"Does anyone want to read something from our chapter today?" Shine asked at the study session the day after Medea's visit... Everyone had heard about it by now, but they didn't have much to say about it.

Along with the Word, of course, Shine had a whole list of assigned books. She didn't make everyone read them, but she encouraged them to pick one they liked and talk about it.

Not everyone was on the same book, but Momo, Todoroki, and Dabi had all elected to read The Great Divorce by C. S. Lewis, for different reasons.

Momo, because Shine had said it was brilliant and astoundingly insightful.

Shoto, because he thought it was a strange title.

And Dabi, because he read on the back that it was about a bus going from hell to heaven, and he couldn't pass that up. [Lol.]

Though the translations they had to use were a little different. Momo also tried to read it in English.

Since Bakugo and Camie didn't have any wish to share anything from whatever they were reading, Momo put her hand up. "I got to chapter 4 in the book I chose... There was something here that struck me...uh, if it's not too sensitive."

Dabi examined his copy. "Go on... I don't care."

Funny that at this point he knew she was talking about him and didn't even care anymore.

Momo read aloud the passage that had caught her eye:

The passage was a conversation between a ghost and a Glorified Spirit who, in their earthly life, had murdered someone.

And the part Momo had found hard to understand was as follows:

G.S. : "I do not look at myself. I have given up myself. I had to, you know, after the murder. That was what did it for me. And that was how everything began."

Ghost: "...I've gone straight all my life. I don't say I was a religious man, and I don't say I had no faults. Far from it. But I done my best all my life, see? I done my best by everyone. That's the sort of chap I was.---"

"'Scuse me, but what is a chap?" Camie interrupted.

"Like a bro," Shine supplied, "British term. I like it, personally. I used to use it."

"Ah, gotcha." Camie nodded.

Momo went on:

Ghost: "I'm asking for nothing but my rights... I've got to have my rights, same as you, see?"

GS: "Oh no. It's not so bad as that. I haven't got my rights, or I should not be here. You will not get yours either. You'll get something far better. Never fear."

...

GS: " Everything is here for the asking and nothing can be bought.

Ghost: If they choose to let in a bloody murderer all because he makes a poor mouth at the last moment, that's their look out. But I don't see myself going in the same boat as you..."

...

GS: "You weren't a decent man, and you didn't do your best. We none of us were, and none of us did. Lord bless you, it doesn't matter."

"Murdering old Jack wasn't the worst thing I did. That was the work of a moment, and I was half mad when I did it. But I murdered you in my heart, deliberately, for years...."

[I omitted a lot of it that wasn't necessary for my purpose, but I really recommend this book.]

Momo stopped. "This is what I didn't quite understand..." She didn't make eye contact with Dabi.

"I get that there's supposed to be forgiveness, but how is murder not the worst thing someone can do...? I remember you said something like that before, didn't you, Shine?"

Shine nodded. "Heroes stress no killing so much as their limit that they forget there are much worse things than that."

"And the part, murdering someone in your heart, what does that mean?"

"I think we covered this already the other day. Even being angry or hateful towards someone is the same as murder to God."

Shoto looked very uncomfortable...so did Bakugo.

"That's the truth," Dabi said, shocking them all.

"What makes you say that?" Camie said oddly.

"I would know," Dabi said, "When I was...you know...I felt the same kind of contempt for all those schmucks I burned that I did for everyone else I wanted to kill. The feeling wasn't any different whether I actually did it or not. I can completely get that the guilt is the same either way. Don't you precious heroes ever feel guilty for even thinking of doing something?"

"I admire your courage to say all that openly," Shine said, "as most people who claim to be good will never own up to those feelings."

"I don't claim that," Dabi said.

"And so you shouldn't," Shine said, "but I have felt murderous anger also...never acted on it, thank goodness, but I don't think that's because I'm a better person."

Momo bit her lip. "But there has to be a difference in action and...just thinking it."

"Oh...there's a difference in punishment...at least in this life, but not in guilt, Momo. The point of it is, if you are capable of desiring that, then you are corrupt. And we all are, only, you don't need to feel ashamed if you're thinking of a time you have...and if you haven't, you're a better person than me."

"Heck, I'll admit it. I've felt that way," Camie said, "Not, like, really, but if just hating someone is the same, then sure...I could think of a few people."

"We've talked about this before," Shoto spoke, "but don't some people deserve to be hated?"

"And I believe I answered before-- we all deserve that. Does hate really matter? It was in the book, wasn't it? We haven't got our rights."

Shine leaned on her hands. "At some point in my walk it just hit me that if I didn't want God to demand of me the kind of rights He should have to make me suffer, then I should stop looking at others that way."

