Natsu Does Not Dream of a Stripper Senpai
Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters belong to Hiro Mashima, the story is based on the anime Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai.
Natsu Does Not Dream of a Stripper Senpai
Natsu Dragneel hated going to the library. It was boring, and they expected him to be quiet. He didn't really have many friends though, so when Lucy asked him to go with her, he'd agreed.
He was standing in the manga section, looking for something he could pretend to read while he waited for Lucy, when he saw the boy walking around half-naked in the library. He had very dark hair and some of the palest skin Natsu had ever seen. He weaved between people and tables, occasionally stopping next to someone and waving his hand in front of their face.
Natsu opened his mouth in surprise. It wasn't so much the fact that he saw him that filled him with wonder, but rather that no one else seemed to. Natsu recognized him right away. How could he not? He'd grown up seeing that face on TV and in movies. You couldn't walk around Magnolia without being bombarded with billboards of Gray Fullbuster.
In a way, Natsu had always thought of the teen as his friend when he was younger. Someone he and his sister could spend their lonely afternoons with in their small apartment.
Come to think of it, what was the last thing Gray had been in? Natsu couldn't really remember. Maybe the stress had gotten to be too much, and he'd gone crazy. At least that would explain what Natsu was seeing.
What was Gray Fullbuster doing walking around town in his underwear? Natsu continued to watch the slightly surreal display unfolding in front of him as Gray continued to make his way through the library, finally stopping next to Natsu, who couldn't help himself from saying something.
"Dude, what in the hell are you doing?" Gray jumped a little, but instead of looking embarrassed at being caught Natsu could see a small smile forming on his lips. "You can see me?"
"Of course I can see you, you're walking around in your underwear. Were you mugged?" Natsu took off his jacket and offered it to Gray.
Gray refused the jacket, but his smile widened a bit at the gesture before turning sad. "I wasn't mugged... you wouldn't understand."
"Well, my name is Natsu, Natsu Dragneel." Natsu extended his hand for the other to shake and was surprised to see the nervous look that crossed Gray's face before reaching out his own hand. They shook hands, and Natsu thought how nice it felt to just hold his hand for a second.
"I'm Gray, Gray Fullbuster," Gray said quietly.
"I know, I recognized you from your billboards." Natsu smiled, he wondered if he should say something about how his acting had helped him not feel so lonely when he was little. He decided that might be a bit weird.
"You'll probably forget this as soon as I go, but thank you. It was nice to be seen again." Gray said before giving a small wave and walking towards the library exit, leaving Natsu in a somewhat confused state.
He waited impatiently for Lucy to finish so he could tell her what had happened, but she was only half listening to him, already engrossed in a book.
It was nice to be seen again.
What did he mean by that and why had he looked so sad? Gray Fullbuster had been in the public eye since he'd been a young child, shouldn't he be used to being seen, and how come no one had reacted to seeing him walking around half naked? Typically, if you saw a celebrity walking around, they were always swarmed by fangirls, but no one had even batted an eye his way. Even if he'd somehow managed to become unpopular, you'd expect some kind of reaction. Natsu couldn't get the incident out of his mind.
He tried to tell Lucy that he was going to use the library's computer, but she waved him away, her cheeks sporting a pinkish tint. She must have been reading one of those romance novels.
Natsu wandered over to the computer section and sat down. He took out his library card, placed it in front of the IR reader and waited for it to grant him access to the computer. Once he was cleared, he quickly did a Google search for Gray Fullbuster.
After sorting through the many IMDB results, he found a news report that said that Gray Fullbuster had retired from the entertainment industry six months earlier. Okay, that might explain what he was doing in Magnolia, but had he had some sort of breakdown or something that would explain his behavior?
He continued to sort through search results but wasn't able to find anything that shed any light on Gray's strange behavior. Lucy came and got him, and although they had fun for the remainder of the afternoon, his mind would not let go of the sad look on Gray's face.
o-o
Natsu saw him again at the train station on his way home from school the next day, fully clothed this time. He was standing by the rails waiting for the train and Natsu decided to go say hello.
"So you do own clothes, good to know." Natsu teased, watching with amusement as Gray jumped at his words.
"Of course I own clothes, you idiot." Gray griped, "I don't always go around like that."
"I don't know, I've heard the entertainment industry can turn people into perverts, or were you practicing for a new career. As a stripper perhaps?"
"You can still see me, huh? Figures that the one person who can had to be annoying." Gray rolled his eyes at him, but he didn't walk away, and Natsu took that as an invitation to stay.
"Why do you keep saying stuff like that? It's weird, man."
"I already told you, you wouldn't understand. Hell, I don't understand it myself."
The train arrived, and they both got on it, finding seats together. "Do you live around here?" Gray immediately tensed at the question.
"Why would I tell you where I live? For all I know, you could be a stalker or something."
Natsu laughed good-naturedly at that, "You can relax, I honestly don't have the attention span or follow through to make it as a stalker. I was just making conversation."
Gray smiled at that, although it didn't reach his eyes, his responses seemed to always be a bit reserved. Natsu longed to hear what Gray's real laugh sounded like. He didn't think the gloominess he'd seen so far really suited him. Gray stared at him for a while, and they sat in uneasy silence until Gray finally began to speak.
"You saw what happened at the library, yeah? It's like that. People just stopped seeing me. They can't see me, and they can't hear me. " Gray looked down at his shoes as if he didn't want Natsu to see his face.
"I think it was just discomfort at first because it started with the people that were the closest to me. They just didn't know what to say, and pretty soon it was like they forgot I existed."
"After I retired I was kind of... out of it, so I don't really remember when I first noticed it had spread to strangers as well, but it's been at least a few months now. Every day it seems to get a little worse."
Gray finally looked up, and Natsu knew his face must have shown his disbelief because he could almost see the wall come up between them.
"I told you. You wouldn't understand!" Gray snapped as he turned away from Natsu, "Just leave me alone. I'm not some charity case you need to help."
"Hang on, you have to admit, some of this is hard to believe." Natsu pointed out, "I want to help, just give me a minute to absorb this. Why is it I can still see you?"
