Special: Christmas in July
[I decided to copy the show's Christmas segment, because it was just way too short, and I wanted more of the cast in it! So this is my new and expanded version. Enjoy!
The plot stuff will be back after this.]
***
Christmas day, everyone woke up early. Shine had carols on before breakfast was even ready. Some really, really old carols no one else even knew. Jiro and Kaminari wanted to put on more of the newer ones they were used to. They compromised by alternating every other song or so.
Eri was at the dorms that day, and Shine had promised to make sugar cookies so they could frost them, and Sato had already made a bunch of other treats.... Bakugo even pitched in, with some reverse psychology persuasion from the squad.
And it was the one day of the year Deku didn't freak out about training, so that was something.
Iida still went about organizing everything-- really, far too much-- until Wally finally distracted him by getting him to help arrange the gifts around the tree.
The students had elected to do a gift exchange rather than put the expense of buying everyone gifts on each other.
Aizawa had nowhere else to go today, so he was asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag, and everyone kept stepping over or around him, much to their entertainment, and Eri thought it was the best joke ever.
Though she was a bit confused about what you do on Christmas. She said "Trick or treat" and "begone spirits" or something like that.
"Aizawa, you did tell her what Christmas is, right?" Shine said to him.
"I found a video online to explain holidays and played it for her," Aizawa said.
"A 6 year old can't sort that out," Shine scolded him, "Look at her. She's all confused."
"Well, she's got the general idea," Aizawa said.
"That won't do at all. Holidays are nothing if you don't find some significance in them," Shine said.
Aizawa rolled his eyes. "You know, it's people like you who ruin this day for me."
"It's people like you who ruin the day for everyone else," Shine retorted.
Aizawa ignored that. "You explain it, if it's so important. I'm going to sleep." And he did.
After a quick survey, Wally and Shine realized no one actually knew what Christmas was about, but they proudly told them, "It's a really romantic holiday."
"Romantic?" Wally said, "How so?"
"You know, everyone's together. Couples like to spend Christmas together," Mina said.
"I guess there are a lot of Christmas Hallmark movies," Shine reflected.
"Please don't bring up that corny channel today." Wally made a traumatized face. "Once was enough."
"My grandma only watches that, you know," Shine chided him.
"Hallmark.... That sounds familiar..." Mina said.
"Oh, they used to make cards," Momo said, "I remember. We got one once.... I think they went out of business a few years ago."
"What?" Shine said, "How dreadful."
"Oh yeah, don't know how we'll live without... cards..." Wally said.
Shine swatted him. "Why don't you help with the cookies?"
"I'll help taste all of them, Shine." Wally saluted her. "It will be rough. It will be dangerous, but I'm your man!"
"I have a boyfriend who can beat things faster than an electric mixer but hates baking," Shine said.,"Isn't that just sad? Well, what are you working on, Mina?"
"I was hoping we'd get some dancing in," Mina said, "But most important! We have to watch Christmas specials. I'm going to see what's on."
"Ah, I bet none of the ones I know will be on" Shine sighed, "Maybe I can YapTube them..."
***
Later in the morning, 1-B joined them, because Wally invited them. Ibara became the third person to actually recognize any of the songs Shine was playing. Even she didn't know all of them.
"I like the old hymn ones too," she said.
"Yes, sister! Thank you," Shine said, "Finally! All they want to listen to is that pop nonsense about Santa and stuff."
"What? Don't tell me you don't like Santa!" Kaminari said.
"I do, but if I hear Santa Baby playing over those speaker, I'm giving Bakugo permission to blow them up," Shine said.
"That song is terrible," Momo agreed, "My mother hates it."
"Yes, who doesn't?" Ibara said, "But I love what you did with your tree. It's so organized."
Iida beamed. "All to make things easier."
"I guess you are always thinking of how to make things simpler for your class," Ibara said.
"Oh, sure. Simpler," Sero muttered.
"Shine-sama, I want to frost cookies." Eri tugged Shine's dress.
"Okay, sweetie, they're almost ready... Actually, some are ready, but we have to finish the frosting. Turns out brown and black frosting is really hard to make," Shine said.
"Can't help you. I usually don't use that kind of frosting," Sato said.
"Why do we need black frosting?" Tsuyu asked in passing.
"It was the only way Tokoyami would agree to do a cookie," Shine said.
"It must be black, like my soul," Tokoyami spoke up.
"Don't say that about yourself," Shine scolded.
"Bakugo!" Wally yelled from the kitchen, "don't turn it up that high, it'll go everywhere--right.... Uh, Shine, where's the--?"
"Top of the fridge. Left," Shine answered, rolling her eyes.
"Thanks..."
"You guys sure are busy," Kendo said, "We hardly did more than decorate at our dorm."
"But we were far superior to yours," Monoma began.
"Dude," Kirishima said, "can we just... call a truce? It's Christmas after all."
"Yeah, man, not everything's a competition," Kaminari said.
Monoma paused. "Well... I suppose it is a holiday.... I guess your decor is adequate."
"Ugh," Kendo rolled her eyes.
"Bro!" Tetsutetsu yelled at Kirishima, "Let's try to open those cracker things. I'll race you."
"Crackers?" Kendo said.
"Yes, apparently no one here uses them, but I found a bunch while I was shopping," Shine said, "You pull them open and goodies pop out. I wanted Eri to try too, so, boys, don't go through them all. Leave some for us."
"Yes, Miss Likstar. Sure thing," Kirishima called.
"If you ladies want to go outside, we have a fire to roast marshmallows or chestnuts on. Whatever your flavor is," Shine added.
