WARNING: there will be depression/suicidal triggers in here, if you don't like I recommend you don't read.

You were In your room alone on your bed looking at the ceiling, your mind was clouded with negative thoughts of yourself.

You looked up as your eyes were dull just listing to your thoughts,

" Ugly "

" Freak "

" Worthless "

" Whore "

" Slut "

" Piece of trash just die already "

" Piece of shit "

" Your so ugly who could ever love you "

" No one likes you, why don't you all just do us a favor and die already "

You didn't even realize that you had started to cry, you turn to your side and started to cry hugging yourself.

You were crying, sobbing wanting the thoughts to go away, you then heard your phone ring you looked up, you were afraid to grab your phone.

" What if it was one of them? "

You though you didn't want to read another one of there hurtful comments or text, you hesitated but decided to cheek it either way.

From: shisui 😘

Hey beautiful how are you doing?, Just wanted to let you know the subway is taking forever. So I'd probably take me a while to get to your house, wanted to let you know. Love ya lots of hugs and kisses
😘😘💖💖

You smile to yourself while reading shisui text, see you and shisui are going out, he had been one of the Scholl's most popular boys.

So one day when he took notice of you it shocked you, and that he wanted to hang out with you, and when he asked you out it shocked you.

But hanging out with him was amazing it took you away from the measurable life you live, you were someone who people saw easy to pick on.

You also struggled from depression from a young age, and hanging out with shisui made you forget about everything just a little while, so when he asked you out you were so happy.

You obviously said yes, but dating a popular kid comes with a price, you got picked on a lot more, because everyone else though he deserves better especially the popular girls.

So you constantly would be getting text from random numbers saying hurtful things, and on social media it was worse.

You were being cyberbullied by lot's of people that you lost count, if you were to post something people would start communicating hurtful rude things, you'd also be getting messages from people telling you awful hurtful things.

Of course your dear boyfriend wasn't aware of any of this, for the popular girls said if you told him, they'd do something terrible to him.

And you weren't going to take that chance, and as for your social media shisui wasn't all to into that, and if he see lots of notifications on your phone from social media, you'd lie and tell him just people commenting how cute you looked, or how cute you guys looked in a picture, or friends just messaging you.

Shisui would by it and won't question it much further, and you were glad  for you didn't want him to worry about it, you just wanted to see him happy with that smile of his.

For whenever he gave you that smile you'd always be happy, his happiness was all you cared about, so if it meant you be getting hurt.

You were willing to handle that all, for all he needed to know was you were happy, and that's all.

But lately the bulling was getting worse, you'd be getting notes passed to your desk saying hurtful things, and notes in your locker saying mean things.

And wherever you turned they were there, waiting to make your day a living nightmare, and the texts have gotten worse, and let's not even start on social media.

You were constantly having these hateful thoughts in your head, usually you'd be talking to shisui, or he'd be over hanging out.

But right now he was on the subway and the signal gets cut off, so you were alone having these thoughts swirl around in your head.

You gripped your hair trying to make them go away, but I'd only get much worse, you couldn't take it anymore and decided to distract yourself with something.

So you shakly got up and started to walk to your bathroom in your room, you lived alone for your mom was constantly traveling around for her job.

Your dad had died when you were five, he was in a car accident that killed him, your mother would send you money each month enough for expensives.

You walked to the bathroom and turned on the light, you look at yourself in the mirror, your hair was messy your eyes were red and puffy from crying, you looked kinda pale.

You opened one of the draws in the bathroom and saw your pack of razors, you grabbed it and got one out, and you looked at it a while, you  put the razors back and just stood there looking at the razor.

You pulled your long sleeve down from your right arm and looked at your previous scares, your arm had lots of cuts on it some new some old.

You looked at your arm and brought the razor to your arm and made a cut, it stung but it felt oh so good, you made another.

And soon enough two cuts turned to four, eight, ten to twenty, and you did the same to your left arm.

There you were leaned against the wall with a razor in your right hand, with cuts all over your arms, but the voices wouldn't get out of your head.

They were still there telling you to do more, to cut deeper faster, to end your life you didn't want to give in, but you were desperate to get away, shisui wasn't there to pull you out of it.

He left you alone he dosen't want you, he never wanted you, your just a toy for him to play around with.

Yeah that's right just a toy, to play around with until he gets bored and tosses you to the side, and forget you.

That must be it why else would he talked to you, because your pretty yeah right, you knew none of this was true.

But you mind was just making things up, you didn't want to believe it, but you couldn't help but wonder if it was true.

