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s e v e n

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There's only one thing more painful than dying...that's breaking your baby brother's heart. He was the last one I saw...the last one I heard...the one person I loved more than anything.

I was watching, from above. It was seconds after I had just died, even though it felt like years. I could tell because Ron was still there...next to me. So that's how dying feels, like someone just cuts your life's string with scissors and your gone...just like that. My baby brother was looking at my body on the bed in the center of the room. He must've realized I had died, because he slowly walked out of the room, tears falling. I followed him. He met up with Lady and Crystal. They all were crying; it was too much for me. I started crying too. Lady looked up, right at me.

Could she see me? She said she could. I walked behind them, looking down. I followed them all the way to the foster home, following the car that carried me to my deathbed.

When they entered the home, I appeared in front of them. Ron ran through me to the blue archway...heading for his room. Crystal went to the pink one...heading for her room. Only Lady stayed in front of me. She seemed to see me, because she looked at me.

"Now that you're a spirit...you need to cross over, Rogue," I looked passed her, behind her.

A white light was behind her. "Do you see it, Rogue?"

I didn't stop looking at it. "See what?"

"The light...it's for you," I nodded. "But I won't go...not until I talk to Ron,"

"Wait, Rogue..." I disappeared.

Ron was on his bed, sobbing it sounded like. His face told me everything. He wanted to die too. No...he can't. I won't let him. I went next to his bed. The lamp was the only thing showing me what was happening.

"Ron...can you hear me?" He said nothing. He didn't even move. Then I heard Lady at the door.

"Open up Ron! Please...I need to talk to you!" He looked agitated. "No! Just leave me alone to die!" My stomach dropped. Ron was trying to cut himself with anything he could find.

"No! Ron! Please stop!" He never heard me. He just kept trying to cut himself. I then made what he was holding fly to the wall. It made a clunking noise against the wooden wall and it fell to the floor.

"What...whose there!" He ran to pick it up again. I wouldn't let him get near it. "Please, Ron...stop," I tried to touch his face. He put his hand up slowly to where mine was, but his hand went through mine.

That's when Lady was able to open the door.

"Ron!" She saw his wrist was red from him trying to cut it. His hand was on his face where mine was touching him. "Lady...I feel something...here," I looked up at her.

"Ron, you should know that your sister is here with you..." He started to cry. "Don't say that! She's dead! Don't you understand?" He ran out of the room.

"Lady...he can't see me! I have to talk to him! You have to help me!" She nodded. "Yes...I will help you..."

"He's trying to kill himself, Lady! I have to stop him!" I disappeared again.

I found him again...not playing, not smiling; he was just sitting by himself with his head down on one of the beanbags. I appeared next to him. I watched him, for a long time. He didn't move at all.

Crystal...I disappeared.

I found Crystal in her room. She had found the portraits I had in my knapsack. She was sobbing, looking at every portrait. I stepped closer. She found the portrait of my daddy tickling me. I thought I'd never see that portrait again. I took another step forward. It was making me smile...I never thought I would ever smile again either...until I saw my daddy. It's obvious she can't see me because she would have already. So I can't do anything else here either.

"Rogue?" I turned.

"Daddy? It's really you!" I went to hug him.

"What happened my dear?" My smile faded. "Where's Ron?"

"Oh, well I died from what mother died from...a heart attack and cancer. It happened less than an hour ago...wait! Why haven't you crossed over yet?"

"Whoa...you're too young to have a heart attack. I haven't yet because I was waiting for you..."

"You waited for me all this time? Why? I'm not crossing over yet until I know Ron won't try to kill himself..."

"Ron's trying to kill himself?" I nodded.

"Yes...he wants to be with me, since I died, he only wishes to die too...and I'm not gonna let him. I've been getting help from Lady, my foster parent, because she is a soul speaker. She can see me,"

"Well, take me to this soul speaker. Why aren't you with Ron anyway?"

"I wanted to check on my friend over there. She's looking at the portraits I had. I miss her a lot," He looked over too.

"Oh, well, have you tried to talk to Ron yet?" I nodded.