"Yes, someone thought it would be a fun idea," Momo said, "I think it was Bakugo... Something about burning stuff."
"That guy scares me," Kendo said, "but it sounds fun. I'mma try it." She headed for the back.
Shine turned and snatched Mineta back just as he was hanging mistletoe over the doorway. "No you don't. No tricks today." [I can't be the only one shocked he didn't canonically do that.]
"But it's tradition," Mineta whined.
"So is getting a lump of coal if you've been a bad boy. What's your point?" Shine retorted.
Mineta gave up.
Shine looked over at Aizawa. "Aren't you going to get up and do anything fun, Eraser?"
"No. This is fun." He pulled up his sleeping bag.
"Come frost with us," Eri said to him.
"Maybe later," Eraser said.
Shine shook her head. "Don't worry, Eri. He'll get up. I know for a fact. He'll have to if he wants to run."
Eraser opened one eye. "Why would I run?"
"I invited some other guests who didn't have anywhere else to hang for the holiday," Shine said, "I wanted some actual grown up friends here, and other than All Might, I only knew one other person."
"All Might is coming!" Deku said, hearing this.
"I'm pretty sure he was coming anyway," Shine said.
"You didn't..." Aizawa paled.
"And it should be any moment now." Shine checked her phone. "Ah, yes. She's here." She went to the door.
Aizawa made a mad dash for the hall but tripped on his sleeping bag.
Shine opened the door, and Miss Joke came bustling in covered in snow (it had started snowing outside). "Why hello, Shine. Merry Christmas."
"Hello, Emi. Ditto to you," Shine said, smiling, "Aw.. I love your outfit. You look like an elf."
"That's the idea. Wow, this place looks so festive," Miss Joke said, "Oh, hi, Eraser," just as he was slinking away.
Eri noticed. "Aizawa-san, where are you going? It's time to make cookies." She grabbed his leg.
"I'm real glad to see Eri so assertive now," Shine said.
"Yes, she's so cute," Emi said, "Isn't this a lot of strangers for her?"
"No, she's doing okay. She's too excited to mind," Shine said, pointing to the gifts.
Eri eyed Miss Joke, who smiled winningly. "Hi, sweetie. Aren't you just a little snow angel?"
Eri didn't smile.
"This is Emi," Shine told her, "She's funny."
"I swear, if you buzz her..." Aizawa glared at Emi.
"I wouldn't do that to a kid, Eraser. Just you," Miss Joke said smugly, "Now you've got to tell me, Shine, that we're having Christmas karaoke."
"Is that a thing?" Shine said hopefully.
"Of course it's a thing!" Emi said.
"No, it isn't!" Aizawa said, "And I'm not doing it."
"Oh, please, Eraser, I know I couldn't get you drunk enough to do that in front of students." Emi waved him off. "But the rest of us can."
"I'll ask Jiro if we can use her mics," Shine said.
Jiro agreed to it, and then all the class started begging her to also do a Christmas performance for them. Even 1-B joined in. "Yeah, you were so good," they said, "It'd be like having our own mini-concert."
Jiro blushingly finally agreed.
"You have to go after we do karaoke though," Shine said, "Because we'll all sound terrible by comparison if you go first."
Wally reappeared. "Well, after quite a few mishaps, I think we finally have the frosting done... FYI, Bakugo cannot make cookies. I'm pretty sure he can only do angry food."
"What is angry food?" Emi asked.
"Anything you can cut, roast, beat, or otherwise abuse," Wally said dryly, "Cookies are too nice."
"That was the most philosophical view of baking I've heard since Julia Child," Shine said.
Emi laughed.
After getting plates ready, most of the students were willing to frost cookies... They had had to bake scores of them just so everyone could have a few, and the whole kitchen was decked out in trays to put them on.
They also had about 10 different colors of frosting, sprinkles, and chocolate chips.
While they frosted some songs played.
They finished pretty quickly, even with all the trading of colors.
"I've never made cookies like this," Kendo told the other girls, "They look so old fashioned."
"I kind of like it," Tohru said, "It's homey."
"I don't understand why you all just didn't get to go home for the holidays," Shine said.
They shrugged.
"You know, I haven't done something like this since I became a hero," Miss Joke commented, adding a clown nose to her Santa cookie.
"Don't you have family, Miss Joke? Why are you here?" Deku asked.
"What do you know about me, Midoriya?" Miss Joke gave him a sly look.
Deku reddened. "Uh... well, you're a great hero, and I know stuff because I'm a fan..."
"Relax, kid, I'm just messing with you," Miss Joke laughed, "Anyway, my family went to Hawaii for Christmas. I couldn't go because of work, so I was just going to be home alone with my cat. Cool that UA let me come."
"Yeah... sure..." Wally said, eyeing Shine. Shine deftly frosted a cookie.
"I don't remember getting that request," Aizawa muttered. Eri had finally gotten him to help. He was barely trying though.
"It's just like old times, Eraser," Miss Joke said, "Remember when we spent that one Christmas together at our agencies because we had to work?"
"You made me. I didn't want to," Eraser grumbled.
"Is that when you did Karaoke?" Wally asked.
"It was!" Miss Joke said, "And you know, he was better than you would expect looking at him. All the ladies there were gaga over it."
Eraser looked like he wanted to die.
The students all exchanged looks that said "Don't ever bring this up to him or he'll kill us."
"Speaking of which, someone get brave enough to get on that mic!" Miss Joke cried.
Everyone started volunteering each other. Finally, Kaminari got pressured into it... but he actually wasn't bad, so it more of had the effect of impressing the 1-B girls than anything else.
Jiro frowned at them.
"You should go, Emi," Shine said.
