Divya

"Ammu! I don't have anything to wear for the gala tonight." I told her feeling disappointed that I might have to buy a stupid dress for a single event.

I have to save money from now on. I am planning to send Amar to preschool after he turns 3 along with Alex. And the preschool they are planning for is a private one and really expensive, so I can't just waste money on small things like this anymore.

"Come here, You can wear something from my closet and I will inform Andrew to pick you up from here instead," Ammu said.

And that's how I and Amar landed at Amaya's house. I am sitting on the chair while Amaya is showing me all her dresses.

Amar is playing with Alex, Danny, and Elena while Dru is babysitting them. Dru is in high school already, he is growing up really fast. He was a preteen when I first came here and now he looks like a young man.

"I found it, How about this one?" She said showing me a colorful dress which is too much for this event and I nodded no.

"I want something simple Ammu! I don't want any attention on me." I told her lying down on the bed bored out of my mind.

"Get up Divya! You know what I have this dress and I think you will like it." She said and ran outside and got a step ladder, climbed on it, and carried down a big bag.

She unzipped the bag and showed me the most beautiful blue ball gown, with a white top and 3d flowers flowing from the top. That's such a pretty dress. That dress made me get up and put it on me.

"This looks so pretty, Are you sure that I can wear it?" I asked her feeling guilty about wearing her dress.

"Andrew got me this from some designer in New York for our reception here. I just never got the chance to wear it."She said and pushed me into her closet to change.

I put it on and came out and looked at myself in the mirror, I felt nervous looking at myself.

"Oh my goodness! You look amazing. All the men in that ball will go cray-cray." She said clapping and jumping in excitement and I smiled at her.

Amaya came to me and made me sit in front of her dresser and started brushing my hair.

"Ammu! I am scared." I told her truthfully.

Looking at myself like this is scaring me, I never got dressed up after my marriage. Jay hated when I dressed up fancy, he used to yell at me, make me change, and said that I look ugly in them.

"You have to stop listening to his voice in your head. Stop being scared! You have gone through some hard things in life but now it's time to catapult yourself to the next level."  She said setting my hair and looking at me in pain.

She is correct, I have to raise above it all. I am trying to heal my pain, but yet here I am bleeding on people who never hurt me.

I can't keep running around my painful past anymore, I have to face it. By remembering my past I'm just hurting the people I love and who love me.

"Now, put a smile on and show yourself and everyone in the world that you are ferocious and not one to be messed with." She said and kissed me on my cheek.

"Thank you Ammu!" I said and hugged her.

"Get ready stupid world, my cousin is going to sway you off your feet." She yelled happily hugging me.

"Why don't you come with me Ammu?" I asked her one last time applying a little makeup.

"That's not my thing Divya, I'd rather be at home with the kids than at a party, I have a great night planned with Dru and the kids. You go and have fun, don't worry about Amar." She said packing away all the clothes I tried on.

I smiled and felt happy at her care for me and Amar, I am lucky to have her in my life.

"AMMYY! DIVYA! Andrew's here!" Dru yelled, so we both stepped down not wanting him to wait for me.

I found Andrew sitting with Elena in his lap talking to her in a black suit which is complementing his blonde hair and blue eyes.

"Um...Hmm," Ammu cleared her throat gaining Andrew's attention.

He turned his head and kept looking at me, I couldn't understand the emotion his face was showing but it felt good to have to look at me like that. Dru nudged him breaking our eye contact, he looked away, stood up, and adjusted his suit buttons.

"You.. you look...you look beautiful." He said and came towards me.

"Thank you! You look good too! Let's go." I said extending my hand to get a hold of his hand, not being able to walk alone with these heels and a long gown.

Dru gathered all the kids from the playroom and they sang bye as we walked to the door. Amar gave me a kiss and waved me bye.

Ammu walked with us to the door.

"Bye! Andrew, take care of her. Don't leave her alone. And tell your stupid friend to come home as early as possible." She told him as he opened his car door for me to get in and helped me with my dress.

He got in his car and started it as I waved bye to Amaya.

"Are you nervous? Are you comfortable in that dress?" Andrew questioned me as soon as we passed through Amaya's main gate.

"You don't like the dress?" I asked him back feeling the same old pain.

"NOO, I love it on you, You look amazing like a princess. I never saw you dressed up like this and I thought Amy put you up to this." He explained without a pause alleviating my pain.

"I am comfortable in this, You have really great taste," I told him looking at the white flowers complimenting the dress.

"Good! That's one of the last dresses my mom ordered for herself. I'm glad you like it." He said looking at me and I saw the pain in those beautiful eyes. I wanted to hug him and comfort him, it really hurts me to see Andrew in pain.

"I'm sorry! " I said feeling sorry for him and myself that I can't do anything to help him.

We reached the hospital which looks completely different and soon the Valet came by and opened the door for me and I stepped out of the car and went in with Andrew by my side.

