The day after that, normal training resumed with the full class. Momo felt tired but less on edge than she had been feeling... only she had a sort of calm but depressed aura. She thought it was because things had become harder for her to sort out than before.

Did she really want to know the truth now? Maybe it was okay not to...

Jiro didn't admit to getting Shine-- she just asked Momo if she was okay. Momo nodded. "I'm fine now."

Before Aizawa came in, Todoroki glanced over at her desk. "Uh... Yaoyurozu?"

"Hmm?" Momo realized that she's barely said anything to Todoroki since the whole thing happened. Perhaps that was selfish...

Todoroki didn't actually know how to follow that up. "I... hope you're feeling better..." was all he could think of.

He was worried about her? He was the one who almost got kidnapped. Momo nodded. "I'm all right... Uh... are you?"

"I'm fine," Todoroki said, "I don't really understand what that forced break was about--" He was cut off by Aizawa coming in.

"Since the whole class is now back together, how about we celebrate by having a little extra challenge in training?" Aizawa said.

Aizawa never learned.

The extra challenge was simulating a villain attack with some of the teachers again. Things were going fine. The class was doing very well. All this was beginning to feel like old hat to them... but the teachers always liked to make the odds impossible whenever the students got too comfortable.

No one was really having any problems though, even after the third unexpected exploding building.

Todoroki was actually very focused, having wanted to make up for the missed training... and demonstrate to Shine that all that vacation time was going to be unnecessary in the future.

But while he was running by Koda and Tokoyami, a weird thing happened. Koda was calling some pigeons, and they flew overhead to ward off the attacks of Ectoplasm's clones.

But Todoroki found himself flinching, as if to dodge when they went over his head.

He couldn't understand why a bunch of birds were startling him so much, but he actually noticed his hand shaking, and he felt a little nauseous. He slowed to use a pressure point on his foot, something his Dad taught... just so he'd train longer, really, but, in a pinch it usually did the trick...

But when he stopped to do that, he got knocked aside unexpectedly. He wasn't ready at all.

That was so out of character for him as a hero that Ectoplasm actually asked him if he was okay (the real Ectoplasm).

"Uh, yeah..." Todoroki said, "I don't know why I lost focus... I'll be fine."

"Keep your head in the game, Todoroki," Ectoplasm scolded, "But sorry, I think you're officially out if I stopped you..."

"But that's not fair-- I didn't ask you to!" Todoroki said.

"If you're gonna break focus like that, you're out anyway if a villain is involved," Ectoplasm said, "You'd better just leave the training ground."

That was the worst way he'd ever been eliminated. Todoroki sat off waiting, wondering what had happened.

Recovery Girl called Shine to come escort him back to the dorms, but he said he wanted to at least watch.

Shine shrugged and sat down to wait with him. "Looks like Deku's doing a bit better at control," she said, "Oh... ouch, Kirishima. That had to hurt... Bakugo is doing well as always. At least he's never hurt badly... That a girl, Mina.... I really don't know if Momo should be doing this today, but at least she's better."

"She seems fine." Todoroki wasn't jealous, not at all.

"Looks can be deceiving." Shine leaned on her hands. "Ever notice that girl has a perpetually worried expression in training? I've never seen her enjoy it, ever... Maybe for a brief moment when a creation works, but that's not often that she's satisfied."

Todoroki never had noticed, but he looked now. "Isn't she just focused?"

"That's a focused face to you? Well, why am I surprised? Of course worried focused." Shine sighed. "I could just wish there was a bit more peace about all this. So much for keeping the Peace."

"I think you worry too much about it," Todoroki grumbled.

"Why are you pulled out so soon? That's never happened," Shine changed the subject.

"I got distracted, and Ectoplasm technically took me out," Todoroki said.

"A clone took you out?" Shine was skeptical. "Just how distracted were you?"

"I... I don't know. I guess I looked at the pigeons, and I wasn't watching my surroundings," Todoroki said.

"The pigeons...? Koda's?" Shine said, "They are nasty-- they poop on everything... but I doubt that's your reason, is it?"

"It's just a weird thing," Todoroki said, "I think he should have let me stay in. Technically, he didn't fight me."

