Shawnie's POV

On the weekends, when I was working at the restaurant he would come in on Saturday and Sunday and we would have lunch together and during the week he would pick me up from school on his lunch, and we would spend a little time together before I went to my internship.

I was starting my position with his company the following week and needless to say, I was a little nervous. Marcel and I spent a lot of time together but this was definitely going to open me up to seeing him a lot more. We weren't officially together but you might as well say we were together. It was actually nice to have someone who calls me and text me because they wanna know how I'm doing or simply what I was doing.

******

I was at home trying to get in contact with Christian because I want him to come over so we can at least attempt to take the first pregnancy test together. It had only been a few of weeks since I lost my virginity to him and I knew it was coming up on that time to where I would be able to take a pregnancy test and get some type of results.

I called him twice and he didn't answer, so I texted him that I want him to come over so I could take the test so he could be here with me and then I set my phone down. I haven't really talked to him much in the last few weeks and that somewhat bothered me. I know it's not like we talk all day, every day but it still bothered me.  That was going to be my new reality, not having him in my life to talk to.

I haven't had sex since my experience with Christian. The experience overall was great and I was happy I made the decision to do it with him, I had absolutely no regrets when it came to that. I didn't even have regrets when it came to me possibly being pregnant with his baby. I should've had regrets because Marcel and I were still going strong and if I did end up pregnant that would probably put a stop to the steps we were taking to build a relationship.

I heard my phone ding next to me and I quickly picked it up. It was Christian responding to my text message.

Christian: I think you should just take the test because I don't think you're pregnant. I'll call you in a minute.

I was a little confused and a little worried because for some reason it felt off. So I sat there and waited for him to call me back. About five minutes went by before my phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered

"Hey..." he said, sounding like he was exhausted.

"What's wrong?"

"So like I was saying I don't think you're pregnant because there's a possibility that I can't get anyone pregnant... at least not right now."

"What's going on?"

"I just found out I have Celiac disease. It's not anything that's too serious. Pretty much have to go on a gluten-free diet because apparently that shit fucks up my insides or something, I don't know." He sighed

"You're a doctor, you need to know about this. I know you do, you just don't wanna talk about it. That's fine. And I know you, you sound like you're going through it, and I know you're going to be obsessing over it until you get all the information that you can."

"You're right. I just feel like it's obstacle after obstacle on this journey that I'm taking and it's getting harder and harder as I go along. If I'm being honest, I kind of wanted you to be pregnant because then you would stay with me, but I also know that it will make things a lot harder with school and your career.... Both of our careers. And I'm sure you feel the same way, so just take the test and let's stop living and suspense and confusion. It's a little early but take it and see what he says. If it's negative, take another one in about a week."

"Okay... I can do that." I feel so bad because he sounds so down and it's not a life-threatening disease but Christian is just so healthy and he's always been a healthy athlete all of his life so I can understand the toll that this is taking on his mind. "Christian if you need anything can you please let me know?"

"Yeah."

"Have you told your mom? What did she say?"

"I haven't told her anything yet because I literally just found out. I'm still trying to process and get all the information that I can. Speaking of that, how was your mom? I haven't seen her lately." He asked

"She's good. She's been taking her medication and from my understanding, everything is good. She hasn't told me anything alarming, so I guess that's a good sign." I explained.

"Alright, cool. If you need me to come over there I will but I'm not gonna be much of good company right now."

"No, it's okay. Take care of what you need to take care of over there. I got this over here. I will keep you posted."

"Okay, Mami." With that said we ended the call.

I laughed. Now Mami, sounded like mommy to me.

I instantly got on Google to find out exactly what Celiac disease was. Believe it or not it's a very common disease. It can be treated, but not cured. It also affects men's sperm count. So now I understand why he thinks I'm not pregnant.

I don't waste another minute, I just get up going to the bathroom and take the test. Of course the test came out negative but it's also still a little early to detect the pregnancy. I threw everything away and called my mom.

"Hey mommy!" I said happily. I haven't heard her voice for a few days.

"Hey, sweet girl!! How are you?" She asked

"I'm okay. I just got off the phone with Christian."

