Join the facebook group!

Thanks for the support, guys. You rock!

My Wattpad Love

Chapter  18

I was not ready.

I wasn't ready to meet Evan. 

I knew it but there was no point of return now. 

I squeezed my sweaty hands whilst I was forcing my feet to move across Dawson's park. My pulse was erratic; I could feel my heart beats in my ears and throat. A drop of cold sweat rolled down my forehead. I wiped it away quickly. Why was I sweating? It was freaking cold out here. It had probably something to do with the fact that I was awfully nervous. I was having a hard time trying to breathe properly, mostly because I was sick—therefore; my nose was all stuffed up.

I really hoped I wouldn't scare him away. I knew I wasn't hot; I wasn't even pretty so I wouldn't blame him for running away when he sees me. As I approached to the lake, I realized I felt sick. The eagles in my stomach were fluttering around desperately. I needed to calm down if I didn't want to vomit all over the recently pruned grass. It wasn't like I had a lot of food in my stomach anyway. 

The sun was setting down, giving the lake's water a glint of orange. I stopped walking when I reached the edge of the lake. After a few seconds of hesitation, I finally lifted my gaze and scanned around. There were a few couples sitting around the lake. My body froze when my eyes spotted the tall figure of a guy. He was standing right across me at the other side of the lake. 

Evan...

My heart skipped a beat. He was there, Evan was actually there. He was leaning casually against a tree, looking careless. He was wearing dark faded jeans and a black hood. He had his hands inside his jeans' pockets. I swallowed. His deep-black eyes met my blue ones and the world stopped for me. It became hard for me to even breathe. His gaze was so intense; it held so many untold stories and mysteries. I felt like he was seeing right through me; as if his eyes were piercing my soul even when we were a few meters away, even when the lake was between us. My lips formed a nervous smile. He simply stared at me, his handsome facial expression unreadable.

God, I was going to die of a heart attack before I could even talk to him.

Holding my chest, I watched him walk around the lake as he came towards my direction. The closer he came, the faster my heart pumped blood through my veins. 

Breathe, Jules, breathe.

I chanted inside my head. I didn't want to faint before I even got the chance to talk to him. Each step he took towards me was painfully slow. The vanishing sunlight brushed half of his face, making his skin look creamy. I felt like this wasn't real. I couldn't believe I was seeing him. I still remembered his first messages to me on WattPad. I still remembered our first argument. 

His words...

"You're too cute for your good."

"Goodnight, sweet Jules."

"We're miles away, Jules."

I couldn't believe he was just a few meters away from me. He was really tall that I think, he was even taller than Shane. I'd never felt so self-conscious. I was wearing tight jeans (Yes, shocking, I know.) and a simple, blue sleeveless t-shirt. My hair was combed at the sides of my face, getting slightly curly at the ends. This wasn't the usual me, but it felt good to look presentable once in a while. Laura had helped me with this. We fixed things earlier this afternoon and I decided to tell her everything about Evan.

Conclusion: My best friend was the reason I looked slightly good right now. Besides, she was my ride back home after I was done here. She was waiting for me at the parking lot. It was her punishment for believing Melissa's words instead of mine.

Getting back to the situation at hand, I watched breathless how Evan, the mean Dark_Poet001, headed to me. He stopped walking when he was right in front of me. He kept a prudent distance. I swallowed feeling my dry throat. The deep pool of his dark eyes seemed to be devouring me in a slow, but steady process. His midnight black hair was all messy, falling over his forehead and ears. His full lips formed a simple smile; cute dimples appeared on his cheeks. God, he looked so cute.

"Hi," he said breaking the silence. His sexy voice made my knees go weak. He looked extremely intimidating.

I felt like a small mouse in front of a huge tiger. Seeing him in person made me notice the age gap between us. Evan looked more mature than any of the guys I'd met before; but it wasn't like I met many anyway. You could see he had been through a lot. He was an experienced person. But his face still conserved that cute childish features that made him look cute in a manly way.

