https://youtu.be/jFg_8u87zT0

[You Found Me--The Fray]

The LOV, such as it was, was hiding out at an old lair, but no one was easy about it.

Shigaraki might have been at an all time low, really. He didn't think he was, but the others thought he was depressed.

Silk and Compress were just not happy about Mirko. Spinner wasn't either.

And Twice's absence left a hole. So did Medea's.

"They aren't coming back," was Shigaraki's statement on it.

"Sir," Compress said, "if I may, this has to stop."

Shigaraki shot him a sidelong glance. "Master will find us eventually, or we'll find him again."

"That is not what I meant," Compress said. "How long are you going to let what that rabbit said bother you? She's probably over it by now. We have to go on with things. Next time things won't end so well if we let this fester."

"You heard her. She's done," Shigarkai said. "And it was probably overdue."

"What, because AFO doesn't like her?" Compress said peevishly. "That enough reason for you?"

Silence.

"What about what you liked?" Compress pushed. "Don't lie to me, it was clear you liked her. Who cares what AFO thinks? He's got his revenge now. What more does he need from you?"

"What are you saying, Compress?" Shigaraki said warningly.

Compress curbed himself. "I just mean...if All Might is gone, what are we even doing? Hero Society is already going to crumble at this rate. AFO doesn't need us to help him. He's got a bunch of people working for him. So...what is the League going to do?"

"We've just expanded," Shigaraki said. "AFO started this anyway. I was helping him and continued it for him, but he's got resources we don't."

"And where did he get them? This new batch of cutthroats is just a little too convenient," Compress said. "I don't know where they came from, but they aren't like the others." He shuddered. "I think all of us remaining would prefer to be on our own again. Wouldn't you?"

"We're nothing on our own," Shigaraki said. "Just four of us left. That's not enough. We need Master's support to rebuild."

"But I don't want a bunch of strangers in our little group," Compress said. "I hate getting used to a new cast-- What I'm saying is, why work for AFO? We did just fine without him."

"He was always there, in the background," Shigaraki said.

That was only too true. 

"Still, if we were on our own, Mirko would probably not mind if we kept on," Compress said. "We could invite her and Medea back, maybe not to live with us, but to meet up-- you know, work on missions together, that type of thing... Personally, I thought that was fun. Didn't you?"

Shigaraki said nothing.

"Are you really okay with losing them?" Compress said. "And Twice?"

"What does it matter? They were free to go," Shigaraki said shortly. "And I don't care if they do."

Another pause.

"I think you do," Compress said, getting fed up. "Is this any time to deny your feelings? You know, you lose a chance like this, and it probably won't come back." He shook his head. "Take it from me, you don't want to make that mistake."

Silk looked up, holding some cards. She turned over an ace of hearts. "And from me, if that means anything," she said.

She came over and put a hand on Compress's shoulder. "Truthfully, Compress stuck his neck out to retrieve me, and if he hadn't done that, I'd probably still be wasting away in that cult... I mean..." she winced, "I guess they still...problem...but, I was better off with the League. But he had one chance to do that, that is what we're saying. More time and it would have been too late. You don't want to play roulette with things like this."

"I don't even know what you're saying," Shigaraki said.

"If you have something to say to someone, or to ask them, or to get clear, you should do it," Compress said severely, "not let them get away."

"I don't have anything to say to anyone," Shigaraki said.

Silk sighed. "What is this? Some kind of complex? You think you're just not worthy of more than being someone's highly trained dog?"

Shigaraki stood up. "I think you just crossed a line," he said tightly. "Watch what you say, Silk."

Silk recoiled. "Fine, sorry if I hurt your precious, non-existent feelings." She stormed away.

Compress shook his head. "You know, we're just trying to help," he said gloomily. "But of course, it's no use... Too little, too late... You know, I'm starting to regret a lot of things in my life, and one of them is how flippant I have always been with these situations. I think it may have finally caught up to me." He walked away too.

Shigaraki sank back down and put his head in his hand.

