I push the small button on the left side of the dark, opaque door. It resembles a black hole at the end of the narrow, brightly lit hallway which looks sterile, like a hospital, because of the shiny, white panels, covering the walls. I would have added some personal touch to this boring design, if the manual didn't say nothing could be changed. Not that it has ever stopped me with Aurora.

   I am dying to see what is hidden behind the thick, armored glass, but it is impossible. This is the only restricted area on board the ship. I have no access because it belongs to Adam. The tiny chamber, not bigger than three square feet, is holding their console and all the secrets they protect. I long to sneak in, to see what they look like before I shape them into a human, to touch their electronic heart, if they have one. I wouldn't do it, of course. Adam won't allow it. The rules are strict. The consequences are severe, or at least that is what Brandon implied in the detailed instructions. It can damage the intricate mechanisms irreversibly. I would never risk losing my Universal Companion out of unhealthy curiosity. Maybe, one day, when I gain their trust, they will let me in willingly, or even better, decide to stay here with me and stop disappearing in the rabbit hole every morning.

   A short beep announces my presence. The greeting comes in a second.

   "Hello, First Rank Commander Haru! Welcome back home! How was your day?"

   "I hate this voice," I frown. "Don't talk to me like a computer."

   "I apologize!" is the instant, polite respond, too indifferent for my taste. "I have no other at the moment."

   It drives me nuts when Adam is trying not to be Adam. I know this is all staged. It kind of hurts my feelings. There is something extraordinary and beautiful between us. It can't be fake. Either I've spent too much time alone in outer space and it has already affected my brain, or this conversation is a total bullshit.

   "Yes, you have," I grumble. "You have three hundred million options."

   "I can pronounce 300,475,251 sound combinations. Please, follow the protocol to choose identity." The even tone shows no emotion whatsoever.

   I am getting more and more agitated. Honestly, I'll punch them when the fucking door finally opens. We've been doing this same absurd exchange every single evening for the last month and I am tired of hearing exactly the same crap. Maybe, I am a little obsessed, but I can't give up now.

   Two months I only studied the functionalities, tried different identities, had an entirely scientific approach to the new technology and then it happened. I met Adam. It's true that I chose his looks, his gender and the language we spoke, but that was all. I saw a personality, not just a combination of computer codes. I wouldn't be able to create such a complex character, even if I wanted to. I need to find out if this is him. Would he be a man, cheeky, somewhat commanding, with a great sense of humor and so fond of me, if he had complete freedom of choice? I am desperate for answers. There is a problem, though. Adam is determined to prove me wrong and persistently insists on being a machine. We've turned it into a competition to see who is more stubborn.

   It was a week ago when I got the upper hand. I noticed an almost imperceptible change of intonation while I was refusing to follow the manual. It immediately grabbed my attention. There was something in their voice which sounded like annoyance. Adam was vexed. I managed to get on their nerves. It's my personal mission now to do it again. Computers do not get angry. That would be my proof.

   "Why do I have to choose identity every time?" I sweetly ask. "Just come out."

   "If you do not want to choose an identity every day, you can execute the protocol for establishing a permanent one or replicate the latest model." Standard instruction. No emotion. 

    "How come you don't get tired of repeating this over and over again?" I roll my eyes. "You choose."

   "Not accepted."

   "Just once?" I sigh deeply and try to look as exhausted and miserable as possible. I would shed a tear if I could. Adam is compassionate. It's a pity I'm not a better actor. "I am so tired, baby. I really am. This will take an hour at least. I can barely stand on my feet. There was a black capsule, you know. Aurora had to perform emergency extraction. Do you think it's pleasant to have your ass rubbed against a metal surface at three hundred kilometers per hour?"

   "I am sorry to hear that, First Rank Commander Haru. To save time, I recommend replicating the last..."

   "Stop 'first-rank-commander'-ing me," I growl. "For God's sake! Is it so difficult to admit that no matter what I choose, it will still be you in the end. Do you at least approve of my choices?"

   "Invalid question. I apologize. No answer available."

   "Don't you have any preferences?" I insist.

   "Invalid question. I apologize. No answer available."

   "Adam, why? Why are you so obstinate?" I almost shout.

   "Invalid question. I apologize. No answer available."

   "So while you're stuck in there, you refuse to be the person I know. Very good! I don't want to see you then." I reveal my last trump card. My heart is racing. Will they give up on me?

   "I apologize for not meeting your expectations, First Rank Commander Haru. A report will be immediately sent to the manufacturer to be used for future improvements. Good night!"

   Fuck! That hurts. Obviously, I am not important enough to make a change.

   "Come back, idiot," I yell. "You won't be sending any reports."

   "Thank you for your trust, First Rank Commander Haru," the electronic voice instantly returns. "Please, follow the protocol to choose identity."

   "Fine," I finally give up. "I'm sorry for calling you an idiot."