My mouth was partly opened; I realized I was staring at him. I looked away clearing my throat.

"He-Hey," Great, now I was stuttering. The tension was so thick a needle couldn't have pierced through it. 

"I'm here," he tilted his head to the side.

"Yes, I can see that." I replied nervously. My eyes were glued to the green grass. 

Look up, you idiot! My inner voice yelled at me. 

"Jules?" To hear him say my name sent shivers through my spine. 

"Yes?" I bit my lower lip. God, I needed to look at him but I just couldn't. 

"Are you okay? You look a little pale," there were both concern and amusement lining his voice.

"I'm fine," I said too quickly.

He held my chin forcing me to look up. His touch sent jolts of electricity through me. I met his dark eyes and I could see his smirk now.

"I didn't come here to watch you stare at the grass," he joked and pulled his hand away.

"I wasn't . . ." I trailed off. "So, what's up?" I started rubbing my sweaty hands against my pants. Evan's smirk grew bigger, making the dimples in his cheeks more noticeable. 

"You look like you're going to pass out anytime soon."

"I'm fine," I repeated. 

"Sure.” I knew he didn’t believe me. He knew he made me nervous and that somehow gave him power over me.

Evan smiled at me and sat down on the grass. I stood there and gazed down at him confused. He glanced at me, "Come on, sit down. I don't bite," he touched the spot next to him.

Was he being nice? Slowly, I sat on the spot next to him but still kept some space between us. We stayed like that for a while. We were staring at the sunset in silence. It was so peaceful here. I couldn't believe Evan was sitting right next to me. It was surreal. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. He was focused on the sight in front of him. He was so handsome. I looked away; he didn't need to see me drooling over him. 

"Why did you lie to me?" the question left my mouth before I could stop it. I could feel his eyes on me but I kept my gaze on the orange sun.

"I didn't lie to you," he replied casually.

"You said we were miles away."

"We're miles away, I just didn't specify how many," I looked at him and found him grinning mockingly. 

"Very clever," I admitted smiling at him. 

"I told you I was ridiculously hot and smart." he shrugged his shoulders. His eyes held a glint of an amusement. I was getting more and more comfortable around him. Don’t get me wrong, I was still nervous. I was breathing heavily and sweating like a pig but I was getting used to him. At least, I hadn't passed out. 

"Getting cocky, aren't we?" I cocked an eyebrow at him. 

"Yeah," he didn't even deny it. I narrowed my eyes at him. I knew I should've been mad at him but I just couldn't. He'd been a jerk these past few days but just to have him next to me made me forget everything. Besides, he was being nice now. Was he bipolar or something? "You're truly reckless; you know that, don't you?" 

"Why?" I asked genuinely curious.

"Meeting a stranger in a park isn't the brightest idea,"

"You're not a stranger." 

"I am a stranger for you, Jules," God, my stomach needed to stop doing the back flip thing whenever he said my name.

"You are not a stranger," I repeated each word slowly. "I know you. I know a lot about you."

"How can you possibly know I'm not a bad person? I could be a killer or a rapist, even a thief."

"But you're not."

"How can you know that?"

"I just do. I trust you."

His eyes widened. My words caught him out of guard. He shifted uncomfortably on the ground and rolled his lower lip into his mouth. 

"You're too naive for your own good." he whispered, staring back at the sunset. "You shouldn't trust me." There was sadness in his voice. I felt the urge to hug him. I didn't know where that came from but I felt like he needed me. He needed comfort.

"Evan . . . I . . .” I extended my hand towards his shoulder.

Should I touch him?

Should I tell him I liked him?

One thing was for sure: this meeting had only increased my feelings for him. Having him so close to me made me realize how big what I felt for him was. It sounded so crazy but it didn't matter that we hadn't had actual face-to-face conversations before this one. I felt like I'd known him since forever. Yeah, that was just too cheesy back there, but I'm just being honest. 