"How is he? I haven't talked to him in a couple of weeks." She said, sounding somewhat concerned.

"He's okay, but he just found out that he's having some medical issues. I am a little bit worried about him because I know how he obsesses over things. I wanted you to call his mom and give her a heads up just in case he doesn't tell her." I explained

"What's going on?"

"It's not anything too serious, but I just wanted you to let her know because I believe it's a huge possibility that he's not gonna say anything to her. He tells his mom simple things, like he tripped up the stairs, or he cut his finger. He literally tells her everything and he told me he hadn't told her yet and it had been a few days, so I'm a little worried about him."

"Okay, yeah, I'll call her as soon as we get off the phone. How are you two doing?" She asked, switching the subject back to me.

"Um, about that."

"Uh-oh!" She said sarcastically but I knew she was joking.

"Christian and I have kind of decided to not move forward with our relationship. Well it was kind of my decision but in a way it's mutual." I tried to explain.

"Really? Why?" She asked

"I...met someone."

"Who?"

"Honestly, I don't wanna talk about him because I'm not sure where things are right now, but I will tell you, I like him a lot and we've been spending some time together. When, or if it becomes serious, I will let you know, and you know you're going to meet him so you don't have to worry." I said

"And Christian is okay with this? I'm only asking because I know how into you he is. That boy has loved you since he laid eyes on you summer going into you guys freshman year of college."

"I know mommy, but things are just stagnant between both of us and he's not willing to bend for me, literally at all. I'm trying to make a couple of sacrifices to try to make things better between us but he's not giving me anything." I spilled. It's not like I've been able to have an in-depth conversation about this with anyone yet.

"But you were just with him."

"Yeah, I know. The other day we were together and honestly that was the last time I saw him. We had a long talk and he's just not willing to work with me when it comes to spending more time together. I understand what he's saying completely and I understand that we had plans and that plan was to graduate first, but as things progress, I'm realizing things that I need and he's not willing to give them to me."

"I understand. I thought you two were crazy for being so hard on yourselves when it came to school and your relationship. I know you guys struggled with being a couple and that's why you broke up. I knew it would come to this eventually, especially on your end. Being a woman, you just want affection and your man's attention sometimes and he has tunnel vision when it comes to a lot of things. I definitely see that in Christian. But I also know that he loves you and I don't think he wants this, but he's giving you what you want. Both of you are very serious when it comes to your career paths and even if you guys make it through this hump, you would probably still run into this issue. Better now, then later. Are you guys going to remain friends?" She asked

"Of course. Christian is my best friend. That's why we had a conversation about it and he expressed how he felt and so did I. We are not feeling the same way about this but like you said, he knows the decision he's making."

"Well, I hope this is the best move for you two and I hope you guys can stay friends because I think regardless of what's going on now, you guys will still end up together. You guys love each other and you have for years and the families get along. It's like we're already family, and like you guys are already married. But I'm not gonna put any stress on that situation. It's your decision and if that's what you want to do I support you. I just hope this new person is as good of a person as Christian is." She said

"I'm still learning. I hope so too."

"Okay, we'll keep my posted. I'll call Cameron now." She said

"Okay. Love you!"

"I love you too, sweet girl." We end the call.

*****

Later on that night Marcel came over and we had dinner. I actually cooked for him and he was pretty impressed. He's pretty much the cook of the relationship so this was something new that we were doing. I wanted to do something nice for him and we both absolutely love to eat, so I thought I would cook for him and see what he thought about it.

We were having so much fun that the time had actually gotten away from me. Our plan was to have an early dinner and be done with everything by 8 o'clock, so I will still have a little time to get some studying in before bed.

He was so supportive of me being in law school. He was very interested in my studies. He would ask all kinds of questions about my classes and would help me study. It's kind of weird because he actually loves to help me study. He got to the point where he would ask me if he could study with me. Ultimately, I think he just liked us spending time together.

We talked about everything and he never ceases to amaze me because every time we have a conversation I learn at least two things about him. He was always a ball of knowledge and he knew a little bit about everything.

