Loud crunching noises are heard as the camera swivels into focus, blurring briefly and suddenly dipping down.

Ravioli: Scallop, HOLD IT STEADY—WHY ARE WE LIVE—TURN IT OFF YOU IMBECILE

Blackness envelops the screen. Muffled thumping comes through the mic.

Ravioli: slightly ruffled Okay, sorry, welcome back to Natural Beauty! Today we're looking over the gorgeous fields of the taiga for the third time, because we're not inventive and haven't come up with any other places to look over this snowy forest! glares pointedly at Sprinkles.

Sprinkles: through a mouthful of donut Wha?

Scallop: You're being surprisingly documentary-ish. BE LESS FORMAL. BREATHE, RAVIOLI, BREATHE.

Ravioli: You better hope you're still breathing at the end of this show! to side Wait, was that live? Margaret, edit that out. MARGARET?

Sprinkles: rushes in front of the camera. We're very sorry guys, must take brief recess to edit stuff and find Margaret. She's wandered off again—ducks out of camera frame. Muted voices are heard from the background.

fifteen minutes later

Ravioli: THE MINKS. RIGHT. OKAY, GUYS, pauses briefly. CAPS LOCK IS STUCK. SCALLOP HOW DO YOU TURN THIS OFF? THE SUBTITLES ARE ALL IN CAPS LOCK.

Scallop: They're supposed to be in caps, Ravioli. camera switches to a different view of the forest.

Ravioli: Well, whatever. brushes off flustered air Minks are small, otter-like creatures that live in the taiga biome and also parts of the United States. yells over shoulder SPRINKLES, GOOGLE UNITED STATES, PLEASE

Scallop: leans over It's a country

Ravioli: I know. Siri just told me. Anyway, they have dark brown fur and the males emit a stink from their glands in their paws to mark their territory! Sounds like the males in my life! laughs cheesily They're excellent swimmers, and can dive down up to sixteen feet underwater to catch their prey! They love eating muskrats, but also like fish, snapping turtles, and crayfish, among other things.

Sprinkles: We're cutting in three, two, one—

Ravioli: WAIT WHAT

Scallop: Remember? We're doing budget cuts and shortening the time of the documentary to allow for more ads. waves to nonexistent audience Enjoy the next thirty minutes ad free, because you're now going to watch thirty minutes of ads! Bye, and see you next time on—

Ravioli: THAT'S MY LINE! shoves Scallop out of the camera See you next time on Natural Beauty! winks

The camera cuts, but not before a scream of "PHILLIP! STOP EATING THE ********* CAMERA!" slices through the mic.

Scallop: RAVIOLI THIS IS A CHILDREN'S DOCUMENTARY

ayee leopard here for your entertainment
I suck at writing this
yeet