Gray shrugged his shoulders. "Beats me."
"Well, maybe I'm supposed to help you. I'm not exactly a stranger to weird things happening."
"What does that mean?" The train arrived at Natsu's station, and as he got up to exit the train, he was surprised to see Gray getting off as well.
"What? This is my stop too." Gray stood there quietly for a moment as if he was thinking about something, but then he shook his head slightly. "I guess it was nice seeing you again. Thanks for talking to me, if you've forgotten me next time I see you, I won't hold it against you." Gray waved to Natsu.
Natsu watched him walk towards a concession stand and followed, not ready to let him go just yet. Something about this whole situation felt off to him. There was apparently a large chunk of information he was missing, and based on his internet search, the only way he was going to get it was from Gray himself.
He stood a few feet behind Gray, waiting for him to finish getting his food so he could approach him again. He heard Gray order his food twice, but the worker had no reaction.
"Hey, what kind of crappy customer service is that? Can't you see he's trying to give you his order?" Natsu snapped at the lady behind the counter.
"Who are you talking about, sir? There's no one there."
Gray started to walk away, and Natsu quickly repeated Gray's order and paid the lady before running after him. He caught up with him and tried to shove the bag at him. "Here."
"You didn't have to do that you know," Gray said, his arms crossed in front of his chest, although he was eyeing the bag with obvious hunger.
"I believe the word you're looking for is 'thanks.'" Natsu held the bag in front of him. "Unless you don't want it?" Natsu pretended to be interested in the contents of the bag himself, but Gray ripped it out of his hands before he could touch the food.
"You're right, I'm sorry. Thank you." Gray managed in between bites as he quickly wolfed down the pastry as if he hadn't eaten in days. "I'm just sad the effect has spread to the train station, they have good junk food."
"I can always get it for you."
"I really do appreciate your help, Natsu, but please don't make promises you can't keep. It's only going to make it worse for me when you do forget me."
Natsu ignored the implication and grabbed Gray by the arm. "Come on, I want to show you something."
"Why would I go with you? I barely know you." Gray protested, releasing himself from Natsu's grasp.
"I'm harmless, I promise." Natsu put his hands up in a gesture of innocence and gave him his most disarming smile, the one Wendy said could talk people into doing anything he wanted.
Gray grudgingly followed him out of the train station. "Where are you taking me?"
"My place."
Gray stopped in his tracks. "That's supposed to reassure me? I'm going home."
"Really dude? Based on what I saw of you yesterday, I'm pretty sure if I were to try anything you could hold your own. I just want you to meet my sister, Wendy." Natsu explained, amused at how hot and cold Gray ran.
"I don't do fan greets anymore."
"You know, for someone who's so upset about not being seen, you're awfully picky."
Gray put up some more protests, but it didn't seem to stop him from following Natsu home. They entered the small apartment, taking off their shoes and putting them on the mat beside the door.
Natsu headed towards his room, and Gray followed, sitting on the bed and looking around. When he looked back, Natsu was already taking off his shirt.
"What the hell are you doing?" Gray growled.
"Relax, I just want to show you something."
"If those pants come down, I'm going to show you my fist!" Gray quieted down as he stared intently at the X-shaped scar that was on Natsu's hip. He whistled and asked, "How did you get that?"
"My sister, that's what I wanted to show you." Natsu replied as he trailed the scar with his fingers.
"Your sister did that to you, and you want me to meet her?" Gray raised an eyebrow.
"No, you dumbass. Wendy didn't hurt me, she wouldn't hurt a fly. Will you just let me talk?"
"A few years ago, Wendy got into some trouble at school. She was getting bullied by this group of girls. We tried to get the school to help, but that just made things worse. One day, my dad got a call from the school to go pick Wendy up, they said that she had hurt another student." Natsu grabbed a picture from his drawer and showed it to Gray.
Gray looked at the picture and then back up at Natsu. "That was the picture my father was given to show the extent of the injuries of the girl Wendy had supposedly assaulted. Except, Wendy claimed that the girl had attacked her. So my father took her out of school and now she does it online."
"It took us a while to understand what was happening, and we still don't really understand how it happens, but when Wendy is hurt, she can somehow heal herself by passing the injuries to someone else. That's how I got my scar, Wendy tried to kill herself, and when I went to help her, I ended up with the wound instead." Natsu shuddered to remember how scared he had been to find his sister bleeding and the pain when he had received her injury, "So you see, strangeness is something I'm quite accustomed to."
"How is that even possible?" Gray asked in disbelief.
"Who knows? Why can't people see you anymore?"
Gray reached over to touch the scar on Natsu's hip just as a young girl walked into the room, "I'm so sorry!" she said, and she quickly turned around and ran out.
"Wendy, come back here. It's not what it looks like." Natsu called out to her.
"It's... it's fine, if you want to have a boy over, Natsu. It's none of my business." Wendy said, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
"This is my new friend, Gray. I was trying to explain your situation to him." Natsu told her with a smile.
"I thought we agreed not to tell anyone," Wendy said, peering at Gray nervously from underneath her bangs.
"Wendy, do you remember Gray Fullbuster, the actor?" Natsu watched her face with hope. Wendy thought for a moment "Do you mean that guy we used to watch on TV? Sure."
"Well, Gray is in a situation kind of like yours. Something that can't be explained, in his case, people have forgotten about him, and they can no longer see him."
Wendy looked at Gray sadly, "I'm sorry, that must be hard." She looked at him for a moment and then ran to her room to get her phone. She took a picture of the two boys together and then one of the three of them, both siblings with their arms around Gray. "Now we won't be able to forget you." She beamed at him and asked him for his number. She sent the pictures to both their phones.
"Would you like to stay for dinner, I was coming to ask Natsu what he wanted when I ...uhm" she looked at Natsu for help.
"I already told you, Wendy, he was only checking out my scar." Natsu looked to Gray for support, but Gray was looking out the window.
"Anyway, you're welcome to stay for dinner. Wendy is... well, we're both terrible cooks really, but at least you won't be alone."