Marcel always bought me gifts. It was like ever since he got the dress and the Louboutins, that opened the floodgates for him every time we got together he would give me something. I liked the small gifts he gave me. Like I was complaining about having so many papers to go through, so he bought me an iPad to make it easier on me. All I would have to do was scan my notes into the iPad. So thoughtful.

Marcel was in the bathroom when I got a text message from Christian. He was telling me that he wanted to apologize about the conversation that we had earlier, that he didn't want me to do it alone, and that he would come over tonight so we could talk. I was getting ready to respond to Christian's text, then Marcel walked in and I turned my phone off and put it facedown on the counter.

"What is this?" He tossed an empty pregnancy test box on my counter.

"Why are you going through the garbage?" I frowned. Ugh.

"What the fuck is that?" He asked again, pointing to the box.

"Why are you going through the garbage?" I asked again.

"So are you not going to answer me and we're just gonna keep going back-and-forth, or what?" He said

"Once my question is answered, then I will answer yours." I said

"Just this one time, I'll answer your question first. But for future reference, if I ask you a question, I expect an answer right away. I was using the bathroom and I just happened to look down at your garbage can and it was right on top. I was not going through your garbage, it was there for me to see, out in the open. Now back to what I was saying, what the fuck is this, why do you have it, and why is it open?"

"Well for starters, it's a pregnancy test." I said sarcastically. "It's open because I took it."

"But why do you need a pregnancy test?"

"Because when someone thinks they're pregnant, or there's a possibility that they could be pregnant, they take a pregnancy test to verify their suspicions." I answered being an asshole. Don't come into my apartment, questioning me.

"Look, cut the bullshit. Who are you fucking because you're not fucking me? I thought you were a virgin." He said

"Well who the hell told you that?" I asked, confused. Those words never came out of my mouth.

"You did." He said

"I never told you that. How would you even know? We never talked about it."

"Believe me, I knew you were. You might not have said those exact words but I knew you were." He admitted

"Fine. Yeah, I was a virgin and I'm not anymore."

"So, we've been spending time together getting to know each other and literally are inseparable, but you decided you wanted to finally lose your virginity and it's not me?" He said in disbelief.

"Is that what all this is about? You wanted to take my virginity. Is that why you're being so nice to me?" I asked

"No it's not. I really like you. Honestly, I didn't care if you were a virgin or not, but I thought when you decided you wanted to give it to someone, it would be with me. I wanted to do it. I was glad to do it for you. We haven't even had sex and you lost your virginity to someone else what the fuck am I here for?"

"I don't know what you're here for but you just said you weren't here for sex so..."

"Who was it? Was it a guy from the lobby?" He asked

"I'm not telling you that."

"Yeah, it was lobby boy. I told you I didn't want you talking to him. Why are you still in contact with him?"

"Well, first of all, I understand that for whatever reason you don't like him... but you don't have the right to tell me who I can and cannot talk to." I argued

"When you're dealing with me, I have the right to tell you any fucking thing I wanna tell you. I said don't fucking talk to him no more. If I find out you're still talking to him after I asked you not to, twice now, don't look at me when he comes up missing."

"Are you serious? What's got into you?" I was totally shocked by the type of shit that he was saying to me.

"What's gotten into you?" He mocks me. "Oh my bad, the lobby boy did." He sarcastically joked.

"Wow. You are really showing your true colors right now."

"I told you how I was and I told you I can get jealous. This man was not only talking to you, you fucked him. You didn't only fuck him, you lost your virginity to him. You realize you're mine? No one else's. If you didn't know and you were a little confused, now you know. I don't want to have this conversation again. I don't want to hear about the lobby boy again. Are you pregnant? Because if you are you having an abortion." He spat

"No, I'm not pregnant and if I was I would not be getting an abortion because you're mad someone else took my virginity. I just wouldn't talk to you anymore."

"That's not how that would play out. You better be lucky you're not pregnant." He said

I can't believe this man is talking to me like this. I guess he was not lying when he said he is extremely jealous. I understand his frustrations but I'm not in the mood to deal with this. He needs to get up out of here with this bullshit.

"Marcel, I think it's time for you to leave."

"Get your shit, you're coming home with me." He said confidently. Like I'm going to listen.

