I do not take credit for the following song.

I wish I could, it's awesome, but sadly, I would get sued... -.-

But type it in on youtube, it's called Amazing horse, and it. Is. Awesome.

On with the story, bishes!!

""Look at my horse,

My horse is amazing

Give it a lick."

"Ooh, it tastes just like raisins!"

"Tug on it's mane,

It turns into a plane,

And then it turns back again,

When you TUG ON IT'S WINKY!"

"Ooh that's dirty!"

"Do you think so?

Well I better not show

You where the Lemonade

Is made sweet lemonade

Mm sweet lemonade

Yeah sweet lemonade

Sweet sweet lemonade.

Get on my horse,

I'll take you round the universe!

And then some other places too!"

"I think you'll find that the universe pretty much covers everything."

"Shut up woman get on my horse!""

"WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!" I think Zoey had finally had enough of the Amazing horse song. My team and sensei were looking at me as if I'd grown a second head, as were team ten and Kurenai.

"WHACHU STARIN' AT, PLANKS?!?!" I screamed, the scream resounding painfully around the room. I stormed over to Sasuke and punched him into a wall, then smiled sinisterly at him. "In the future, don't dress like a man-whore!"

Of course, I was referring to the open shirted thing he wears.

"IF YOU'RE TRYING TO GET RID OF FANGIRLS LIKE THAT, IT WON'T WORK!! FANGIRLS AND PEDOPHILES ARE ATTRACTED BY STUFF LIKE THAT!!" I yelled, then I turned on Sakura. "AND YOU!!! WHY DON'T YOU DO ANYTHING?!?! WHY?!"

Everyone just blinked at me. I waved my arms in a spastic way, then glared at Kakashi's hair. "And your hair!! It goes against nature!!" I jumped on his back, playing with his gravity defying hair. "What is up with that?!"

Then I fell back onto my bed. The last thing I muttered before I fell asleep was, "Pure awesomeness..."

* * *

"Ungh... my head..."

I slowly sat up, rubbing my throbbing head as I did so. What happened before I fell asleep?

"Someone drugged your food. You had an all out spaz, yelling all sorts of things." Zoey explained, coming through to my room, then hqnding me a cup of jasmine tea. I wrinkled my nose at it, and she gave me a look. "Drink it; it'll help your headache. Well, at least we now know that a truth serum has a different effect on you than most."

I ignored her, gulping the tea down in one go, then sticking my tongue out in disgust.

"I'm gonna go out in a bit, I've got a mission. Will you be all right?" Zoey asked, and I rolled my eyes at her. What was I, five?

"Yeah, yeah. I'll go... and... annoy my man-whore friend. Yeah! That's what I'll do." Zoey sweatdropped, knowing I meant Sasuke. "And probably stalk Lee and Neji for a bit."

I grinned evilly, and Zoey shook her head, leaving without another word.

I quickly dressed, pulling on some black slacks and a blue wife-beater (a tight vest-top), then brushing my pink -ugh - hair, and pulling it back into a ponytail. I stuffed some sort of bready thing down my throat for breakfast, brushed my teeth, then headed out, slinging my bow and quiver of arrows on my back as I went. Might as well do some practisin' of this shiz today, as well.

So, who would be my first victim? Muhahaha, I think I shall go irritate Sasu-chan first.

"Saaaassssuuuuuukkeeeeee!!!!" I called, once I saw the familiar cockatoo hair. He turned to face me, a displeased expression on his face. I grinned and hooked an arm around his neck.

"What?" he asked, cheeks tinting slightly pink.

"Are you having naughty thoughts, Sasu-chan?" I asked innocently, trying to hide the pure evilness in my eyes. His face stained red at that, and I fought not to burst out laughing.

"Bad wifey!!!" I yelled, punching him. He fell onto the grass, then sprang up again, glaring at me.

"What was that for?!" then he stopped. "Why did you just.. call me... wifey?"

I grinned mischievously, "Because you remind me of a woman, and I'm wearing a wife-beater, so now I can beat you up!" I winked at him, then said "Plus, I like the idea of having you as my wife!"

I giggled as he turned bright red, though whether from anger or embarassment, I don't know.

"I dunno, though. You're a bit too emo for my tastes. Maybe I should divorce you." I punched him again. "Bad wifey!!!"

When he stood up again, he glared at me angrily. "Charlie..."

"Yes, wifey?"

