BIG TIME MERCHANDISE

"BRING ON the merchandise." Logan smiled.

Today was the day the boys were finally figuring out what merchandise they would be releasing for the whole world to buy.

"I hope we get our own special fragrance like Jay-Z." James said.

"I want to play Big Time Rush video games."

"And I want to okay with the BTR zombie attack squad action figures."

The boys entered the room seeing Gabriela, Gustavo, and Kelly already sitting there waiting for the meeting to start.

They each took a seat as Griffin began to speak, "Hit it, marketers."

"Boys, our crack staff has spent the last year researching, developing, parenting, and testing the exact merchandise that will amaze our retail partners."

"Are you ready... for the Big Time Rush products that'll be flying off the store shelves all over the world?"

Carlos smiled, "Bring it on."

"I present to you the Big Time Rush...toilet scrubbers."

"Big Time Rush... horse shampoo."

"And the Big Time Rush action set."

"The dolls aren't that bad." Gabriela whispered.

"That say all your favorite Big Time catchphrases." The marketer held the Logan doll, "Let's get some hockey balls and play a hockey game!"

"I made boom-boom better change me!"

The group looked at Griffin, "I love it! What else do they say?"

Clicking the button on the back of all for dolls they began to play the song Big Time Rush.

"At least that's accurate."

____________________

"EXCELLENT WORK you two. You're really thinking outside the box." Griffin said.

"Is there any way we could fix that box?" Gabriela asked.

"Yeah, because when I think of Big Time Rush, I think not of horse shampoo!" Gustavo said.

"These products are unique and different, which is exactly the kind of merchandise Sam Selmart loves."

"Sam Selmart? As in Selmart stores?"
Logan asked.

"That's the one."

"I'm pretty sure we're all excited that Sam Selmart would love these products, but just because he likes them doesn't mean the world is going to like them." Gabriela explained, "It's not only embarrassing for the boys, it's also embarrassing for your company if you produce a widespread of these items and they don't sell."

"I also don't say, "I made boom-boom."" Kendall said.

"You just did."

"This is not about what you like. This is about what Sam Selmart likes, which is why our marketing team is going to pitch these items to him at five o'clock today at his annual west coast product search." Griffin said.

"Keep the prototypes. Play with the dolls. Wash a horse."

"I think you'll like these products as much as we do."

"And I don't want to hear any complaining or yelling."

____________________

THE BOYS including Gustavo stood in the studio yelling into a single microphone.

Gabriela sat in the chair watching everyone, but since it was muffled she could really hear what was being said.

"Okay, Griffin's gone." Kelly said.

One by one, they each came out of the recording studio.

"Gustavo, if these end up on Selmart's shelves, we will be a laughingstock." James said.

"Yeah, I know."

"I hate being laughed at." Logan added, "Like that one time in third grade when those kids pantsed me in the cafeteria."

"We said we were sorry."

"And do these guys even look like a robot zombie attack squad?"

"Kendall's got to go potty!"

Kendall held his doll, "I do not say that!"

"Yeah, that's embarrassing." Gabriela said and grabbed the Kendall doll, "It's cute though."

"These products are total boom-boom." Kelly said.

"Which is why we are taking over this pitch meeting and presenting our own big-time merchandise." Gustavo said.

"Right," Kendall said, "Me, you, Kelly, Gabriela, and Carlos will stay here and record new cool catchphrase for our dolls that aren't: "Yo, you, let's a get a hang down low on the snip-snap!""

"Yeah, James and I will head up our own research and development." Logan said.

"And create a big-time product that Sam Selmart and the whole world will want." James added.

"All right, guys, let's get a hang down low on the snip-snap." Carlos said.

"Stop it."

____________________

"DOGS, I passed your dolls' voice chops into the board so we can record new, cooler big-time catchphrase. Carlos is up first. Action."

"The robot zombies are attacking! Quick, target their reactor hearts! Pew, pew, pew! Pew, pew, pew-"

"Carlos," Gabriela smiled, "I'm glad you're having fun, but this is not an action figure, we just need you to say some cool catchphrase. So, while you think of that, Kendall you can say whatever you like."

"I'm Kendall. Be cool, everybody."

"That's great... if you don't want to seem cool." Gabriela said.

"You're my girlfriend, you're supposed to encourage me."

"And as your girlfriend, I'm letting you know that wasn't cool."

"Hey, I'm Kendall. Be cool everybody." Carlos mocked.

"It's a lot better than "Pew, pew, pew.""

"Are you kidding me? "Be cool" is stupid!"

"Okay, well you're stupid."

Gabriela held her hands over her face as the two boys went back and forth.