"Yeah, Miss Joke!" everyone cheered. They didn't really care if she was good or not. They just wanted to see a Pro do it.
Miss Joke wasn't daunted. She got up there. "All right, all right. 'I don't want a lot for Christmas..." [There was a comic dub video I had to this, but I think it was deleted, someone comment if you know what it was called :(]
She wasn't half bad.
A few more people went.
"Why don't you guys do one together?" Kaminari said to Shine and Wally.
"Us?" Wally blanched, "Uh, I don't really sing..."
"We've heard you sing!" Kaminari protested, "When you guys are hanging out in your rooms together."
"What?" Aizawa said.
"Uh... not like that," Shine said.
"Eraser, they aren't students," Miss Joke scolded.
Shine looked embarrassed. "There's really no need--"
"But you could do a couple's duet. It'd be so cute." Mina had stars in her eyes.
"Oh, yeah!" Tohru and a few 1-B girls joined in asking.
Wally shook his head. "No way. I'm not gonna embarrass myself."
"But it's for the kids, West," Miss Joke said.
"This isn't Veggie Tales! I'm not doing it!" Wally said.
"I wouldn't mind, but I'm not that good," Shine said, "And I can't do a duet all by myself, so unless one of you fine gentlemen wants to help me out, I can't."
"Maybe you should, man," Kirishima said.
"I can't do that! It's weird," Kaminari said.
"Why? Professional singers do duets all the time," Sero said.
"But they're professionals!" Kaminari said.
"Well, you suggested it." All the guys started getting on his case. And some of the girls too.
"We shouldn't pressure him into it," Momo tried to intervene.
"Shh," Miss Joke shushed her, "I want to see how this plays out... Anyway, he's enjoying the attention. You can tell."
He most certainly was, though Momo wasn't the type who'd be able to discern it.
Finally Kaminari caved in. "As long as it's not embarrassing."
"Something nice, then." Shine tapped her chin. "Ah, I have the perfect duet. Do you know this song?" She whispered to him.
"Oh, I actually do!" Kaminari said, "Ah, that's a great movie."
"It is. Okay then, I'll do part one. You do part two," Shine said.
"Cool," Kaminari said.
"Oh, no..." Jiro muttered, "What have they done now?"
Shine grabbed her playlist and put on a song with a loud drum start you didn't really expect for a Christmas song. Then she began. Before she even did Wally got excited. "Oh, this is the best song!"
"🎶🎤I'm Mister White Christmas, I'm mister snow," Shine sang in a very flamboyant way, "I'm Mr. Icicle, I'm Mr. 10 below. Friends call me Snow Miser. Whatever I touch, turns to snow in my clutch, I'm too much!🎵"
"Is this song about Todoroki?" Sero asked.
"I know this one," Monoma said proudly, "This is from one of those really old movies with the little figurines."
" 🎄🎵 I never want to know a day that's over 40 degrees! I'd rather have it 30, 20, then 5-- Let it freeze!🎶" Shine finished before a sort of chorus on the track.
Kaminari took the second part. "🎤🎶I'm Mr. Green Christmas, I'm Mr Sun, I'm Mister Heat Blister, I'm Mr. 101. They call me Heat Miser. Whatever I touch, starts to melt in my clutch. I'm too much.🎵"
"I did not expect this, but I'm loving it." Miss Joke was enthusiastic. "I should watch the movie."🎄
"It doesn't sound like a very nice movie..." Momo said oddly.
"Don't be silly. They're the antagonists," Monoma scoffed.
"Then why are they singing their songs?" Momo said.
"Because they're a bop," Shine said, "And what's wrong with Snow and Heat?"
"Why not just sing about Todoroki, then?" Mina laughed.
"Ah, well, if you insist." Shine launched into a rendition of Katy Perry's Hot N' Cold.
Bakugo and most of the squad found that hilarious.
Todoroki did not. "I don't even see how that applies to me. I don't change my mind very often."
"It's called irony, dude," Wally said, "I wish I had a cool song..."
"We could do one for you," Shine offered.
"I'll pass. That'd be so awkward," Wally said.
"Man who has his own museum thinks me singing to a room full of kids is awkward," Shine said dryly.
"You have your own museum?" Miss Joke said to Wally. "Impressive."
"Ah, well, it was just something my fans threw together," Wally said modestly, "And a villain destroys it like every few months, but I appreciate the thought."
"I wish that same reporter wouldn't cover it every time though. I don't like her," Shine said.
"What? I told you it's no big deal," Wally said.
"The woman can't take a hint," Shine frowned.
"Ah, the trials of hero relationships," Miss Joke said, "My advice? Date someone who hates the media. Then it's not a problem. They can't hit on him if they don't know who he is."
"You see, that's what I should have done," Shine said.
"Hey," Wally said, "That's just wrong."
"But I fell hard for Wally, and I'm afraid I can't go back now," Shine amended.
Miss Joke smiled. "That's so sweet-- also, nice save."
"Awww," Mina said, "You guys are so cute. Old people are so adorable, aren't they?"
"Old people!" Wally said. He flicked a chip at her.
"Is this how he always is?" Aizawa asked Iida.
"Oh... no... usually things are a bit more... uh, calm," Iida hedged nervously, "How about we do presents 🛍👝now?"
"Splendid idea!" Miss Joke cheered.
Everyone left their cookies to dry and gathered around the tree. They began exchanging gifts. People mostly got what they liked. Somehow Eri ended up with the Keyblade-type sword Tokoyami had got.
"Where can I get one of those?" Shine asked him.
"I... could give you the address..." he said, "but it's probably sold out."
"And what is Eri going to do with that?" Aizawa said.
