In the world, there's always two things that just couldn't get along together, even though in some situations they coexist on the concept of each other, good and evil, happy and sad, pizza and watermelon, and Humans with Honkai.

Honkai is like a disease, it creates horrible monsters which bring nothing but chaos and destruction, with its priority being to destroy mankind.

Pfft what a joke.

I mean, fuck them.

They've been trying for thousands of years, and we're still standing here on earth, living peacefully and being protected.

That is, until- argh let me introduce myself first. I'm Y/n, a young adult who spent all his savings ever since when he was a teenager to hop on a plane, which was hopefully to bring me to a land full of dreams, freedom and potential to be successful there.

But somehow I ended up in America. That's okay too, I took that and stayed in New York city for like a year or two around in 1993.

This is when shit started, several Honkai beasts somehow appeared in the middle of the city, where a laboratory of Schicksal was placed nearby.

Totally no connection. Yep, definitely.

Ah fuck them, who in their right mind would operate to transport some Honkai beasts in the middle of a city just for an outbreak to happen. Ah yes, the smartest man alive, Otto Apocalypse my ass.

With him, humanity is fucked up.

Yeah ima ignore the 500 years of history when he played the most important role of defending mankind. Nope not a single word in my ears~

Welp, as I said, New York? Gone. My friends? Gone. My apartment? Gone. Do I have to pay rent? Fuck no. Yeah, freedom living babe! I don't even have to evade tax because I won't have to pay for it! Ahahaha!!!

Unless you'd get chased by zombies everyday, and without a bike in this world it's hard to live, man. Not to mention I'm gonna die as a virgin.

So, since no one's going to come and save a lonely survivor like me, it's been months already, I'm going to leave a message here so my existence won't be forgotten for real.

And, the last thing I want to do before I die is to lose my virginity to a zombie. A nice looking one of course.

Disgusting, you say? Welp, I don't care.

Good bye forever.

John Y/n.

As some marines from a special squad from the Anti-Entropy read the letter, they couldn't help but to... chuckle a bit then put the letter away, then continue their search in the ruins of a village that has been destroyed by zombies.

"Welp, rest in peace brother." - A marine said as he departed with his friends.

It has been 2 months since Y/n left the letter there to confirm his existence to the world.

On a mountain, there's a small wooden cabin, good enough to be a shelter for someone for the night.

Our protagonist, John Y/n is hiding there, sitting in a corner, sobbing like a little bitch and drinking alcohol.

"Oh god what was I thinking? Okay just recollect it for one more time Y/n, you went into a random house to avoid a horde of zombies.

You go into this bedroom, you found a beautiful girl who has turned into a zombie is tied to the bed, on the floor there's also a corpse of a fat guy that looks like fat dudes from NTR hentai.

So you rescued the zombie because she was half naked, and looked nice, and you were so fucking horny, but on the way... you got bitten in the shoulder by her.

Ahhh!!! I'm going to die!!! Fuck fuck!!!"

He is crying because he's going to turn into a zombie soon, and he's still a virgin.

"Come to think of it, nice looking girls are so aggressive, and most of their bodies are not in perfect shape..." - You said to yourself.

"Arghh.... Warff... wraff...."

The Zombie is groaning in the background, being tied to a wooden plank, and wearing a helmet.

"CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M HAVING A MONOLOGUE HERE FOR THE READERS HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!" - You shouted out loud.

The zombie obviously didn't stop.

"Ah, only if I can come back in time to warn myself to put a metal plate on my shoulder." - You put a hand to your forehead. "Body temperature dropping..."

The time is almost coming, you are losing your sense slowly. There's not much time left for you as a human.

You stood up and walked over to the zombie. Wearing the gloves for her, putting a mouth gag in her mouth and putting the helmet on to her.

Unties her and carries her over to the bed as you stripped your clothes.

"Alright fuck it. I'm not going to die as a virgin."

You said as the zombie rushed towards you, but obviously couldn't hurt you, the best she can do is give you brain damage as she is slamming the helmet against your head.

You hugged her, feeling like if it isn't for her aggressive behaviour, she is just asking for hugs.

"Alright." - You said as you gently rips her underwear off, revealing the secret areas of the map which you need to explore.

Your little boy also gently reveals himself and rubs himself against the zombie's belly, it's so cold so he shrinked.

"Welp we're gonna like the insides..." - You said as you repositioned yourself and the girl without moving or laying down, because the girl won't let you go.

There you go, the dull blade of a coward is inside a scabbard. Although it's cold, the feelings were unthinkable. It's still better than using your hand.

You took her helmet off, she's so pretty, such a shame you can't kiss her, but you're breathing really hard like you got covid, so you went down and play with her pink cherries instead.

You lifted the girl up and dropped her down several times, you can't feel much with your arms, you don't even know your arms are moving, it's like the girl is moving by herself, so quickly, just one minute later, you came inside the girl.

She let out some strange groanings, but you took your excalibur out and put the clothes back on.

"Thank you, I won't die as a virgin now..."

He tries to go away, awaiting for his inevitable fate. But the zombie girl keep crashing herself into his chest.