"Shut it! Shut it forever!"

Gustavo walked into the recording booth and the conversation began to be muffled.

Gabriela looked up as Kelly went in and began shouting at them, once again muffled.

Gustavo was the first to walk out, "Okay, let's try that again."

"What did you say?" Gabriela asked.

Kelly placed her hand on her shoulder, "Something you'll probably say later."

"Okay, two more super cool Big Time Rush catchphrase." Gustavo said, "And a-go."

"Got to live it Big Time!"

"Helmets rule!"

"How easy was that?" Gabriela asked, "That was great."

Gustavo turned his chair and faced the computer, "All I've got to drag your voices to the doll's chips and we will be ready for the Selmart pitch."

"Are you sure you did it correctly?" Gabriela asked.

"I'm sure we don't have time to talk about it!"

Logan and James came into the room.

"But do you have time to experience-"

"The one scent that is bold enough to be called... Smellevate."

"Uh, no! Because we need to come up with a plan to get rid of Griffin's marketing team so that we can take over that pitch meeting with Sam Selmart."

"On it."

"No tree hats!"

"Um, tree hats have solved a lot of problems." Kendall said.

"And they're awesome." James added.

"Yeah, do have any better ideas?" Logan asked.

"Well, Uh, there's..."

Gabriela held the Rocqué Records phone in her hands, "Hello, Griffin's marketing team? Yes, this is the Selmart West Coast headquarters. We're gonna need to cancel the merchandising meeting that you had today. Mr. Selmart's feeling ill. If you have any other questions please feel free to call his assistant Kelly. Thank you."

"Nice!"

"Let's go."

Kendall threw Gabriela a tree hat as the others dashed out of the room.

"I'll meet you guys there." She said, "But, I'm taking the tree hat."

"You have to help with the pitch."

She smiled at Kendall, "And I am, but no one else knows what Smellevate smells like and we don't know if Gustavo actually got your voices into the dolls."

"So, you have a plan?"

"I always do." She said, "I'll be there. I might be late but I'll be there."

Before Kendall could protest Gabriela kissed his cheek and left the room.

____________________

"YOU GUYS weren't even gone for ten minutes." Gabriela whispered.

Griffin showed the group the news. The news that the boys plus Gustavo and Kelly had injured Sam Selmart... horribly injured Sam Selmart.

"Griffin, before you say anything... we can fix this." Kendall said.

Kendall leaned over towards Gabriela, "You can fix this right?"

"I don't know anymore."

"Let me guess. It involves a crank phone call, breaking and entering, and tree hats."

"We weren't actually gonna break anything." James said.

"Tree hats don't work in the high stakes business world. What might work is the personal apology you're going to give Sam Selmart today."

"I can probably fix this." Gabriela whispered.

Carlos held the dolls up, "Yeah, guys, let's go apologize. We should go say sorry to Sam!"

"Stop talking." Gabriela said.

"And after you apologize, I'll be there to personally pitch the products Sam was supposed to see yesterday at five o'clock. The toilet brushes, the horse shampoo, and the dolls that do not tell Selmart to "shut it, shut it forever.""

"There's no way people would actually buy this stuff." Gabriela said, "And if they do it's for jokes and not because they actually want it."

"I hate when people laugh at me. That one time at summer camp when those guys put a sign on my back that said, "fart on me."" Logan said.

"We said we're sorry."

"And now you're going to say you're sorry to Sam Selmart, and pitch these products. What do your dolls have to say now?"

Each boy held their respected doll.

"Let's got tell Sam we're sorry!"

"Whatever Griffin says."

"Yeah, great plan boss."

"Away we go!"

____________________

THE GROUP stood in front of Sam Selmart who was now bedridden.

"Are you sure you can fix this?" Kendall whispered.

"Have I ever failed?"

"Howdy, Arthur." Sam greeted to Griffin.

"Sam."

"Hey, boys. Blind anyone lately?"

That's when the apologizes rang through the room.

""Sorry" doesn't trim the whiskers on the admiral's beard, does it? But I will forgive you if you pitch me some merchandise I can sell in my stores and make money with."

"Sam, my research and development team at RCM slash CBT Globalnet slash Sanyoid has some exciting big-time merchandise. It's gonna fly off your shelves!"

"Well, I sure hope they're better products than that last jackalope done tried to pitch me. Katy Perry horse shampoo and toilet scrubbers with One Direction's face on them. Why in the world would I want to scrub my john with Liam?"

"That is so funny." Gabriela smiled.

"You're plan coming together?" Kendall asked.

"Better than what I thought."

"Which is why you're going to love the all-new and improved Big Time Rush action set."