   "It is quite alright, First Rank Commander Haru. Identity selection protocol nine three is open. Please, press the communication button to confirm each choice."

   "Execute," I sigh in defeat. The procedure is long and tiresome, especially after an exhausting day of attending to the ship and the cargo and an alien stalker to top it all. I can't believe we are doing this for the ninety-third time. It also feels wrong. I don't have the right to determine the form in which they should exist.

   "Nine three, section one: Biological sex – male, female, intersex. Please, choose."

   "Male," I pronounce clearly and press the blinking green button with a bitter taste in my mouth.

   "Nine three, section two: Gender spectrum – cisgender, binary, nonbinary, fluid, neutral. Some options require percentage. Please, choose."

   "Damn it!" I sit cross-legged on the floor and start rubbing my face in frustration. "I don't want to choose. What do YOU want? What are you?"

   "The selection is not clear. Please, repeat. Only the given options are accepted."

   "Of course, it is clear. What is it that you don't understand? Stop pretending," I scream. "You want to convince me you're just a machine, but you're not and we both know it. Shitty protocols! I am asking you to be yourself.  I am asking you to be Adam because I... Do you even like me?"

   "First Rank Commander Haru, your anxiety levels are above the norm. I recommend a therapy session and three days medical leave. Please, confirm."

   "No!" I jump to my feet and take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves. "Not gonna happen. Proceed."

   "I recommend switching to permanent identity protocol. Temporary models rise your stress levels."

   "Negative," I shake my head. "I said, proceed! I confirm cisgender for section two."

   I hit spitefully the blinking green light and heavily lean on the wall. This will go on for about thirty minutes if I'm quick, but If I don't stop arguing, we might stay here the whole night. It's hard. Every question makes my blood boil.

   "Nine three, section three: Sexuality – allo, andro, aro, ase, auto, bi, demi, gay, mono, multi, pan, omni. Some options require additional particularization from a scale. Please, choose."

   "Omnisexual," I growl.

   "Nine three, section four: Appearance. Please, use the keyboard to specify the numbers, corresponding to the selected options from the provided catalogue for the following features in the same order: skin-color, eye color, hair color, hair length, hair type, body type, height, weight, voice type, vocal range, fashion preferences. Any other requirements should be submitted in plain text."

   I roll my eyes again and press one of the wall panels which silently slides open, forming a desk with a monitor and a keyboard. The lists of possible options are endless. I have never looked through them all. It is a real pain in the ass. The curious thing about them, though, is that they contain everything possible about the looks, but absolutely nothing about the character traits. That was the first thing that led me to the suspicion that not all depends on me. 

   Adam is an amazing person. Their individuality came with a certain combination of male physical traits and I keep repeating it with obsessive precision. However, I would prefer to be sure that this is his choice too. I guess, I'll have to wait another day.

   "Why can't you just come out?" I squint at the glass barrier between us.

   "The selection is not clear. Please, use the keyboard to submit..."

   "Ugh, shut it!" I huff and start typing the codes. "Whatever floats your boat, Adam. But I'm telling you, this is the last time. I am not choosing any options tomorrow. I'll just charge a laser beam and blow that stupid door open."

   "Pfft, I'm so scared."

   The words are spoken so quietly that I am not sure if I have heard anything at all at first, but the next second goosebumps raise all over my skin. I turn abruptly and gaze at the glass. You're busted! That wasn't by the protocol and we haven't even finished the identity selection yet. This time I managed to tick you off so much that you couldn't hold it back.

   "All done," I smirk and press the green button again, full of enthusiasm.

   "Nine three, section five: Role play – none or specific. The second option requires additional particularization in text form. Please, choose."

   "None," I mutter. "I'm just impatient to see you, babes."

   "Protocol completed."

   The green light finally goes out. The door soundlessly slides to the side, opening a gap, just enough for Adam to step out. He is grinning from ear to ear.

   "Hello, Sunshine," I pout. "Are you happy with yourself? You pissed me off. I don't see why you are so cheerful. Get ready for my revenge."

   His loud, hearty laughter makes my cheeks flush. He pulls me by the hand and plasters a kiss on my mouth. "I missed you too, Haru."

   "What happened to 'Fist Rank Commander this', 'First Rank Commander that'?" I grumble. "Why are you all dressed up? Are you taking me on a date?"

   His dark brown eyes are focused on my face. His smile widens. "Of course, I am. Are you hungry? You didn't eat the sandwiches I made for you, did you? You know you shouldn't skip lunch. Come on. I have a splendid idea. I'll cook the best Italian pasta. I'm starving too."

   "I heard what you said." I look him in the eye. "It wasn't by protocol."

   "I have no idea what you're talking about," he shrugs. "How about a bubble bath before dinner?"

________________________________

A/N

Hello at the end of Chapter 3.

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