Whatever they were talking about, he didn't understand... He was starting to be tired of not understanding, finally. He didn't understand what happened, he didn't understand how everything had changed in such a short time, and he didn't know why it pissed him off.

But he kind of felt mad that the League had split up so fast, and that Mirko had ditched them.

Giving her words a bit more consideration in the last several days, he'd started to kind of understand that at least. She probably was angry. It was understandable that she would be--her allies were dead. He could, sort of, sympathize with that, as much as he did with anyone.

But was there any call to blame them? They didn't kill any of them--and why exactly did he care if she blamed him? Killing Heroes was nothing new to the League, and she knew that.

But it did bother him.

And he thought of what Shine had said to him too, to stop him...that she didn't believe he would, and that it would break her heart if he did. Was there a reason he'd stopped?

Well, he didn't like to mess with people's hearts. That seemed serious.

But why would Shine even think it would matter?

And then...All Might...and that reveal about Nana, and all the rest, it was all true. AFO had never explained any of it to him... He was itching to ask him, literally, but also he kind of feared it. He didn't know what the answer would be, but it promised unpleasant memories in any case.

To think it really had been the woman from that picture...connected to All Might...

All Might was dead too. He couldn't ask him any more about it...not that he'd have wanted to...right?

Midoriya might be the only one who'd know any more now, but he'd probably not talk. Shigaraki had learned enough about human psychology in the last several months to be aware Deku would likely hate them all after what happened.

He'd know how it felt to lose his mentor now...only it was permanent for him...

It was weird--wanting All Might dead for so long, Shigaraki had never once considered how permanent death really was. AFO perhaps had led him to ignore that aspect of it when he killed people, using their hands to keep them around, as it were. But this time it was clear. He wasn't coming back.

In a way, it was empty.

Shigaraki didn't as yet realized this was because, in the end, he'd see All Might was just a man, like anyone else and not a Symbol. And in the end, men die, and that is all there is to it, for most. Only a few people would even miss All Might for who he really was, aside from the label, and Shigaraki was not one of those people. He was only just aware enough to find it unsatisfying.

And another thing-- All Might's death had been his goal, so now what? Having not achieved it personally, he really had nothing to show for all that effort.

AFO had depowered All Might and killed him, all without Shigaraki's help, so...what was he even doing?

[Even on the show, you notice, AFO steals the win from Shigaraki when he gets the chance, showing how little he really cares about his dreams. No one's pointed that out yet that I know of.]

* * *

Shine found the Bakugo household pretty subdued.

Camie was already there, but Mitsuki told Shine Katsuki would not come out of his room.

Camie was kind of mad about it. "Like, you don't just ghost your GF," she said.

"Yes, well, Katsuki still has his immature points," Shine said, "but who doesn't?"

"I hope you're here to straighten him out," Mitsuki said. "I told him to stop being such a weakling and moping about it, but he's stubborn as always."

Shine gave her a scathing look. "Well, I'm not surprised, if that's what you said."

"Well, I said I know it sucked and I was here for him, and he still didn't answer me," Camie said.

"Of course. He doesn't want you to see him like this," Shine said. "He's ashamed of it." She bit her lip. "But I've seen him upset before. He may be less ashamed with me. I will try to talk to him."

Mitsuki sniffed but didn't stop her.

Shine went and knocked on Bakugo's door.

"Go away, Dad!" Bakugo yelled.

"It's not him," Shine said.

Pause.

"I don't want to talk to you," Bakugo said.

"Well, too bad, I'm coming in. Are you decent?" Shine asked.

"Don't come in!"

"5 seconds to get ready," Shine said.

She counted to 5 and then used her sword to pry the lock open and opened the door.

Bakugo was sitting in a desk chair but had probably been sitting on his bed before, judging from the state of things.

The room was spotless other than that.

Shine noted the All Might posters on the wall.

Wow, it was more like Deku's room, from the brief look she'd gotten inside when they pranked him, than she thought.

