Raymond Van-nuyes said for the first time in his entire life and immortal life combined a request that made him grit his teeth mad asking unhappily. "Will you pretty pretty please with a cherry on top get your ass over her and pretend to be Chassidy please, Solaris?" Raymond asked wit a fake smile. "He can do better." Chassidy replied. Raymond jerked his attention torwards Chassidy and made the hairs on her neck stand up. "Kidding." Chassidy replied lowly. Raymond turned his attention back to Solaris. "Ummmmm." Solaris said tapping her chin. "What do you think Prixie? Should I help Ray Ray or make him suffer some more at being nice for a change?" Solaris asked her fairy god mother sitting with one leg crossed over the other on Solaris shoulder looking elegant. "Yeah, I think he might blow a fuse if you don't help." Prixie replied laughing.

Solaris walked over and extended her hand in front of Raymond, whom took the phone from his back pocket and smacked it in Solaris open hand saying "Thank you very much." Raymond said through clenched teeth. "Anytime Champ." Solaris replied elbowing Raymond softly. Solaris looked through the messages for a minute before looking at Chassidy. "What?" Chassidy asked after a long and uncomfortable stare from Solaris made her cover her face with her hand to stop Solaris from staring. "You put a picture of you wearing whipped cream on display for everyone to see?" Solaris asked shaking her head. "I put #comelickthewhip under it also. I got like two thousand likes. Ha ha." Chassidy replied shaking her butt and saying "Heyyy", as she danced around. "Can I see it?" Larry Joe asked. "NO!" Chassidy and Solaris replied simultaneously. "We got action ladies and Raymond." Solaris said when a chime came in. "Probably just another like for little whip whip." Chassidy said referring to herself as "whip whip".

When Solaris was done reading the message, everyone turned towards Chassidy and after a brief stare of silence, burst out laughing. "HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!" Everyone present laughed hysterically. "Sorry Solaris, I guess I'm going to have to start getting used to you as a man, because you could not pay me enough to even consider that. Hell to the naw!" Chassidy yelled out standing up and stretching. "Nope, I won't take one for the team on that one. Hell no no mofo." Chassidy said repeating her objection. Solaris started to fake cry and had everyone hugging her and giving Chassidy the evil eye. Prixie even went to the extent of flipping off Chassidy. "Oh my god, you all are out to get me and make my life miserable. Fine, I'll send the creep a picture of my boobs." Chassidy reluctantly agreed. Everyone started smiling again and the fake tears stopped flowing and Prixie started blowing kisses instead of flipping birds at Chassidy.

"I took some night classes for photography last summer." Larry Joe announced. "Oh sure, but I like my photographer to be hands on and touch me all over. Is that going to be a problem?" Chassidy asked loudly. "Nope, not a problem at all." Larry Joe said shaking his head. "In your dreams Polaroid boy!" Chassidy yelled out. "When you propose to me I might let you see them, but without a ring on my finger, the twins are staying inside and fully clothed."Chassidy shook her perfect breasts up and down at Larry Joe.

Chassidy and Solaris went into the bathroom with a camera and no bra. Chassidy wasn't as nervous when it was just the two of them. Vamoosh said it had to be a video, so he knew it wasn't photo shopped." Solaris said turning the camera to video on the device. "Smart little fucker." Chassidy exclaimed though clenched teeth. "Okay lose the shirt and pose, baby!" Solaris said laughing. "Your an animal, baby!" Solaris yelled mimicking the Austin powers movie while growling as she took a video. Chassidy kept the same pose and unhappy blank face, holding her middle finger up and frowning toward the camera. "Perfect." Solaris said after rewatching the 3 second flick. "They are quite nice aren't they baby." Chassidy replied, referring to her perfect breasts.

"Well Chass, I was talking about the angle I used, not about your fun bags Princess Ego of nostalgiaville." Solaris exclaimed and fist pumped the air at the new insult she had came up with on the spot. "Whatever you say Mister Mangina." Chassidy rapid fire replied a new insult that made her run around in circles as they left the bathroom, pretending that she had just made the winning shot in the championship game. "Oh no she didn't! And the crowd is up on their feet chanting. "Chas-si-dy! Chas-si-dy! If she can't do it nobody can!" Chassidy yelled into her hand cupped Megaphone she made with her hands. "When we get you and the musty puppy switched back, I'm going to chop off Vamooshes little canoosh and stuff it down his throat and video tape that and send it to his entire followers on social media." Chassidy said with an intent look in her eyes, as if she has been planning this dick removal for longer than today when he asked for a video of her breasts. "You should do some pretend porn so that this video is not that special and worthless when all Vamoosh would have to do is log into a porn website and see you with a bunch of guys having pretend porno sex." Chassidy said randomly.

