Ameerah's point of view

I left Haleema's place feeling very confused. Her marriage had come to me as a really big shock. She was sixteen, for crying out loud. How can someone even think about marriage at that age, let alone going ahead with it? I did not understand the girl at all. I mean yes, she was a great company, full of joy and sweetness but I didn't get her. Plus all that talk about hijab. I do believe that Islam asks us to cover up and stuff, but too much strictness? Was that part of Islam too? But then again, what did I know about Islam? She is pretty steadfast in her believes, I have to give her that. I, on the other hand don't even know what to believe about Islam. Did I want to know? Did I care about such stuff?

There was already too much on my plate right now. Mom's health, dad's affair, Aabira's depression. I couldn't afford to think about anything else right now. To top it all, I had my exams from next week. It had been over a week since I met Zarak.  He had his band practice every day. There were only two weeks left for his big show and I was busy taking care of my mom. I let out a frustrated groan. I pretty much hated my life at the moment.

Mom had been pretty sick lately. She had fever and it just wouldn't go down. The doctor said that it was stress. She had high blood pressure all the time.  Aabira stayed in her room most of the time. The times that I called her out for lunch, or for dinner, she would stay extremely quiet. She was starting to freak me out. I tried talking to her, tried to make her laugh but she just smiled lightly and went back to eating. Maybe there was something else that was troubling her as well, but she just wasn't the type to share her problems. I had decided that I would convince her, and take her to a psychiatrist.

Therefore I was the one left to handle every situation of the house. Right now, there was a nurse with mom, as I had retreated from the house for an important assignment submission in college. I had decided to meet Haleema too. I also decided that I would meet dad today. I couldn't delay it further. It had to be done. I wonder what it was that he wanted to talk to me. What else does he want? He had made us empty inside. He had taken everything from us. He had ruined us. What more did he want?

I called him to ask if I could come to meet him. He didn't pick up.

Abdul Rehman's point of view

It was one of those days when I had meeting after meeting. I was talking to a very important client in a meeting in the afternoon when my phone started vibrating. I decided to ignore it. Just after five minutes when I was done, I checked who the missed call was from. It was Ameerah. My heart skipped a beat. I regretted ignoring the call. I should have picked it up then. I left the room that instant excusing myself from the meeting and called her again. She picked up instantly.

"Assalam u alaikum," she said. My heart broke at the sound of her voice. I missed her so much.

"Walaikum assalam sweetheart. How are you Ameerah? What is it? Is something wrong? Are you both okay?"

"Everything is fine. I was just thinking if we could meet today?"

Her voice was devoid of any emotion.

"Yes dear, of course! I'll send the driver right away to pick you up. Where are you? Tell me where you want to meet."

"There is no need for the driver. Thank you very much."

Every word that she said was a stab to my heart, the way she said it, like there was no connection between us, like I was nothing to her.

She told me where she wanted to meet, and disconnected the call before I could say anything. I didn't try calling her again; I knew she wouldn't pick up. I cancelled all my meetings for the day. It was a two hour drive from my office to where she had called me. I set out instantly.

I kept thinking about how I would say what I had to say to her. My daughters meant the world to me, but I couldn't leave Aaliya now. She had given me happiness whereas Sadaf had given me a lot of sleepless nights, where I lay awake thinking if life was even worth living. I had tolerated her for so long only because of my daughters. If I hadn't loved them enough, I would've left home a long time ago. But now Aabira and Ameerah had grown up. They were smart girls. I hoped that they would understand that I couldn't live with their mom anymore. I wasn't abandoning them. I could never do that. I would explain this to her.

I reached the place two hours later. It was a park close to Ameerah's university. I called her and asked her where she was. I reached the spot. Ameerah was sitting on a bench under a tree. It was a vacant spot. There were no people around.

She was lost in deep thought.

"Ameerah," I called her.

She looked up blankly. I couldn't read her expressions. She moved to one side, to make space for me. I sat down, and looked at her. She was looking straight ahead. She looked so weak and fragile.

I placed a hand on her shoulder, "Ameerah dear, you look so thin."

"There is no need to show fake care. Just tell me what you wanted to talk about?" She shrugged my hand away. My chest tightened at her attitude.

I began, " Ameerah, you're a grown woman now, and you are very smart. You know I love you all too much to ever abandon you. I know you believe that I don't care anymore, that I have left you. But that is not true. I can never abandon you. Aabira and you are my life. You know that the relationship between me and your mom is strained. We don't seem to agree on anything. There are too many arguments and fights all the time. I will not say that it's Sadaf's fault. Maybe it's mine. But there is just nothing left between us. I have tried very hard to make it work. We both have. It just cannot be brought back now."

Ameerah sat in the same position, with the same expression.

I began again. "I wanted to tell you about Aaliya. She is a divorcee and lives alone. She came for a job interview at my office. She had the qualifications that I needed for the job, so I hired her. She was a very lonely woman. She had no one to care for her, no father, son or brother in her life. At first, it was just sympathy that brought me close to her, but as I came to know her better, i found her to be very decent."

"Dad please," Ameerah spoke up. "I don't want to know about her. Mom is sick. Do you even know that? Do you care? Aabira is depressed. She hardly talks now. And here you are telling me about a lady who is the reason behind all this. Are you trying to justify what you did? There is no justification dad. There is no excuse. We will never forgive you. Allah will never forgive you. If this is what you wanted to talk about, then I have to go. I cannot sit here and talk about a lady that ruined the happiness of my family. I didn't expect this from you dad. I didn't know you could stoop so low. Here I was thinking, probably you were going to apologize. You have to choose between us and her. If you choose her, you will lose us completely and will have to divorce mom too. We can live without you."

I know that she was angry with me, but I hadn't expected such adverse reaction from her. My throat tightened at her words and it became difficult to swallow. I looked at her. She was crying silently with her head in her hands. I felt ashamed. I felt ashamed in front of my beloved daughter, the most important thing in the world to me. It was suffocating, this feeling. It felt like the walls were closing in on me, even though there were no walls. I couldn't see clearly. I felt dizzy and there was darkness in front of my eyes. My chest tightened, and my heart ached. I couldn't understand if it was physical pain or emotional. I had never felt this ashamed of my existence in my entire life. I wished that the earth would envelope me and I wouldn't exist anymore. I looked up at the sky and prayed to the One I had disobeyed so much. Just take my life right here, right now so that I don't have to deal with this pain, so that I don't have to see my daughter crying in front of me because of me. She is so depressed and I am the reason behind it. A few tears escaped my eyes. I looked at Ameerah with watery eyes.

She looked up at me as if remembering something, still crying silently.

"Do you love me dad?" she asked simply.

My eyes filled with fresh tears, and my heart melted at her words. Without thinking, I enveloped her into a hug, "I love you so much Ameerah. Please believe me. Please believe me Ameerah, please," I spoke with my cheek rested against her head. She didn't struggle or try to free herself.

She just kept crying on my shoulder.

We cried on that bench, father and daughter clinging to each other. It was a relief, to hold her close after all these years. It felt like I was holding on to a piece of my heart. I never wanted to let go.