Gray looked back at the two of them and nodded. "I'll help. I used to help my mom." He got up from Natsu's bed and followed Wendy into the apartment's small kitchen.
Natsu stayed in his room for a moment, thinking about the situation he had gotten himself into. He put his shirt back on and thought about how nice Gray's fingers had felt on his skin. It was that same feeling he'd gotten from shaking his hand the previous day, and he was suddenly annoyed with himself for not checking the other one out more when he'd had the chance.
Ever since the incident with Wendy people had treated him differently. Everyone thought that he'd tried to kill himself and he couldn't argue the point without revealing his sister's issue. So one by one he lost all of his friends. It was a bit lonely, but at least he still had his two closest ones, Erza and Lucy.
Until then, he'd been satisfied with that, but now he thought Gray might be an excellent addition to their group and he realized that he selfishly wanted to help Gray with his problem because then maybe Natsu could have someone of his very own.
He was going to join them in the kitchen when he heard something crash. He ran over to see what had happened and saw Gray holding on to his hand, which was bleeding across his palm.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Wendy kept repeating the words as she covered her ears with her hands.
Gray didn't look upset as much as he looked scared. As blood dripped from his wound, his face was unreadable to Natsu. He had no idea what was going on in his friend's mind, but all of a sudden he took off towards the door. He stopped and put his shoes on and ran out without ever saying a word. Natsu had half a mind to chase after him, but he had to deal with Wendy. He couldn't leave her like this.
"What happened, Wendy?" Natsu made his voice low and soft, knowing that the wrong tone was likely to send his sister into a panic attack.
"I'm so sorry," Wendy repeated.
"I know you are, Wen. I'm sure it was just an accident."
Wendy nodded, trying to calm herself down. Natsu knew better than to touch her when she was like this, so he continued to speak in a quiet tone and murmur words of encouragement.
"I was cutting up some vegetables, and we were chatting and I-- I cut my hand and then it jumped to him." Wendy started crying. "I hate this, Natsu. All I ever do is hurt others to help myself. You should have just let me die."
"Don't you ever say that Wendy," Natsu chastised her, he opened his arms and she ran into them. He hugged her and tried to reassure her as much as possible, even as he worried about Gray and whether he would remember him when he next saw him. He was determined to help him.
o-o
It was days before he saw Gray again and it certainly wasn't from lack of trying. He waited around the train station for hours, he walked around the neighborhood. He even went to the library, but no matter where he looked there was no sign of him. A few times he asked people if they knew who Gray Fullbuster was, but he only ever got blank looks in return. The only thing that consoled Natsu was that he still remembered the name and he had Gray's picture in his phone.
He'd tried texting the number that Gray had given Wendy but did not receive any response. He'd about given up when it turned out Gray was at the place he least expected to find him, the front steps of Natsu's apartment.
"I've been looking everywhere for you!" Natsu exclaimed, relieved to see that his friend was alright, "Where have you been?"
He looked Gray over, he didn't look like he wanted to be there so Natsu was surprised to hear him say, "You can still see me?" There were tears in his eyes and Natsu had never seen him look so vulnerable. He could hear Gray's stomach rumbling. "Can you please go with me to the grocery store?"
Natsu stood in shock at how quickly Gray had deteriorated in just a few short days. "Please, you're the only one left. No... no one around here can see me anymore."
Natsu had been carrying a bag with some treats he had bought for Wendy, and he tossed them over. Gray immediately devoured them. "When was the last time you ate?"
Gray's cheeks reddened as he was forced to admit it had been several days since he'd last eaten anything.
"Oh, Gray." Natsu's heart was beating very fast, a combination of fear and affection battling for control. "We need to figure something out. You can't keep living like this."
They went to the supermarket, and Natsu loved how it felt like such a couple thing to do. He even held Gray's hand, claiming it was an experiment to see whether people could see him if he was being touched by others. At first, Gray fought him, but after he had agreed to the experiment, he never let go, so Natsu held on for all he was worth.
They ate outside in the park, a picnic under the stars, and although no words were spoken, they sat together closely, their bodies slightly touching. Natsu cursed his luck that he could only feel this happy with someone who could be gone at any minute.
"Do you think that once you stop seeing me, I'll just cease to exist?" Gray asked as he looked into Natsu's eyes.
"Don't say that, Wendy still remembers you." Natsu reminded him.
"No, she doesn't," Gray said quietly. "When I first got to your place, I knocked and called out her name, but she never came, so I rang the doorbell. She opened the door and looked right through me. So I waited for you, hoping you still did."
"There has to be something we're missing." Natsu pleaded, "Please tell me everything, I know there's something you're holding back."
"I may as well." Gray sighed, "Someone should know before I disappear."
"Stop saying that!" Natsu screamed in frustration, surprised by his own outburst.
Gray eyed him with his impossibly dark eyes that somehow still managed to be blue. He waited for a few moments before taking off his shirt. Natsu looked at him confused. He stopped ogling when he saw that Gray was trying to lead his attention to somewhere specific. He was pointing to his hip area, and Natsu was shocked to see a scar that matched his own. He trailed his fingers over it, and although Gray flinched a bit at his touch, he didn't stop him.
After a few minutes, Gray put his shirt back on and sat back down on the grass facing Natsu. "Have you ever heard of Juvia Lockser?"
Natsu thought about it and nodded. "Isn't she that actress that used to be in a bunch of movies with you?"
"Yeah, she was." Gray grabbed Natsu's hand and held it in his. "She got it into her head that because we played a couple in a few movies that meant we were one in real life too. The studio liked the idea, and they were trying to pressure me into pretending for the fans, they thought it would sell more movie tickets or something, but I refused. For one, I'm gay, which the studio didn't want people to know, but more importantly, I couldn't stand the way she acted. She was even jealous of my mother."
Gray squeezed Natsu's hand and held it up in front of his eyes. "If she had seen us like this, she probably would've flipped out." Gray managed a dry chuckle, but Natsu could see the tension in every part of his body, and he instinctively knew that whatever was coming was terrible.
