Abdul Rehman had one single thing on his mind. Ameerah's crying face. What was he going to do? He sat in his office now thinking about what he was supposed to do. He had seen now how much his actions had hurt his family. There was a knock on the door, which dragged him out of his thoughts.

Ma'az entered. He had a file in his hands. He probably wanted a signature on some documents, he thought.

He sat down on the chair across Abdul Rehman.

Abdul Rehman had gone back to thinking and was staring into space.

"Sir, are you okay? You seem stressed. Maybe I can help," Ma'az asked carefully, not to seem intrusive.

Abdul Rehman stared at him for two seconds and then straightened himself.

"Do you have a daughter, Ma'az?" he asked.

"Yes I do sir. Her name is Ruhi. She is five years old," he said lovingly, suddenly missing her innocent, smiling face.

"I have disappointed my daughters Ma'az. I have failed," he replied, staring blankly at something.

Ma'az knew the reason, like the rest of the office. He didn't know what to say to him. He looked down at his hands.

"I don't understand how this happened. How did I reach here? I had a loving family, and now I have an another woman in my life, apart from my wife. I don't understand how all of this happened. If I get a chance to go back, I would never let all of this happen. My daughters hate me. I have destroyed my life and my Akhira with my own hands. She said Allah will never forgive me," he said and threw his head in his hands.

Ma'az looked at him. He saw a defeated man. He realized how a man looked when he had nothing else to loose.

"You have lost to nothing other than your nafs. You gave in, for a second, and Shaytaan caught you from there. It has not let you look at it as a great sin. You look at it as a necessity, as the right thing to do, when it is clearly not. You feed excuses to your nafs and try to convince it that you are right. Sir, it's not my place to say all this. But it's my duty as a fellow muslim. I have to tell you to hold on to the single seed of guilt that has found its place in your heart. The seed might be very small, but it's a gift from Allah. He cares about you and, and is giving you a chance. He wants you to come to Him. He is waiting for you. If He didn't, he would let you be in the sin, but He wants you out of it. You should go to Him, talk to Him. Hold on to the guilt. It is the most precious thing that you have right now, when you feel like you have lost everything. You haven't lost anything yet."

Abdul Rehman looked up at him. He had tears in his eyes and was on the verge of crying.

"Ma'az, do you know what Ahmad said to me, the one with the big beard. He came to my office when he came to know about my affair. He said that I was ruined and that I am the most shameless man he had ever seen. He said that people like me deserved only hell. Why did you remain the same with me when everyone turned against me? Didn't it anger you? Didn't you feel repulsed by me?"

"Sir, I am a very sinful person. Every single day, I keep having Jihad with myself. I fight with everything my nafs wants me to do. It is very difficult, and sometimes I do give in. If a human being was to reveal every wish, desire and lust of his nafs, he might display himself as a very ghastly animal. I am a mere human being, with a very limited control of my nafs. If I die right now, I don't know where I'll end up, probably in hell, if I don't consider Allah's mercy. Allah's Rehmat is the only thing that gives me hope of Jannah. Rasool Allah SAW was guaranteed the highest place in Jannah. He came as a mercy to us. He didn't look down on anyone. He showed mercy to even the biggest of Kafir, loved them, made Du'a for them, cried for them, so that they may somehow find a place in Jannah, and be protected from hell. He was the most perfect human being in the whole of Kaynat. When he didn't look down on the sinners, didn't wish hell on them, how can I, a sinful person, be repulsed by you? It was not my place to judge. It's no one's place to judge anyone. When a Kafir can be shown mercy by the Nabi SAW, who am I to be repulsed by a person who carries the Kalma in his heart. It is a great blessing, sir, the Kalma, a treasure we might only understand on the Day of Judgment. Our naive minds, which are engaged in collecting as much worldly treasures as possible might not understand its importance, until when we are raised from the dead to stand before our Lord.

Allah says in the Quran:One Day every soul will come up struggling for itself and every soul will be recompensed (fully) for all its actions, and none will be unjustly dealt with." (Surah An-Nahl, 111) he said, his eyes now filling with tears.

He suddenly had the urge to pray, to ask for forgiveness, to kneel down before his Lord and cry and beg for mercy. The only thought in his mind right now was that if he died at this instant, what will he have to show to his Creator. He will be empty handed. He lowered his eyes in shame and guilt. Ya Allah, please forgive me, a silent cry escaped his heart.

"Astaghfirullaha Rabbi min kulli zambiyu wa a toobu Ilaihi." (I seek Allah's forgiveness for all my sins, who is my Lord, and I ask for repentance.)

"Rabbana Zalamna anfusana wa illam taghfir lana wa tarhamna lana koonanna minal khasireen." (Ya Rabb, I have wronged my own self, and if You do not forgive us, and have mercy upon us, we will surely be among the losers.)" He kept reciting these du'as silently and repeatedly.

A slight shiver passed through Abdul Rehman's body. He couldn't understand anything. He didn't know what to do. He had an internal battle going on with his own thoughts, what to do, what not to do.

"What do I do?" Abdul Rehman asked with a voice, like that of an innocent child, who has no idea of anything at all, staring hopefully at an adult, to guide him out of his state of confusion. He looked at Ma'az the same way.

Ma'az looked at him. "Ask for forgiveness. Allah has given you a chance to ask for His mercy. Beg Him. If He didn't want to forgive you, He wouldn't have given you the gift of guilt. You have a chance of Repentance, sir. You can still win. You have not yet lost anything. If you lose hope in Allah's Rehmat, that is when you truly loose. Wherever Allah speaks about sins in Quran, He speaks about forgiveness and His mercy too. He loves Tawba. Tawba means to return. He is waiting for you to return to Him.

Rasool Allah SAW said, "By Him in Whose Hand is my life, if you were not to commit sin, Allah would sweep you out of existence and He would replace (you by) those people who would commit sin and seek forgiveness from Allah, and He would have pardoned them." (Sahih Muslim, 37:6621)

Also Allah says: If any one does evil or wrongs his own soul but afterwards seeks Allah's forgiveness, he will find Allah Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful. (Surah An-Nisa, 110)

Also: And those who, having done something to be ashamed of, or wronged their own souls, earnestly bring Allah to mind, and ask for forgiveness for their sins,- and who can forgive sins except Allah.- and they are never obstinate in persisting knowingly in (the wrong) they have done. (Surah Al-Imran, 135)"

Abdul Rehman listened carefully to what Ma'az said. With every word, his chest tightened a bit more till it became difficult to breathe. His heart was heavy with guilt. He felt suffocated. He needed to do something right now, to lift this weight off his chest. He got up, and walked towards Ma'az and after placing a hand on his shoulder, and whispering, "Thank you Ma'az," he got out.