"Perhaps he's smarter that the other teachers, then," Shine said, "Sounds like you might still be having some trouble... Is this really the first time this has happened? No offense, but you space out a lot during training, and then afterward, you generally use a big attack like it's a reaction to something. I heard you overdid the fire in 1-B's joint training-- and ice at other times. Isn't there ever a pattern for you?"

"I usually remember something from training with my old man when that happens," Todoroki said, "and I push myself more to win. I hate to admit it, but it's been useful."

"Sounds like you throw caution to the wind at such times. How practical is that?" Shine asked.

Todoroki gave her an odd look. "It's using my quirk more fully."

"You have the kind of quirk that almost never should be used fully, if you intend to be a hero," Shine said, "Only against really tough opponents. Don't you think getting so worked up you break your own self controlled limits could be a bad idea around civilians?"

"I'm not around civilians when I do it," Todoroki said, "I can stop myself if it's dangerous."

"I'm glad of that, but why go so far?" Shine said.

"You wouldn't understand. We have to break our limits if we fight villains," Todoroki said.

"I've almost never used my full strength with a villain," Shine mused, "Only a few times... I don't believe it's usually necessary."

"My quirk is suited to using force," Todoroki said.

"That's your dad talking," Shine said, with some frustration.

"What?!" Todoroki was furious. "How can you say that?"

"Because it's true. He kind of only has one strategy-- hit harder," Shine said, "But if you think that is what you are suited to, that is because you think of it that way. You quirk has more creative applications too, but you never try to think that way."

"I can't make very exact things," Todoroki said. 

"You can work on that, but even so, the terrain around you-- that can help too. I mean, those ridiculously big attacks you do, they look cool, but they are a waste of energy when a smaller attack would do just as well. You let your emotions dictate what you do, Todoroki."

Todoroki didn't like hearing this... because it was too close to home... literally. 

"I don't see a problem. It's not like I'm like my dad just because I use a lot of power. I'm working on controlling it with him so I don't hurt myself."

"Todoroki, I'm offering you honest feedback, not saying you are like your father," Shine said, "But it would be hard not to adopt his method if he trained you. You just don't realize you are doing it. Perhaps I am a little biased. I never had formal training for my gifts except in the moment. That's kind of how they work. Because of that, picking up someone else's style is hard for me. We naturally develop our own. You have one too, to find it you need to let go of what you've relied on until now."

Aizawa had said similar things before... but still...

Todoroki stared at the ground. And before he even knew he was saying it, he said, "You're always criticizing me more than the others."

Shine was shocked. "Am I?"

"Huh... I don't now why I said that out loud..." Todoroki looked at his hand. "But since I did... yes. It's like you have a different standard for me. I don't get it."

Shine thought. "It wasn't my intention."

"That's worse. That means you just see more things wrong without intending to." Todoroki hit upon a rather interesting point. "Is there a reason for that?"

Shine had to think about that more.

"Perhaps it's where you remind me of me... and I'm impatient because of that. It's easier to be harder on someone if we think we have gotten so far ahead of them. I don't consciously think that, but pride has a way of sneaking in the backdoor on matters like this. I'm sorry."

But that didn't make Todoroki feel better. Perhaps because his mom would say things like that.

"Is it that I make you uncomfortable?" he asked.

"No... Why do you always think that?" Shine asked, "Always with Momo too. That's what you think.... Oh..." It must have hit her as soon as she said it. "I'm so sorry, Shoto.... Uh, is it all right if I use your first name?"

"I suppose I don't mind..." Todoroki didn't know if it bothered him or not. No one had ever asked him before. "And... it's not your fault. I'm just wondering."

"You don't make me uncomfortable or nervous at all," Shine said, "Just the opposite. I push you because I am too comfortable around you. You're so quiet and non threatening. It's not like Bakugo. It's easy to see where he has... uh, areas to work on. Perhaps I feel I have to dig more to give you the same kind of help. Everyone needs it, after all, but people like you can get by, and no one will help them, because on the surface, they seem fine-- even better than the rest of us... and that isn't fair, is it?"

That was, in fact, what had always been bothersome to Todoroki about being the Son of Endeavor. He never got close to anyone, and he didn't care to, but, even if he had tried, he never really thought it would work out. People saw him as above them.