You didn't want it to be true, you couldn't help yourself you didn't want to believe it, you don't want to be hurt, but your just a useless person.

A good for nothing just a wast of air, so you looked at your wrist and saw it was cut but you wanted it to be deeper, you got the razor.

With a shaky hand and tears stating to blur your vision, with your right arm you dug the razor deep into your left wrist.

It hurts but I'll be all over soon, and you being to deep in your own little world, didn't hear the front door open and shisui call out your name.

" (Y/n)! "

When he didn't hear you respond, he was confused he went walking around the house looking for you, when he was getting closer to your room he heard crying.

" (Y/n)? "

He thought he made his way quickly to your room, and opened it but didn't see you inside, but when he turned around to look in the restroom, he was horrified with what he saw.

He saw you on the ground your hair covering your face, with you crying with your long sleeve shirt pulled up, with cuts on your wrist, with your left wrist cut badly.

" (Y/n)! "

You turned and looked at him, he had a horrified and scared expression on his face, he ran over to you.

He ran to you and you saw he had tears in his eyes, and what he said next made you want to break down and cry right there and then.

" (Y/n) why would you do this!!, I'm here for you to talk to, is that enough for you!! "

You teared up and started to cry, shisui held you in his arms, he hugged you tightly against him.

" Why would you do it? "

" It's just it's all getting to me, the bulling it's getting to me "

" Bulling? "

You had just realized you spilled the beans, ( and it was at this moment, (y/n) knew she fucked up ).

" (Y/n) what's going on? "

" A lot I don't even know where to start "

" Well that's ok I'll be here for you, but right now we need to wrap up those cuts of yours "

You nod he pulls back and whip away your tears, with his thumb and smiles at you.

" Where's your first aid kit? "

" Under the skin "

You point to the sink, he opens the cabinet door and See's it, he grabs it and opens it.

He pulls out some alcohol wipes, he opens one and grabs your left arm.

" This might sting a little "

He puts the wipe on your wrist, you hiss and grab his wrist.

" I'm sorry (y/n) I'll try not to make it hurt as much, how about I sing you your favorite song "

You nod and he starts to sing your favorite song, you always loved how he sang.

His voice was snoozing and clam, the way he looked at peace didn't help either.

While singing to you he whipes your cuts and wrapped them up, when he finished he looked at your arms.

" There all patched up "

You see him smiling at you warmly, you feel guilty for what you just did and looked away.

" I'm sorry shisui I didn't mean to worry you like that, but they were telling me to do it "

He looked a little sad and placed his left hand on yours, and placed his right hand on your cheek, and titled your head up so you could be looking at him.

" Who was telling you love? "

" People and the voices in my head, they won't stop, they won't stop "

You started to tear up a little, he pulled you into a hug, he felt so warm and you felt safe around him.

" It's ok (y/n), why don't you just tell me what's wrong, it dosen't matter if it's takes all day, I'll be here for you no matter what "

You teared up and hugged him back tightly not wanting him to go, and so you told him everything.

He sat there holding you against him, hearing the horrible things that people said and did to you.

He was angry people did that, but he'd take care of that later, right now he was listening to you and your problems.

When you started to tear up and say everything was true, he'd only tell you it's not.

He would run his fingers through your (h/l) (h/c), and tell you comforting words, and you let him hug you hold you.

Tell you these words you let all your worries free and shared them with him, and in response he told you everything was ok.

But then he said something, something that no one told you, and something you've always wanted to be told.

" It's ok (y/n) it's not your fault, but please don't keep things like this a secret from me "

There they were the words you've been dying to hear.

It's not your fault

That's all you ever wanted to be told, it wasn't your fault, and to be hugged.

You only hugged him tighter and burned your face into his chest.

" Thank you shisui that's all I always wanted to hear "

" No problem (y/n), I love you (y/n) don't forget that "

You smiled and looked up at him, to see him looking at you warmly, with that smile of his.

" I love you too shisui, I promise to trust you more "

His smile grows and your faces were inches apart, he decided to close the gap and kiss you.

It was a short kiss but it was filled with so much love, you look at each other, and stayed in each other's arms.

Author notes:

Hey it's author-chan thanks for reading, so I honestly hate this chapter but yeah, I felt it kinda stated to see a little bit after halfway.  But I already wrote this and decided to upload this, tell me what you think and yeah. Also if you didn't notice I switched up my writing style a little, tell me what you think and if you'd prefer me to write like this.  Anyways that's all I have to say, request are still open so just leave a comment or message me, have a wonderful night/day, author-chan out.
~ pikatachi 🤗