"Yeonjun oppa, you've dieted well."

I read out the comment slowly with my pouty lips.

Yeonjun's thick lips pull back, exposing his teeth in a gentle smile. Wrapping one arm around his stomach, he bows to the vlive camera.

"Thank you." His pale, bony hands clap gently in front of him.

My voice had stayed low, preventing the maknae line from becoming interested as Beomgyu and HueningKai ramble over Taehyun, successfully annoying him.

The comment section became flooded with questions begging for diet tips.

I didn't want to feed into that. I shut my phone off.

"Fighting moa! Please remain safe and healthy." Cheerful. Yeonjun's tone is light and so cheerful. He uses enthusiastic hand gestures and an easy going smile plays on his lips.

How can he talk of dieting with no burden? I let my hands grip the seat between my thighs. My legs shake subconsciously. He makes it seem so easy. Choi Yeonjun: perfect. Choi Yeonjun: the main dancer. Choi Yeonjun: the soulful main vocalist. Choi Yeonjun: the charismatic main rapper.

Choi Yeonjun: the visual.

    My knuckles turn white on my seat.

It must be daunting, to look in the mirror each and every morning and see such perfection. It must be hard. But it's not, not for him. He does everything so effortlessly. It must be so easy for him. It wouldn't be easy for me to be perfect. It is not easy being me. He should of been leader. It must be daunting, to be Choi Yeonjun.

"Soobin-ah."
"Soobin Hyung."
"Soobinie Hyung."
"Yah, Soobin Hyung."

I feel eyes on me. I tear my examining gaze from my soft thighs. All the members are staring at me, calling to me.

"Nae, so our leaders going to end the vlive now!" Huening averts his almond brown eyes back to the camera. One by one, like dominoes, their eyes fall off me. Lingering last is Yeonjun. A shudder tickles down my vertebra, racing throughout all my veins like a poison. I blame it on never being able to get warm.

"Nae. Hah. One dream, we are Tomorrow x Together! Thank you for watching! Bye bye."

Our hands move in sync. Our mouths say the same words. But why do I feel like I'm drowned out?

Beomgyu turns off the camera.

"Woah, I'm starving. Do you guys want to get dinner before our late practice?" The scene works out in front of my eyes like a movie. It's like water is blocking my ears. I hear static overtop their unknowing voices. My legs shake quicker. It doesn't even register to me I have a say in this movie, that I could have a line in this script. I have a voice; I have a choice.

Do I? Do I have a line in this narrative?

Beomgyu stretches his hands above his head, leaning left than right. His shirt rises slightly.

"Yeah. I haven't eaten all day." Taehyun quickly gets up to join him.

I can see the pale, flat skin of Beomgyu's abdomen. I sink into myself, trying to make myself look smaller subconsciously. My legs don't still, they only pick up speed.

"Oh but can I pick? I'm on a diet and I don't want to eat rice and noodles." Kai pouts and the discussion on where to eat begins. It's like it's the most normal thing, for a kid to be dieting. Six feet, 134 pounds, BMI of 18.2: underweight. HueningKai debuted at that size. But with time, he's started to fill out and mature. He's confided in me he's not happy about it. He doesn't like his full hips the fans always point out. He doesn't like the bigger clothes the stylist noona's always have to dress him in.

But he is perfect. And he knows that. He knows his face is mesmerizing. He knows his body isn't fat. He knows he is still skinny. The hate just gets to him. But this is normal. Every idol diets. In the middle of a comeback, we all diet.

Well, all of us besides Yeonjun.

"Soobinie, what do you want to eat?"

My legs stop shaking for a spilt second when I meet Yeonjun's eyes. His lips are left slightly open, puckering and plump. The light makes his chapstick shine on them. Such pinkness. I stutter on my words.

"U-h-uh I-I don't care. You guys pick." Flustered, I move to stand but keep my eyes on the dance practice floor.

"Okay. I'll pay." The maknae line erupts with delight, tackling and giving affection to their Hyung.

Oh Choi Yeonjun, how are you so perfect?

Author's note:
Welcome to my new story (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

This writing is so cringy and sucky. I have no pride in any sentence. I think I've forgotten how to write. I promise my other story is a bit better/a lot better.

If you are a reader from my other story: hello! I love you so much. You make my world. Thank you for continuing to support.
༼ つ ◕◡◕ ༽つ

DISCLAIMER: there will be HEAVY details on eating disorders and triggering thinspo mentions. I'll try to give warnings but basically this whole story will be triggering if you have issues.

Please talk to me if you need someone. I'll always be here ♡︎♥︎♡︎

Ily (;'༎ຶٹ༎ຶ')