I have no idea what day it is, what time it is. My room is dark and my curtains are drawn, blocking any possible light that could come in. I'm alone. There's a knock on my door.

"Come in" I say softly and there before me is Karen. Her hair is dyed deep reddish color, makeup done and wearing all black. "Wow you look great!" I say, praising her. She smiles, leaning down to hug me.

"Wish I could say the same to you! Heard you gave us all a little scare"

"It was nothing"

"Not from what I heard" Karen says sharply. "So what can we do to whip you into shape? You have two little girls who are scared to death of losing their mommy, a husband who has his heart broken beyond repair and you have me, your friend who is truly missing Stevie, the real Stevie. My friend, my boss, my late night gossip lady..." This gets a smile out of me as she nudges me over to sit on my bed with me. "I didn't want to leave. I hope you know that"

"I know" I say.

"I know you don't believe me but I can't watch you self destruct. Remember when you were pregnant with Aria and we holed up in your house in LA? I protected you from the world when everything was going to shit. Rome was burning, Stevie and I was there. I have been here for 15 years, never once have I turned my back on you. I've seen you at some very low points- Klonopin, rehab, morning sickness, mood swings, heart break, hang overs... I was always there."

"Then why did you leave now?"

"You wouldn't listen to me. I tried to stay, I told you the hard truth. I warned you about Don, the drinking and the effects it would have on your marriage. I practically raised your daughters for you during that time and never once did you see. Lindsey and I were hopeless. You wouldn't help yourself, you just kept going to Don instead of attacking the real issue. You were so verbally abusive at times, Stevie. Through that I could have stayed before you had Aria and Willow but my heart broke for them. I would be no help to you or those girls if I broke down too. I had to clear my head, I needed time away. Do you understand how hard that was? How hard it was to tell Aria she needed to take care of you? You stole her childhood, Stevie!" Karen raised her voice but I don't think she meant to. She was just getting so frustrated and upset. I lay my head on her shoulder and sobbed.

"I'm so sorry, Karen"

"Please say you will try to get better. I will stay and help if you promise me you will try."

"I will, I'll do it. What are the doctors suggesting?"

"A program, in patient."

"My tour..."

"Postpone it. You can't tour if you die. I know you don't like to hear it and it sounds morbid but if you keep going like this, your liver and kidneys will shut down and you will die. No touring, no happy family, no fabulous clothes, no vacations, no shopping...you will be dead. Do you hear me?" I nod. "I love you too much to lose you"

"I love you too." I grab a tissue to catch my tears, wadding it up on my hand. "When we get back, will you stay with us again?"

"I'm getting rid of everything alcoholic in that house and I will be watching you like a hawk to make sure no one buys you anything and you can't buy anything for yourself. Are you sure you want me back in there, living with you? This isn't a joke."

"No, I want that. I clearly don't know what's best for me. I surrender." I tell her and she looks at me a little shocked that I've agreed.

"Okay. Let me check and see when you will be discharged"

"Okay, thank you" I tell her and she leaves the room. I take a deep breath, preparing myself for what lies ahead. I can't wait to go back home and take care of myself, my house, my children and my husband. I suppose I'm a fool to believe he will want anything to do with me but I have to try and win him back. Some how, some way.

They put the paperwork together and refer me to a doctor closer to the cabin up north. I will need check ups often to make sure I haven't caused any real damage to my heart, my liver or kidneys due to my alcohol abuse.

Karen arranges for my things to be gathered and takes care of business for me. We board a plane and head back to California. It's then that I take the opportunity to I pour my heart and mind out onto the pages of my journal and I refer to her as my 'Drill Sargent' but only in the most loving way. I didn't realize how much of a mess things had gotten until I 'woke up'. Karen watches over me, making sure I'm okay, maybe a little too much. The detox period, I'm told, is going to be hell and she tells me I need to prepare myself now. Klonopin was definitely its own ring of hell and she watched me get clean all those years ago. The car takes us from the airport to my house in Los Angeles and our rental awaits us. She loads my bags back up, we change cars and we hit the road. The ride is a long one but we have taken it so many times before. Her phone keeps ringing but she won't pick it up, not when she's driving.

"Stevie, I know you're busy honey but will you see who it is?" she asks sweetly and I oblige.

"Hello?" I say, unsure if I've actually answered the call or ended it. I hear nothing so I flip it closed again. "You know I'm not good with these things...I'm sorry"

"It's okay. If it's important they will leave a message"

"Right!" I agree and we continue driving, listening to the radio quietly. It begins to rain and she turns her wipers on, frustrated at the timing.

"Why did you guys have to move all the way up here?"

"Ask Lindsey" I shrug. "But isn't it beautiful?"

"That's true. It's gorgeous up here and the house is like nothing I've ever seen."

"We should build you a little house!" I suggest excitedly. "Then you could get a break from me sometimes"

She laughs. "Not really because I could just hear you calling for me, complaining about having to walk,  in platforms no less, to get me to answer the phone or ask me about the schedule."

"That's not true!"

"Oh it would be! And soon enough my little quiet house would look like a shrine to you, littered with toys and candles"

"Well, I still think it's a good idea"

"I bet you do" she says with a smile.

When we arrive, Karen brings my bags inside. I look up from my journaling and smile, realizing we are finally home. I get out, walking quickly to get out of the rain and shut the door behind me fast. The wind was blowing in hard gusts and it took all my strength to get the door to catch.

"I'm home!" I call. "Aria? Willow?" I head up the stairs and their rooms are empty. "Lindsey?" Karen comes out of my room with a sad expression on her face.

"Kar, where is everyone?"

"Honey, he left"

"What do you mean? Left? To go where?"

"I don't know" she says and I suddenly feel very faint. I lean against the doorway and feel tears falling down my cheeks. She wipes them away and I study her expression.

"Did you know? Did he tell you something?"

"All I know is that he and the girls are safe and can't wait to see you when you get better"

"So he took them from me?" I ask and Karen nods.

"But only for a little while. You need to focus on getting better"

"Without them I have no reason to live" I fall to the floor, my knees buckling as I sob. My chest heaves as I try to catch my breath but I can't calm down. She puts her arms around me, rocking me back and forth.

"Shhhhhhh" She says, continuing to rock me. "Everything is going to be okay" she promises but I don't believe her.

A/N: I'm sorry, I couldn't help posting this one. Still might totally put up another chapter tomorrow though.