"Yeah, but what about your dad?" Dabi knew about this by now. Shine brought it up often enough. "Didn't you say he hates you? You wouldn't want him out of the picture?"

"I did cut him out of my life," Shine said evenly, "and there was a time, I'll admit, I thought it might be easier for me if he was dead. I am ashamed of that...but I think all kids who are abused wish that at some point, and it would be strange if they didn't, though that's sad when you think about it. It's very hard as a mere mortal to not wish someone dead when they are hurting you so badly. Mercy at such a time is Divine. Jesus was able to forgive people as they killed him, so were his followers later...but I have to do it retroactively. And that's most of us... That's okay though, as long as you get there."

"Still, don't you think he deserves it?" Dabi pressed, "You wouldn't punish him?"

"Stop it," Shoto said to him, "You're being a jerk to her."

"Like you've never done that," Dabi said, not that he really knew, other than when he'd seen Shoto go off on her that one time weeks ago.

"It's okay, Shoto. I should be practicing what I preach," Shine said, "and Touya is right to ask me that... To be honest, sometimes I do remember and get mad still...and I wish... It would be different if he was sorry. I think I wouldn't care if that was the case...but I can't use that as an excuse, and I'm getting better. Most of the time, no, I don't wish that. As the pain goes, so does the desire for vengeance. The pain only went though, because I began to choose God's answer instead of my own to begin with. The choice comes before the feeling, always. It's just submitting to God's command, without knowing how or why it will come about."

Dabi scowled.

"Some things are unforgivable," Shoto said darkly.

Shine shut her book. "No, they aren't. I never want to hear you say that again in my presence. Do you understand me?"

They were shocked at her tone.

"Dang..." Camie was nervous.

"Wow," Dabi said, "That's harsh, Likstar."

"No, it isn't. You are being foolish." Shine was looking right at Shoto. "Words have power. The more you say that, the more you will believe it. And you are not entitled to hold any sin above your own in importance. Don't be a hypocrite. You think you can claim that? If Jesus would die for us all, then nothing is unforgivable. That is what we believe...and I for one will not listen to anyone say otherwise during these times. If you don't want us to resent you, then don't bring resentment into our group."

Shoto was chastened, almost to the point of getting really upset. He went silent.

"I think...uh, it's just harder, for some of us," Momo tried to help, "We haven't all gone through the same things. I don't know if we can speak to them with authority."

Shine tilted her head. "It would be true regardless."

"See this is the one thing I really hate about your faith." Dabi flipped his own book over. "No matter what anyone does, they get off scott free, not just if they're sorry, but even if they aren't, because we have to let them off the hook. What the h--- kind of justice is that?"

"Why, Touya, it's hell that is justice," Shine said, "and don't think they get off scott free, as you say. [Let's not bring Mr. Miracle into this.] God will judge everyone who does not repent in His own Time, but the Word says He does not want any of them to perish. He gives them time to repent, and really, until death, we don't know who will and who won't. That was in the book too. Jesus taught in that one parable that the people who start work at the beginning of the day, and those who start at the last hour before the day's over will be paid the same wages. And who is to judge? If God wants to pay us all the same kind of mercy no matter what, that is His business. For all we do to each other, what's the point of counting?"

She tugged her hair. "No one is really innocent, are they? And revenge only proves that. If you're willing to kill because someone else did, just to pay them back, you prove you had no more value for human life than they did, and you might have done the same any other way. Those of us who let God decide show we really mean what we say. That's how it is."

Dabi sniffed. "But we have to live with it."

"And God is angry at the wicked every day, according to the word," Shine shot back, "Do you know how much evil He sees every day? Some done in his name, sadly enough. Yet he still gives us mercy every morning... The wicked will be struck down, Touya, but we are all wicked. It should be our hope that if we can see that, others can too."

Dabi shrugged. "Like I said, I don't like it."

"That was not a requirement for it being true." Shine was firm.

Dabi shrugged again. "Fair enough."

"All that you're saying," Shoto spoke up, "if it is true...I know a lot of people who'd be considered bad. What do I do with that? I wouldn't call them bad."

"And that's nice of you, Shoto, but your standard is not universal. You couldn't possibly understand Good and Evil that well," Shine said, "and you really should give up measuring people by bad and good. I don't myself."

"That's cray cray," Camie said, "but, like, you talk about it all the time."

"Yeah, to prove a point," Shine said, "If everyone accepted that we all suck, I'd not bother talking about it. There are far more interesting subjects than our own goodness to talk about, but everyone is always so ready to say they're good and they deserve good things, and I'm just so glad I'm free from needing to prove that...though I still inevitably will try and fail...and I can laugh about it, at least."

