Chapter 22. Breaking points and a New Resolve Part 1
Subaru awoke in a white room, quickly looking around his surroundings and placing a hand on his eye to make sure it was there. Once he calmed down a bit, he looked at Emilia laying down on the floor as he thought to himself as he touched his lips and thought back to when Emilia kissed his dying body in his previous loop.
"...She turned out that way because I wasn't with her. And here I was going on about how I didn't want her to look sad..."
He placed his hand on Emilia's shoulder and shook her to wake her up, as he noticed her slightly shaking.
'I'll save Emilia... and the Sanctuary, and the mansion, too. I'll save every last one of them.'
Subaru continues the loop as normal as could be.
He comforted Emilia.
Took her back to her inn and asked Rem and Ram to watch over her.
Talked to Hikaru about the previous loop and the other failed loops to come up with a plan. Subaru told him that while Hikaru was on his way back to the sanctuary, he found out that Roswaal knew he was looping even if he didn't know the trigger for it. They both concluded that he's been following the Tome of Wisdom and that he won't go against anything that's written, and that if it does, he won't balk at using Subaru's loops to redo it.
But this time, he took things in his own path, this time... he would take the trials himself. He snuck out and ran towards the tomb.
'I need her help.' thought Subaru as he entered the graveyard.
"Invite me, Echidna!" said Subaru as he fell on his knees.
"I'll give you my life and more information about my Anti Magic as many times as you want it! Or my pride or anything else!"
"So please, Echidna!"
"Let me..." Subaru couldn't finish as he fell over on his side and felt his consciousness slipping away from him as he heard a voice speak similar to his.
"Behold an unthinkable present."
''...iar.''
''Liar.''
'Huh...?'
"Liar! Liar! Liar!"
"Liar! Liar! Subaru, you liar!" Subaru recognized that voice all to well...
'W-What...is this?' thought Subaru.
Subaru saw Emilia crying over his dead body, and from the looks of it... Subaru stabbed himself in the throat, in other words he killed himself. He also saw an unconscious Rem next to the pair. The rest of the scene showed Felix doing everything he could to save him, but it was to late, his soul was already gone.
The last words before the scene in front of him was over was...
"You said..."
"You said... that you loved me." he heard those last words come from Emilia's mouth as the scene was over and he woke up in a cold sweat.
'W-What the hell...? I don't recognize that scene...I-I never killed myself....' thought Subaru as he had so many questions running through his head at the moment. It showed an unconscious Rem just laying on the ground while Emilia was crying over his death but the thing is... Rem was completely fine and he never stabbed himself in the throat with a knife.
So he only had to guess that something different must've happened or the scene that was shown to him was either what could've happened or something that did happen but in a different timeline or reality.
But before he could continue with his thoughts he heard his voice speak again.
"Behold an unthinkable present."
And once again, Subaru fell back on side and lost consciousness.
This time he saw the aftermaths of the timelines he did die in.
It showed him when he was brutally killed by Rem in the hallway and what happened after it. Emilia ended up leaving the royal selection which resulted in Roswaal giving up on life.
And he just kept seeing them.
When Puck killed them all at the mansion, Reinhard killed the great spirit as well as the White Whale.
When he was killed by Elsa, Puck froze half of the entirety of the capital.
When Subaru was possessed by Betelgeuse, and they held a somber funeral service for him.
But his sanity further broke when he saw...the other visions.
Himself and Rem walking with a son and daughter in a land he had never seen before.
Himself killing Otto with a wrist blade and stealing his money.
Himself surrounded by a great fire, laughing at an enraged Reinhard.
Himself going berserk in a demonic state in a city he's never seen or been to before, surrounded by flames.
Himself and Hikaru as well as everyone else he's befriended fighting three people with similar powers to Subaru.
Himself and Hikaru fighting a petite girl with platinum white hair and a guy in white clothes in a winter landscape
Himself-
"STOOOOOOOOOOP!" The boy screamed at the top of his lungs.
Subaru found himself now in an empty room as he breathed heavily. With each breath, he felt himself wanting to cry more and more.