"Kill people?" Bakugo suggested.
Eri gave him a strange look. "Kill people?"
Shine grabbed Bakugo and shoved him toward the tree. "Just get another present."
She turned to Eri. "Bakugo only meant that as a joke. He didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
"Oh..." Eri nodded, but she still looked bleak. Luckily, kids are much more easily distracted from things than adults, and she soon was focused back on the presents. Shine and Wally had gotten her some specifically too.
Aizawa had also, but he didn't like to give it in front of everyone else and look soft.
Miss Joke had actually brought gifts-- not specific ones, just a bunch of goody bag type items, like beauty products💄 for the girls and notebooks📒 and stuff for the boys. "I always get sent this stuff anyway by companies, so I might as well use it," she shrugged.
"They send you this? This is expensive make-up." Shine held up one sample.
"They probably just want me to market it for them, but once you go down that rabbit hole you never come out." Miss Joke waved dramatically.
"Oh?" Momo heard. She bit her lip.
"This gift card for that popular restaurant is the better deal," Wally said happily, "They send you this stuff too? I'm starting to think I don't market enough in my city."
"Said the man with his own museum," Miss Joke quipped.
"With him, it's most useful to get free food," Shine said, "Metabolism and all that. I'd take it too."
"Sheesh, I have more of those lying around at home. Who has time to go out to eat most days?" Miss Joke shrugged. "Of course relying too much on convenience store food isn't the best idea either..."
"Aizawa you can't go to sleep." Shine shook his sleeping bag. "We have gifts for you too."
"What?" Aizawa sat up grumpily. "I don't want any."
"Eraser! How can you say that," Miss Joke said, "That's just ungrateful. Get right up and accept it, or I'll zap you with my quirk so you'll be happier."
"I'd like to see you try that," Aizawa said, eyes glowing.
Miss Joke wasn't afraid of him. "You'll have to blink eventually."
"Who puts up that much fuss over getting a present?" Wally said.
"Ah, I found it." Iida handed it to him. "The whole class also got you something, Professor Aizawa."
"What?" Aizawa said in different tone, "That seems unnecessary--" Miss Joke elbowed him.
"I mean, thanks..." he said grumpily.
The gift was a new sleeping bag, which made Shine, Wally, and Emi all crack up.
1-B didn't get it.
"What's funny about that is our gift goes with it too," Shine said to Emi.
Their gift was a coffee thermos that read "I'd rather be Sleeping" on it in both English and Japanese.
"I have to get a picture of that. Get in the bag right now." Miss Joke was dying of laughter.
"No." Aizawa was a spoil sport.
***
At some point in the gift exchange, Shine got a text, and after she'd exchanged a few, yet another Christmas surprise came.
Camie walked in.
"What? How can she be here?" Mina said, "I mean, I'm glad and all, but what about your family?"
"Ah, fahm, that's why I'm here now," Camie said, "This is the part of the day that they start arguing for hours about what game to play. I always just chill in my room anyway, so I thought why not go to a stupid awesome party instead? You don't mind, right?"
"No, the more the merrier." Mina gave her a Santa hat. "We can't get Bakugo to wear this, though. He keeps taking it off."
"Honestly, he looked like an angry elf anyway," Wally muttered.
"Don't make fun of him-- he'll never put it on," Shine said.
"Hey, Baku." Camie nearly scared the life out of him by waving as he walked by.
"Will you freaking stop doing that!" he raged.
"I don't know what your problem is, bro," Camie said, "I literally am just standing here."
"Well, that's scary enough, you know," Sero said.
"Huh?" Camie was puzzled.
"Get lost," Bakugo told him.
"Okay, hey man, I get it. You want to be alone," Sero said.
"I'll kill you!" Bakugo yelled.
"On Christmas!" Sero said.
Bakugo started chasing him anyway.
"Ah, Miss Likstar, he's picking on me!" Sero ran up to Shine.
Aizawa was a little offended.
"Bakugo, stop this," he said, "You'll scare Eri."
Eri luckily hadn't noticed yet. She was trying to pull open one of the crackers.
Bakugo stopped but glared at Sero just the same.
"What did you do, anyway?" Shine said.
"Oh, nothing. He's just being all possessive," Sero said.
"Why, you!" Bakugo started to move again.
"I see what this is," Shine said, "Sero, do I detect jealously? You know, women don't find that a very attractive quality in a man."
"What? Hey, I'm just kidding. Okay?" Sero balked, putting his hands up.
"Well, stop. It makes it sound like you're whining." Shine was crushing.
"Who's whining? I just was messing with Bakugo a little," Sero walked away.
"Wow." Miss Joke nodded at Shine. "Nicely done."
"All you have to do is find the one thing they don't want to hear." Shine took a sip of sparkling cider smugly.
"You scare me more than Joke," Aizawa said flatly.
"Thank you," Shine said.
"Not a compliment," Aizawa said.
"I could try to scare you more, if that would help," Emi offered.
"No!" Eraser said, making her dissolve into paroxysms of laughter.
***
Things were getting chaotic the longer the party went on. At some point a confetti fight started. Aizawa slept through the whole thing, and Wally and Miss Joke joined in.
Eri got sleepy after a while, and Shine put her to bed. She insisted on taking her new toys with her.
Iida started telling everyone they needed to settle down and go to bed, but nobody was listening. Mineta suggested they play spin the bottle. No one listened to that either.
Camie checked with her family and found no one had really missed her yet. They just thought she was doing the typical teenager-wants-to-hang-in-their-room-thing.
The Christmas dinner had been composed mainly of Fried Chicken, which puzzled the DJs. They didn't know it was considered a special treat in Japan.
