"Ammu, what does death feel like?"

"Well when we visit your nana or dada bari how do you feel?"

"Excited!"

"Exactly, exciting may not be the right word to describe death but think of it as a journey. Your soul is moving from one world to another, when you are righteous and a good person the journey is easy and swift but when you're not it's like how you feel when traveling by boat - uneasy and tough "

Paddling back away from India and hopefully to safety took much longer. We were slow and steady but the anxiety we were all feeling made it so much more tortuous. We didn't know what we were walking into, this could all be a trap. By the time we could see land, the sun was beginning to rise and the air was rich with moisture.

 "I don't see anyone" Ammu mumbled slowly lifting her head to look. It was true from where we were we couldn't see anything.

 "If at any point you see anyone, jump into the water okay? Swim away" Baba said, we all nodded our heads, because how else could you respond to that in such a fearful situation? We cautiously continued to paddle, the warm sunlight hitting our skin. 

"I think we're safe" I said once we got a couple meters close to the dock. There was no one except for little birds looking for breakfast. One by one we got off the boat muttering Alhamdullilah under our breaths. A couple days ago, this area was not occupied and generally was safe but we can't be sure the situation was the same now. 

"Ashique!" My husband called out, running towards his former colleague. "Don't let anyone else flee, it looks like they're guarding the area" Baba joins them and they discuss other ways to flee and what we should do. 

Meanwhile Ammu brings both Bhabi and I together in a hug. "We made it out now but there will be no more escaping, we must stand our ground, I may have been convinced this time but I will not be leaving without my son" 

Ammu's voice was strong and rigid, I had never heard her talk with such a determination in her voice. Both of us nodded but I could feel Bhabi nod with much more determination. Moments after Baba called for us,

 "To go home we're going to go in that truck over there" He said pointing straight behind my back. It was a long dark brown truck with a red plus sign on it. Bhabi nudged me "It's an American jeep!" she said gleefully, if there weren't men around I'm sure she would've started to dance and jump. Bhai is a huge car fan - especially the American cars and naturally Bhabi being his wife, she was a car fanatic as well. One by one we all got into the van, it was spacious and designed to be an ambulance. Ammu, Bhabi and I all huddled together in one corner. After not feeling safe for the past couple of days and getting next to no sleep, I somehow dozed off and fell asleep on my mother's lap. 

* 

Fun fact there were ALOT of cool american cars during this war, it's so fascinating. The jeep mentioned above is a real jeep that was used in 1971. It was made in the USA during WW2 and it's purpose was to quickly evacuate wounded soldiers. These ambulances were used in Bangladesh during the war, the picture of it is above!