"You are really beginning to tick me off."

"Then my job is done." I skipped away, leaving my wifey to his training.

- - -

What next? I've annoyed Sasuke already, maybe I should do some archery training... I mean, I have this thing, I might as well learn to use it.

Hm, perhaps I should ask Naruto if he wants to be my training buddy? Yeah, sounds good!

I turned off in the direction for Naruto's house, arriving there within minutes. I went inside the apartment building, then went to Naruto's flat. I rapped on the door, once, twice, three times, before yelling "NARUTO!! OPEN THE FRIGGING DOOR!!!!"

After a few more seconds, the lock clicked, and the door opened to reveal a tired-looking Naruto, still in his pj's.

"Naru-chaann, get dressed, it's almost lunch time! You should be up by now!" I chastised him as he gestured for me to come inside, before shutting the door behind me. He shrugged groggily.

"Meh... I was up late last night-" he broke off with a yawn "-reading."

I blinked, "Reading?! Since when do you read?!"

"Manga." Massive sweatdrop moment right there.

I rolled my eyes. "Weelll, hurry up and get dressed, I've decided; you have been selected to be my training partner for today! So chop chop!!"

Naruto sighed "Too tired to do anything..."

I grinned at him "I'll tell you something about myself that even Zoey doesn't know if you come with me."

He perked up, and I grinned wider. I knew he was curious about my past, but I always refused to tell him.

"Does Sasuke-teme know?" I shook my head, - tsk, I am bad to my wifey- and Naruto leapt up. "OKAY! I'm gonna know more about Charlie than teme, dattebayo!!"

Then he raced off to get dressed and sorted. I shook my head, smiling. What was it about these boys? Sasuke and Naruto had initiated this competition type thing to get to know me before the other. It seemed to irritate Sakura that Sasuke spent so much time trying to beat Naruto at finding stuff out about me, but so far, niether of them had earned a single point.

After a few minutes, Naruto returned, looking eager. I tried to think of something I could tell him, considering telling him that I was planning to stalk Lee and Neji later ( see, my randomness isn't so random, it's pre-meditated) but that wouldn't work, as we aren't at the chunin exam arc yet, ergo, Naruto doesn't know Lee and Neji.

"So, so?! What are you going to tell me?!?!" Naruto asked, practically bouncing on the spot.

I sighed, then hummed thoughtfully. Then.. bingo!

"Okay. Naruto, you must promise that you won't tell anyone this..." Naruto nodded enthusiastically, and I grinned naughtily. "The bra I am wearing is blue with turtles printed on it!"

Then I burst out laughing. His face!! Priceless, just priceless!

"That was rubbish!! Why would I want to know that?! I'm not some kind of pervert!!" he yelled, but he was blushing. I managed to stop laughing, and wagged my finger at him.

"A deal's a deal, naru-chan. You wanted to know something that Sasuke doesn't know, and there you are! So now, you have to come and train with me."

Naruto sighed. "Fine..."

* * *

I growled at my bow, then went and collected the arrows I had shot that had missed the target. Naruto had gone home a long while ago, as it was now dark. My plan for stalking Neji and Lee didn't go down. I just couldn't get this archery thing! Lee and Neji stalking would have to wait until tomorrow.

I drew the next arrow onto the string, pulled back, and... it whistled straight past the target.

I sighed, collecting the arrow, and putting it back in my quiver, then shouldering my bow. I would try again tomorrow.

Suddenly, I heard the soft frush of fabric to my left. "Who's there?!"

"Impressive... you heard my movements, despite my mastery of silent killing... so the rumours of your return were true, Ongakutora Hiromi..." a low voice rumbled out, and a weird woman appeared in front of me. I growled, my hand reaching into the kunai pouch that wasn't there. I cussed under my breath.

"Look lady, I don't know who you are or who this 'Hiromi' person is, but you better get lost before I have your ass as a hat!" I warned, pulling an arrow out and steadying my bow. She laughed.

"You have no mastery of that weapon. I saw. Silly child." I heard the frush of fabric again, but before I could react to it, something struck my neck.

"Damnit..." I mumbled, before passing out.

...

...

...

.......

Meh.

Fan, vote, and comment.

I DO NOT, AND NEVER WILL, OWN NARUTO. AS FOR SASUKE, WELL, THAT IS A DIFFERENT STORY, HE IS MY WIFEY LOL.