"AH! Damn it, stop killing me! You took my virginity, you monster!" - You said as you pointed your finger straight to her head, obviously she won't understand but you are the idiot here.

You pushed her off and sat outside the cabin. Awaiting. You're supposed to wait for you to turn into a mindless meat bag.

But you just couldn't get rid of the image of that girl and the pleasure that's still imaginable in your mind.

So you decided to head back inside, playing with that girl until you turned into a zombie.

The next morning.

The zombie girl was covered in your melted ice cream which you got from Walmart, oh and honorable mention, you killed a few zombies with a pistol there.

I swear it's just ice cream.

Okay your baby juice is mixed there too.

The zombie girl remain silent on the bed, as you sucking the ice cream popsicle while sitting outside.

Thinking about all your unholy actions last night.

"God, forgive this forsaken child of yours." - You said as you threw the stick away and heading back inside.

Cleaning the girl's body, lay next to her and cuddle her.

Not giving a shit about how you still haven't transformed yet.

You took a nap. 

When you woke up, you panicked as the zombie girl who was resting beside you disappeared, it looks like she went outside through the door, you rushed out, hoping she's still there.

Only to find some human soldiers immediately point their guns at you, you put your hands up immediately.

"We've found a survivor in the mountains." - A soldier said.

2 soldiers dragged you to go with them, after handcuffed you and put a blindfold on you.

"There's no other survivor!"

A soldier reported after checking the wooden cabin.

After that they get out of there by helicopter. With you of course, you were nervous because you could transform into a zombie at any moment.

They noticed the bite mark on your shoulder, but it has already healed, the scars remain.

You don't know if you should be happy or not, since you've prepared to die out there, but now you're being brought back to human society.

That's what you thought but they put you in an isolated room with a warm bed, you can feel like they're observing you through a hidden class behind one of the walls, or even a hidden camera in the ceiling.

You don't know what to do now, you decided to go over to the bed and take another nap while thinking about your life choices.

Outside it's not as simple as that.

"I can't believe it... he has a strong resistance against Honkai." - The scientist outside, said as he examined Y/n's blood and did some small experiments.

"Sir if this is true, then he might be one of those special cases of males, if not the only one." - The other scientist said.

"... Report this to the higher-ups." - The commander in charge of this military base, belonged to Anti-Entropy said. "Take him out for some physical tests. I want to know if the resistance in his body has an effect or not."

–----

"Hey wakie wakie." - Someone slapped you in the face.

"Ow!" - You woke up immediately and looked to the person who slapped you. "What do you want? I was having a feast with my wife!"

"Dude you don't even have a wife." - It's a military officer who just slapped you, he wear mask and have a pair of gloves on.

"In my dreams!"

"Whatever, we've collected some information about you... John Y/n came to this country from Asia, lived in New York for two years."

You gets off the bed and look at the other officers who have guns with them. While still listening to the informations, you were given a pair of socks and shoes.

"Records said that you've been arrested for 7 times in 2 years, most of them are because you evaded taxes, truly a menace to the society. Not paying taxes is a crime."

"It's an obligation. I'm not going to sacrifice my money to build roads and orphanages."

"Well. Depends on the higher-ups decisions, money might or never bother you for the rest of your life." - He said as he put some papers into your hands, it's some documents. "Follow me outside."

You were escorted by the soldiers, going outside, seeing the sunshine again after spending half a day indoors.

"So mister Y/n, are you still a virgin?" - The officer asked.

"What the fuck, why are you asking? Are you gay bro?"

"No we just happened to found this letter of yours 2 months ago." - The officer said as he taken out a familiar piece of paper, it's the letter you've left behind to confirm your existence to the world.

"Fking cringe."

Some soldier saying.

"I can hear you." - You snapped and said it out loud.

Everyone around, including you, is laughing.

"Everyone makes mistakes."

"Well why are we here?" - They took you to a soccer field that had been remodified into a gym area for the soldiers.

"Well mister Y/n, according to our tests, you have a strong resistance in your body against Honkai, which is extremely rare, we were advised to take you out to..."

"Touch grass?" - You said as you gently touched the grass, and caressed the grass carefully, as if you're touching something nice and soft.

"No, do some physical tests, we wanted to find out if the resistance affected your body or not, please do your best." - The officer said.

"Alright. Just some exercising."

Test results :

Running : 28 laps before getting covid.

Lifting : half a ton.

Vision : being able to read the smallest letters on the board while sitting 20 meters away.

Strength : able to bend metal

Conclusion : too unrealistic for a human being.

Chapter 1 - John Y/n end.

Reader : but isn't it Y/n John? Like, Y/n is usually at the front.

I'm ignoring that.

Anyways this is a, remake version instead of a rewrite of the "What's wrong with you" one.

Firstly, it have so many plot holes. Like, the childhood friend turned into a zombie at a very young age... And when they met again she grown into a fine lady. Where logicc...

Secondly, she was infected in America and separated from Y/n. Then why she's in Asia when he found her.

Yep not to mention it's cwinge. Soooo yeah, i'm not going to take it down by the way, to let you see the huge differences between the original and the remake.