The random request from Solaris made Chassidy stop walking and get the most confused look on her face. "What the hell is pretend porn and why do you know of its existence?" Chassidy asked Solaris completely serious. "What I was in a dominatrix relationship in the 90's and I was high on vicaine (cocaine for vampires) and that shit wasn't cheap." Solaris said of her younger years as a teenager stuck in an immortal 105 year olds body that partied to hard and fucked to much and made a lot of bad choices and made a lot of hippie rocker friends in the process. She would be a vampire Jenny from forest gump. "What does it do to you when you take vicaine?" Chassidy asked intuitively. "Promise you will never take it and I'll tell you." Solaris said holding out her pinky finger to mean that she would swear on their sistership never to break that vow. "Ugh, I know I'm missing out on a giant roller coaster of Amazeballs if I have to pinky-winky promise. Fine." Chassidy agreed locking pinky's with Solaris.

"It was the best feeling you could imagine feeling for a good 6 minutes and then your entire body ached and you couldn't function without another dose to feel like Tom Brady does when he's at home banging his super model wife after winning another ring in the Superbowl. I would like to be him for like an hour, two hours tops and I would get Gisele prego in the first fifteen to twenty seconds of being Mr quarterback and would make everyone, even small fan children, call me Mr. quarterback. I would get halftime fired up Tom Brady angry if someone called me Tom or Gisele's husband and probably spit on the person that decided they were going to go to work today and take a dump in Tom Bradys wheaties the morning of the Superbowl and get a overly aggressive little man syndrome mental sideline breakdown over a fucking game of men in tights grabbing each other and wrestling over some balls sounds more gay than a truck stop full of semi-gay truckers.(get it? A semi-gay trucker?)
Anyways Gisele I love you and your super model fine and if your ever not "Miss linebacker" anymore, call me.( by the way I am on fire with these nicknames. "Miss Universe" to "Miss linebacker" and I bet nobody was awesome enough to come up with those extremely awesome nicknames before I did. I'm overly jealous of said nicknames now and need to revamp my "Bada-Bing" nickname that I was oh so bingin proud of until Tom just won another game of "taking awesome nicknames from me" game. Its probably not even a game, but if it was, Tom Brady would most likely win a ring as the champion and get to bang his hot wife for winning as a consolation prize. I would win the superbowl once a week if Gisele was dumb enough to let me degrade her angelic skin with my imperfectional, but slightly above average winkey. I wonder what will happen if their kids ever lost a sports game. Tom will disown them or make them walk home after the game. Ha ha. "Losers, beat their feet home! O'Bradys rule!" Then drive away and keeping up his middle finger as he drove off with Gisele giving him a hand job for winning the Bad parenting game).

"Sent." Solaris said halfheartedly. "I bet he has candles lit and a blow-up doll on standby for this occasion." Chassidy said disgusted knowing the weird little Indian warlock probably was degrading Chassidy as we speak. "I bet he has a sex shrine with your pictures and now video all over the sticky closet shrine." Solaris joked and made Chassidy regret sending her bare breasts to a pervert so that he can get his presence blessed with Chassidy moments after a jerk session until he had nothing left in the clip and was firing blanks after awhile. The agreement was to get them to Gerry through the Bermuda triangle passage to the warlocks wedding night private island on Planet Tiytunem. Which was seven billion light years straight down from Planet Earth to the next Galaxy and habitable Planet that warlocks took claim of as a love shack. It had hundred if not thousand of identical circular islands all over the planet that had all been renovated and stocked with years and years of supplies that newly locks took their new spouse to get away and be alone until they had enough magical strength to either widow themselves from going crazy or going back home to earth happily married and relaxed. It was really 50/50 on positive feedback , because when you are forced to live on an island with someone and nobody else to talk to for a decade might sound the whistle for the coo-coo crazy train.

Some killed their spouse's and came up with the weirdest and least thought up scenarios on what happened to their newlywed spouse. "She ran away,"He got ate by a sea creature." which was only used once when they found out the planet held no sea life and it was literally just a water planet with coaster islands all over it. It was always night and always day on this weird tiny flying juice box of a planet though, which was awesome. There was a constant sunrise or approaching sunset that never fully ended or began. If you looked to the horizon on the west side of the island you would see a beautiful sunset that stayed on the horizon 24/7. Then if you ran over to the East side of the island you could catch the already in motion sunrise that stayed the same so you wouldn't miss anything. There was no humidity because it never rained. You could dive into the ocean and gulp yourself to quinchable heights. Once a year, Something pretty awesome happened and the planet collides with a gas planet to keep the momentum of the water planet going. Its really like comparing that to Earths Eclipse with the moon, except this planets moon is made up of gasses and clouds and it is like bumping into a pillow planet. Only downside of the event is the gasses smell like rotten eggs for about an hour when the planets collide. Its actually a Paradise except the wrong travelers own it and don't take care of it. The ocean is filling up with garbage and pool party decorations that made the once beautiful paradise a warlocks slums that will be inhabitable in the coming decades.