"No the fuck I am not." I looked at him like he was crazy. I wasn't going anywhere with him.

"Listen, you can either leave with me now, or you can come by later, but you will stay with me tonight because I want you to. We had a fight and I'm sorry." He said calmly.

"So just because you said you're sorry that means everything that you just said, and the way you spoke to me goes out of the window? I'm confused." I said

"I'm jealous." He throws his hands up, "Is that what you wanna hear? I'm jealous, okay?"

"What do you have to be jealous about? You don't even know him. As soon as I told you that we were talking, you told me not to talk to him anymore. You have no reason to be jealous. What, you're jealous that we hold conversations every now and then?"

"Yeah...When I stepped into your life, you shouldn't have been talking to nobody, but me. And now I'm very jealous because it's obvious that it wasn't a casual friendship. You felt the need to lose your virginity to him. The only way I feel about that is anger. I'm pissed off. I've been putting so much energy and time into us and you chose someone else over me." He said, spilling his emotions out.

"Christian and I—."

He cut me off, "Nah, don't say that nigga name."

"Christian and I ..." I repeated, just to piss him off even more. "We've been friends for years and we had plans to do things a certain way and while I was trying to break the news to him that we basically couldn't see each other anymore because I met you, we started talking and I didn't want that part of my plan to change. He's not in my life how you think he is. That night, one thing led to another, and it happened. I don't regret it, the only thing that I regret is you finding out like this." I explained

"So you're not talking to him anymore?" He asked

"We're not speaking like that, no. The only conversation we were having was if I was pregnant or not. He actually texted me right when you were walking in here and he was apologizing because he has things going on in his life and he told me to take the test by myself and he doesn't feel that it was right and he wanted to apologize. After this, we didn't plan on speaking."

"If that's true, change your number."

"What?" I looked at him like he was crazy.

"Do you wanna be with me?" He asked

"I like you, yeah."

"So change your number and that'll eliminate all suspicions that I have about you two."

"That's what you want me to do? You know I can just give him the new number right?"

"But you're not. If you really want to be with me you will do it and you don't seem like the type to mess up a good thing."

I just looked at him for a few seconds. Yeah I may not seem like the type to mess up a good thing but I really feel like I'm messing up a good thing with Christian right now for Marcel. But on the other hand, I do feel like Marcel is a good thing as well.

"Fine, I'll do it. But, you have to come clean about something." I said, folding my arms.

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell me what happened in the lobby?"

He looked at me then he hung his head but cracked a smile at the same time. "You didn't need to know all of that. That motherfucker showed up at your place of residence, demanded you talk to him, and you think that didn't do something to me? You went and held a conversation with him in front of me, like I wasn't shit."

"That's not how things went." I said

"That's exactly how things went. Soo once y'all said what you had to say, I took him to the side and I gave him a quick two piece, that's it. And now you're telling me that he was still there afterwards? I should go visit his ass."

"Listen Marcel, do not touch him again. I will change my number, but you have to promise me that you won't touch him and I won't contact him ever again." I pleaded with him.

"So now you want to protect him?"

"Yes, he didn't do anything wrong. He's a really good friend of mine and he means a lot to me, but I will change my number and leave him alone, if you promise me this..."

"Whatever. I'll leave him alone. You have my word." He said

"Okay."

He goes into his pocket and takes his keys out. He takes a single key off the ring and he sits it on the island.

"This is the key to my condo. If you decide to come tonight, that's cool but if not then I guess I'll just see you tomorrow. I'm sorry I reacted how I did. It will never happen again."

"Okay." I said

He walked over while grabbing his phone off of the island. He put his phone in his pocket and he kissed me on the cheek, then left.

I didn't know what to think, that whole encounter was just super weird to me and I just didn't know what to make of it. I didn't know that person who just left my house. He was mean. But then it seemed like everything was justified because he explained himself and I guess I can understand why he feels the way that he does. 

Although I understood what was going on and how he felt, I still didn't go to his house that night because I didn't want a continuation of the conversation. I texted him and let him know I will be staying at home and I will see him the next day.

He didn't respond.

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