That must be why he felt more comfortable around Momo and Bakugo. They were at the top too. Though Bakugo was obnoxious, at least he had no penchant for being a kiss up.

But non threatening? That sounded unbelievable.

"You don't have to lie to make me feel better. I know I'm not very easy to deal with," he said, quite coolly.

"You seem easy to me," Shine said, "Except on this one point we're talking about. You can't seem to shake it. I know why, too... but I'm afraid to say it out loud. It might be too upsetting."

"Is it about my mom?" Todoroki guessed.

"Yes," Shine said.

Todoroki sighed. "Go ahead..."

"Deep down, you still think what happened was because of you," Shine said, "Though you told me you forgave her, and she forgave you... it struck me as odd at the time that you thought you needed forgiveness-- that you did anything wrong..."

"I avoided her for years," Todoroki said.

"That was not your fault," Shine said firml. "I'm sure it took immense courage to go see her after all that time. So, why is there anything for you to feel bad about?"

The question was difficult to answer.

"I always thought, if I wasn't born this way," Todoroki stared at his left hand, "then things would have been different. I'm trying to accept my father is the way he is... but, I guess, it still seems unfair to Mom. And... I feel like it could have been different... I don't know what I did to remind her of him..."

There was a long pause.

Shine sighed. "I don't know if this will help, but it's all I got: When I was your age... younger even, my mom told me I was just like my dad too. That I would say the same things he did. It drove me crazy."

"You mean she told you to your face?!" Todoroki said, shocked.

"Mind you, he wasn't like yours, and we didn't call it abuse," Shine said, "But she still treated me like him. I'm... well, I'm the strong one. That means I have the most dominant traits. In way, that is like my dad. No one else has those traits. You've seen some of them yourself... and it bothered me for years... up till my 20s, actually, so, you think you have problems... but, I kept seeking the truth... and this is what I came to. I realized that, yes, my dad's behavior is always going to be a part of my memories... and I can look back at how I acted and see how I copied him... but if I'm fair, I see how I was different too. And I am very different now. My mom only had one way to interpret the things I said, and did, that were like him. But, people can use the same words, and mean very different things. One person may be lying when they say them, another may be telling the truth. Some actions are similar but are done for different reasons."

She leaned on her hand. "Case in point: I get a rise out of people. My dad is an expert at doing that. But he laughs at it and wants to make that person mad just for fun. I do it to get closer to the truth. And the results are usually just that. The same trait can work different ways." She sighed. "But to bring it back to you... well, I guess even there I see how you feel. I look like my dad too. Or at least more like that than my mom. I didn't always like it. But, isn't it just what Deku said? This is who we are and what we have, not our parents."

"That's true, but... it doesn't erase what happened," Todoroki said, "That is the difficult part for me. Wondering if it will ever be forgotten."

"It takes a special kind of person to move that direction," Shine said, "But if you want that, then you have to be the first to forget, Shoto. That means forgetting all that guilt you still have over it. Do you know, our faith says 'You must be born again'? [References John 3:3] I think you all have an idea like that, don't you? Rebirth?"

"Yes... you're talking about our next lives," Todoroki said.

"I mean this life. Christians believe that we can be born twice, once in a body, and then our spirit must be reborn but stays in the same body. Same personality, but new life," Shine said, "And that's the best illustration I can give you. I let go of my past because I believed I'm not the same person anymore. I didn't have to die physically to get that... and believing that, I don't need to make up for what they thought about me. The best solution to your dilemma is to not be that Shoto anymore at all."

"I don't understand. How will that help my mom?" Shoto asked.

Shine smiled. "I know... it doesn't sound like it, huh? But, on the other hand, is what you're doing working?"

Shoto thought about that. "I'm better... but I guess the weight of what happened then seems like it is never going to go away."

"Everyone feels that way, only most people don't admit it," Shine said, "But that's your burden, Shoto. We all have one. You know what mine was... I could tell you what everyone else would tell you: to do better and overcome it by becoming a good hero. That things will get better if you put all the effort in to change, and you want it bad enough. That, however, is a lie, unless you want it bad enough to know it's out of reach for you to get it on your own. It'll never happen... but if you want to keep up that approach, I can't stop you, and I won't waste time arguing about it. But, if after decades have passed, and it is still not gone... it's not how long I want you to have to wait."