"Well...Katsuki," she said, "I suppose you know why I'm here. Camie's downstairs, you know."

"I told Dad I don't want to talk to her," Bakugo said, growling.

"Yeah, I figured," Shine said.

"And if you're here to try to make me feel better--" with disgust, "--then you can just get lost too."

Shine read the obvious hurt between the lines of that phrasing and didn't get mad.

"No." She leaned on the wall. "I'm not here to make you feel better. Feeling better happens with time, or when God says it will. Sometimes we have to let go first. Other times, we just have to wait it out. But you don't have to feel better to be doing better. I want to be sure you're okay."

"I'm fine," Bakugo lied.

Shine raised an eyebrow.

"Well, what the h--- do you expect me to say? All Might's dead!" Bakugo said. "And we failed. It's hella infuriating."

"Remember what I said about anger taking the place of every other emotion for some people?" Shine said. "Sure, it's infuriating. I'm angry too... Easier to be angry than sad, isn't it...? But you know, Katsuki, for once, I don't want to lie to myself. I think you'll understand this better than anyone else-- I am angry. I'm angry that I couldn't stop this, I'm angry that my kids who I've gotten so fond of have to suffer this, I'm angry that the bad guys got away, and I'm angry that the people from the different fold are still ensnared in the enemy's trap... And you know what? I'm scared too-- that I wasn't enough, and that I won't be enough, to see all this through. That's what I am...and at bottom, I'm sad. How about you?"

Bakugo scowled. "Don't try to pity me."

"Who's pitying you? Other than you, that is," Shine said.

"What?!"

"I think you're being quite selfish," Shine said candidly. "Not answering Shoto's texts, or mine, or Wally's, and, most of all, Camie's. Sulking in here when your parents are trying to help you--well, you dad is anyway. Even if you didn't need the help, you could have taken it just so the rest of us can feel useful, because we all feel just as useless and pathetic as you do right now. But you think you have it so much worse, you can just ignore us all. Tell me what it sounds like."

Bakugo glared like he might attack---then thought better of it. He'd learned some stuff too in the last several months.

"Well, it's just easier to deal with it alone," he said.

"Easier for you, but if you go dark on us like this, you're adding to our worries," Shine said. "And I get it, you need space--we all do-- but it's been days. It's just cruel to leave Camie out there like that. If you don't get your butt down there and tell her you appreciate her efforts here, so help me, I'm going to drag you down there. I don't care what you do after she leaves. You can sit in here and sulk and cry and be miserable, but you do not get to treat people who love you like that, Katsuki. Do you understand me?"

Bakugo flinched.

Shine waited.

"Yes..." Bakugo grumbled.

"Good," Shine said.

Then she came closer. "But on a different note...I know, baby, I really do." She hugged him gently from over his shoulders. "You'd be surprised how many of us have lost a mentor figure in the group. I have. Wally has. So there's no need to be ashamed of it."

Bakugo stiffened, then relaxed a little and leaned on her.

"I wanted to be able to help," he muttered. "I know you're going to say, we can't freaking save everyone and that s---, but I... What's the point, if you can't save the people you want to the most?"

Shine sighed.

"I don't know all the answers to that, only that who we want to save is very subject to our own whims, not the master plan. If we all could choose, no one would die, right? But people die, eventually. All Might chose it, though. Don't pity him." She smiled a little. "We all aren't so lucky. And you know, Katsuki, he trusted you. You're one of the only people who knew him very well. Maybe you didn't save him, but you helped him. We can do that-- we can't guarantee the results. We've been over that before...but I know putting into practice is much harder. You think I don't have to let go every single time?" She sighed again. "Over time, I won't say it's easy, but it's simpler. As you lose your ego and realize that God works things out."

"And how is this going to work anything out?" Bakugo growled. "God could have saved him. He saved all the rest of us."

