be definitely something on the line of pathetic.

And I didn't want to be that so my ego stayed.

"Friends don't take breaks. And you just don't take a break because of the other person suddenly goes silent on you. You should have talked to Jessica-"

"Or even us." Aliyah interrupted. "You should have asked questions. You just ghosted. Not cool."

"Yeah. Nobody likes ghosts, Naya."

So what was I supposed to say now? I'm sorry? But the break was my choice and it was for my own good, I shouldn't be sorry for that. I shouldn't be sorry that I took a break to think this whole friendship thing through because since the beginning of the rift, it seemed like each one of them was painfully taking a piece my heart along with them and even if we were to reconcile, there would be more fights and how would I cope with these fights? I couldn't cope with them.

I looked back at the desperate faces of my. . .friends. They wanted this thing to work. They valued what we were building. I valued it too, so why was it so hard to try embracing it again?

GET OUT OF YOUR FALSE COMFORT ZONE. IT'S NOT HELPING YOU AT ALL!

Richard's voice yelled in my head. I recalled everything from our last talk. His advice, scolds. . .annoyed and frustrated sighs and his soothing words.

Do what I beg of you and everything would go well. Trust me.

I've trusted Richard ever since I got to know him. Why shouldn't I trust him now?
Amanda and Aliyah, they came to me. They probably cared. Chijioke inclusive. I expected them never to talk to me because I wasn't talking to them either but they burst my ugly bubble.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I'm not used to this whole group friendship stuff and friendship as a whole," I confessed. "Forgive my. . .whatever you wish to call it."

"Ya allah, she apologized," Aliyah blinked with unbelief evident on her face. Haven't I apologized before? I had to wonder.

"Omo, I'm also shocked. So wait this means-" Amanda clapped her hands in excitement. "We're getting out little group back together!"

Aliyah looked back at Amanda with the same excitement in her light brown eyes forcing me to smile.

So they missed me?

I don't think I had never felt so fulfilled and grateful to myself for apologizing.

"Let's go and talk to Jessica," Aliyah suggested.

My face fell.

I scoffed at my dumbness. How could I forget that our little group included Jessica and if we were getting together we had to talk to Jessica.

Aliyah and Amanda stood up together making me look up at them. Why couldn't Jessica come to us? Why should we go to her?

"I'm busy. I'm having visual arts examination after this break."

"Nairobi please just do this. I, Amanda and Jessica have not been close before you actually came. And I seriously enjoy the feeling of having  a close circle of girl friends so please let's make this work," Aliyah begged me.

"We can hang out and when Jessica notices she would want to reconcile," I shrugged.

"No," Amanda shook her head. "It will make things worse. I know Jessica. She has an ego or as she likes to call it 'dignity' the size of Jupiter which she hides under all her sweetness and sugary smiles. Besides your idea is petty. We're no longer kids madam."

I couldn't ignore the pleading look in Aliyah's eyes so I mumbled under my breath what may have sounded like incoherent nonsense to them and agreed to go and talk to Jessica. Besides, I really wanted, no strike that, needed to know what I did to Jessica to make her act so foreign to me. She didn't like Vincent so there was no way on earth that she was having a beef with me for the same reason as Stephen. At a point in wondering where it all went wrong, I had a crazy theory that I may have been sucked into some kind of opposite universe (An idea I got from Richard when he wouldn't stop blabbing about this SciFi TV show he was obsessed with).

We met Jessica in the cafeteria. She was alone on a table, reading a bookk also, while sipping from a juice box.

"Boss lady," Amanda greeted picking a ball of steaming puff puff from her foiled disposable plate filled with small chops.

"Don't do that again. I don't like sharing my food," Jessica whined. When she looked up and saw me, she looked away immediately and tossed the fried ball into her mouth.

"Is this a meeting of some sort?" Jessica asked looking between Aliyah and Amanda.

"Yes it is," Amanda said intertwining her fingers in front of her on the table.

"So her ego didn't let had come to me directly?"

I ignored Jessica's jab.

"Jessie, what did Nairobi do?" Aliyah asked slowly, like a psychotherapist talking to a patient.

"Yes I need to know," I sassed. Jessica gave me a look I couldn't comprehend. I folded my hands across my chest.

"She didn't do anything. I was just blinded by my stupid emotions as usual," Jessica professed stunning me and maybe the other duo. This was not what I was expecting.

What was I even expecting?

"Nairobi, I'm really sorry for being a jerk and I would have apologized earlier, the thing was that you were avoiding me-us and I-my dignity. . .Just know that I'm truly sorry."

The whole thing took me off guard, totally, honestly, brutally – every adverb or adjective you could think of.

She apologized?

Just like that? It wasn't supposed go this well. Anyone would agree.

Right?

"So we're back together?" Aliyah smiled looking at me. They all looked at me.

Oh hell. . .

". . .No."

"What?!"

"Why were you mad at me? Or better yet, why were you emotional or whatever?" I asked Jessica. "I need to know. I can't be made to feel terrible and not know why I was."

Wow. I admitted it openly. Jessica's actions made me feel terrible.

Guilt crossed Jessica's features. "Let's just not talk about it."

"I choose to know Jessica."

"Promise you won't storm off," Jessica said biting her lower lips.

I wouldn't like the outcome but I was now more interested in knowing why Jessica acted the way she did. I narrowed my eyes at her. "I can't promise you that."

"Nairobi for goodness sake just let it be haba!" Amanda growled.

"No-"

"I couldn't contain my jealousy when I saw how close you and Stephen were at the party. I noticed the way he looked at you and how he always tried to be near you all the time and have close body contact with you. It angered me terribly-"

"Wait a damned minute," I tried to process the whole blaggerdesh Jessica spilled. "You got mad at me because of a boy?" Even Aliyah and Amanda seemed surprised. What were we even expecting?

When Jessica said nothing but looked down I continued. "You ended this friend. . ." I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. ". . .because of a boy who you weren't dating, I wasn't dating, who now hates me?!"

"Nairobi chill!"

"Aliyah don't tell me chill because I can't. What nonsense! Here I was feeling bad, guilty and every thing terrible because Jessica wouldn't talk to me. Now I'm figuring out that it's because I was just having an innocent time with Stephen. The same guy she so clearly stated she wasn't into anymore sef. See fuck up!" I stood abruptly from my seat glaring daggers at Jessica who looked like she wanted to cry.

"This is me officially taking a break from this friendship!" I didn't care if we attracted attention or if I was overreacting, I didn't want to be friends with a girl who would intentionally hate me because of a boy.

It was all time low and pathetic.

Haq! No reunion for us after all.

Vote. Comment and Shaareee.

Pleeeaaaassseee.

Bye!