"This? KFC?" Shine said, "Why, at home, my southern relatives would put this to shame. I'd show a real fried chicken."
"I like KFC," Kirishima said happily.
"Of course you do, because it's good," Mina said, taking another helping.
"Well, it's okay," Wally said, "I liked other brands better, but I'm not picky. I've never had it for Christmas though. My mom would flip out if we had something like that for a holiday."
"We'd have it on the Fourth of July or Memorial Day," Shine reflected, "We'd go swimming too. Despite living within hours of the beach, I can almost never get my mom to go though, so we'd visit people with a pool."
"What are those holidays?" Tokoyami asked.
"American Holidays. One is to celebrate our independence, and the other is to honor the many people who have given their lives for our country," Shine said.
"I liked the sound of that second one," Tokoyami said.
"It's a little sad," Shine said, "but we believe (or we did) that it's important to remember somber things as well as happy ones. Many Hebrew holidays are the same way. Of course, most people don't even know what Memorial Day is really about anymore, and stores just capitalize on it by having sales... but, what can you do?"
"They're talking about having a superheroes day for the same thing," Wally said, between bites of chicken, "Since there's already a Flash Day and a Superman Day... but I doubt Batman will ever go for it."
"Given his ensemble, perhaps a Batman Night would be more appropriate," Shine said.
For some reason Wally thought that was hilarious and almost choked on his food because he was laughing so hard.
"It wasn't even that clever, babe," Shine said.
"But I could just picture it..." Wally said, drinking some water, "That's the funny part... and, like, Bruce Wayne would sponsor it."
The students didn't get why Shine started cracking up at that too.
"The couple that laughs together, stays together," Miss Joke said, "That's my motto... and my parents', come to think of it."
"Aren't you single?" Monoma said.
Miss Joke gave him a look.
"Anyway," Monoma changed the subject, "we had better get back to our own dorms."
"I think he's right for once. I'm bushed," Kendo said.
"Ah, but Kirishima and I were going to have a contest of strength," Tetsutetsu complained.
"Maybe go outside and do it," Shine suggested, "Because some people here are already up past their bedtime. Huh, Bakugo?"
Bakugo shot her a dirty look.
"Who goes to bed at 9:30 pm?" Camie said.
"Ah, no, he's usually in bed a whole hour before that, Kirishima said.
Camie did a double take. "I haven't gone to bed that early since I was a toddler."
"I'm exhausted." Momo sank onto the sofa. "I wouldn't mind it... but we have so much to put away."
Aizawa was asleep, but he'd said the dorm better be spotless when he woke up.
"Oh, I can take care of that in 5 seconds," Wally waved, "Don't worry about it, Peaches."
"Peaches?" Miss Joke said.
"Like her name," Shine said, "because she's so sweet."
"That's like calling me Smiles," Miss Joke said. [If you don't know, her first name means smile.]
"Can I call you that?" Wally asked.
Miss Joke thought about it. "Ah, sure, why not? Can I call you WacDonalds?"
"Uh... I guess it's fair, but I'd rather you not..." Wally made a face.
"I'd rather call him Happy Meal," Shine said, "Kind of matches his colors and personality."
"I'm sure he's your happy meal, Miss Likstar," said Sero.
Shine turned. "Hanta Sero!! You'd better run."
"Huh?" Sero realized his mistake. "But you stopped Bakugo earlier--"
Shine got up, sword out. Sero ran for it.
"Idiot," Bakugo said, "I could have told him that was a bad idea."
"But you didn't," Camie said, "and now this is way funnier."
"Camie... that's kind of mean," Kirishima said.
"Hey, if you can't watch a guy get chased with sword on Christmas, what can you do?" Camie said, sipping some coffee.
"What is it with you and Likstar and always drinking something?" Mina said.
"It's for the memes," Camie explained, "She has natural meme energy like me. It's because she's from where all those Stars live. I'm just cool."
"How's life at Shiketsu?" Uraraka asked her, "You guys aren't getting ahead of us, I hope."
"Well, we're trying, but I doubt it," Camie said nicely. Then she shrugged. "But who wants to talk about school? I want the tea. Any luck with the boys?"
"None at all," Mina sighed, "You just can't give any attention to it."
"Why do you always talk about that?" Jiro said, annoyed.
"Because you guys have the actual chance to pull it off, and you're just wasting it," Camie complained, "Especially you, Jiro, when it's so obvious the guy likes you."
"Huh?" Jiro said.
"I mean, could it be more obvious?" Camie applied to the other girls.
"I know just what you mean," Mina said knowingly.
"Hmm," Tohru agreed.
"Huh?" Ochaco said oddly.
"Oh, don't even get us started on you," Mina said, "Seriously, why don't you and Deku just get together already?"
"Ah, shh." Ochaco covered her mouth. "He'll hear you!"
"So?" Camie said, "Let him. Maybe he'll ask you out, then."
"No, Camie, seriously, shh," Ochaco said.
"Yeah, shut up." Jiro was beet red. "No one cares about that stupid nonsense except you and Mina."
"What am I, invisible?" Tohru said.
They all looked at her. "Oh... right... Well, still, I'm not inaudible..." she huffed.
"I'm with see-through girl. That's just rude," Camie said.
"What are you girls arguing about?" Kaminari joined them. "That's no fun on Christmas."
"You've never been to my house on Christmas," Tohru muttered.
"We're talking about boys," Camie admitted, with no shame at all.
"No, we weren't!" Jiro cried.
"Oh..." Kaminari looked embarrassed, "Which ones?"
"All of 'em," Camie said, "You're a guy, right, Pikachu...? So, Todoroki and Momo-- it's a thing, am I right?"
