Back to the time when Divya went ballistic and yelled at her father and left the house for Andrew.

Imagine those hypnotic flashback swirls.

Lakshman

How could you do this to her as her father?

How are you living looking at her in pain? 

You are worse than any other human in this world.

Those words have been ringing in my mind ever since we left their house.

I do remember her calling me about the rape, but Jay called me earlier that and and told that they fought about some silly reason and that Divya was furious at him.

Did she really kill her self?

She did the scars on her wrist are the proof.

Then it struck me, the message she sent if she dies, Jay is the reason for it. I thought she was giving out fake threats, because my Divya was never the self harming type, she was a happy little girl.

After telling her to adjust with Jay, she stopped talking to me, she never came home. I thought she was throwing a temper tantrum but I didn't know what I made my daughter do. I made her lose hope on life.

I was barbaric to my one and only child and pushed her to the brink of life and made her kill herself.

I always did please Jay, so he would keep my daughter happy. My only motto was satisfy the son-in-law who's gonna take of your daughter for life.

But I was totally wrong.

Jay is a slick bastard, and so am I because I trusted him over my daughter. I am bring shame to the word father, I don't deserve to be one.

I am the incandescent jerk who made it all happen. I was ecstatic when the super rich people like Jay's family asked for Divya, she told me no from the moment she met him. But I wouldn't budge, because I thought she might never get someone better than this.

I failed miserably, I married her to a devil and made her stay with him for years. I am the reason for my daughters pain, I deserve to die for doing that to the only child of mine.

" It's time for dinner." My wife Sailaja said coming into the room rubbing the sweat of her face with end of her saree.

"Are you okay?" She asked again looking at me.

She always knows what I am feeling, but what is she feeling about all this?

Does she think that I am the reason for all this?

I put our daughter through so much pain, as a mother she tried to stop, fought with me.

Sailaja and me got married when I was 20 and she was 16, being the elder daughter in law of the house she was always looking after everyone's wants and needs. After my little brother got married to Yashodha(Amaya's mom), Sailaja had a companion to share the load and her pain. She was really happy with her back then.

We didn't the financial stability we have back then, me and my brother were building our business back then. After coming back home from long work days all I heard was complaints about my wife from my mother. I was frustrated at my own pathetic helpless life, and took out everything on my wife.

When ever my mom taunted Sailaja, Yashoda stood by her and support her actions while I didn't do anything but sit back. My mom hated Yashoda for being a loud mouth and how my brother always supported his wife. And I didn't show an eighth of love my brother showed his wife.

To be truthful, at that time, I didn't know who to support my mom, the one who gave me life or my wife, the only companion of my life?

On top of that I was being called futile and impotent in giving a child, as Yashoda was pregnant with Ananya.

The comparison was killing me, but I never blamed anyone but my luck for that situation. After an year of Ananya's birth, all our lives got better financially and mentally. Sailaja got pregnant with Divya, my little girl, She always had a smile on her face, which would give me peace after any problem.

My mom and dad went to live with my sister's who were pregnant, everything was going awesome, with three little girls filling up the house with their smiles. Soon the girls grew up, my parents came back home, and then there was always comparison between me and my brother.

I was jealous of my brother at his success in his part of business and how he had 2 little girls, and Yashoda was pregnant again with a baby boy this time. 

But, one dreadful night my brother, his wife, and the baby inside her died in a drunk and drive car accident.I was devastated at the news, I didn't know what to do. All I could see was my little brother's corpse burning in flames, two little girls crying for their parents and my dad devastated with the loss of his favorite son.

We did not having any one to blame for the loss and the pain.So, we blamed Yashoda for going back to her parents house to give the news personally. We ruthlessly kicked out two little girls who lost their parents.

After I realized what I did, I felt guilty for feeling jealous, kicking out two poor souls, for my father's death, for blaming Yashoda for all the things when she was nothing but nice.The torment was killing me on the inside, I wanted to shut every feeling down.

Being alive all I wanted to do was make my mom happy, who was devastated at loss of her husband and son. So, I did everything to see my mom smile and happy.

The cost of making her happy was me being cold and distant, the cost was my daughter's happiness, my own ray of sunshine hating me, the endless tears she cried in the name of me getting her married to a scumbag.

"Where are you lost? Why are you crying?" Sailaja came and sat beside me with a shocked look on her face.

These are the tears I've been holding for the past 25 years.

Men are always told to not cry, but why? We do have the same emotions woman do, It's not like we are programmed with different emotions.

She should be hating me. I will free her from the pain.

"Do you want a divorce from me Sailaja? I am ready to give you one, if you want it. You don't deserve the pain anymore. You are free to go, I will never stop yo...." She covered my mouth with her hand before I could complete the sentence.

"What are you saying Laxman?" She said with a shocked face.

"I was nothing but a pain in the ass, I ruined to your health, our daughters life but you are still here. You can live however you want, and I will never stop you."

