"I'm not heartless, am I?" You ask your grey haired lover as your windows shake at the strong wind slapping at it. Your dull eyes were boring themselves into Kakashi's. His throat shakes a bit at your words, so he gulps and shakes his head after. "Then why do I want him to die?" Kakashi grits his teeth at your words, noticing his jaw tremble a bit.

"I want him to die too." He says after a long silent pause.

You couldn't care less about the typhoon that was happening at the moment. Everything that had occurred yesterday has been replaying, over and over and over again. But your inside were at the point of being empty in this moment. Emotions right now should be all over the place, but that phase of emptiness is inevitable.

     Touching Kakashi was a need for you. Having his hand and fingers entangled in yours was what you were wishing for so much. But you knew well that anxiety would creep up, that green little monster that makes your heart pound so hard against your chest. Risking it was definitely an option.

     Scanning over Kakashi questionably, your arm began to reach out toward his angry figure. Angry at the man that barged into your home and did unspeakable things to you. "(Y/N)..." his shaky breath lets out. Causing you to stop in your tracks, hand being inches away from his face. Kakashi's eyes rise up to meet yours, but instead of anger clouding them, it was hurt. "As much as I'd like to feel your touch, it's too soon. You'll get a panic attack, and I know better than anyone that you don't want that."

     Now is that you realize the beat of your heart changing, being quick. You gulp down a hard knot at your throat before keeping your hand back to yourself. "It was worth a shot," was all you could say. Silence was creeping in between you two now. You couldn't tell if it was a comfortable or awkward one. You just knew that it was silence. Dead silence. For a bit of a while, at least. All that was sounding was the strong wind and hits of water banging at your windows.

     "You know what I've always wanted?" You say, prodding at your thoughts and picking at them. Your eyes were squinting as an edge of your mouth was poking away due to your tongue pushing it. In thought.

     Kakashi looks at you questionably, leaving all emotions back. Not realizing how much he desired some normal conversation. "A dog," you say. "Adopt a dog at the pound. Would you go with me to pick one? This apartment allows them."

     You eye at Kakashi normally, having a thoughtful face. As you do, the edges of his lips turn into a smile. "I have a dog of my own," he says. "A pug."

     His eyes fall into the distance, spacing out for a bit in thought. "He's a...thing. That one. Acts as if he were human. Even heard him talk once, I promise." A laugh erupts from you, knowing that Kakashi could've easily been on something when he thought he heard his dog speak. It was a noise that caught Kakashi's eyes in an instant. He probably thought he'd never hear the sound of your laugh again.

     "Hopefully I'll meet him once you leave school and we can go public..." you say. The sentence began with a smile on your face but once you were realizing what had been forgotten in a matter of a day or so, your eyes fall. And now you were beginning to wish you were feeling empty. So your sadness could be washed away.

     "I'm hungry," your words barely came out, almost as a whisper. Kakashi quickly stands and walks away slowly to calm your stomach down.

     "Snack or food?"

     "Snack."

      The loud wind is all that fills the silence that was creeping at the moment. Beautiful. Is how you'd sum it up. Hearing disaster was like feeding your ears something marvelous. You couldn't get enough of it. But small words were flaunting themselves in your mind.

     Kakashi is leaving school.

     And you just can't seem to be happy about it. Blinded at the fact that it's supposed to benefit you. Though thinking about this has brought realization to your mind. You'll just be searching for something negative out of something that's going to be good. Finding all of it's small faults. A knot forms in your throat as you look down at your bed.

     Somehow, the noise out your window wasn't permitting anxiety fill you. It was just far too calming and relaxing. You stand from your seat and walk towards the spot for you to see through the outside. Focusing on the trees refusing to fall to the ground. They were obviously struggling. But there was one, fairly medium tree that was already on the ground. A small smile shows itself upon your face.

     I'll save you little guy.

     Your fingers tap on the desk aside the window as you imagine yourself buying pieces of wood and rope to stand the tree back up.

     You don't have to stay down. Nothing has to stay down if you want to get up.

     The heart beneath your chest quickens it's beat at the thought. You knew yourself and humans well. This wasn't the end. But of course this deep hole you're in makes you think it is. And loneliness doesn't surround you as much as you want to embrace it. There's nothing to embrace. Except for the man that is feet away from you, preparing you a snack. You turn your steps toward Kakashi at the kitchen, feeling your motivation itch. As you stand in front of him, even with your whole body aching, you stand tall. Straightened back and dry face. You breathe deeply as he turns to you, surprised.

     "As long as I have your help, I'll be fine. Because you make me into a strong person that won't be forgotten because of this." Kakashi straightens as well at your words, with his dull eyes down on you. His body was towering over yours, making you feel a bit puny. But you wouldn't reveal it to him. Not after the words you just said.

     The look on his face is as if he's testing you, looking down trying to be demeaning. And if he wasn't your lover, you would actually believe it to be true. "Will you hug Naruto again in time?" He asks with his lips as straight as a line.

     "Yes," your voice doesn't falter.

     "Will you ever invite a person in to your apartment again?" Your heart aches at his words. Having anxiety fill in at the image. But you won't let this bring you down.

     "Yes."

     "Will you ever let me touch you again?" He now asks, his voice quavering a bit. You knew he was feeling uneasy about this. Not being able to comfort you with a hug for a bit of time.

     "Yes." Your eyes soften at him as you words did as well. But as you were about to speak again, he interrupts, becoming hard once again.

     "Will we fight this, somehow?" You paused at his words. Wondering if you actually were going to. Your eyes fall to the floor, pondering over this all. Reminding yourself of how Kakashi would do anything to meet this man and tear him apart on sight. Your chest was warm now, anger swelling up in you. Imagining the man that did horrific things to you in handcuffs. You take a deep breath before your tongue clicks. And you look up at Kakashi with eyes full of fury.

     "Yes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This whole situation over here is so frustrating. Doesn't even motivate me to write anymore sjejdifneodndk

- (AnimeFanficPlus)