Camie giggled. "I like your style... Screw trying to prove ourselves. Yeah, it's never gonna convince the haters anyway."

"True that," Shine echoed Camie's slang tone, "The haters are just gonna hate, hate, hate, if that's what they want to do."

"Well, I think I learned a ton from this," Camie said cheerfully, "Good talk, everyone." She pulled out her phone to take a selfie or make a meme-- they weren't sure.

The group separated to go to their separate activities, but Shoto was still bothered.

"Shine...I haven't really talked to my family yet about what you've been teaching me," he said.

"Uh huh..." Shine wondered how Endeavor would take that little morsel of information.

"Do you think I should?" Shoto asked, nervously.

"Oh..." Shine wasn't ready for that. "Well...um...there's a time for it, to be sure... You should. Yes."

"Why did you hesitate?"

"I was wondering why this came up now, and if I should tell you to, but that's just fear talking. It's only right to let them know," Shine said.

Dabi was eavesdropping from the next room on this. He leaned in closer.

"I don't know if they're going to like it, all this about forgiving. In fact, I'm almost certain Natsuo would hate it," Shoto said, "and I don't think he'd like that I'm...considering what you've said."

"You are?" Shine smiled.

"Of course," Shoto said, "I mean, I see that you live by it...and you're a lot happier and better than I am, I think. And if you can forgive Dabi for trying to kill you, then I should...but I'm still...not sure I'm ready, but I'm thinking about it. And...I don't think my family would like it...and then there's my father..."

"Ah..." Shine said.

"I still don't know if I can forgive him."

"I told you, Shoto, it's not a feeling. I didn't feel like it with mine...but it sets you free from living out the past in your future. It cuts the strings." Shine's eyes literally sparkled. "Trust me. It's for your good too."

Shoto nodded. "I never heard anyone explain it like that before... I kind of thought forgiveness was something you had to earn, and I didn't see how my father could ever earn it...but you're saying it's a gift we all need, and that makes it a little different...but it's still not easy."

"Nope. But I'm proud of you for getting this far in thinking about it." Shine was sincere.

Shoto reddened. "Right...but I think my family will feel... betrayed if I said that."

Always so blunt. She loved that about him.

And it was hard...

"I...know..." Shine said.

Shoto blinked. "What?"

"I know they might," Shine said, "I wish it wasn't so, but...it's not easy, you know, for family... No doubt Natsuo feels bad already that he is not like you and your sister."

"He has said that he wished he was kind like us."

"Yes, but it's his choice to believe what he does about your father." Shine had a good guess how Natsuo felt. "My family is one huge mess of holding grudges, so I know just what goes down. I'm sure he feels justified...but he isn't, and you don't have to sympathize with him if you don't want to. Not that you should say that...but...don't feel like it's betraying him or your mom if you do decide to move on."

"My mom is okay with it," Shoto said, "but...I still feel like it's not fair to her to accept my old man."

Shine nodded.

Shoto blinked, like he'd only realized it once he'd said it. "Oh..."

Shine put a hand on his shoulder. "Listen, Shoto...you have your own pain, and that's your business, but holding onto pain on someone's else's behalf, especially if they are not even asking you to, is just a huge, foolish waste of time. You're not going to like this, but it's not for you to carry your mom's grudge. No one should put that on you. I don't think she is, is she?"

Shoto shook his head. "She's never said that..."

"And you must stop trying to prove to her you are not your father," Shine cut right to the quick, "Don't prove it to Natsuo either. You are not him, and I know that, and we all know that, and you should know that too."

She paused. "I'm going to say this, whether you like it or not, because I love you and I need to be honest: I've thought for a very long time that most of your lingering resentment for your father is just on your mom's behalf. He's done his best to make it right. And I think on your own behalf, you might forgive him...but you can't let go of what he did to her."

Shoto didn't argue. "Yeah, that's true... She didn't deserve it."

"Yes, Shoto, but she married him."

"She was forced!"

"I don't know how forced she was, but she agreed to it, and that was her choice," Shine said, "That's not to say it's her fault, but she has her own choices to rethink, and you have yours, and for that matter, so does your dad. Now from all I know of him, he's really rethought some stuff. So have you. So why not just accept you both fricked up and let him be different?"

Shoto thought. "But if that doesn't help my mom...should he just get to forget us?"

