Naruto's POV

   Shikamaru was over my house because we planned on hanging out today. We were currently sitting on my bed talking about random things. I was in the center with Sasuke and Shikamaru on both sides of me. Because Sasuke is naturally an asshole he would somehow distract me from Shikamaru in the middle of a deep conversation. Sasuke loved to see us get frustrated because Shikamaru would give him shit.

"Sasuke! Will you fucking leave already?! You're ruining our quality time together!"

"Relax, loser~ I'm just trying to have fun too~"

"Well, it's not fun for Naruto and I so why don't you just go back to your ghost town where you came from!"

"Damn~ ignorant much?~"

"I'm not being ignorant! I don't want you here! No one ever did!"

"Naruto does~ he wants me more than you~"

   I decided to chime in.

"Guys... Will you please just knock it off?"

   Shikamaru growled as Sasuke giggled.

"Whatever~"

   I could tell Sasuke was a bit pissed off but wasn't showing it.

   Sasuke's anger turned sinister as soon as I heard his belly rumble.

   I glanced over, seeing an obvious smirk on his face. I knew what was coming... But I was a bit nervous to see what was about to happen...

   I saw Sasuke lean to point his ass at me but was probably aiming at Shikamaru.

Ppppprrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrft!

   I blushed at the small moan he made after, Shikamaru in confusion.

   The scent hit me like a pile of bricks.

"Sasuke! Again?!"

   He giggled.

"What?~ it was just a fart~ calm down~"

   I groaned, Shikamaru catching a whiff of Sasuke's blast.

"Ho. Ly. Shit... That smells awful..."

   I sighed.

"One night he got really gassy and blew up my bed all night..."

"Wow... Sorry bro..."

"Nah... It's okay. I just never thought I'd find someone with worse gas than you!"

   Shikamaru seemed jealous... Of course Sasuke sensed it.

"What's wrong, Shikamaru?~ can't accept that my farts smell worse?~"

"No! It's just all of my life Naruto always said mine smelled the worst and I took pride in that... Why do you just fly in and ruin everything?!"

   Sasuke laughed evilly, seeming to really enjoy this.

"I'm an Uchiha, Shikamaru~ we naturally have bad gas~ you technically still have the worst farts for someone that's not an Uchiha~"

"I guess..."

"Hmm... Since we're on this topic~"

   Sasuke got up, walking over to Shikamaru. He tried to push him over but he fought back. I tried to push Sasuke away to attempt to help my comrade but every time Sasuke was losing, he would bite us. That shit hurts... I don't like when he bites down...

   Sasuke managed to get himself onto Shikamaru's face soon letting out everything inside.

Pppppprrrrrrrfffft! PppppppppRRRRRRRRRRRTTT! BRLLLMMMMMPHT! Brrrrrrfffffft! Puurt! Purt! Purrrrrrrrrrrrfffft!

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!~"

   Sasuke's tongue rolled out of his mouth as he let every last stinky rip onto Shikamaru's face.

"That's for kneeing me in the ass, loser!"

   The smell was killing me... I was surprised that Shikamaru was still awake, let alone alive after all that...

"Hehehe~ if you piss me off again I swear next time your mouth will be my toilet~ understand?~"

   Sasuke got off of Shikamaru to hear his answer.

   Shikamaru nodded frantically.

"Alright~ remember~ next time you piss me off~ there will be a long turd down your throat~"

   I shuddered at the thought as Sasuke giggled.

"Anyway... I'm going to get rid of my waste the normal way this time... Continue talking~"

   Sasuke left as I tended to Shikamaru.

"Damn... I'm so sorry, Shikamaru... I tried to help you... But... His bites got to me... I'm really sorry..."

"Meh... It's alright... I enjoyed it a bit anyway... Wanna play a game or something?"

"Oh okay... Sure!.......... Wait... WHAT?!"

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   Word Count: 627

   I'd love it if Sasuke farted on me like that. Shikamaru is so lucky (//////////*´﹃｀*//////////).