Shawnie's POV

A few months went by and things were actually pretty smooth. I took the bar exam and passed of course and I got a new job at a law firm. No it was not the job Marcel was talking about, although he tried to get me to go there anyway. This was something I did on my own. They had an opening for an entry level lawyer. I applied for the job and within two weeks, I was employed, and starting my career. I was so excited.

I couldn't wait until I was able to purchase a new home. I started looking for one almost immediately after I got hired. I was so ready to move and start my new life. Being here without my mom is so depressing though. It's very hard for me to walk past her bedroom and know she's not there. I've kept her door closed but being here without her has really taken a toll on me. I needed to get ASAP.

I was only waiting to purchase a house because I wanted to have a steady income and obviously be able to pay my bills and mortgage. I just couldn't believe I was a homeowner and I didn't need help to do it. I did it all on my own. Marcel hated that I bought a house. He thought our relationship was going backwards because he felt I should've moved in with him. I understood where he was coming from but I did what I felt was right. I wasn't comfortable moving in with him yet. We still had a lot to fix.

I still hadn't spoken to Christian. He told me
to reach out and put his number in my phone. He saved it under his mom's name, but after everything that had happened between us, it was just a little bit embarrassing and I didn't want to cause any more unnecessary issues between us. I deleted it. I didn't want to interrupt his life more than I already had. I was sure he had moved on anyway, so I just left it at what it was. Nothing. I thought about him everyday though.

I have still been attending therapy faithfully. I go every other week and it's going pretty well. We have started getting into more deeper conversations and it seems like she's very understanding of my situation and the things I've gone through. We've briefly spoken about my mom and my childhood but we haven't fully dove into it yet. I know it's been a couple of months but I still feel like we're getting to know each other. I believe she's just trying to make sure I'm comfortable enough to open up to her. But overall it's cool.

The last few months have actually been very nice. Marcel and I decided to take things slowly and things between us were great. Of course we had a couple of ups and downs but it wasn't anything too serious. We had to talk about what happened between his ex-wife and I. I told him everything. Of course he said she was lying but I knew the truth. I honestly believed Paige, and that's why I always kept a wall up when it came to Marcel. But I have to be honest with myself, I loved Marcel and I just kept hoping things would get better between us and I wanted to see us overcome all of our obstacles. I don't see anything wrong with wanting your relationship to work. I wanted us to work, and things were working right now. So good that he wanted us to take a little weekend trip up to Lake Geneva.

It was supposed to be just a weekend getaway. We both were working like crazy. I was at my firm and still getting my new home situated, decorating and everything. He had just got back in town from Miami for business. We wanted some down time to just relax and he planned the little trip. He owned a cabin on the lake, so we thought we could just shoot up there and chill out. He planned massages, and dinners for the whole weekend. It was going to be great, so I thought.

The weekend started off perfectly. He told the office he wasn't going to be available for phone calls or anything, then he turned his phone off. That was surprising to me because he never does that. It made me feel like things were changing for us. He always has his phone on and he's always taking care of business, even when he isn't supposed to. The shit pisses me off sometimes but I thought this was something he was doing to better our relationship.

We drove the hour and a half up to Wisconsin Friday after work, and we got settled into our cabin. We changed and went out to dinner at a restaurant that I had never been to, but he said it was pretty good. After we ate, we came back home to the cabin, opened a bottle of wine, cuddled up on the sofa and watched TV. We ended up messing around a little bit, then we went to bed.

The next day, we woke up and had breakfast. We went to the spa and had massages, facials, we both got our nails and feet done and I got my hair done. The spa has always been our thing and we actually took it quite seriously. I thought it was funny. Marcel said he needed to relax and unplug from everything. I agreed, I needed that too.

We went shopping for a few hours, had a quick lunch, then went back home. Mercedes called and I talked to her for a while. She was looking for me and she was upset that I just left town without telling her. She made me send her my location so if anything happened she went to exactly where I was. She is definitely taking the role of my mother. Actually, my mother barely even asked me where I was. Mercedes is just nosy, and she doesn't like Marcel so she always thinks he's going to do something to me. I constantly tell her things have been good with her so she doesn't have to worry but she still does anyway. I can't do anything about that. She loves me and she's always going to look out for me. I understand.

That night we went to a different restaurant. This one was very fancy. Marcel was acting so suspicious and it was making me nervous. I didn't know if I was in trouble or nervous that things were actually going right. I started to feel like things were too good to be true and maybe I had done something and he was upset.