My hand reached his shoulder and I felt him stiffen. For a moment, I thought he was going to push my hand away, but he didn't. So, I dared to move my hand forwards and caressed his face gently. He closed his eyes. His skin was so soft, my fingers traced down his cheek to his jaw. But then, his hand grabbed my wrist. 

"Stop," he ordered, turning to me. He was looking right into my eyes. Slowly, he let go of my wrist and pushed my hand away. 

"I was just—"

"Just stop," he said coldly.

I looked down feeling slightly rejected. I heard him sigh.

"I'm sorry." I looked up, surprised. Did he just apologize? "I'm just not used to—never mind, I should probably go now." He got on his feet. I imitated him feeling extremely sad. It wasn’t enough. I needed more. 

"So this is it?" I asked not bothering to hide the sadness in my tone. I had to tilt my head backwards to look at him. We stared into each other's eyes without saying anything. I knew this was it. I had to leave him alone after this, I gave him my word. God, it was going to be so hard. Evan's gaze dropped to my lips and my breath quickened. I bit my lower lip nervously. 

Kiss me . . .

That thought roamed around my mind. His lips looked so inviting, so soft. Evan took a step backwards breaking the moment.

"Remember your promise," his words stung. They burnt my beating heart. 

"I will." I tried to sound as casual as possible. He nodded and then got his hand inside his pocket. He took a folded paper out and gave it to me.

"What's this?" I asked, starting to unfold it. He placed his hand over mine and squeezed it closed around the paper.

"Read it when you get home," he demanded as he let go of my hand. "Bye, Jules," he whispered, getting his hands inside his hood’s pockets. He turned on his feet and started walking away. I was left there in pure confusion and sadness.

Should I go after him and tell him how I feel?

Should I read the paper?

Should I ran to him and kiss him?

Feeling romantic, I decided I would go after him and kiss him. What did I have to lose? 

Your dignity, my inner voice replied. Ignoring it, I was about to start running when I sneezed loudly. 

Oh right, I was sick. I couldn't kiss him like that. He'd probably be disgusted. I mean, who wants someone else's germs? I knew I didn't. What was I thinking? I couldn't just go and press my lips against his. This was the first time we'd seen each other. He'd think I'm crazy or something like that.

Defeated, I turned on my feet and headed towards the parking lot.

The ride home was silent; Laura had bombarded me with questions but I simply told her that I didn't want to talk about it. She seemed to understand because she kept her mouth shut for the rest of the ride. 

**

I walked inside my room and slammed the door closed behind me. Hurriedly, I took off my shoes and jumped on the bed sitting Indian style. I proceed to unfold the paper Evan had given to me. His writing was slightly cursive, I proceed to read. It was a poem:

The Girl and the Shark.

Once upon time, in the middle of the night

A girl and a shark got up to fight.

They are so different yet so much alike,

He is hopelessly doomed,

Whilst she glows and shines.

She walks gracefully in the dark,

Ignoring the constant danger,

Oblivious to the watching Shark.

She dances around bringing joy and smiles

To those pained hearts

She considers worthwhile.

She believes in soul mates,

She believes in love,

But the cruel truth is

She doesn’t have any of those.

The awaiting shark has lost his soul,

He stupidly thinks

She can fill the hole.

That empty hole in his chest,

It swallows everything,

Even his own blood and flesh.

The pain had made him numb,

Turning him into a cold monster,

One that doesn’t deserve love.

Hurtful words have stamped his spirit.

Scars have marked his body,

Salvation is inaccessible to him

He is just a nobody.

The girl and the shark must stay apart,

Because he will not wound

Her precious kind heart

- Evan.

I stared at the paper in shock. I didn’t need to be a genius to know that he was The Shark and I was the girl. At the end of the page, there was a drawing. It was a cute small strawberry; there were a few words written next to it:

“You’re beautiful :)”

X M W L X

A/N: Nothing to say....