NOTE : this chapter contains in depth analyses about some naruto characters, so buckle up lmao

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Naruto : lowkey a sociopath

Sasuke : in reality he was just mad itachi killed the clan cat. HOW DARE HE

Sakura : a simp for sasuke. This woman would have a whole orgasm if sasuke stepped on her that's the only valid reason she'd still be thirsting after the uchibooty after he tried to kill her multiple times

Kakashi : ass man. Everyone thinks he wants his dead friends and father back and sees team 7 as family– but no that man just really wants ass and keeps getting lumped with all them feelingz shit. Give this man sum ass pls he's tired

Hinata : secretly has a fetish for fox furries.

Neji : he mad bc he daddy dead lMAO. Now he dead too so it's ait.

Lee and gai : this whole youth thing is actually a cult for anti aging and Tsunade's the cult leader. Das also where they be hiding them uzumakis 👁️👁️

Shikamaru : he's not lazy he just wants to watch the world burn

Ino : she's like, super gay for sakura and be thirsting for that kitty but alas all she got was sum pale sai beercan 🍆😔

Chouji : he's not fat konohans just don't know how to eat

Shino : who tf is that

Tenten : is actually Tonton

Obito : was practicing  for his audition at the circus 🤡🤡🤡

Itachi : they paid him HELLA DOUGH to murder his clan and itachi all bout dem papers. fuck dem bitches he didn't choose the thug life the thug life chose him.

Kaguya : she was just super hungry. Dem human bitches be feeding her dust. Girlie needed to EAT lmao

Indra : the man just wanted his inheritance money why hagoromo gotta do him dirty like that

Ashura : a pimp with baby mamas everywhere. How do you think the Uzumaki clan came along? Sharpshooter thingz

Orichimaru : he's horny lol.

Kabuto : he was horny for orichimaru but orichimaru was too busy pedo-ing after sasook ; - ; pls give kabuto dat snake orichimaru

Kurenai : to this day wonders why she ever got preggo for asuma. Should've thirsted for itachi smh now her baby ugly🙄

Nagato : he need sum milk

Sasori : no one wanted to have sex with him so he said necrophilia but in puppetry nOICE

Kisame : his existential crisis is due to the sole fact that he hates fish

Killer Bee : mans was supposed to drop his album but then the war just HAD to happen 🙄 fuck you obito

Kurama : his cage smells like pee and he wants OUT

Jiraiya : left the village bc he didn't want anyone to find out he almost fucked a village elder 😔

Danzou : he's an artsy person das why he got all dem eye tattoos 👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️ also i think he like, kinda hates the uchiha a little. Lol idk 🤭

Kushina : wondering when Kurama fucked her bc where tf naruto's whiskers come from

Minato : highkey a psychopath. runs in the family uwu

Karin : she only wears glasses so people don't fall hopelessly in love with her like duh

Suigetsu : secretly wants sasuke to order him around but in bed 🍆 been thirsting for that uchiha sausage

Juugo : his mother's a bird. tweet tweet motherfuckers

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That's all for my in depth character analysis. I wanted to write more but i was afraid you'd get too bored with my totally analytical analyses👁️👁️