"I told her over, and over that I wasn't interested, but she wouldn't listen. For a full year, she sent me gifts, wrote me love letters and tried to touch me at every opportunity. She'd show up wherever I was supposed to be and scared away all of my friends until I couldn't take it anymore. It was the worst year of my life.
One day, I finally snapped and yelled at her in front of everyone. I told her that I wasn't interested in her and I would never be interested in her. She went into hysterics, but she left me alone, and I thought that was the end of it."
Natsu grabbed Gray's other hand to try to keep him grounded as he watched the pain play out on Gray's face.
"You don't have to keep going if you don't want to."
"Yeah, I do. Someone needs to know what happened." Gray said bitterly.
Natsu managed to hold back all the questions he had bubbling inside of him and let Gray continue at his own pace.
"I had just returned from a promotional tour for the last movie I did." Gray began, and it wasn't long before his voice began to waver. "I was surprised my parents hadn't picked me up at the airport, but there was a car waiting for me, so I didn't think much of it. I figured maybe they were busy." Tears began to stream down his face, and Natsu wanted nothing more than to make this pain go away, to replace it with happiness that could somehow bring Gray back to the world.
"When I opened the door to our apartment, the first thing I noticed was the silence. It was eerie, and it immediately set me on edge. I called out to my mom, but she answered instead. Juvia was in my house, except I could tell that she wasn't all there from the way she was moving and talking. She was wearing some of my mother's clothes and acting like we were married and I had just gotten home from work. I reminded her of what I had said, and she started laughing. I tried to move around her and called out for my parents again. I didn't understand why they would've let her in when they knew how I felt about her."
Gray remained quiet for a few minutes, and Natsu murmured soothing words as he did with Wendy. Gray gave him a small smile. "That's when she pulled out the knife she'd been hiding behind her back. It was my mother's santoku knife, the one I had used countless times while helping her make dinner. It was covered in dried blood, and I just froze. She, she killed my parents, and when I wouldn't agree to her insane demands, she stabbed me and then herself. I managed to lock myself in the bathroom and called Emergency Services. I was able to hold on until they got there but no one else made it."
Natsu didn't care what the rules of propriety were at this point. He'd found himself crying just as much as Gray and he needed to touch the other, to try to share some of the burdens that Gray had been carrying. He leaned in and rubbed his forehead to Gray's, and they sat there for several minutes in silence as they both cried.
"Do you mind if we move around?" Gray asked, and Natsu shook his head, not trusting himself to talk yet. They stood up, and after Gray picked up the remaining grocery bags, he grabbed Natsu's hand. They walked out of the park, and Natsu let Gray lead the way.
"I was in the hospital for a few days." Gray resumed his story, his voice stronger as the worst of it seemed to be over. "People came to see me, but I could tell they were very uncomfortable. They would give their condolences, but after they did that they didn't seem to know what to say to me. I didn't really blame them, I mean what the hell do you say to someone after something like that?
After the funeral, though, I started to notice people doing little things to avoid me. Simple things like taking the stairs instead of the elevator or crossing to the other side of the street if they saw me coming. Pretty soon they walked past me like I wasn't even there and I guess shortly after I just wasn't. They couldn't see me anymore."
"I started thinking it was all my fault. If I had just accepted Juvia none of this would have ever happened. My parents would still be alive." Gray looked straight ahead as he talked, his words flat like he was reciting words oft repeated.
"I hated myself, and I wished I had died in their place but I couldn't kill myself. It would have been disrespectful to them. So instead, I wished that I could just disappear, that I could stop being a burden to everyone."
"Are you out of your mind?" Natsu was outraged. 'You didn't do anything wrong, Gray. She did. Just because she was in love with you doesn't mean you owed her anything. It certainly didn't give her the right to do what she did!"
"I know that now, but back then I couldn't see it. I found out later that Juvia had always been unstable, the studio had even recommended she get psychological help, but her parents had been too worried that word would get out and it would affect her popularity." Gray's bitterness was rolling off of him in waves. "The studio was afraid of losing one of their most popular actresses, so they didn't push. No one did anything." Gray snarled, "And my family paid the price."
Natsu just stared, not sure how to respond or what to do with that information. So many emotions flowed through him as he absorbed the enormity of what Gray had just told him. He didn't know what to feel or what to think. Just how did someone live with something like that? He began to understand why Gray would have felt the way he did. After something like that, Natsu thought he might have wanted to disappear as well.
But still, Natsu felt like he had missed something, he ran Gray's words over in his mind again, trying to find what he instinctively knew was there. All of a sudden it clicked. He remembered a time, some years earlier, when he had been talking to Wendy about what had happened to her. Wendy had confided that she thought that everything that had happened had been her fault because she had wished that they could feel what she felt.
Gray had wished that he could disappear, maybe that was the connection. They had both made wishes born of pain, and they had somehow come true. "You said you wished you could disappear." Natsu said excitedly, "Maybe that's it!"
Gray smiled wryly, "It doesn't work that way, Natsu. Wishes don't come true just because you ask them of a star or anything else. We're not children anymore."
"But what if they did?" Natsu pushed, not willing to give up on the only thing that made sense to him at the moment. "Wendy told me she'd wished that those girls could feel what she felt and look what happened to her! And if we can find a way to undo yours. maybe we can undo hers too!"
Gray shook his head. "Thanks for listening, I'm glad someone knows even if you're likely to forget soon."
"You sound like you've already given up." Natsu protested.
"I haven't given up, not yet." Gray put his arms around Natsu in an awkward hug. "But I do think it might be too late." He squeezed gently and let go, grabbing Natsu's hand and continuing to walk down the street.
They stopped in front of an apartment building that was not too far from his own. "This is me right here." They both stood in front of the building, neither willing to let the other out of their sight, not now when the stakes were so high.
"Do you think can you stay with me tonight? I really don't want to be alone right now."
"Yeah, I'll call Wendy."
Gray led the way inside and busied himself with putting away the rest of the groceries he had bought. Natsu called his sister and explained that he was staying at a friend's house, but he was nearby so he could hurry over if she needed anything. With that out of the way, he looked around Gray's apartment, it was immaculate but had very little in the form of mementos. There was a framed family picture on one of the shelves of a small bookcase that was full of mangas. Natsu immediately headed over and picked up the frame.