"I am here because I love you. I am here because no matter what you are my family. I am mad at at you but I can't bring myself to hate you. And when it comes to Divya's life, I take half the blame, you are not the only one responsible for it." She said holding my hand trying to convince me.

"With Divya, we both failed Laxman. She called me before running away, she asked me to help her get a divorce but I was worried on how you will react. I tried to convince her but our daughter is strong, she didn't give in. She stood up for herself. I called Amaya and told her that you were coming to take Divya away. You should be mad at me, for doing things behind your back." She confessed but I felt proud that at least one of us was there for her.

"No sailaja, you didn't do anything wrong. I bought her back to hell when she was happy with her life there. I lied to her about your health, I guilted her into coming here. I am not a worthy father." I sobbed in my wives arms while she kept rubbing my back soothing me.

"My own daughter hates me, I made her hate me. I deserve to die, Being a father I should've held her when she fell down, I trusted him more than my daughter and he hurt her, he abused my child and I supported him. I am...I am ashamed of myself."

"She was happy there with Amaya and that boy Andrew. She made a good life for herself, the hospital staff told me that our Divya was the best. I went in and ruined it, I am pathetic excuse for a father. What kind of father snatches her daughters happiness? I did..Sailaja. I was blind with my ego and believed an outsider over my daughter.."

I cried over my decisions and but the pain wouldn't go away, the pain I caused my daughter was more than I could ever feel. I have my wife, but my daughter didn't have any shoulder to cry on. I should've been her rock, I should've been the person on her side.

"Let's not fret about the past, now think on how you are going to make it up to her. Let's change now, be the father you always wanted to be. Be a good grandfather for Amar. It's not time to think about the past, you are a good person Laxman. You just lost touch with the human inside you." She consoled me,

"I hate that you think that I am better person than I am. I swear on my life that from today, I will be the best husband, father and grandfather you guys could ever get. Please forgive me for one last time Sailaja." I pleaded and she nodded.

"You don't have to ask Lakshman, Come let's go eat dinner, your mom is waiting and she still has to take her pills to sleep." She said and helped me out of the bed.

I washed my face and cleaned up, thinking about Divya who should've reached by now. I know she is in good hands because Amaya, Andrew and Jameson will never make her cry. I have so many apologies to make, I don't care how long it takes but I will stand by my daughter forever, even if she kills man, I will stand with her to cover it up.

I am sorry Divya, that you had a worthless father till now, but I will prove my worth to you from now on. My first step is put the man who hurt you behind the bars or kill him I have the chance.

"Hello! ACP Sir, this is Lakshman." I called a friend of mine.

"Hi Lakshman sir!" He greeted me back.

"I need you to find Jay Rana Ramesh and put him in Jail. He hurt my daughter and I don't know what you will do, but make him suffer." I informed him controlling my rage.

"Don't worry Lakshman! I will take care of him. If I can't make a case it will make sure he pays what he did to Divya. You take care." He assured me and cut the call.

I walked downstairs, my mom was waiting at the dining table.

"You should've ate Maa, you need to take rest." I told her settling in my chair.

"Sailaja, we can serve ourselves. Sit and join us, it's too late." I told my wife who is putting food on our plates.

"How can I eat after the shame your daughter put us through? She announced to the whole world and flees, what about us...I can't even go to temple without people giving me loo..."

"SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH! One more bad thing about my daughter and I won't care that your my mother." I yelled at her.

I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted to listen to myself for the first time and my guts are screaming in pain at what I did and at my own mothers words.

"You are still trying to tell me that my daughter is wrong, what did she ever do to you? I lost my daughter, my dad, my brother, my sister-in-law. We even kicked out two little girls. I was a monster and I chose not to be that person anymore."

"I am done with your taunts on my wife and daughter. Whatever I do I can't make you happy and I am done making you happy. So, go to your house, I will drop you off tonight." Saying that I shoved the plate away and packed all her bags. I called my sister and updated her on me dropping my mother off.

Sailaja came and tried to stop me, but I am done with this bull shit. With her constantly nagging me, I can't give justice to my wife and daughter.

My mom didn't say a word, she was quiet the whole time and I didn't feel an ounce of remorse for her.

"Come back to my house, when you want to appreciate my wife and daughter. Until then stay with your daughters." I said to her and dropped her off at my sisters house and drove back home.

"Sailaja, let's start your visa process tomorrow. We don't have to live here anymore. I want to talk to my daughter and beg her to forgive me. I wanna make amends with my daughter, Andrew, Amar and everyone there.." I told holding her hand and she gave me the first happy smile in decades.

I promise Sailaja, there will be only happy tears from your eyes. I will wipe away all the pain, I gave you and my daughter.

Phew.... A big loud sigh.

Man that was hard, I hope I did okay here.

Did this chapter make you sympathize with Divya's dad?

I think the story of everyone Indian man, is the choice between his mom and wife.

Do let me know what you think about the chapter?

I got a request to show Divya's dad POV on his reaction.

I never imagined for this request, but thank you for challenging me and making me expand my horizons.

Don't forget to vote and comment.

Love,
Sneha.