"He's all primed up and on his way over here with a black-market book of darken magic that will get us to the slimy paradise. Solaris joked, but nobody got it. "Who all is going?" Chassidy asked. "I think I should go alone." Solaris said softly unsure if it was the right thing to say. Very quickly Solaris noticed that she said something so dumb that even Chassidy wouldn't say something stupid like that comment from Raymond. "I can only bring one person, otherwise I won't be able to get Jensen and Gerry back." Vamoosh said making the crowd of angry Vampires and werewolves look at this warlock with distaste. "Pervert you will do whatever I tell you to do little man. Do you understand me?" Chassidy said seductively. "No, you shut up you stupid monkey titty woman. Your tits are saggy and have giant orangutan nipples like on the animal planet." Vamoosh said angrily throwing his fist at Chassidy and with an extremely noticeable Indian accent. "What in the fuck did you say about my bombshell breasts?" Chassidy yelled. Vamoosh spit in disgust and showed Chassidy the video he received of a topless Larry Joe with a wig on resembling Chassidy almost. Chassidy almost burst out in laughter and turned her attention to a blushing Larry Joe who was so red faced embarrassed that he had to walk outside before he ruined it. Chassidy ran out behind him and when Larry Joe turned around Chassidy leaped up and wrapped her legs around his waist and started making out with him ferociously and Larry Joe started to turn almost from the suspense and endorphins that nuclearized throughout his body.

"I love you." Larry Joe said to Chassidy after they stopped kissing. "Oh. I think you are swell to." Chassidy replied with huge eyes before giving Larry Joe a soft punch on the chin. "I know you don't feel the same was back, but I have been in love with you since 9th grade math class when I saw you sitting by yourself in the back of the class wearing a sweater with the hood up and blue jeans that fit your body perfect. Oh and your pink cowboy belt that made your outfit the most unmatched and in complete disarray, but when you pushed your bangs behind your ear and looked up at me, I saw nothing but perfection and beauty under those rags you were wearing." Larry Joe said and felt utterly embarrassed. "Awww, you remember what I was wearing the first time you saw me?" Chassidy exclaimed with her hands up to her face and tilting her head to the left. "It was the happiest day of my life seeing you, so I wouldn't forget anything about that day." Larry Joe said evenly and lowered Chassidy back down to the ground, but she never broke eye contact with him.

"After this is all done, you and I are getting married and your never allowed to look at other women again." Chassidy said cheerfully and kissed Larry Joe and lifted her right foot up like a damsel in the old black and white love films. Chassidy skipped back inside the house with Larry Joe waiting to make sure the coast was clear and jumped up in the air and clicked his heels together and fist pumped himself when he finally got the love of his life to notice him.

Back inside everyone gathered round the dinner table with the Dark arts book that Vamoosh literally had to jerk off another warlock in a dark alley to get was open to the Waterfall Planet spell. "Its very, very simple okay. I will explain is once and if you not listen then I do care and you wind up in outer space by yourself I dont give shits!" Vamoosh yelled loudly. "Hey Vamoosh? If you didn't like the video of me so much, why did you come still?" Chassidy asked mischievously. "Because I made deal, you hairy jungle monkey!" Vamoosh yelled his vague response. "What the matter. You idiots no want my help, fine I leave!" Vamoosh started to pack up his belongings before Solaris stopped him. "Please Vamoosh, I need your help to get back to my own body and thank you for helping and being a man of your word." Solaris said softly placing hand over Vamooshes seductive forgetting that she was still a hairy muscular man and not a sweet angelic woman. "Get your nasty gay man hands off of me!" Vamoosh squealed at the end of the demand.

"You might be woman soul but you still got manly parts that I don't want up in me, so get back and don't touch the merchandise. It to expensive. You no be able to afford this brown ass homo." Vamoosh yelled and licked his finger and sizzled when he touched his butt.

"ENOUGH!" Raymond roared loudly completely fed up. "Oh my, hold me gay boy." Vamoosh said softly hiding behind Solaris. "Varoo, or whatever your name is get Solaris to this planet and back in her body in the next 60 seconds or I will shove your own ass down your own throat!" Raymond yelled with his fangs protruding. "Okay we outta here!" Vamoosh yelled and grabbed Solaris and started chanting before a wind tunnel started coming out of the Dark arts book on the table until the wind tunnel engulfed Vamoosh and Solaris and spun until sparks started shooting from the mini tornado that was sparking like the fourth of July but could see a pink triangle forming above the wind tunnel. The house had chairs and decorative items spinning round in circles in the living room. When the wind got so extreme that everyone in the house had covered their eyes from debree suddenly the tornado in the kitchen that had Solaris and Vamoosh trapped in poofed and Vamoosh, Solaris and the Book of twister were gone.

"Now what?" Chassidy asked of the elephant in the room. "We wait." Raymond answered while sitting down.