"Your mom was beautiful." Natsu commented as he examined the faces, frozen in a happier time, "You look a lot like her. I don't really remember mine anymore, she died a few years after Wendy was born."
When he didn't receive a response, he turned to see Gray watching him with a funny look on his face.
"What?" Natsu asked not quite sure what to make of the expression.
"I think you just said I was beautiful." Gray smiled with a gentleness he had not shown before. For the first time since they'd met, his smile actually reached his eyes, making them twinkle like the stars they'd been sitting under only a few minutes earlier.
"Oh, uhm..." Natsu said, flustered by the smile. He hadn't really given any thought to what he was saying. He couldn't deny that he thought it was true. He shrugged and felt his lips stretch into a grin. "I guess I did, what of it?"
Gray didn't reply, just shook his head slightly and kept smiling as he made them some tea. They drank it quietly while sitting on Gray's futon, which was the only other piece of furniture in the room.
"We should get to bed," Gray said as he grabbed the teacups and walked into the kitchen to wash them. "You have school tomorrow."
Natsu had no desire to go back to school the next day, but he kept that thought to himself. He had this feeling that if he left Gray, he might never be able to see him again and that thought terrified him. He wouldn't be able to forget him if he was with him, would he?
He wished he could figure out a way to break this curse or spell or whatever the hell it was that had this hold on Gray and everyone around him. He didn't want to think about living a life where he didn't know that Gray Fullbuster existed, even if he wouldn't consciously remember the difference. He wanted Gray in his life, to explore all the firsts that were ahead of them now that they were moving towards something. More than anything, he wanted Gray to not want to disappear anymore, he wanted Gray to want to stay, not for Natsu but for himself.
Natsu followed Gray into his bedroom, and they started getting ready for bed. They stripped down to their boxers and climbed into the small bed. They lay on their backs gazing up at the ceiling.
"I'm sorry I got you involved in all this, Natsu." Gray looked serious, and Natsu didn't like it.
"I'm not," Natsu said and he meant it. "My mother died when I was young, my father left not long after the incident where I got my scar. I lost most of my friends after that too." Natsu turned on his side to look at Gray, and he did the same. "Seeing you walking around the library in your underwear was one of the best things to ever happen to me." Natsu laughed as he thought about that day. "You really did look ridiculous, what would you have done if one of those old ladies had seen you?"
"Run probably" Gray grinned, "Some of those old ladies can be downright vicious with their canes and umbrellas."
Natsu tried to imagine that, and he visualized Gray, in his underwear, running away from an old lady trying to whack him with her cane or better yet with her walker. He laughed so hard he almost rolled off the bed, but Gray caught him even as he also started laughing. Natsu saw he'd guessed right, Gray's real laugh was amazing, and he wanted to keep hearing it.
As their laughs wound down, they stared at each other, suddenly aware of how close they were and how little clothing they were wearing. They both looked away, not sure what to do next. Natsu knew what he wanted, but he also knew if he did somehow forget Gray, it would make it that much harder for him. So he contained his urge to kiss him. Instead, he lay on his back again and said, "Good night, princess."
Gray snorted, and before Natsu knew what was happening, Gray was on top of him, and his face was very close to his, tantalizingly so. "I'm no one's princess, sweetheart," he growled.
Natsu's heart was beating very fast at the sudden proximity, and he could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. To his chagrin, Gray looked delighted by the reaction he had elicited. He leaned in closer and closer, and Natsu was trying to decide how far to let the kiss go when he felt a peck on his cheek. "Good night."
"You asshole!" Natsu complained as Gray rolled off him and lay back down on his side. "You're such a fucking tease!"
"You asked for it," Gray smirked at him, and his hand darted out to move some of Natsu's hair behind his ear. "I do want to do that with you, but I can't. If tomorrow you woke up and didn't see me or remember me, I couldn't take that."
Natsu knew he was right, that would be very unfair, Natsu wouldn't remember, but Gray would have to live with what could have been for the rest of his life. "Can I at least hold you?" Natsu asked, and Gray answered by putting his head on Natsu's chest and wrapping himself around Natsu's body.
Soon Gray fell asleep, and Natsu listened to the soft snores that filled up the room. He smiled when he felt the little puffs of warm air across his chest from Gray's breathing. There might have been some drool. God, he hoped so! He would love nothing more than to tease Gray about it in the morning. He looked so relaxed cuddled up with Natsu, and it made him realize that this might be the first real affection Gray had known since his parents died. Natsu's heart did painful flip-floppy things at that thought.
When Gray had mentioned the possibility that Natsu might not see him once he woke up, he'd decided to stay up. He figured if he never went to sleep he wouldn't be able to forget. Natsu knew he couldn't keep that up indefinitely, so his time to try to come up with a solution was limited. He'd never felt this strongly about anyone before, and the thought that he might lose him soon was devastating. He spent all night watching Gray sleep and thinking about his theory.
o-o
Gray had insisted on walking him to school. He had not been too pleased to see the apparent lack of sleep in Natsu's eyes. He'd made a large pot of coffee and had made Natsu drink plenty of it while he made breakfast. Gray watched as Natsu walked inside the building and then walked off to do whatever it was he did during the day.
Natsu waited until Gray was no longer visible before he opened the school door and ran all the way home. He was tired, but no less determined to put his plan into action.
He could still remember how wonderful it had felt to hold Gray in his arms as he'd slept cuddled up to him all night. There had to be a way to keep Gray from disappearing, and Natsu was determined to find it. He was a fighter, and he would not give Gray up without doing everything in his power to keep him.
He opened the door of his house and ran into his bedroom. He fumbled around for writing supplies, and when Wendy entered his room to ask what was going on, he shoved her out and closed the door behind her.