"Oh, everyone knows that." Kaminari looked relieved she wasn't asking about him. "But they'd never go out, you know. Todoroki's too... dense."
"He is a little," Mina admitted, "He didn't even know what killing girls with your eyes meant."
"I thought that was him trolling us, tbh," Tohru said.
They all looked at Todoroki closely. He was just staring into space.
"You know, I don't think it was," Mina said sagely.
"He is the hand crusher..." Ochaco had heard about this from Deku and Iida.
"Well, at least he's hot," Camie said complacently, "Girls will still like him."
"That's kind of shallow, isn't it?" Jiro muttered.
"Man, he's lucky," Kaminari whined, "Non-pretty boys have it rough."
"You sound like a r/Nice Guy," Camie said, "Anyway, why you hating on yourself, Pikachu? You're not so bad. I bet plenty of girls around here like you."
"What? You think so?" Kamanari brightened.
"Absolutely. Maybe even one or two in the hero course," Camie said.
"Ha, wait till they hear how dumb he is," Jiro said.
"That's not a sure thing, you know. A lot of girls are into dumb now," Camie said, "Smart guys are so tightly wound, that's why. Dumb guys are nicer. That's what they say. And some people are just Morosexual."
"What's ...?" Ochaco began.
"It's being attracted to morons only," Mina said, "You know, the whole Spanish Word for Tortilla thing? Kissing in the moonlight."
"I have no clue what you're talking about," Ochaco said, "And, no offense, I think a smart guy is better."
"You would," Tohru said smugly.
Ochaco blushed.
"All I'm saying is, have a little confidence," Camie said, "Flirting's not about getting results-- it's about rocking what you got, and somebody's bound to like it. Especially if they don't have a lot of options."
"That sounds like really bad advice," Jiro said.
"Girl, have you even tried it?" Camie retorted, "Don't hate on my advice if you don't have the guts to even put yourself out there."
"Ah, roasted," Kaminari said.
Jiro zapped him.
"Ah, I just figured out who you remind me of." Camie pointed to her. "It's Bakugo... but, like, a girl."
"What?" Jiro cried.
"What?!!!" Bakugo echoed, enraged.
"Oh, no, he was listening," Ochaco put her hand over her head. "We're dead."
"Chillax, I got this," Camie waved.
"In what way am I like Bakugo?!" Jiro said.
"I'm seeing it now..." Kaminari didn't help.
"In what flipping way?!" Bakugo echoed.
"See? It's so obvi," Camie said. "It's cool. It just means you're soulmates or something."
"What? Ew?" Jiro made a face. "Never in a million years."
But notably, she was less self conscious about it, Mina thought. So, she clearly didn't have any emotional investment in it.
"Yeah, over my dead body," Bakugo agreed.
"You guys are terrible," Kaminari said, "That's no way to talk about your classmate."
"Did I ask you?" Jiro muttered.
"But maybe Camie is right. You should just have more confidence," Kaminari suggested, "Like, you have a lot going for you. Maybe you could both be a little less mean..."
"Shut up!" they both said.
"I think Pokemon is onto something," Camie said, "Like, you both are so rude, but you're not all bad. Maybe some people would overlook that, and if you had a little more confidence, you could get dates."
"I don't want to," Jiro said, "Dating is weird. Can we stop talking about this?"
"Yeah, the frick I'd ever want to do something that stupid," Bakugo agreed.
"Maybe you guys would make a good couple," Mina teased.
"You want to go, Raccoon Eyes?!" Bakugo said.
"Hey, man." Kirishima held him back. "She's just kidding. Don't get so worked up."
"Get off me, you freaking rock!" Bakugo said.
"Pet rock," Camie suggested.
"Yeah-- what?" Bakugo gave her a weird look.
"It's more insulting," Camie said.
"Hey, don't tell him how to insult us!" Kaminari said, "Sheesh, why don't you two just date already?"
Camie raised an eyebrow. But before she could come up with a retort, Bakugo got mad. "I told you to shut the h--- up about that, you dumb idiot! Before I murder you."
"Wait... that wasn't a no," Mina said.
"I'll kill you!!" Bakugo tired to charge her.
"Run, Mina!" Kirishima said, still holding him back.
Mina booked it, though she was cracking up, so it was hard, and she still ran into Momo on her way back into the room.
"What's going on?" Momo asked.
"Nothing," everyone lied.
* * *
"Emi." Shine found her after chasing Sero into his room so that he locked the door. "Wally and I were going to step out for a bit... Been with the kids non-stop, you know. Would you mind just... you know, making sure they don't burn the house down?"
"No problem," Miss Joke said, "Eraser keeps getting texts from Mic that he should come to the lounge for the staff party, but looks like he doesn't want to leave his weird class. How cute... or weird..."
"If I were him, I wouldn't either. They are crazy," Shine said, "Not as crazy as the teachers, but still..."
"Well, you two go on and enjoy your evening." Miss Joke winked.
Shine bristled. "We really don't do that. Please, I don't need it from the adults too.... Midnight already said something like that."
"Well, whatever you do, you should have some alone time," Miss Joke said more normally, "I'd take it myself if I could get it, but Eraser is such a spoil sport."
"You know, I'd try him later after the kids go to bed. He might be desperate for a break," Shine said.
* * *
Shine and Wally did spend some time just walking around looking at lights and talking about things that were not related to the class.
Finally Wally said, "You sure about this?"
"It was your idea. Why are you asking me?" Shine said.
"Because it was my idea." Wally rubbed his head.
"I think it's a nice idea, and the worst that could happen is they get offended," Shine said.
So they stepped down a street and portaled.
