Too Smart

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. After lunchtime, she'd finally had enough. "What is your problem?" she asked.  

"I'm too smart for the first-grade," he replied, matter-of-factly. "My sister is in third-grade and I'm smarter then she is. I think I should in the third-grade too."

The teacher took the boy to the Principal office. While the boy was waiting in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told her that he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions, he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.

The boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him. He agreed to take the test.

The principal started with questions he felt a third-grade student should know. "What is three times three?"  

"Nine."

"What is six times six?"  

"Thirty-six."

And so it went with every question. The Principal conceded. "I think the boy can go to the third-grade."

The teacher said she had some of her own questions to ask. The Principal and the boy agreed.

"What is it that a cow has four of and I have only two?" she asked.  

The boy thought for a moment. "Legs."

"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"  

"Pockets," he answered quickly.

"What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains a whitish liquid?  

Again, the boy thought for a moment. "Coconut."

"What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"  

The Principal's eyes opened wide with this question. 

The boy smiled, he knew this one. "Bubblegum."

"What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?  

The Principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop him, the Boy answered, "Shake hands."

"Now I will ask some 'Who am I?' sort of questions. Is that okay?" the eacher asked.  

The boy nodded.

"You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?"  

"A tent," he said.

"I am a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a Quiver. What am I?"

 The boy shrugged. "An arrow."

"What word starts with an F and ends in K that means lot of heat and excitement?"

"Fire truck."

"What word starts with an F and ends in k and if you don't get it you have to use your hand?" 

"A fork."

The teacher was getting desperate by this point. "This is my last question. What is it that all men have one. It is longer for some men then for others. The pope doesn't use his. Normally a man gives it to his wife after they're married?"  

"Surname."

The Principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this boy to the University. I got the last few questions wrong myself!"