He found an empty notebook and a pen and began to write a note to himself, in case he ever managed to forget. Natsu wrote everything he could remember, from the first moment he'd seen Gray at the library to everything he'd felt the previous night. He wrote down everything Gray had said about how he thought it had all started as well as Natsu's suspicion that it had something to do with Gray wishing he could disappear. He hoped his future self would take this seriously because he was betting an awful lot on him.
Natsu wasn't sure if not sleeping had anything to do with it or not but he wasn't about to risk it, he added it into the notebook as well. He would stay awake for as long as he could. He needed to get everything down.
He booted up his laptop and waited for it to load, opening a browser window and entering a few searches, but none of the results he got were promising. He'd have to go to the library. He grabbed the notebook and took it with him in case he was able to find something that would help.
As he was nearing the library, he noticed Gray, once again walking around in his underwear, trying to be seen by anyone. Natsu stood where he was and watched, hoping against hope that someone would see Gray and call him a pervert or even ogle him because that would mean that someone else could see him. But no one did. Disappointed, Natsu walked the rest of the distance to the library and spent his afternoon researching shooting stars, wishes and theories of existence.
On the way home, he stopped at a convenience store and bought an assortment of energy drinks and pills designed to keep him awake. He spent the rest of the night reading through books he had borrowed from the library, probably for the first time in his life they weren't mangas.
Anything that he thought could help, he wrote down in the notebook. Stories of Norse Gods, Greek Myths and Christian Saints that had been suggested by the librarian were read and jotted down, but ultimately tossed aside as being too unlikely. He threw the books on the floor in frustration. There had to be something, dammit!
He started reading the philosophy books, trying to understand theories of existence but he was too tired to really make any heads or tails out of any of them.
He opened up his phone and looked at the pictures Wendy had taken. He added that to the notebook as well. Look at the pictures on your phone.
Looking at his watch, he saw it was still only six o'clock in the morning. He made himself and Wendy breakfast and drank lots of coffee. He was starting to feel jittery, but he didn't care. The library would open in an hour or so, and he could look for more books. Maybe some Philosophy for Dummies or something.
He took a cold shower to help him be more alert and headed out, arms full of books to return. He stood outside the library and waited for it to open, too tired to feel the eyes that were paying close attention to him. More books, more notes and still nothing to show for his efforts. He left the library at closing with another pile of books he hadn't been able to get through. There were always more books, even if none of them helped.
He stopped at the convenience store once again and bought a new, bigger assortment of energy drinks and pills. He walked home and tried not to dwell on the complete and utter lack of progress he'd made. He thought he might be able to stay up another day or two.
"What are you doing, Natsu?" Natsu startled to hear his name, even more so to listen to the concern in the voice, he'd been thinking of something he'd read earlier.
"Gray!" Natsu greeted him happily. Gray grabbed the books from Natsu, peering at the titles before carrying them for him. He peered into the bag Natsu was holding but didn't comment on the contents. "I was just getting some snacks, gotta study for midterms."
He felt terrible about lying but technically it's what he should have been doing, he just hadn't been to school in a few days. Gray didn't say anything about the books or the drinks, just looked at him with that unreadable expression he sometimes had before settling next to him. They walked home together.
As soon as they entered the apartment, Gray entered Natsu's bedroom and dropped the books on his desk. Natsu could see him examining the mess of wadded up pieces of paper and books that were strewn about, His backpack sat on his bed unopened, a dead giveaway to his lie. Gray turned to look at him once again, remaining silent as he stared at Natsu. "What's the matter? Natsu asked, "You're making me nervous."
Gray smiled at him, but Natsu felt like they'd gone backward. It most definitely did not reach his eyes. "You look hungry, do you want me to fix you something while you study?"
"Sure, thanks," Natsu said, not sure what to do or how much to tell Gray about what he was doing. Wendy came out of her room, and Natsu watched with hope as she neared Gray, but she walked around him and straight towards Natsu.
"You look terrible." Wendy fussed over him, "When was the last time you slept?"
Natsu tried to shrug it off, "I'm fine, just getting ready for exams."
"You're lying, you didn't go to school again today, they called." Wendy frowned as she viewed the mess littering the usually tidy room, "What are you up to in here?"
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gray head towards the kitchen, and he didn't think much of it. He brought his attention back to Wendy. "I'm fine, Wendy." He pointed at the books that had been placed neatly on his desk. "Just a lot of studying to do."
Wendy didn't look very convinced, but she left him alone for the moment. A few minutes later she called out, "Thanks for making dinner!"
Natsu was confused for a moment until he remembered Gray was there and he started to laugh, imagining how annoyed Gray must be at having to start over. He wasn't disappointed, Gray walked into his room ten minutes later looking incredibly grumpy. He balanced a tray he'd found in the kitchen. Gray placed a plate of sandwiches and a teacup filled with a steaming yellow-orangey liquid in it. He carefully put the tray on Natsu's bed and sat down on the floor. Gray gestured for Natsu to sit across from him and handed him the food and drink. He watched as Natsu finished everything he'd prepared for him.
They sat in silence for a while, and Gray grabbed Natsu's hand and placed it in his. He looked at their intertwined fingers, and Natsu began to get a bad feeling, he was starting to feel drowsy, and he looked down at the teacup he was holding with a puzzled expression. He'd thought it had smelled familiar. It was one of his father's sleep aids. He looked up at Gray, feeling both betrayed and panicked. He looked around for his bag from the convenience store, but Gray had moved it next to him while Natsu had been eating.
"I know what you're trying to do, and I appreciate it. I really do." Gray reached out with his hand and touched Natsu's cheek with this thumb. "No one has ever gone this far for me before."
Natsu started to protest, but Gray shushed him. "You can't keep doing this to yourself, Natsu. This isn't what I want."
Natsu found it hard to keep his eyes open. He could hear Gray moving around his room and tried to focus on what was happening. He felt strong arms pulling him up and undressing him until he was down to his boxers and then he was in his bed.
"I'm sorry," Gray whispered before moving away. Natsu grabbed his arm before he could get too far away.
"Don't go." Natsu pleaded, "At least stay with me 'til I fall asleep."
Gray sat down on the bed by his pillow and ran his fingers through Natsu's hair, sending him further into sleep. "Natsu?"
