🐞MTOABB🐞

I didn't need a pill to make me lose control, it was the thought of him alone that got the job done.

I'm outside _Gomes

At this time _Rossita

Why was he outside? He remembers now that I exist after a whole week of no communication - let me laugh. Annoyance couldn't begin to explain my emotions.

Come outside, even if it's just for a minute. I sort of miss your face _Gomes

Have you met my mother? I can't _Rossita

That was the first excuse to many - he can't possibly be the reason I am hurt this much, I'm too young for that. But... I can't think of anyone that makes me feel important one second and not the next. I have so many questions for him, but somehow I don't know how to ask them and yet they sit at the back of my mind, haunting me.

So you want me to leave? _Gomes

Yes _Rossita

He doesn't respond and I have the urge to climb out of bed and peak through the curtains to see if he was still there and what if he was? What do I want to do with that information?

I don't think being with Zack gave me so much hardship.

A minute passes and I switch my phone in anger - that's how it goes and sometimes I wish he wasn't like all boys.

Most boys stop trying and he has proven how well he blends with the crowd.

The doorbell rings and I quickly jump out of bed - goosebumps spread through my body as I realise how much shit I was going to be in if my mother opens the door.

I quickly tiptoe down the stairs and open the door in a frantic motion.

It wasn't him and my masked anger quickly dissolved into an abrupt sadness and disappointment.

"Hi dad?" I say confused as to why he was still in town.

"Hi my darling." He steps forward to kiss my forehead. "Is your mom home?" He asks and I nod affirmatively.

I take a step outside and glance to my right and left to see if he was still there outside waiting for me, but nothing.

Fuck you, Prinse Gomes!

"Why are you still up this late, do you not have school tomorrow?" My mother asks as she comes down the stairs wrapping her nightgown.

"I do, I am going back to bed now," I tell her as I walk past her. "Goodnight dad," I turn my head back to say.

I got in my room and quickly closed my door before running to grab my phone on the messed up bed.

"You're kidding me right?" I say immediately after he answers the call.

He chuckles. "You confuse me most days."

"So that's why you weren't around for a whole week?"

"What do you want me to say? You want the lie or the truth?" He questions.

"Feed me the lie since I'm not worth the truth."

"I have never been with a girl this complicated," he mumbles and he was talking more to himself, but I heard him either way.

"Is that your way of wanting to break up with me?" I ask him. I didn't know I was holding in my breath until my chest deflated, filling up the room.

"When did I say that?"

"Well you're not saying no."

"And I'm not saying yes either." He says more firmly.

"You're just waiting to sleep with me so you can leave," I whisper yell.

He stayed quiet, but his breathing let me know that he was still very much on the other side of the line.

"Gomes..." I trail.

"Rossita." He sighs. "I have yet to gesture to wanting to have sex with you, so I don't know where this is coming from."

"But what if I left you a bait, would you bite?" I ask.

"Would you want me to bite?" He counters with his own question.

"After what your sister told me, I'm not sure."

"Jordan? What did she say?" He shifts on the other end. "Look, don't tell me, but let me tell you this from my mouth alone. If you wanted to have sex wth me, I wouldn't say no, because I know I want it just as much."

"But you did already turn me down," I remind him.

"How did I know you were going to mention that." He lets out a chortle.

"Am I your girlfriend, Gomes?" I ask suddenly. "Wait, don't answer that. I'm not ready to hear your answer." I nervously snicker.

"Okay," he whispers.

Ugh, you could have answered either way. My mind and mouth are not friends, we've established this right from the beginning.

"I really want to see you," he groans.

"Mr. Miller gave us an assignment for this week," I say, ignoring his statement.

"I know," he says.

How would he know, I didn't mention it?

"From who?" I question.

"Katelyn mentioned it to me," he says nonchalantly as if that was something that wouldn't bother me.

"How did she get a hold of you when you weren't responding to any of my texts?" Now my voice was rising above normal.

"Calm down, I don't like her."

"I didn't ask if you liked her, Gomes."

"Well your voice is insinuating it."

"Tell me why you answered her texts and not mine."

'

He stays quiet. "I want an answer, Gomes."

"Because she wasn't biting my head off in every text message," he admits.

I snicker. "But yet here you are, talking to me unashamed."

"I should be ashamed of what?" He asks, now annoyed.

"Don't you dare get annoyed at me," I tell him.

"Right, because you're the saint and you're never wrong." He drags every word like he didn't have a care in the world. "Rossita, seriously, get off your high horse." And with that I end the call. My hands shaking from the level of emotions left in a bundle of knots in my stomach.

I am so sorry. I haven't had the best day, and you haven't made it any easier. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. Rossita, I... I'm only human _Gomes

I leave the message to swirl in the air as I debate as to whether or not I am going to reply - but in the end, I didn't, because I realised that I missed him more than he missed me. I needed him more than he needed me and I hate that I am admitting this, but someone needs to be honest with me.

Even when I am mad at him, I still wish that one day I can take his hand and put it up against my chest so he can feel for himself how he makes my heart beat faster.