Todoroki was quiet for a bit.

Shine was also quiet, like she knew he was going to have to think about all that.

"There's gotta be another way out, I've been stuck in a cage with my doubt, 

I've tried forever getting out on my own,

 but every time I do this my way, I get caught in the lies of the enemy, 

I lay my troubles down, I'm ready for you now!

Break me out, come and find me in the dark now, everyday by myself I'm breaking down.

 I don't want to fight alone anymore.

 Break me out, from the prison of my own pride, my God I need a hope I can't deny, in the end I'm realizing, I was never meant to fight on my own.

Every little thing that I've known, is everything I need to let go, you're so much bigger than the world I have made, 

so I surrender my soul, I'm reaching out for your hope, 

I lay my weapons down, I'm ready for You now!"

                                                                                           ***

After training finally ended, Aizawa asked why Todoroki was removed. Ectoplasm told him he seemed to be struggling too much. Aizawa thought that answer was unacceptable. "This was your doing, no doubt," he said to Shine severely, "Wasn't stealing 3 days enough? This is vital training."

Shine just looked up at him silently.

"Aizawa-sensei, it was not her. I was removed before she even got here," Todoroki said quickly.

"It's true. I called her later," Recovery Girl said firmly.

"I didn't talk to her at all," Ectoplasm told Aizawa.

Shine didn't even say anything, and probably we could forgive her if she looked a little smug.

"Why do you always try to blame her?" Todoroki was in a rather sensitive mood after all the talk and easily offended.

The other students gasped at him daring to say that to Aizawa. Aizawa regarded him coolly too.

Shine stood up. "It's all right, Todoroki-san. I'm usually the one behind it anyway. But truly this time I cannot take credit. Perhaps, Aizawa, you should fact check before making accusations."

Aizawa glared at her for embarrassing him like that in front of the class.... Though really, he'd kind of embarrassed himself.

"That will be all. You're all dismissed," he told the students. They hurried away.

"They wouldn't respect you less if you apologized to me," Shine said, as she walked away, "but they will if you do things like that and pretend it was okay. People may be cowed into submission by the social norms, Eraser, but they are not stupid, and you can't change human nature. Cowardice is cowardice no matter where you live."

That parting shot didn't smooth anything over.

"Should you really provoke him?" Todoroki said to her.

"You did," Shine said, "But he can't take it out on me in training, can he? Anyway, he's not a bad guy... but his relentless need to control everything to compensate for how out of control the lives of all of us are is getting on my nerves. We can't prevent anything by pushing ourselves to the breaking point. He's old enough to know that. He's older than me, for goodness' sake, and I know that."

Once back at the dorms, Shine grabbed Momo by the arm and made her walk over to Todoroki. 

"You two need to settle this. It's ridiculous to keep up these misunderstandings. Momo, tell Shoto that you're not mad at him."

"What? Why would I be mad at him?" Momo said.

"Well, you weren't talking to me..." Todoroki said.

"Oh... I... I just had things on my mind," Momo said.

"And Shoto..." Shine said, "how about next time, we just ask upfront what's wrong if our feelings are being hurt, huh?"

"Uh... is this really necessary?" Shoto asked.

"It is for you," Shine muttered, "Well, I've done my part for this. I'll talk to you later." She walked away.

Momo and Shoto looked at each other awkwardly.

"I'm... sorry I hurt your feelings," Momo said.

"I should have just asked about it, so it's not your fault," Shoto replied, "But what is bothering you?"

Momo bit her lip. "I'm not ready to talk about that yet."

Shoto decided to leave it alone then. "If it's bad, you can tell me, you know... but you don't have to."

"It's not that I don't trust you. It's... uh... one of those delicate things you can't just tell everyone..." Momo said.

Shoto didn't know anything about that. So he was still puzzled.

Momo thought she was doing a bad job at explaining this, but an unexpected source bailed her out.

"Ponytail!" Bakugo yelled, "I want that book you were studying for the sessions!"

"Oh, uh, of course," Momo said, "I'll get it. Excuse me." She gladly made her escape.

Shoto was too dense to realize that was intentional, but he did think Bakugo was acting too friendly for him.