"Hmm?" Natsu replied already mostly gone.
"I changed my mind," Gray said, his voice quiet and broken.
Natsu fought his eyes open and saw something he wasn't expecting. Gray's face was covered in tears. He tried to sit up, but Gray wouldn't let him. Instead, he took his own clothes off and climbed into the bed. Natsu moved over to give him room. He lay on his side and tried to wipe the tears off the other's face.
"I want to kiss you. I don't care anymore." Gray sobbed, "I'd rather have the memory."
"Shh. I won't forget you." Natsu pulled Gray towards him and held him in his arms, "I've written everything down." He wanted to tell Gray he was in love with him but opted to kiss him on the head instead. This was not the time for confessions. It was the time to find comfort in each other. "I'll always come for you. I promise."
"I'll hold you to that." Gray sniffled, and Natsu grunted in response, too drowsy to manage anything more. He fell asleep quickly, surrounded by the warmth of Gray's embrace and the cool peppermint smell of Gray's shampoo.
o-o
Natsu awoke to the incessant beeping of his alarm. His room was bright, and he felt very rested. He sat up in his bed and stopped mid-stretch as he noticed the enormous mess. There were library books everywhere and lots of wadded up pieces of paper on the floor. He decided to figure out what that was about later.
He got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. The front door opened and closed, but he didn't think much of it. Wendy must be getting the morning paper. She liked to look at the comics page.
He took a nice long shower and got himself ready for school. Since he had some time to spare, he found a garbage bag and began to pick up the mess in his room. Once all the papers had been collected he grabbed all the library books and looked at the titles with interest. He had no recollection of checking them out, but since he didn't need them anymore, he might as well return them.
Wendy walked into Natsu's room and looked around. "Are you done with your project?"
"Project?" Natsu tilted his head at her then looked around, trying to figure out what she was talking about.
"Yeah, you were taking notes in that notebook." Wendy pointed to the nightstand, where there was indeed a notebook. It lay open to the last page with a pen set diagonally on top. Natsu quickly grabbed it and opened it to the first page."
I know that the things written in this notebook will be hard for you to believe but it is all true, and you must read it through all the way to the end. If you don't, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Please don't fail me, your happiness depends on what you do after you read this.
Natsu reread the words, not quite sure what to make of them. He looked at his watch, he still had some time.
You first saw him at the library wearing only his underwear. You thought it was strange that no one seemed to see him but you. He came over and talked to you. He introduced himself as . He told you it was nice to be seen again and walked away. You couldn't get him out of your mind, and you were so glad to see him again the next day....
Natsu continued to read, all thoughts of going to school gone as every page he read was more unbelievable than the previous one. He recognized his handwriting, but he couldn't remember any of the events that he had written about, at least not as they were written. Could this be some sort of prank? Did he even know anyone who could pull off something this elaborate?
Look at the pictures on your phone.
Natsu grabbed his phone off the charger and swiped the screen to get to his pictures. The last two that were in his gallery had been received from Wendy's phone. One was a picture of him standing in his room, the other had him and Wendy with their arms around each other but their pose looked awkward, there was too much distance between them, almost like there should be someone else in there... He stared at the picture for a few minutes but could not make any sense of it.
He put his phone down and continued to read, after another hour he set it down. He sat down on his bed, his head swimming from everything he had learned. Was it possible?
He lay down, putting his arms behind his head and staring up at his ceiling. He was soon distracted by a smell that he did not associate with his room. It was a peppermint smell, and it seemed to linger on his bed. It didn't smell like any of his bath products. Wendy? He went to the bathroom and checked all of her products. They were all fruity.
He thought about the smell again and hurried back to his bed. He grabbed his pillow and put it close to his nose. It was strongest there, and Natsu felt like the smell seemed almost familiar? He closed his eyes and tried to think of what it reminded him of. For a second he thought he saw something, it was blurry, almost like an outline, but there was someone. A man with dark hair and pale skin, but he couldn't make out any features.
He tried to concentrate, to make the features clearer, but no matter how hard he worked, it eluded him. He looked through the notebook again. He must have left some other clues.
Natsu scratched his head, if the notebook were all he had to go on, he'd just have to revisit all the places that he'd written about and hope that something clicked.
He looked at his watch, he was already very late for school. Screw it! One more day wouldn't hurt anything. The last entry in the notebook was dated yesterday, and he felt it was essential he follow this now before he had a chance to convince himself it wasn't real.
First stop was the library, so he grabbed all the books and headed over to return them. Once he'd placed them through the return slot, he entered the main room. He did remember coming with Lucy the previous week. He remembered looking at manga but then nothing. He and Lucy had left.
He felt stupid, he was on a fool's errand. All this talk of a famous guy that could only be seen by him. It was ridiculous, wasn't it? He looked at the first page of the notebook again.
Please don't fail me, your happiness depends on what you do after you read it.
That didn't even sound like something he'd say. Natsu was not usually one for those types of declarations, but there was no denying it. That was his handwriting, those were his words.
He had a thought and went over to the computers taking his library card out for the IR scanner. Once the browser came up, he plugged in a search for Juvia Lockser.
There were plenty of articles announcing her unexpected death, but none mentioned how she had died. He had expected that though, his friend had said that her parents had covered it up. There were photos of her funeral and then her IMDB entries. Natsu followed those to see if he could happen upon this mystery person, but just like in the notebook, the name was missing and so were any pictures.
Natsu groaned, he wasn't any closer to a name or a face. How could someone disappear so entirely that even their internet existence was unavailable? Disappointed, he decided to continue on to the next place. He walked over to the train station, but nothing there clicked with him either.
He stopped at one of the concessions and bought some food, deciding to buy extra, just in case. The notebook had mentioned that his invisible friend had trouble getting food since no one could see or hear him. If he found him, no, when he found him, he would share the food. There was nothing wrong with being optimistic.
He'd skip going to his house since he'd come from there and had only found the scent on his pillow. He couldn't go to their home since he forgot to write down the address. That left just the park and the supermarket.