"And do you know all the things God knows?" Shine challenged. "God knows the right time for us to die, Katsuki. If All Might had lived, perhaps another time he would have had less of a noble way to go out-- AFO exploiting him, even. Would that have been best? He was going to die eventually. I don't mean to sound cold. I think we should mourn the loss, but not the way it happened. I see no dishonor there. I'm sorry, but not sorry for him. Do you think he'd ask God to save him, if he could have?"

Bakugo was silent for a moment. "No," he said. "All Might would never beg God to do that, if he decided to risk his life."

"There you go," Shine said. "God knows best... There are times it doesn't make any sense, but that's to us... The interlocking pieces of all this, turning together, we can't see it. We see the few lives of the people around us, and sometimes the pattern is clear, and sometimes it isn't. Sometimes we see it with time, and sometimes we never see it, in this life. But I know God well enough by now to know that He always has reasons, so He has one for this. He does not ask us to like it, only to trust that it is there."

Bakugo was quiet again, then he straightened finally. "Deku won't think that's any comfort."

"I know," Shine said. "Wally hopefully will have more for him. He's good at things like this. He helped me when I went through something similar." She smiled fondly. "But for now, we're talking about you..."

"Enough about me." Bakugo got up. "Sitting around like this won't change anything."

This signaled he was trying to calm down.

Shine moved towards the door. "I hope it's not too soon to say this," she said, "but...you know, you don't need All Might to become the best Hero. It was nice to have him, but there is always another way. You can live up to his hopes for you without his help. Someone's work doesn't die with them. And I trust that you are determined enough to keep going. And he would have too. You were never the one he worried about. Deku is the one who worries us all."

Bakugo looked down. "But he chose Deku," he said.

It was still hard to say.

Shine tilted her head. "It's better to exalt the weak, Katsuki. All Might knew that. One of the things we actually agreed on, I think. The strong will get stronger on their own. Too much power corrupts. You have enough power already. Trust me. I always knew that. Why do you think we never fought?" She winked.

Bakugo looked up, surprised.

"That, and I thought I'd probably end up hurting you if I had to actually try." Shine shrugged. "Both. All Might did choose Deku. But we chose you. That means you can be better then Deku. No one can limit you potential, remember that. With God, we all are capable of way more than humanly should be possible. Deku has All Might's gift because that's all he was capable of grasping. I think you'll grasp a lot more." She smiled. "I'm sure All Might knew your potential. I used to hear him tell the other teachers you were amazing and talented. But I knew that already --though I don't care about quirks, but I digress..."

She left the room.

Bakugo had a moment of choking up now that he was alone, but he finally got it under control and came out to where Camie and Masuru were drinking tea.

Camie looked up and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Well, it's about d--- time," she said.

Bakugo looked down. "Sorry...I kept you waiting."

"You should be." Camie got up and walked up in front of him. "I was worried sick." She pretended to swat him. 

Bakugo just took it.

Camie sighed. "Ah, well, I'll let it slide, since you came out." She hugged him.

Bakugo had gotten used to this enough on their trip not to get overly embarrassed, though his dad watching made it worse.

But then Masuru came up and hugged both of them. Which was hecking awkward too.

But Shine's look dared him to say anything mean--and he didn't really want to anyway.

Mitsuki was watching from the kitchen in total shock at what was happening.

"Don't ever ghost me again, okay?" Camie finally mumbled.

"Yeah..." Bakugo said, trying not to sound on the verge of breaking down again.

Masuru stepped back. "So, uh, Camie, you want to stay for dinner...? And, Miss Likstar, you're welcome also."

"I would," Shine said, "but I think I need to check on someone else. This whole day has had me thinking... Oh, Shoto's doing okay, by the way."

"Is he?" Camie said. "He literally just group texted me that his dad and him are having this super long convo about our trip."

"Seriously?" Shine said. "Great, when I get back there, I'll be answering all kinds of questions about that... Oh, well."

"What trip?" Masuru said.

"We went on a training field trip," Camie said glibly. "It was totes eye-opening. Worked on our people skills, just like in remedial."

