~Jihye~

I got off the phone with my fiancé and walked into my father's hospital room. Like always, he welcomed me with a bright smile and a big hug.

"It's not too hard, is it?" he asked me when I was apologising for being late again because of work.

I shook my head and my father looked back at me with a sad smile. It's been like this since I was seventeen. My father was hospitalised because of cancer. I was happy when we were told that it wasn't as serious as we thought... but then a year ago, we learn that he doesn't have much time left. Which sucked for my fiancé because he's the one who has been paying my father's medical bills while I work to pay him back.

In a way, I guess that's why my father wanted me to be engaged with Daeyoung. We've been dating since I was twenty-one and he was twenty-three so that means it's been four years. At first, I didn't want to date him because I only see him as a friend but when he asked me out, well, I couldn't say no. A part of me wanted to try again after that horrible relationship ended but then again, a part of me doesn't want to let go of that horrible relationship too.

Daeyoung is a businessman and he like his job a little too much. That's not the problem though. The problem is that he likes to work with women and to be honest, he cheated on me a few times now. I couldn't tell my father because my father really likes him.

I also have no feelings towards Daeyoung so his cheating doesn't bother me because I didn't care. I also wonder why he's with me when he can have anyone he wants. Prettier and wealthier girls, you know?

I still have to pay Daeyoung back for my father's medical bills so that's also a reason why I'm still with him. He cheats but he's not a bad person. I don't love him though. I don't think I've ever loved anyone as much as—

"Jihye."

I turned my gaze to my father.

"Are you okay?" he asked, worriedly.

"Uh—yeah," I nodded. "Did you need something?"

He sighed, "I asked you when are you planning the wedding?"

I felt my chest tightening, "Um, I don't know, dad. I don't want to marry...yet."

He frowned. "I thought you love Daeyoung."

I ran a hand through my hair, "Uh, not really but he's a good guy."

"Can you honestly marry him if you don't love him?" my father crossed his arms and shook his head, "I don't think you can, love."

You didn't care back then, so why now? I thought to myself, grimly.

"Jihye?"

I sighed, "I don't know, dad. Can we not do this? I'm more worried about your health."

He shook his head, "You've been working multiple jobs since I've been ill," he said, quietly. "I just want you to settle down with the man I want for you. I want to be able to watch you two and be happy knowing that you're being loved and taken care of. Is that wrong?"

I bent over and grabbed my father's hand and squeezed it, "Don't worry, father. If it's not Daeyoung, I'm sure there's many men out there who'll love me and take care of me too. Not all men are bad."

My father smiled tiredly, "Make up your mind about Daeyoung, okay? I want you with him."

And as always, I pushed the bitter emotions down and forced a smile at my father.

***

As I left the hospital that night, I couldn't help but ask myself if this marriage is something I should go through. Can I really spend the rest of my life with Daeyoung who might be playing with women behind my back? 

Something caught my eyes and I came to stop. I looked up at the one of the billboard ads that was playing and that's when I saw him. Namjoon.

My heart ached as I watched him glow with the rest of his members. His smile is still the same and he still has that aura that makes you stop and stare.

I felt tears welled up in my eyes at the sight of him. I've always known that he was too good for me but I didn't care because I loved him so much. Namjoon and I didn't come from a rich family but that was okay too. He was really good to me, always taking care of me and making sure I was okay. It was his gentleness that had me falling for him. His kind gestures and his laugh. He was my best friend and my anchor.

You're doing so well these days, I thought to myself. I hated him for leaving me without a word...for leaving and doing so well with life.

I shook my head to clear it as I walked away from the videos of him. You're doing so well unlike me, who's struggling to take a step forward every day.