* * *
The LOV was still hiding out in the 100th or so abandoned place they could find (at least, they were abandoned after the League cleared them out).
No one was doing any Christmas stuff-- just sitting around, trying not to freeze.
Dabi was debating whether he should tell them about his failed encounter. It seemed like a bad idea, but he also thought he might need back up for this job after all. But who would be best?
Then there was a flash, and they nearly all had a heart attack.
"Surprise!" Wally said.
Most of them didn't even recognize him.
"A pro!" Spinner said.
"No, it's that idiot's bodyguard." Dabi sat up, nervous. Had they figured out his plan?
"Merry Christmas," Shine said, cheerfully.
Ah, no, just regular idiocy, then.
"Christmas? You must be joking," Spinner said.
"We don't celebrate Christmas," Shigaraki said, "And what do you think you're doing barging in?"
"Same thing as every other time..." Shine said.
Not much they could say to that.
"You could at least leave us alone on one day," Compress whined.
Toga and Twice had already run off into a different room, and any minor members were not hanging around the main League that day.
"We figured you wouldn't have much cheer today," Shine said, "You don't have to like it, but here we are. Won't you at least accept our gifts?"
"Why would we-- gifts?" Spinner said, "Is this some kind of trick?"
"Wow, you guys are really not used to having anyone do something nice for you," Wally said, opening a large bag... Where had he gotten it? "Well, Santa Flash is here to fix that."
"Hohoho," Shine said jovially, "Look, you all just need to accept we're crazy and we do weird things like this. Either you can benefit from it, or you can look stupid sitting there. Take your pick."
"This is preposterous," Shigaraki said, "And anyway, you don't know what we like."
Shine tossed him a package. "True, but we have a lot of money we don't really need, so we went all out."
"Words no one said ever..." Compress muttered.
Shigaraki disintegrated the paper around the package disdainfully... but then was surprised. "This isn't even released yet. How did you get this?"
"Ah, so you do know what it is," Wally said, "Well, funny story-- there was a little hold up at one of the factories for those things. Some bullies with quirks wanted a free game, I guess, and the Pros were too busy to help. So I did. In return I got some free stuff-- which I can't use."
"How did you know about the hold up?" Compress asked.
"I was just running past," Wally said, "I like to do a few laps around China sometimes. It's a nice track."
That he said that with a completely straight face stunned them.
"Who are you?" Spinner muttered.
"It was a bit harder. None of the rest of you ever told us your hobbies," Shine said, "but, you know, it's the thought that counts."
"That's a stupid saying," Shigaraki said. Though he hadn't destroyed his gift yet.
"There has to be some law against giving gifts to criminals," Dabi said.
"No, there really isn't," Shine said. [Surprisingly, there are more laws against getting gifts from legislators than ones about giving them to criminals, as long as it's not drugs or weapons.] "For you." She tossed him something.
"I don't want this," he said.
"Well, it's yours. What you do with it is your business," Shine said.
She got out one for Spinner and Compress too... and then...
"Yeah, we got some for Twice and Toga too."
"What? Why? You don't like them," Compress said.
"I don't like Toga. Twice I just feel sorry for," Shine corrected, "And... yeah, I thought about it, but it didn't feel right to leave them out anyway, and it's not like it's knives... Actually, for Toga, I found the least dangerous thing I could think of.... Probably it's still dangerous, but I'm hoping for the best."
That she could so casually talk about that was just a little unsettling for the villains. They were so used to scaring everyone.
"Does it occur to you that we're probably just going to murder people after this?" Compress was for once at a loss for fancy words.
"I try not to think about it..." Wally muttered.
"Why should it matter? What does a little kindness have to do with it?" Shine said, "You could murder people with or without a gift, but everyone should get something in life. That's what I believe. Does it hurt anyone else if we give you one?... And I don't know if you'll feel all right about it, but I brought some of the food we still had too, cookies and stuff. It's not poisoned, but you can always throw it out if you're squeamish." She eyed the walls. "I doubt you have much fresh food in here though..."
The smell alone made Spinner want to mutiny, it was true. He eyed his gift. It was a small book about Stain's history. "Why would you get this? Is it sick joke?"
"Why not read about him if you're going to admire him? I mean how much do you actually know about the guy?" Shine shrugged, "I've actually read it already... It wasn't that helpful for me, but I learned a bit. Anyway, I had to read a translation, so who knows?"
"Should you even be reading that, working at UA?" Dabi said.
"Should you even be asking me that?" Shine replied, "No info on UA, remember? And why should they get to determine what I read?"
"Well... this is..." Compress seemed uncomfortable, "A nice gesture... I suppose-- but unnecessary. We are not friends."
"We don't have to be," Shine shrugged, "Wally has a long tradition of spending Christmas with villains, and so do I... oddly enough... but like our master, we don't really need to care. Whether it's with kings or paupers, it suits us just fine. We don't need to feel out of place anywhere... and I guess celebrating with UA counts as Kings."
"Ah, we're the feel-good charity part," Dabi said flatly.
"If you were, it would be higher than anyone else thinks of you," Shine retorted, "It's not. We genuinely just wanted you to be a little happier, that's all. I'm sure that's the worse crime of all to you, so, sorry, suck it up."
"You tell him, hon." Wally patter her shoulder. "It's like I said to Humanite-- Christmas is about making people happier. Whoever they are."
"'Glad Tidings of Great Joy which shall be to all People'," Shine quoted.
"What a lot of sentimental nonsense!" Shigaraki said, "Christmas is one day out of the year above most I despise! People are such hypocrites on this day! As if they are really better people than on any other day! And heroes... I hate it all. I hate you too."