"Yes, but he's being stubborn. He won't believe Lady and he keeps running away. I've already stopped him from trying to cut himself already...daddy I'm worried about him. I'm not leaving until I know he will be fine. Come on,"

I led him to where Lady was. She was with Ron where I left him. She was trying to get him to calm down. The black room never felt so depressing.

"Lady!" She turned and stepped closer. "Rogue? Where have you been?"

"In my room with Crystal...then my daddy found me! He wishes to help with Ron, only then will we cross over,"

Lady nodded. "Yes, well, he's not letting me talk to him still," I started to cry.

"My life is falling apart...he's like that because of me!" I walked over to him.

"Ron..." Lady tries again. She sits back down next to him. "I said go away! I don't want to talk to you! Not to anyone!" He tried to push Lady away from him.

"Your sister is back...she's with me..." Ron looked up and looks around. "Liar! She's not here! She will never be back! I stood next to her when she died! Do you know how that feels? Watching someone just die? Feeling her skin turn colder than ice? Watching the color flush out of her face?" He covers his face again. I looked up at daddy. "See? What should I do daddy?" Then I had an idea.

"Lady! Tell him about the time when he made me feel better when he cared that I was upset. That day up in my room back at home when momma was still here. He wouldn't leave me alone till I was feeling better," Lady nodded. She turned back to Ron.

"Ron, your sister wishes to thank you for making her feel better that day back at home...when your momma was still here. She says she wouldn't have ever felt better if you didn't care,"

He didn't move.

Then he slowly peeked up from his arm. "How did you know that? You're making that up!"

"Tell him about that day he found the portrait of him when he first started to walk in my knapsack and I told him, 'Oh silly Ron!' And then he looked up at me and I said, 'Of course I kept it! It's a portrait of my baby brother that I love so very much!' The day momma died," A tear dropped from remembering that painful day. Lady looked back at him.

"Why do you keep looking over there?" His face looked angry. It hurt me so to see him like that.

"Your sister remembers the day your mother died. When you found the portrait of you in her knapsack when you first started to walk..." Ron's angry face was fading a little. "And you asked why she kept it, and she replied, 'Oh silly Ron!' And then you looked up at her and she said, 'Of course I kept it! It's a portrait of my baby brother that I love so very much!'" Lady smiled, because she didn't know that before. Ron was smiling a little now. "She really is here," I smiled. "Yes she is...and it hurts her to see you so upset like you are," He looked down. "But I only want to be with her. Where ever she goes, I want to go,"

"No silly Ron! I want you to keep living your life..." Everything I said, Lady repeated for Ron to hear. "I want to see you grow up big and strong. I want to see you be happy..." I paused for a moment. I started to tear up. Daddy walked up behind me and wrapped me in his arms. Crystal was watching and listening.

"I want you to know that you are always in my heart. No! My heart is you!" He smiled after Lady told him that. "If you try to harm yourself...my heart hurts too...I really meant what I said back then. When I said I really loved you. When I saw you after I had died, the only thing that hurt me then was seeing that I had broken your heart..." Lady was tearing up too. Daddy's grip tightened.

Ron was looking at Lady, tearing up as well. "Can she hear me, Lady?" She nodded. Crystal had walked up next to Lady now. "Rogue...if that's all you want, then I don't see why I shouldn't. I just wanted to be with you. But...to you...I am always with you...and now I know I am...now I believe in myself so much more...I always wanted to say that I was glad to have a sister like you, Rogue. I love you...too much to name in words...I'm going to dedicate my life to you. I'm going to make you my proud big sister...more proud than you are right now. You don't have to stay here any longer. I want you to go see daddy and mommy...be sure to show them how proud I make you. How proud I am that you are my sister," He paused to wipe his face with his shirt.

"I'm sorry that I didn't believe in you before...I was just upset over something I never lost...I never lost you, Rogue, because now you are my heart too," He smiled and stood up from the beanbag. I looked up. I saw something bright.

"It's so beautiful..." Lady looked at me. "Daddy...do you see it?" He nodded. "I've seen it for years...but I felt like something was holding me back...or like I didn't deserve to go in..."