The park seemed like his best bet, after all, it sounded like they had spent a lot of time there. He decided to walk, instead of taking the train, using the time to think about some of the other notes. The ones that talked about wishes. He found a bench and set the bag of food down next to him. Grabbing one of the pastries he'd bought he ate while looking through the pages that talked about the time they'd spent there.
Where had they sat? It sounded like they had been on the grass but where? He went to grab another pastry only to find the bag missing. What the hell? He looked down to see if he had somehow dropped it, but the bag had just disappeared. Damnit, he'd been hungry too!
He thought he caught the smell of peppermint in the air, but figured it was just his mind playing tricks on him. He wanted to find this person so desperately that he was starting to imagine things. The smell brought with it a sense of longing and sadness. Someone dear to him had been taken from him, and even though he couldn't quite remember him, he could still feel the loss.
He brought out his phone and looked at the odd picture of him and Wendy, he tried to visualize that blurry outline from earlier standing in between them, he knew they had dark hair, pale skin, dark blue eyes. What else? A matching scar on his hip. Natsu closed his eyes and tried to add those features in, but it didn't help.
It started to get dark, and Natsu noticed that lots of people were showing up with blankets and setting up in the grassy field. Kids were running around, and Natsu watched for a bit, enjoying the sounds of giggles as the kids played. He stopped a family that was walking past him.
"Excuse me, can you tell me what's going on?"
"We're here for the meteor shower!" A young girl told him before the parents could answer him, "I'm going to make a wish on a shooting star. Mommy said there were going to be lots!"
Her parents beamed at the little girl and continued walking towards the field to find a good spot.
A meteor shower! Natsu felt the excitement in the air, and it was contagious, it seemed like fate that he'd happen to be at the park right as a meteor shower was about to happen. He'd never seen a shooting star, and he desperately wanted to believe that if he put all of his heart and soul into his wish, it would come true.
He heard the delighted squeals of the children and looked up. Pinpoints of light had begun to streak across the night sky. The shower was starting! He felt awe at the natural beauty of the moment, but it was soon replaced by a sense of urgency. He didn't know how long the shower would last. If he was going to do this, he needed to get started.
How did the rhyme go? He furrowed his brow as he tried to remember, he played with the words until they felt right. The smell of peppermint grew stronger as the wind picked up and he felt a rush of air brush against his fingers.
Starlight, star bright,
First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have this wish I wish tonight.
Bring him back to me.
He closed his eyes and recited the words in his head over and over, with the fervor of a prayer. When he was done, he could feel a hand intertwined with his, and he dared to hope. He opened his eyes and looked at the person standing next to him.
Natsu couldn't contain his excitement as he realized he knew the person's name. Gray Fullbuster, famous actor, overall pain in the ass and also the man he loved. He stared, afraid that if he moved Gray would disappear again. Instead, he squeezed his hand and said, "I can see you."
"You can see me?" Gray asked cautiously.
"Gray!" Natsu yelled, letting go of Gray's hand and wrapping him in a tight hug instead. "I can see you again!"
They both laughed and jumped up and down like idiots, attracting the attention of others around them. When they finally stopped, Natsu saw that Gray was looking at him with a gleam in his eyes and Natsu's heart raced in anticipation. He'd seen that look before, and he was a little nervous, he knew Gray had kissed many people before, but Natsu didn't exactly have a lot of experience. He closed his eyes and tilted his head in anticipation and Gray did not disappoint him.
Firm lips pressed themselves against his own, Natsu felt a hand tugging on his shirt pulling him closer to Gray, while an arm wrapped itself around his waist. Natsu found himself surrounded by warmth and he leaned into it. There were no demands, no push to go any further. A pleasant tingle started at his lips as the feelings that had developed between them throughout their strange adventure spread to every one of his nerve endings. For now, that was more than enough.
They separated somewhat reluctantly. "I've wanted to do that for a while," Gray smiled at Natsu as he darted his tongue over his lips to moisten them.
"Me too," Natsu admitted. He started at Gray for a moment and asked, "How did you even end up here?"
"When I left your house this morning I was pretty upset, but as I was walking home I heard people saying there was a meteor shower tonight," Gray admitted with a shy smile, "You'd said that you thought my problem had to do with wishes, so I figured it couldn't hurt to give it a try."
"When I got to the park, you were already here so I tried everything I could think of to get your attention," Gray tried to look innocent, but failed miserably. "Finally, I did the one thing I thought would get your attention, but you barely even seemed to notice."
Natsu began to hear murmurs from the people around them.
Hey isn't that guy from the movies?
Yeah didn't he used to date that girl that died?
Did he just kiss that guy?
Oh my god, oh my god, that's Gray Fullbuster, do you think he'd take a picture with me?
That can't be him, what would he be doing here?
"I think they can see you too." Natsu grinned triumphantly.
"We should go before they get up the nerve to come over to talk to us." Gray seemed a tad nervous as he pulled Natsu's arm and dragged him out of the park.
"Are you sure you didn't want to let them adore you just a little?" Natsu teased.
"God no." Gray shuddered, "I hate that stuff."
They both heard the sound of squeals as a group of girls began to yell Gray's name. Natsu and Gray started to run, and the girls gave chase.
"Was it always like this?" Natsu complained, annoyed that their reunion had somehow turned into this.
"No, sometimes it's worse." Gray grumbled, "Hurry."
Natsu ran faster, but his stomach was rumbling, he hadn't eaten very much, and even though he'd bought tons of food it had disappeared and -- Oh...Oh!
"Wait a minute...You bastard!" Natsu yelled in outrage, "You stole my food, didn't you?"
Gray's laugh sounded so carefree that Natsu almost forgave him for his transgression, almost. "I told you, I did everything I could think of to get your attention. Besides you couldn't possibly have eaten all of it on your own."
Gray ran faster, avoiding Natsu's attempts to catch him.
"Come back here, you food thief!" Natsu waved his arms in the air in mock threat, enjoying himself even if he was running away from a gaggle of fangirls chasing after his boyfriend. And if he got his hands on Gray first... well, Natsu thought he might just kiss him until the world itself disappeared.
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