The ballroom looks amazing, with all the fancy lights, people dancing and some of them talking.

I found Jameson, Shaurya, and Anna talking to the board members along with Sophie. Andrew held my hand and took me in their direction before I could find Becky and Valerie.

"Wow! Divya, You look really beautiful. Andrew never comes to these when I ask, but one word from you look at him all dressed up." Jameson said with his eyes wide and amazement was written all over his face.

It always feels good to surprise people, Anna came towards me from Sophie, who now has a scowl on her face.

"You look really pretty Divya! Doesn't she?" Ana said nudging Shaurya who agreed with her.

For the first time in my life, I feel confident in my skin, It feels good to not hear snide comments, and they all are truly happy for me. Shaurya and Ana went to meet other people and now it was just me, Jameson, Andrew and Sophie.

"Do you all know her?" Sophie asked and everyone nodded at her.

I never told anyone at the hospital that I'm related to their boss and the Chief Surgeon. I don't want that kind of attention on me.

" How? She just joined 3 months back." Sophie whined holding Jameson's hand.

"She is family," Jameson said proudly hugging me and getting out of her hold.

"Divya is Amaya's cousin, she is also related to Shaurya's dad." Andrew stood by me while Sophie looks impaled by these two men supporting me instead of her.

"Dude! Amy asked you to come home early! Maybe she has a surprise for you." Andrew winked at Jameson who blushed at that comment.

"It was nice meeting you, Dr. Sophie. Andrew, Jamie I will go and meet my friends." I excused myself and walked towards Becky and Valerie who are talking to Chaya, Mark, and Rowan.

It's been 3 months since my job here but Becky and Valerie are the only people I feel comfortable talking to.

"Were you talking to Mr.Browne, Dr. Shaurya, and Dr. Analise? " Becky asked me with a puzzled look on her face. Before I could answer her Chaya beat me and said

"She came in with fucking ANDREW JONES, the only son of the great actress Moira Jones."

Her words shocked everyone including me, I knew his mother was an actress but not this recognizable famous.

"Really! ANDREW JONES, the blonde dimple one who used to be a child actor and went underground after his mother died. How do you know that it's him?" Valerie asked her with the same surprise.

"I saw a pap photo of him in a park recently. And he is my first crush, I can find him anywhere." Chaya said grinning proudly at her accomplishment.

Andrew used to act! Was I living under a rock? Is that the park where we went to last week?

"He is listed in Time's 100 most influential people along with Mr. Browne, they both are in Forbe's 30 under 30 too. And I heard from Dr. Sophie that Global is going to be one of the Fortune 100 companies this year." Mark gave his input looking at Chaya who was on cloud nine looking at Andrew.

This is too much to take in. Does Amaya know all this? Are they really that famous? I looked at Andrew and Jameson in disbelief.

Is this all true? Are they whatever Mark said? Is Andrew really an actor?

Andrew caught me staring at him and raised his eyebrows and questioned me if I was okay, I simply smiled at him and turned away from them not able to digest all the facts given to me.

"Don't look but Mr. Jones is coming towards us. OMG! I'm going to pass out!" Chaya gushed in excitement giggling like a baby.

"Hello everyone! Would you mind if I steal Divya for a dance? " He asked everyone with his killer dimple showing smile, making Chaya shriek in excitement and happiness.

He gave me his hand and I took it and walked away from them.

"You look puzzled!" He stated taking me to the dance floor.

"Why is it every time I think I know you, You always amaze me with new things!" I asked him as we stood before each other ready to waltz.

"Doesn't it make me enigmatic?" He said looping his hand around my back.

"I don't like mysterious people,"  I said moving away from him in a twirl.

"I'm sorry! Did they tell you about my movies? I don't like to talk about my acting career, it reminds me of my mom which is hard for me." He said with pain in his voice.

I should've known how small things like that remind you of your past and hurt you.

"It's okay! You don't have to talk about it Mr.30 under 30." I said and he give me a proud smile with his eyes beaming.

"I was on cloud nine when I saw that and Global is going to be a Fortune 100 company this year." He said what I already knew, but looking at those happy beautiful sea green eyes I couldn't ruin it.

"I am proud of you!" I said as held me closer to his body, and the song ended pulling us apart.

"Let me freshen up a bit!" I said and left the dance floor to the bathroom.

I liked being with him, I liked dancing with him, I liked the proximity between us. And all this can't be happening. I have to learn from my mistakes, life hurt me really bad.

I looked at myself in the mirror and saw the tears covering my eyes.

"Did you see that Indian girl with Andrew? What does he see in her? " I heard someone's voice from the bathroom stall.

"She looks like a poor girl who he had to save from dying." The other voice replied laughing at her own comment.

Their words made me look in the mirror and see myself in a different way.

"What's with them and Indians anyway? Amaya took Jameson away from Sophie and now this girl."

"Maybe they have an Asian kink. Now that Jameson is out of hands, I thought of going to Andrew but with that ugly bitch in the picture, I don't know..."

