AN: This is a bit of a crack

Sakura bangs on Naruto's door. She heard that Sasuke was spotted somewhere outside the village. This is her chance to get her love back. Now she did the baka to fulfill his promise.

"Open up you baka." Sakura screeched. Naruto opened the door and caught the fist to the face with his hand. Sakura is shocked that the dobe caught her punch.

"Are you here to buy some weed?" Naruto asked. Sakura gave him a WTF look.

"No, I'm not here for that." Sakura said.

"You sure? It's good weeds." Naruto said. Sakura looks at him deadpan and tries to punch him again. Only Naruto dodged, then judo flipped her to the ground.

"Guess that a no on the weed then." Naruto said. 

"Sakura, did you get Naruto to agree on the mission yet?" Ino asked, walking in.

"Hey Ino, here to buy some weed?" Naruto asked. Ino gave a weird look.

"No?" Ino said, weird out by the question

"You sure it's good weed." Naruto said. Ino looks like she is thinking about it.

"Maybe, later." Ino said. Sakura gave them both a disbelieving look. "What, if you deal with shika and choji like I have then you want some too.  I'm still pissed at shikamaru for talking me into fighting two akatsuki members."

"I thought you wanted to avenge Asuma's death?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah, but not after his funeral. He almost got fucking killed if you didn't show up." Ino said. After grieving, Ino had a hard time not beating the living shit out of Shikamaru. What were they thinking they could have gotten killed, some genius.

"Yeah bachan was pissed at that. Sure she was pissed at me for the rasenshuriken. but you guys left the village without permission. Hell, Kakashi was demoted to chasing Tora for the rest of life. Because he let you guys leave even if it was a good reason still." Naruto said. He talks Tsunade out of punishing Choji and Ino since it was Shikamaru's idea and he talks them into it.

"HEY YOU TWO." Sakura shouted, annoyed. They turn to an annoyed Sakura.

"Change your mind about the weed?" Naruto asked. Sakura struggled not to hit him again. 

"Fuck the damn weed baka. Why do you sell that shit anyway?" Sakura asked annoyed

"Because a spoiled pink bitch and one eyed uchiha ass kisser lied to the hokage. Which fucked with my money." Naruto glared. Sakura looks at remembering she and Kakashi did lie to the late third hokage. "You told you and Sasuke did most of the work. Which is bullshit and you know it. Anyway, why are you here if not to buy weed?"

"Sasuke-kun was spotted near the fire country. I convinced lady Tsunade to go get him." Sakura explained. 

"What does that have to do with me?" Naruto asked.

"Your promise Naruto." Sakura reminds him.

"What promise?" Naruto asked, he promised something.

"You promise to bring back Sasuke-kun," Sakura said, desperate to hurry things up. Naruto tried to remember. All he remember was fighting the prick then get high with Kiba.....wait a minute. Naruto walked to the window.

"KIBA YOU DOG FUCKING PEICE OF SHIT. I TOLD YOU THOSE MUSHROOMS ARE BAD. NEXT TIME I SEE YOU I RIPPED YOUR DICK AND FEED IT TO THE WOLVES." Naruto shouted. The two girls are confused. "Kiba found some mushrooms and asked me to cook them. My gut told me something was wrong but Kiba brushed it off. So we ate them and it turned out they were Psilocybin mushrooms. Hallucinated mushroom so me and him were high as fucked. The kiba that was in the retrieval mission was his sister hana. Look, whatever I said I was high as shit."

"But you promised me to bring sasuke." Sakura screeched.

"Fuck sasuke, that spoiled gay jutsu stealing prick is a traitor. Fuck him I have better thing to worried about than that dick." Naruto said. 

"You promised." She said hysterical

"I was High. A promise only counts if someone truly means it. Sakura I was fucking high. So I don't mean it and I'm not gonna keep it. I have hated Sasuke ever since we were kids. He was the most spoiled, self center, piece of shit. Look I did felt bad about losing his family and I did try to be nice. Tried to be his friend. It was him who rejected it. Being a bastard about it." Naruto said.

"He lost his family, you Baka." Sakura said, angrily.

"I KNOW I HEARD 100 FUCKING TIMES AND GUESS WHAT I STOPPED GIVING A FUCKED. Sakura like I told Inari back in the wave. There are people who have it way worse. There are a whole bunch of orphans here in the village. But none of the people give a shit about them, only that whining little bitch. To me Sasuke hasn't suffered." Naruto said, shocking the two girls.

"How could you say that he watched his family get killed." Sakura was going to kill Naruto. 

"One: sasuke didn't shit except dead bodies. Two: we don't truly know if Itachi actually did it."

"What do you mean?" Ino asked.

"I have a theory. What if Itachi was framed and tried to stop his idiot brother from being killed." Naruto said.

"Huh?" They asked

"Ok, you came across a very powerful ninja that manage to killed the entire clan over one fucking night. Your sibling sees you standing over your two dead parents. They ask you, did you kill our parents? Now you have a choice you either A: tell them the truth and they will get revenge on the guy they might get killed. Or B: lie and say you did it to motivate them to kill you. If they kill you then they can kill the real killer."

"The truth duh you baka. If they went after him then it their fault for being stupid. But that is not the case you're gonna keep your promise or else." Sakura threatens, she raises a fist. Naruto is not threatened because Sakura has been slacking off with her training.

"Or else what you weak flat chested bitch. Sakura I told you I have better thing to worry about then some spoiled fuck boy." Naruto said, dodging a punch then tripped Sakura which made her hit her head on the table corner causing it to bleed.

"Fuck, Sasuke is not spoiled nor he a fuckboy." Sakura said, trying to heal her wound.

"He orochimaru's otherwise why would go their." Naruto said.

"The curse seal was messing with his mind." She shrieked.

"Then why the fuck is he a ninja. If that is the case his ass should have been mind checked. Or maybe you and Kakashi told me about the fucking seal. Or wait here my favorite maybe should have listened to anko and the 3rd hokage. The one eyed pervert was too damn stubborn and he wanted to show off his star student. If Kakashi just listened to them and not the prick, maybe Sasuke wouldn't have left. As not being spoiled, Sakura that prick got everything he ever asked for low prices, a strong sensei, powerful jutsu, and private training.  If this whole fucking love his clan so much then why the fuck did they let die."

"What do you mean?" Ino asked.

"Ino there are a hundred ninja and anbu portaling the village. Are telling me neither of them heard any screaming or check out the commotion at the uchiha district. I heard that shit and I was two blocks from there and now there is one left. Now the whole village is kissing his ass. So yeah Sasuke suffered that much. Sure his clan was killed. I do feel bad but he still gets special treatment. If for some reason that I brought the prick here would this village actually punish the bitch or like you Sakura are they just gonna blame the seal. Because I'm not gonna waste my time if he can just walk in here and just get slapped on the wrist. Unlike this village, my world does not involve around Sasuke. I have my own problem. So no I'm not going on the mission because I don't care about him or the damn promise. I make my promises to friends like hinata. You Sakura are not my friend neither is Sasuke we're just teammates of a toxic ass team. So get your ass out of my apartment before I toss you out the window." Naruto said, wanting to be over.

"but you pro-" Sakura was thrown out the window by Naruto.

"Annoying bitch." Naruto muttered. The door knocked.

"Naruto, you got anymore weeds, I'm out." 

"Coming Choji." Naruto said 

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