"What was that? Does this mean...EVERYTHING IS POINTLESS?!"
Subaru slammed his fist onto the ground as he wanted to cry more and more. The current visions he seen still taking a toll on him. Some of them seemed to be from a near future which shouldn't be possible due to it being the present.
But if those outcomes were true as well as the aftermaths of the failed loops...then that means Subaru has left so many versions of his friends behind... causing him to slump down on his knees as he barraged himself with negative thoughts.
'I'm a failure...why was I chosen by the grimoire? Why was I of all people chosen to become a devil and have an incredible power known as anti magic? I'm... nothing more then a loser... a pathetic loser...'
"-Please wake up, Subaru-kun. I would be happy to see your face."
"Huh?" Subaru looked up to see a sky blue beauty in front of him, standing in the witches tomb along with him.
At first Subaru thought that Rem had the qualifications to enter the tomb as well, but quickly scratched that idea as he remembered that Rem was with Ram taking care of that bastard Roswaal.
But... apart of him wanted to believe that Rem, was here with him. He looked at the blue maid as he uttered
"This can't be real."
"It is real, Subaru-kun."
"You can't be here..."
"Should you desire it, Subaru-kun, I will be at your side at any moment."
"...Rem."
"Yes. This is Subaru-kun's Rem."
Subaru was weak, hopeless and so brittle that he could not live without something to cling to, always without confidence, always in doubt. Because this was the girl who, regardless of Subaru's incapacity to be strong, told him she loved him.
Subaru was hugged by Rem as she spoke nothing but sweet things to him, letting him weep loudly as he could. Because she was the only person he could show this weakness to.
"All of your hurt, your pain, your weakness, I will shoulder as substitute. Everything you willed to protect, to fight, to complete... I ask you will entrust to me. There is no necessity at all for you to carry every single burden. Task everything to me, for now you may rest peacefully, and show me once again the Subaru-kun that I love."
Subaru closed his eyes at her as she slowly leaned her face forward.
But a voice rang to his head...the same voice that dragged him from the darkness and into the light of day. As well as another voice that sounded sinister yet familiar at the same time.
"It is easy to give up."
"..."
"But it doesn't suit you."
...
...
...
...
"COME ON...WAKE UP!"
Subaru immediately got away from her, as she looked up at him confused.
"...Who are you?"
"Huh?"
"When... I'm hopeless at the end of my rope, seriously wishing that someone'll do something, thinking maybe it's impossible and about to give up... you would come to me. I seriously believed that."
"..."
"You'd listen to my whining, let me spew out my whining, let me wring myself out on tears and everything until the tap's all dry..."
"Well yes I'd-"
"-And say, stand up. Not to mention, she's with Ram taking care of that bastard Roswaal!"
Subaru furrowed his eyes at the impostor. He knew the real Rem would never let him give up, she was one of the only people he could show his true weakness to, and the closest other was Hikaru. He continued to interrogate the girl further for using the face of one of his two guiding stars as a mask.
"Screw off you fake. Don't coddle me wearing Rem's face and voice!"
'Rem' soon began to blur as a new person appeared. Her pink hair stretches halfway down her back, her mien gentle—or more rather, timid. Her facial features are attractive, but that did not mean her face as a whole was outstandingly beautiful. Something more of an ordinary, normal-person kind of cuteness.
"W-W-Who the hell are you?!"
"I-I'm the Witch of Lust...Carmilla. Ni-
nice...to...m-m-meet you..."
Seeing his gaze spontaneously turn harsh, a huge shudder runs through Carmilla's body and she winds up hugging her head.
"D-D-Don't hit...me!"
"Not going to do that...but what the hell were you playing at? Putting on Rem's shape and standing in front of me! Is that what your power is?!"
Subaru became more and more frustrated that the girl in front of him used Rem as some tool to get to him. That was when Echidna saved him, explaining that her Authority caused those who look at her normal form to lose their breath and cease blinking their eyes at her beauty.
Back in the usual hill with Echidna, he began asking what had occurred earlier. Firstly, she apologized for using Camilla against him like that. Secondly, she said she did it because she saw that the second trial was beginning to erode his mind and she had to make sure she didn't lose him.