"I don't think he ever will, Shoto... It might be better if he could. Being haunted by your past is not healthy. But...Sweetie," Shine rubbed his hair lightly, "you know it's not your job to make sure this comes out right. Don't carry that burden... There's an old saying, 'let God be God, and you can let Man be man.' I think you should apply that. Justice is not in your hands, and that's good... Just live your own life. Isn't that what Deku tried to tell you? The next step of that is going to be forgiving your dad. I don't care what the world says about a right to be angry. We don't get our rights, and we shouldn't demand them either, except the basic right to respect...not to revenge. That's not a right. Even if it is, if we want to have our mercy, we'd better be willing to show it."

She tilted her head. "I promise you, if you truly accept that, you will never regret it."

Shoto swallowed the lump in his throat. "I...know you're probably right...but I still...remember it all."

"That's okay... We can work on that. Cece can help you too. I mean what is on you."

Shoto sighed. "Okay...I'm going to try..."

Shine smiled really wide. "That's great."

"But I still think they won't like it... Well, Fuyumi would... Uh...I was wondering..." Shoto felt nervous now, "should I tell them about...Dabi?"

"Like he--!" Dabi burst into the room.

"Touya!" Shine scolded, "This was not meant for you!"

Shoto glared at him too.

"Well, good thing I was listening then, you little rat!" Dabi glared at Shoto.

"I'm afraid Dabi is part of this decision," Shine admitted, "Which, for the record, I was going to tell him before you interrupted, but it's a fair question, Touya. They ought to know you're alive."

"I don't want that! I ran off to get away from this freaking family!" Dabi said, "And I don't want to make nice with them. Shoto can do what he wants, but not me!"

"It will be just as important for you as for him, if not more so," Shine said, "because you were forgiven more. And to whom much is given, much will be required." She was firm.

"Well, I'm not doing it!" Dabi said, "Maybe I'll come to terms with it all, someday, if I'm lucky, but I won't talk to that b----d!"

He was almost on fire.

Shine held up her hand, before Shoto could say something.

"I won't ask you to do that. I don't think you're ready anyway...but they could at least know you're alive. You were always going to show yourself, weren't you? I'm not at all against your notion that they need to face what happened with you, but I am much more for them facing it with you not trying to burn the whole house down. Let them deal with it. You don't need to be there, but they could at least know."

Dabi hesitated. "While I did want that...what about the new stuff...?"

"They ought to know the truth as much as you should." Shine crossed her arms. "Shoto shouldn't have to keep this secret. I told you I thought it wasn't fair. And let's all be honest with each other. Do you really think it is fair?"

Pause while Dabi held back a snide remark.

Shoto frowned, but then he made a huge effort to not lose his temper.

"I...guess I can see why you don't want them to know," he said with difficulty, "but I know Fuyumi would want to know, and Natsuo he really...misses you..."

"And you think," Dabi looked much like his old, bitter self as he spoke, "that they'd want to know what I turned into?"

This was the most honest he'd been about it, and the rawness shocked Shoto enough that he forgot to be angry for once.

He looked serious. "I...don't know."

He looked at Shine.

She was thinking.

Finally she said, "The truth sets you free... Touya, I do not know. But I do know if I were you, I would tell them regardless. I told the truth about what happened to me to my family, and they didn't like it...but I told them. I felt more free for that...and yes, they may reject you, but how can you be worse off? Give them a chance-- at least your siblings. They aren't to blame for what happened. And if that goes well, we can talk about your parents, in the distant future. And I won't force you to do anything, but my gut is, it would be better if they knew."

She smiled a little wryly. "Especially for Natsuo. He may never get over it... You see, lies are like that. A real fact is acceptable. Natsuo can't accept what happened, because it didn't happen. It's not fair to ask him to do that. Let him have his chance."

Dabi, now that he'd had a few weeks of not spending every waking moment thinking about his family and his past, had shifted a little in his view toward his siblings.

A lot of the hate he felt for them had been based on the situation, and he did have nicer memories of them, at least...

So he very grudgingly said, "I guess it's okay if they know...but I'm not talking to them unless I know for certain they won't go running to Pops or the law or whatever."

"I think we can rule the police out," Shine said, "As for Endeavor, let's not worry about him. I'm sure he's the last person Natsuo would tell, and Fuyumi will probably not if you ask her not to."

Shoto had a feeling if he just told Fuyumi that Dabi might go ballistic if she did, she'd stay quiet, but threatening her would be a mean thing to do.

Dabi went off after that, to stew over it.

"That was a miracle," Shine said to Shoto, "I didn't think he'd agree."

"Yeah...me neither..." Shoto was stunned. "But that means I have to. I...don't... I mean...would you...?"

"Come with you?" Shine asked.

Shoto nodded. "It's just...uh...I think I might screw it up if I tried, because I tend to not explain things very well...and I might also make them freak out. You always calm people down."