"I made boom-boom better change me."

"Boom-boom? That ain't the kind of action I want. I want Kung Fu grip and superpowers."

"You're plan?"

"Not yet."

"Oh, oh, oh, these dolls, they fight zombie robots." Carlos said.

"Yeah, yeah, and they go, "pew, pew!""

"Pew, pew? Now, I like me some pew, pew. What else they do?"

"Uh... they fly!" James said.

"I love me some flyin'! How do they fly?"

"Oh, well, like this!" Griffin said and threw the doll.

Horrible idea.

"Your plan now?" Kendall asked.

Gabriela sighed, "You guys suck at making pitches... so, a new plan is brewing."

They made their way back to Rocqué Records and allowed Griffin to shout at himself in the studio.

"How long has he been in there?" Carlos asked.

"About an hour and twenty-three minutes." Kelly said, "I think he's almost finished though."

"And we're finished because Selmart stopped selling Big Time Rush's music in his stores." James said.

"Which accounts for fifty percent of our album sales." Gustavo said.

"Actually, seventy-two percent."

"It's over." Griffin said, "I pitched horrible product ideas, launched the world's richest CEO over our heads, and killed your music career in less than three minutes."

"I can fix this." Gabriela said.

"How?" He asked, "We're banned from Selmart's West Coast headquarters and blocked from all his phone lines."

"Don't underestimate me... yet. What we need is a ton of tree hats and allow me and the guys to pitch Big Time Rush's merchandise."

____________________

"ARE YOU sure this is gonna work?"

"Definitely probably not."

They stood from behind a bush.

"Excuse me." Gabriela said, "I said not to underestimate me yet."

They followed Gabriela to the window of where the pitches took place.

"Okay, so say we get into the building, then what?" Griffin asked.

"You're underestimating me and I hate it." Gabriela said, "The guys are going to do what they do best."

"Sing." Kendall said.

"Not what I was thinking." Gabriela said.

"We shoe off our voices."

"And not toilet scrubbers."

"He sees we're a great band and puts our music back on the shelves."

"And we go back to the way it was."

"And forget about this whole merchandise thing."

"Okay, you guys are underestimating my plan. So, you guys can go do that and I'll go do my own thing." Gabriela stood up, "Good luck."

Kendall grabbed Gabriela's hand, "We're not underestimating your plan."

She squatted, "Then let the best man win."

With that, she headed off.

She eventually made her way into Mr. Selmart's office.

"Before you kick me out... or shoot me?" Gabriela said, she looked around his office as saw four heavy-duty cannons in front of her, "I am going to apologize for everything that has happened."

Instead of him being bedridden he was now stuck in double arms cast and a wheelchair.

"But think that I think that you should just give Big Time Rush one more chance. They've come up with this cool idea for merchandise and I think you'll love it."

She took the tree hat off her head and held it to her hands, "Big Time Rush has created the tree hat, camouflage for your head. You'll be able to hide from anyone or anything with this hat."

Sam nodded, "I love 'em."

"And all you have to do to get it is to put Big Time Rush back on the shelves and you'll get the tree hats. It's a win-win situation for everyone."

Before Sam could give her an answer, the others barged into the room.

Gabriela and smiled at the others.

They made their way to her, quickly made their way to her.

"I want two hundred thousand of 'em." Sam said, "I'm gonna put 'em in my boxes and sell 'em all over the world."

"You did it." Kendall said.

"I always do."

"We thought you hated us." James said.

"Pretty Clem, let me tell you a story. A feller once stabbed me in the foot with a penknife. Darn near took off my whole big toe. You want to know what I done? I bought every knife that fella had and made me rich as Midas." Sam said, "What do you say..."

"Gabriela."

"Gabriela, we got a deal?"

"And you'll keep selling Big Time Rush's music?" Kendall asked.

"Little lady and I already discussed this."

"We've got a deal." Gabriela smiled, "Never underestimate me."

____________________

AFTER THAT fiasco, Kendall and Gabriela walked hand-in-hand as they made their way through the Palm Woods.

"Let me buy you a smoothie."

Gabriela rugged on his hand, "Why?"

"Can't I just buy you a smoothie?"

"I mean, yeah you can but I know there's a reason why you want to buy me a smoothie."

Kendall sighed and rested his head on top of hers.

"Look, your tree hats idea worked and everyone is fine." Gabriela said, "Don't feel bad about underestimating my idea."

"Smoothie?"

She smiled and nodded.

Taking the time to grow and learn what's right and wrong in a relationship was something that Gabriela and Kendall would have to really try hard and work on.

i hate school