We had dinner and dessert. I should've known something was up because he never orders dessert. He's just not a dessert eater, and neither am I. I found it strange he ordered something called a chocolate orb. Never heard of it in my life and I didn't see it on the menu. Not that I was looking.

The waiter placed the chocolate ball looking thing in front of me on the table and my heart stopped.

I looked up at Marcel and he was smiling from across the table. I looked back at the plate. It was a nice gesture but this is too much, and way too soon.

"Marcel?" I say in disbelief.

"Yes?" He smiles harder.

"Are you serious?" I asked

"Yes. Answer the question, baby."

"Marriage? I'm not ready for that." I said, nervously. The waiter just walked away.

"Are you telling me no?" He asked, shocked.

I knew he was pissed, but I refuse to tell this man I will marry him, even if I don't mean it. That's worse than me telling him no.

"Marcel, we have to talk about this. You can't just spring this up on me." I said

"That's how it's supposed to work. It's a surprise proposal." He said

"But do you really feel we're at the point of marriage?" I asked. I'm confused as to why he would think that's where we are.

"Fuck it." Snatched the ring out of the dessert dish, crushing the orb at the same time and walked off from the table.

"Where are you going?" I asked but he didn't respond.

I called the waiter over and asked for the check. He didn't even bother to pay for dinner. He's such an asshole.

I paid the $237 bill and walked out of the restaurant. I thought he would be sitting in the car waiting for me, but silly me. Why would I think someone like Marcel would be that nice? He left me. His car was nowhere to be found. I should've known something like this would happen.

Two and a half years later, he proposed, then left me stranded at the restaurant because he didn't like the way the conversation was going. How mature. But he should've known not to ask. We haven't had a great relationship. This shit has been stressful as fuck. Why would he think I would say yes to him? I won't even move in with him. Hell, I bought my own house. He's a bit delusional.

I called him but he didn't answer. Whatever. I called an Uber and it took me back to the cabin.

When I walked in, he was sitting on the sofa. He was still. His eyes showed no emotion. He was scary and I didn't even want to say anything to him. I walked past him and his eyes fell on me.

"Sit down." He said still stationed on the sofa.

"I think I'm just going to pack my things and leave. After that whole thing at the restaurant, I think it's best we just spend a little time apart and come back and talk. I know the situation was a little embarrassing for you and I was blindsided by everything so we both are kind of feeling a certain way about the whole thing. I just think it's best that we do that. We can talk later about it." I said

"I don't want that." He said

"Well how do you suggest we handle this? I don't want to talk right now. I just want to be alone with my thoughts and I need to process everything."

He stood up, "I said sit down."

I didn't want things to escalate so I just took a seat in the nearest chair and made sure that I was fully alert to whatever could happen in the next few seconds.

"Okay. I'm sitting." I said, trying to keep things calm.

"You embarrassed me in front of everyone who was in the restaurant." He said, walking over to me.

"Everyone wasn't even looking at us." I blurted out. I didn't mean for my words to come out as quickly as they did but it was the truth. Everyone wasn't even looking at us. This isn't really that big of a deal.

"I spent a lot of money on this ring." He pulled it out of his pocket. "We've been through a lot together and I thought that this was something that you wanted. I officially divorced my ex-wife. I have gotten my two baby mamas in order. We've come a long way in our relationship and I felt that this was the next step that needed to be taken."

"Marcel, it's absolutely fine that you feel that this is the next step that needs to be taken but, we aren't there yet. We just got back together recently and there was a lot of shit that happened over the last 2 1/2 years that we have been together."

"I know, but—."

"There's no but. I told my cousin what happened between both of us and she got someone to beat your ass. Your face was broken, Marcel. In your head, do you really feel that a couple of months after that it's the right step to propose to me? Seriously. Really think about that."

I was really trying to get him to understand what the reality of the situation was because it was 100% clear that he was living in whatever reality he was living in in his head and it just wasn't making sense. I had to explain to him what was actually happening down here in the real world.

"I feel like that's what I wanna do." He said. I thought there was a little bit of attitude behind that comment.

"Okay, Marcel. If that's how you feel, that's fine. But I'm not marrying you. I'm not marrying you anytime soon either. So I'm sorry that you spent so much money on that ring but I apologize, I don't want that."

He opens the ring box and takes the ring out of it. He throws the box on the sofa then he holds his hand out to me.

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