Subaru began the questioning as he had a lot of questions he wanted answered.
"The whole second trial...what was that exactly...?"
"To begin with Return by Death, can be one of two things."
"One of two things?" Subaru asked as Echidna nodded her head as she continued explaining.
"It is actually the ability to use your own death to reset time itself to a certain point of a perceived challenge... or it uses your own death to transfer your memories to another you in a separate universe or timeline, thus allowing you to overcome the said challenge."
"And you can't prove it...?"
"Well there are tons of clues leading to this point.
It took awhile before everything clicked in Subaru's head as he widened his eyes. Echidna smiled in satisfaction as she saw his reaction.
"You don't mean the-?"
"The trials, the things it showed you as well as you're ability to loop through time itself is enough proof."
Subaru wanted to deny it but he knew deep down that she was right. Anything could happen when it comes to time looping. One wrong move and it could change the events that would occur.
Echidna began once again.
"Some of those things in the trial were the aftermaths of your deaths. And the other ones...well those are alternate realities of what would've happened if you made a different choice like the one where you were surrounded by a town full of flames. And the other ones could be upcoming events that will happen in the near future."
"L-Like my fight with that platinum haired girl?! Who is she anyway?!And who was that guy in the white clothing?!" Subaru exclaimed as he placed his hands on the table.
Echidna's expression turned serious as she began to explain.
"That woman is Pandora, the Witch of Vainglory. Her powers made her an expert at saving her own skin. My best guess is that you and your friend will end up fighting her in some way or form."
Even though Subaru never met the girl. He was oddly trembling at Echidna's description, almost as if he's fought her or encountered her.
'W-Why am I trembling...?' Subaru thought to himself as he placed his hand on his chest to calm himself down. He brushed the feeling off as instincts of being a Devil and nothing more, but something else said otherwise.
"So...hehehe...Hikaru and I are just jumping timelines? And we'll be fighting this person in the future...? Man, this is some really messed up shit I have to deal with..." Subaru chuckled darkly.
"Subaru..."
"So the people Hikaru and I are trying to save aren't even the same ones I knew? Emilia? Rem? Beatrice, Otto, Patrasche, Petra, Frederica, Garfiel, Ram...NONE OF THEM ARE THE SAME?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!"
The boy unknowingly unleashed a bit of Anti Magic as it swirled around him.
"I think it's harsh. But, I also think that all there's possibly to do is rationalize it."
Echidna explained that thinking of the other worlds and timelines was a complete waste of energy and that he should look at the current present and focus more on what's happening now and later on and not the ones that had now gone by.
"There...There is no one who can forgive me..."
"I will forgive you. Who knows of this, I will."
"There is no one who can judge me..."
"I will judge you. Me, who knows your sin, I will."
"There is no one who can validate me."
"If you cannot validate yourself, then allow me to invalidate the you, you cannot forgive."
"..." Subaru was silent as Echidna continued.
"If you will validate your sin, I will invalidate your sin."
Every single word the mean-eyed boy had, Echidna persistently attempted to dispel.
"Why are you... trying so hard to do something for me?"
"...Making a girl say this kind of thing is just slightly overly mean."
Echidna explained that by using a special necklace she would give him, there she could guide him and help him in his times of need. Subaru started to consider it.
"Maybe... Maybe it wouldn't be so bad..."
"Ah, um... right. If you're really desperate for it, then I guess that contract's something we could..."
Echidna breathed calmy as she stood up and raised her right hand to Subaru, he then began reaching for it as well...
Before they made contact, a shattering noise ripped through the air as the white cup-bearing table beside Subaru exploded. The impact which broke the table transmitted on to the ground, the ground collapsing as it made a crater, the quakes and rumbling jolting Subaru violently as he jumped in surprise.
In front of them... was the Witch of Wrath as the blond woman glared at the two.
"I'm putting a stop to this contract!"
Suddenly, Subaru found himself surrounded by four other women.
Typhon.
Daphne.
Carmilla.
And someone he hadn't met yet.