"Oh, that's nice." Masuru and Mitsuki never really asked Bakugo about school, for obvious reasons.

Shine excused herself, and the four of them had a surprisingly non-violent dinner. Mitsuki took it easy on her son for once and didn't jab him too much. Camie was more somber than usual, but at least she wasn't depressed.

Bakugo finally began to feel less like a dark cloud was hanging over him. He was still going to be upset, but he thought he could function and eventually get to be okay with it...but Deku...

* * *

Shine's final stop was to see Kayla and Ren-- really to see Rumi.

Kayla was kind of reeling from losing her quirk... As of now, though AFO hadn't seemed able to use it, she still wasn't able to use it herself. Her hair remained devoid of blueish tints.

Of course, to the formerly indoctrinated-against-quirks girl, that didn't seem like the worst thing ever, just that she'd just been getting used to it, and now she was robbed. But she said she'd be okay even if it didn't come back.

Shine said it might still come back, with a bit more effort, but Kayla said not to worry about it for now. She was sure Shine had other problems.

True enough.

Rumi was not around at the time. The memorial for the Heroes was being planned, and they wanted the other Top Heroes there, naturally.

And she had work. But all that felt about as interesting as a school test to her now.

Shine waited till she returned, actually glad to think about something other than the sadness. She played games with the other two.

Finally Rumi did come in, and she took it in and sighed. "I guess we're doing this now."

"I can leave if you don't want to talk to me." Shine was hurt.

"No...sorry, it's...a really long day," Rumi said wearily.

"Did you just apologize? Wow..." Ren said. "Take care of her, Miss Shine. I ain't never seen it like this."

"This is no time to joke, Ren," Rumi said tightly.

"I wasn't really joking," Ren said more seriously, "just trying not to be a wet blanket."

Kayla sighed.

Shine and Rumi went outside to the small yard behind the dorms.

"You want to talk about it?" Shine asked.

"I'd rather not," Rumi said dully. "Medea gave me this speech about not giving up, and I guess she's right, but beyond that, I have no clue what to do, what all this was for. And there's three people dead...so yeah, what's there to say?"

"I guess that does sum it up," Shine said. "But I'm concerned about more than the deaths. There is a problem that we still can affect... Did you hear what happened with Shigaraki yet? Before you got there."

"I think I ran into him first," Rumi said, "before the building fell over."

"Oh...well, then you did... Okay, fill me in, and I'll fill you in," Shine said.

They swapped stories

"That and then what happened with me," Shine and in awe, "wow."

"What happened with you makes it worse," Rumi said. "I mean...great I guess that he listened, but AFO will..."

"I know," Shine said. "If he finds out... I hope Tenko is at least not stupid enough to tell him. But it will not matter... All this shows too much. I wish he'd have come with me and joined us. I'd feel better."

"Be honest, we both knew that was never going to happen," Rumi said flatly. "Villains don't just switch sides."

"I know multiple ex-Villains that say otherwise."

"That's rare... Anyway, it's not just about the villain part. He's never going to leave 'Master.'"

"When your competition is a 60+ year-old guy without a face, you know it's fricked," Shine said. "Though, hey, you've made quite the impression, I'd say. Good for you."

"Good for me. Right." Rumi leaned on the wall, head on her knees. "I'm not used to feeling like a colossal failure. I'm also not used to not knowing what to do. But ever since this started, I feel that way all the time."

"Good," Shine said. "Being sure of yourself all the time is a sign of Deadly Pride. Sure of God is one thing, but of oneself... I'm not sure, more often than not."

She shrugged. "You have been unsure a lot because you were out of your comfort zone. But that's good. And now here we are."

"Silk and Medea were trying to say something really nutty about them needing me or something." Mirko snorted. "Can you believe that?"

"Sure I can. I agree," Shine said.

Mirko scoffed. "Yeah, right."

"Why is that so terrible, mi amiga?" Shine asked. "Is it because you try to make sure no one relies on you for anything personal?"

"Stop that," Rumi said, "that analyzing thing. It's so freaky when you do that."