"She sees the light, Ron, she's with your daddy...she's ready now..." I looked at him; his smiling face gave me hope. "Please tell him I love him...so much..." I turned and walked a little closer to the light, with daddy right behind me. My face brightened.

"Momma!" I turned around. "Daddy! Look! There's momma!" I turned back around. Momma was looking behind me.

"Ron..." Momma saw Ron standing over there. "Rogue, tell Ron that I love him so much...and that I'm proud of him," I nodded and turned to Lady. She also nodded. She turned to Ron and he looked up at her with his watery eyes. "Rogue sees your mother in the light...and she wishes to tell you how proud she is of you...and that she loves you so very much," Ron smiled, bigger than I've ever seen since I died.

I turned to walk to the light some more. "Rogue, my dear daughter," I looked up at her. "I'm so sorry...I'm a terrible mother..." I nodded no. "No momma...you were the perfect mother...I couldn't have asked for anything more...it's fine...it wasn't your fault...I'm coming to peace...and now I'm where I belong," She smiled, so I smiled back. Lady was glad to see that I understood what my mother's intentions were.

Then I saw Crystal standing there, next to Lady. I stopped for a moment.

"Oh, and Lady..." She turned and looked up at me. "Make sure to tell Crystal as well, that she was my best friend and still is...she will also forever stay in my heart and I miss her so very much...no...she's more then that. She's like my sister. If she hurts, then I hurt too. I don't want anyone to miss me. Just remember the good times. That's the only way I will be happy," I was looking at Crystal. She was tearing up, looking at Ron. "I want them to be happy...that was my mistake...I cried and was upset all the time because I thought I'd lost my daddy...he tells me he stayed because he was waiting for me...but now I think I kept him here for all of these years...I don't want them to live their life always missing me, I just want them to be happy...and be themselves...have fun and live their life," Lady nodded. "I will..." She smiled, "You have such wisdom for such a young girl, Rogue...everyone should learn from you,"

Daddy was right behind me, holding my hand. I knew Ron would be ok now. He's a strong boy, my baby brother. I knew Crystal would do great things in her life. I turned one last time. "Lady...tell Ron that he is a strong boy...and always give it a hundred and ten percent for me..."

She nodded. "Also, tell them both that they will do great things in their lives. Things that will change the world forever,"

"I will...good-bye, Rogue,"

Then when I turned around, I saw someone walk through the front door of the home...he was in a firefighter uniform! He walked up to Lady. "Yes?"

"Joey?" I looked up at dad...he was looking at him. Lady must've understood what was going on here.

She turned to the firefighter. "Are you here for one of your comrades, Thomas?" He looked at her with a confused face. "How did you know? I heard his kids were put here so I thought he maybe here...is he?" She nodded.

"He was one of my best friends, he was the one I saved that day," I was looking up at him. "Really?" I turned to Lady. She nodded. Lady turned back to Joey.

"Joey, Thomas and his daughter are here..." She turned to the side and looked at Ron. "And his son is there," She turned back to him. "You...you mean his daughter died to?" She nodded. Ron had walked up to him. "You look like daddy...of course I never seen him but in pictures," Joey smiled at him. "Well, your dad was a good guy..."

"That's what my sister told me!" He smiled too.

"Just let Joey know, Lady, that I have no regrets and I want him to love his two daughters and his wife...more than what I was able to do...he was my best friend...and I miss him so much," His grip on me tightened. Lady nodded. "Joey, Thomas wants you to know that he has no regrets and you were his best friend. He wants you to love your family, more than what he was able to do," He nodded, with a single tear falling. "I will, thank you Thomas...good-bye," He smiled, that's all he wanted, was to tell him good-bye.

I glanced over at my momma, then at my daddy, then back to Lady. "Lady, thank you...for being my friend..." She had looked back up at me. "You've brought me closer to my family then I've ever done myself...I can't ever thank you enough...just keep doing what you're doing...it's a good thing," Lady was watching me and she waved. I waved back.

I smiled one last time. I glanced at every one of them. Then we turned and disappeared into the light together.

Lady turned to Ron, Joey and Crystal; one last tear was falling.

"They're gone,"

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