Shine smirked. "I think Wally is better at that."

"I'm more comfortable with you, since you know more about it." Shoto was blunt.

"Well, I'm happy to help if you think you need it... Actually, you're probably right." Shine was honest.

"Okay," Shoto said.

* * *

That was how Shoto and Shine ended up going to the Endeavor household for dinner.

Of course they were all getting ready to move out before too long.

Fuyumi remembered Shine and was happy to see her again. She apologized for the mess.

Shine and her got to talking about teaching before Natsuo joined them.

Fuyumi told Shine about Natsuo getting attacked not too long ago. Shoto had mentioned it too.

Natsuo seemed embarrassed about it and shy around Shine.

Well, she was very pretty and closer to his age, so perhaps that had something to do with it, but as she openly talked about her boyfriend, he probably didn't have any idea like that. It was just intimidating.

Endeavor was home but made no appearance.

Fuyumi asked tentatively if it was okay to invite him in.

Shoto looked at Shine.

Shine didn't think it was the best idea without clarifying some things.

She whispered to Shoto.

"We can, but after dinner, can we talk to you both privately?" Shoto said, "It's...important."

"Something Dad can't hear?" Fuyumi said.

Shoto said nothing. What was there to say?

"Then sure." Natsuo was all for it. "But why is your supervisor involved?"

Shine laughed. "I wear many hats... Shoto and I are also friends. And I train him outside of class too."

"Oh, that's nice," Fuyumi said, "What do you teach?"

"Ethics."

"I didn't know they had an ethics course...but it's a hero school. Of course they do."

"Oh, if only..." Shine muttered under her breath, "It's more of a club activity, actually."

"Shoto, you're in a club?" Fuyumi was thrilled."You're making more friends? I'm so happy for you."

"I have made a few..." Shoto said.

"Does he have to join us?" Natsuo grumbled.

"Well, I'd like to talk to him," Shine said, "I know your father."

Natsuo shot her a strange look. "What pro are you again?"

"Not one." Shine took a sip of water.

Endeavor was called.

He seemed surprised to be invited at all but more so when he saw his "guest."

"What are you doing here?" He wasn't mad. He seemed kind of tired actually.

Shine hadn't seen him since the attack and hadn't talked to him then, so she hadn't noticed, but Endeavor really looked depressed... She felt kind of bad for him.

Natsuo was glaring at him icily.

"Visiting, sir," Shine said politely, "Is that okay? I should have asked you first, but it just sort of happened. Shoto invited me."

"I suppose it's all right, then." Endeavor sat down.

Awkward silence.

"So, uh, Miss Likstar was just telling me she teaches an ethics club at Shoto's school," Fuyumi tried to save the situation, "And...uh, what do ethics cover?"

"Oh, right and wrong, the key to the universe," Shine said drolly, "personal issues, all of it. It's a real inclusive field. Envelops all of life."

Natsuo stared at her oddly.

"I don't remember UA having a club," Endeavor said.

"Well, it's new," Shine said.

"I see..." Endeavor just started eating-- not that much.

This went on for a long time. Fuyumi and Shine kept the conversation going. Shoto was silent, but he usually was at meal times, and his silence didn't feel as smothering as the other two men's.

Shine recognized Natsuo's behavior. She'd seen it enough times from her own parents and herself. She wanted to smack him and tell him it was a waste of time, but she knew better than to say anything out loud.

Endeavor said a few things to her politely, but other than that, he was clearly uncomfortable.

He then went to do the dishes afterward.

"He's been helping more," Fuyumi told Shine, "I mean, uh, it's great that he's a hero and still does housework, not that it's unusual for Dad to be helpful..."

"Fuyumi, I know Shoto quite well," Shine said carefully, "I know more than Deku and Bakugo ever did."

"Oh..." Fuyumi said, "I see. Uh...well..."

"It's okay. I have a very similar situation in my family," Shine said nicely, "I'm not one to judge... That was better than most of our get togethers are."

"Oh...sorry to hear that-- I mean, thank you," Fuyumi said.

Shine laughed. "I'm not sensitive about it. It's fine... Actually that's what Shoto and I need to talk to you about, but I was going to have a word with your dad first."

"Oh, you are friends?"

"I guess we are." Shine followed Endeavor.

[Whew...that was a lot.

I know a lot of what I wrote about forgiveness here is not going to sit well with some people. And I get it, but I have to write what I think works.

I know it's what worked for me in my life. And it's what we're taught.

If you don't like it, well, don't leave hate comments, okay? I respect your opinion, but I don't agree.

Also, the next part ought to be really good. I hope you're all ready for that emotional ride.]