They continued talking, but after ugly bitch I couldn't listen to anything. It reminded me of the first time I was called that.

I cried myself to sleep all alone in Jay's house on my first night. For the first time in my life, I felt alone and helpless.

I woke up and freshened, went downstairs, and talked to his parents for a while. Jay was not in the house, and that's when his mom told me that he went to the office.

I felt relieved at her words and Aunty also told me about Raghu Thatha's party for Jameson and his brother next week. I wish I could see Amaya there but she told me that she will be leaving. I took a leave from the office for 2 weeks, and I didn't have anything to do.

Jay's family bond is pretty weird to me, after breakfast everyone went to their own rooms, and they don't talk to each other or spend time together as my family does. They all are cold and distant and only talk to each other when needed.

I didn't feel like eating alone, so I skipped lunch and slept in, when I woke up it was 6 PM and Jay was in the room looking at my sleeping figure. I jerked up and sat upright hugging my knees scared that he will hit me again.

"I am really sorry Divya, I don't know what came over me last night. I didn't mean to hurt you please forgive me." Jay said with tears in his eyes holding my feet for forgiveness.

His actions shook me down to the core, I felt sorry for him because I never saw any man cry or beg for forgiveness in my life. Maybe this was a one-time thing I thought to myself and forgave him and he never yelled at me or hurt me that whole week.

I was in my room getting ready to go to Jameson's welcome to the family party. Jameson seems like a nice person by the way he stood up for her and me. She deserves a good life after what my family did to her.

I wore a red sheer saree, Jay's mom gave me and dressed up, and went downstairs. Aunty and Uncle left for the party early and I was waiting for Jay to come back from the office.

The door opened, there he was the man of the hour, I'd been waiting for him for the last 2 hours. I was pissed at him for making me wait. Before I could ask him why he was late he opened his mouth and broke me again.

"Why are you so dressed up? Where are planning to go looking like this?" He said in a disgusted tone looking at me like I am a filthy bug.

His mom is the one who gave me the saree, Is something wrong with this? Do I look bad?

"Why are you looking at yourself? You look ugly bitch. Who are you planning to lure in with that semi-visible saree? Go change and put on something that won't make you look like a slut."

The tongue has no bones but the words that came from his mouth broke my heart and confidence into pieces. The pain gave me tears, I ran to the room and changed into an old dress with full sleeves.

I brushed the tears off, faked out a smile, and looked at Jay who was impatiently tapping his foot.

"How long does it take you to change? Move fast and don't make a scene with those stupid tears, I hate it when a girl cries."  He lashed out again at me.

I walked in and got into his car. I want to jump off this car and run away from him. If he hates me why did he marry me? I just don't understand what is going on with him, he was normal the last week right?

Should I tell my mom and dad that he hit me? How will they react to it? Is it normal for husbands to abuse their wives?

With all these thoughts in my mind, I reached Raghu Thatha's house filled with all my family.

I ran to my mom and hugged her tight, I didn't wanna cry with Jay by my side. He might hit me again. My dad came by and started talking to Jay giving me and my mother some space.

"Maa! I miss you. Can I come home for a few days?" I asked her so I can get away from Jay tonight because I am scared of him.

Is this what a girl's life is? Asking permission to go to her own home.

"Aww, I miss you too Chinnu, but you can't keep coming back every time you miss me and you have to ask Jay and his family too." She said holding my hand.

Did I hear it right? Not only do I have to ask my own mother but now I have to ask Jay and his family too. Is this my new normal?

I am stuck now, Jay would never let me go home.

I left my mom and dad and talked to Raghu Thatha(grandpa) and the others. And then I found Jameson and his brother who look really happy and my cousin made this happen.

"Hey, Divya! How are you doing?" Jameson asked me.

"Hello! I am fine, I heard that Ammu left." I replied to him.

"Yeah, she did. Did you talk to her?"

No, I didn't. I was scared that Jay would hit me again if he knew that I spoke to her.

"No! But please take care of her, she deserves a better life" I pleaded with him.

He nodded and was about to say something when I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, It was none other than Jay, my nightmare.

"I'm sorry but I need to talk to her for a minute."  He said curtly and took me away from Jameson.

"What did I tell you and what are you doing? I specifically told you to not talk to people who disrespected me. Why do keep pissing me off?" He hissed at me holding my hand tight cutting off my blood circulation and smiling at others.

I sat quietly through the whole party scared to go back home with him. Thank God he didn't hit me that night as I faked asleep as soon as we got in.

This is what my life has come down to, being scared and tensed at a place that should be called home.

A big, sad, and loud Sighhh...

That's the chapter, let me know your thoughts. Also, listen to the attached song it's one of my favorites.

I am taking the book out of the hold. Expect more frequent updates from now on.

Don't forget to vote and comment.

Till then...

Keep yourself and your family safe from Corona.

Love,
Sneha