"Sorry." Shine went quiet.

But of course now she had her interest.

Rumi had begun to realize that Shine was actually sensitive about being told to buzz off-- she just hid it so well only people who knew her for a long time would notice the change in her demeanor.

"Uh...all right, I was...unnecessarily harsh there..." she said reluctantly. "You were saying?"

"Glad you're honest about it." Shine was savage, but it was deserved. "Well, what I was trying to say was that you just seem to push everyone, even Ren, away and hold them at arm's length. You like to be the hero, but not the counselor, confidante, or support. I mean, look at how our conversations usually go, and I'm quite persistent. I don't know why. You might just be built that way, or you might feel like you're going to fail at that, so you don't want to try. The one arena you're not skilled in, right? But it so happens that desperate people, like the League, will latch onto anything, and so here we are. They'll prefer you to me, because I tried. And Villains don't usually trust people who reach out to them, not for a long time. But you were so frankly unhappy about it, it was disarming. That was my take on it when I saw you interact."

She had it pegged for sure.

Rumi sighed. "Well, I'm still not anyone they're really going to listen to. They could leave crime if they wanted. But they won't do it."

"Not without a better opportunity, but I think it's possible," Shine said. "AFO is the problem."

"Yeah, well, he's not going away," Mirko said. "We got our a---s handed to us by him."

"It wasn't that one sided...but without Wally and I to counter his powers, I admit, it would be difficult. All my students need to learn to use those abilities we passed to them better before I'd say they could take him on, and you've not even started to learn that yet... It's better to just get Shigaraki to leave him."

"I don't think anyone can do that," Rumi said.

Shine glanced at her sideways. "It might take less than you think."

"Don't," Rumi said. "Don't start that."

"I don't mean that exactly," Shine mused. "I just got the sense he was closer than I thought... I don't know, something changed. He's not the same as before. His whole aura is different--it was so slight before. He's more awake now. Didn't you notice?"

"He did seem a little more alert..." Rumi allowed. "But AFO will not let him go...and who knows what he'll do next? After seeing Ujiko, I'd believe they'd do anything."

"So they would." Shine was concerned too. "But I will reach out again if I get the chance. I will reach out as many times as it takes, if I can. Until I'm convinced it's too late. Even then, I may not give up. Things look different to us than to God." She looked at her hands. "I know there is some reason for all this, and I'm not willing to just let it slip through my fingers, whatever I'm supposed to do. Don't lose heart, Rumi. The Bible says we don't mourn without hope. We have hope, and Hope does not disappoint. But we have to go through a lot of crap to get to that fulfillment of it... That's my personal translation."

[See 1 Peter and Romans and 1 Corinthians for what she's referring to.]

 Rumi was silent for a long time, till she said, "I wonder if I lost a chance...if I should have done what I did."

"I would not have done it," Shine admitted. "I think, in light of what happened, it wasn't fair. They were trying."

"But...then, the Heroes dying, I feel like I let it happen."

"I know, but that is a fallacy. As true as it feels, it's not," Shine said. "If you base your actions on that kind of desperation, Rumi, you're going to hurt more people than just you, but you'll be the first."

"So it was wrong to tell them that it's over," Rumi said. "You think so."

"I think, as a Christian, and a DJ, I do not usually play that card," Shine said. "But talking to you, a Hero and citizen of the world, I can't say it might never have to be played. Would I have done it then? No. But you can probably amend it. Surely they know you were upset. The League isn't totally heartless."

"I doubt I'll get a chance to explain, and what would I say? 'Oops, I was harsh, but we still really can't team up anymore,'" Rumi said bitterly. "'Unless you ditched AFO, which we all know isn't going to happened.'"

"I don't know what you should say," Shine said, "but the truth is always a good start."

She just let that hang there, before leaving.

Rumi stared at the sky for a while, not wanting to go in and face Ren at this time.

https://youtu.be/Dddrq61sq4U

[The Fray--How to Save a Life]