"Hey...huuuuu...Sekhmet's the name...haaaaaaa...so you're the boy Echidna is vying for...?"
One by one, the witches gave subtle clues to Echidna...to her lies...and to her purpose for all of this.
The greedy witch then went on to explain in a long spiel to Subaru, that she merely wanted to satisfy her curiosity of his abilities, his actions, his anti-magic, the new race of devils, as well as his Return by Death. She would use him as he would use her, to further her goals by furthering his.
"So all of this...was just to get to me?"
Echidna readily explained to him that she just wanted to get close to him so she could see his strengths and weaknesses and his standings of whether he would accept the contract.
"Before I decide...I want to know something."
"Ask away."
Subaru then asked.
"You know Beatrice, Echidna?"
"...Yes, I do. Since I was deeply involved over the process of her creation."
"I see..."
Subaru then continued.
"Beatrice has, because of the contract, always been waiting for "Them". Are you the one who tied that contract to her? Are you the one who bound her to the mansion?"
"I don't remember specifying a location, but... the one who arranged for her to guard the Forbidden Archive and wait until their coming was indeed me."
"Who is "Them"?
"I do not recall?"
"..."
There was a short pause in the air before Subaru exclaimed.
"Even you don't know who the THEY Beatrice is waiting for is?!"
"Nope, I don't. I do not know who the THEY Beatrice is waiting for is."
"Why?! You're the one who told her to wait in the Forbidden Archive, aren't you?! If you don't know...no way."
Echidna, the one who instructed Beatrice to wait in the Forbidden Archive, was someone separate from who imposed the time limit that she wait until "Them's visit. If so, the one who would know the situation would again be somewhere else-!
"Wrong, you're mistaken."
"...!"
"The one who instructed Beatrice to wait for "Them" was me. There's no mistake about that. Where you are mistaken is in a more fundamental area."
"...Fundamental?"
"Now just why in the world did I tie Beatrice to that contract? That is where you're misunderstanding. I had Beatrice guard over the Forbidden Archive so that she could give it's contents over to "Them", would be what you're thinking right?"
Subaru didn't see what she was getting at. It's just as a natural thought. Giving instructions to hand something over to someone. But at Subaru and his entirely ordinary thoughts, Echidna shook her head.
"That wasn't my instruction to Beatrice. I tied her to the contract, making her wait for "Them"... while making her wait for "Them"... while waiting for the result of just who she would choose as "Them".
"!!!"
"Naturally, going four hundred years without choosing anyone is yet another result. As is her not easily choosing anyone is yet another result. As in her not easily choosing "Them" from any of those she met through her days. Potentially even deliberating whether to violate the contract, and desiring her own DEATH, is yet another result."
"And what do you think of that?" Subaru asked as he slowly begin narrowing his eyes.
"Hmmm? I think it's wonderful."
Subaru felt extreme anger as his eyes slowly turned red but his pupils remained the same. As well as a little anti-magic energy leaking out, putting some of the witches on edge while Echidna's smile deepened.
'Interesting...'
"W-What the hell do you mean "it's wonderful?!' You're her mom aren't you?!"
"I simply told her to guard over the archive. I just didn't expect the result to be that she would wait over four decades to do so."
Echidna replied with that same smile on her face.
"You're her mom! Of course she's going to do whatever you ordered her to do!!! Do you not see her as your daughter at all?! But as a tool to satisfy your curiosity?!"
Subaru then decided that he would not accept Echidna's contract and would instead save Beatrice from that hell she was trapped in no matter what. He would make sure to tell Hikaru when he got out.
Just then, a horrid feeling swept through Subaru's back...
Echidna's eyes, seeing what is behind Subaru, lightly snapped open. Following her surprise, Subaru turned around, and saw it.
Darkness surrounded it from the neck up...the Witch of Envy...
Meanwhile outside the tomb, Hikaru arrived at the tomb spending several hours trying to find Subaru. He saw the distinct prints on the ground leading up to the tomb.
"Damn it Subaru..."
He then took a deep breath.
And ran straight into the tomb.
The Witch of Envy, Satella, has arrived as the future of Subaru's fate was to be decided...
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