But this outburst got him nothing except silent looks from them.
"He's right though," Spinner said, "Christmas is just fluff. Even if people were a little nicer, it's not real. It doesn't matter for the rest of the year. Most people just go on dates or whatever."
"Ah, I see you've all only heard one side of Christmas," Shine said, "Actually, the holiday for us is a bit of a mixed bag of joy and tragedy both. Though you won't see that in the specials, usually."
"Hmm?" Compress was a sucker for good twist story. "Do explain."
"I'd like to hear this," Spinner admitted, "How is there any tragedy involved?"
"Well," Shine sat down quite coolly on a bar stool, "a very long time ago now, there was a decree sent out to take a census, back in my people's home country, which is Israel. There was one family, a man and his fiance, who had to make a long trip to Bethlehem. A place is was prophesied long ago that the Savior of the World would be born in."
"Oh, you mean that stupid story," Dabi interrupted, "Don't tell me that's your religion's?"
"I've never heard this before. How do you know it?" Spinner said.
"Doesn't matter." Dabi couldn't actually say his mom used to watch Christmas specials, and a few of them did mention it, though only briefly.
"I doubt you've heard this part," Shine said, "And the other hasn't, so shut up. Anyway, they went there, and the first thing was, she goes into labor, and there's absolutely no room in the inn. It's our worst nightmare as tourists, you know. The place is jam packed because of the census. So, finally, one man lets them stay in a stable. You've heard this before, huh, Dabi?"
Dabi was silent.
"The baby is born. All goes well. Shepherds come to see him. Shepherds are lower class citizens, by the way. They got told by an angel, but you want to hear the bad part, no doubt. I hesitate to say anything about the Lord's birth could be bad, but evil people do evil things all year around, just as you were saying, Shigaraki."
"I said that?" Shigaraki said.
"You basically did..." Spinner allowed.
"So, there was tragedy around it," Shine said, "The King, Herod, was told that the new King of the Jews was born there, in Bethlehem. Now we think it actually was about two years later when this actually happened, but we aren't sure. Whatever the case, he sent his soldier to murder every single infant up to two years of age in that town."
Silence.
"What? How is this Christmas story?" Spinner said, disgusted.
"I told you, it's both," Shine said, "And not only good things happen, you know. Not in the world... But Our lord's family escaped because they were warned in a dream and went to Egypt, oddly enough, a land of some contention for my people, if you've ever head that story... Probably not, hmm? The lived there until that king died and then moved back to Israel. The king probably thought he had killed him, though. Rather ironic, is it not? The more evil tries, the more good can slip through its fingers."
That couldn't have actually been directed at Dabi, but he felt like it was. And scowled.
"That's dark," Compress said, "Who knew this fluffy holiday had such sinister origins?"
"Just because it was sad does not mean it was sinister. Good happening even in the midst of evil is really the theme of our whole faith," Shine said.
"Well, I don't believe a word of it," Spinner scoffed, "And even if I did, it seems like a pretty poor God who'd let all those other kids die just to get his own out."
"You think so?" Shine said, "It's not so different from your way of thinking, is it? Spare the one and kill the rest? If God was that cruel, he would only be as cruel as you. But to our way of thinking, it simply that God does not stop humans from doing evil because we are free to do it. He will save those who ask for his help and are for His purpose. But not everyone can be saved that way, or there is no point to choice at all. I don't expect you all to accept that-- you've suffered too much at the hand of choice, and so have I, and so has everyone... We only start to understand when we realize we ourselves wouldn't like to be deprived of our ability to choose. Everyone has that basic right. But few can really allow it to other people. That's why we try to control them."
"True..." Wally admitted, "Though, as a superhero, that's not the thing I really like to hear. Kind of bleak for Christmas."
"Well, consider who we're talking to. Bleak is what they want," Shine said.
"So, let me get this straight," Spinner said, "We're celebrating a day where one kid was born, and a bunch more were murdered... with gifts and food?"
"If you prefer to think of it that way..." Shine said, "I don't."
"Well, that's sick and twisted enough for me," Shigaraki said, "I may almost come to like Christmas after this. Imagine what fun it would be to tell those smug morons who celebrate it what actually happened."
Shine and Wally exchanged a look.
"Uh, Shine... maybe be careful what kind of witness you're creating here," Wally said.
Shine laughed. "Even if he's twisting it, it's the truth. I suppose I can't change that... Anyway, who's he going to tell it to? No one'd listen to him."
That made Shigaraki a little mad.
"Well, we've got to go." Shine got up. "We need to have those kids in bed by 12, at least. Enjoy the rest of your holiday."
"Yeah, and watch out for the coal in you stocking," Wally couldn't resist saying.
They vanished.
Compress put down the book of classic plays he'd received. "What a strange couple. It's almost a shame they're a liability. They'd be entertaining at parties."
"Well, so would plenty of people who are better off dead." Shigaraki seemed to see no startling lack of logic in that statement.
"Who comes to villains to tell them why Christmas is partly about tragedy and then poofs out,?" Spinner uttered. "Weirdos. I'll feel a lot safer when they're dead."
"Oh, yeah, sure," Dabi said unenthusiastically. "A lot safer."
"So who's going to see what they got Toga first?" Compress said. "I've been dying to know ever since they said it was safe."
It ended up being a regular looking pillow. But Toga no doubt still tried to see if there was a knife inside it.
Twice just got a spare mask...he seemed to think that was a nice gift. But it was hard to tell with how he argued about it.
[And that's the special---I'd say it was pretty unique for an anime based one. I made it a little long because it's just going to be one part. Back to regularly scheduled programming after this.
Merry Christmas in July fahm.]
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