So today was a black day schedule for me. Yay. That means I got trig, cp, English, then band.

I actually dressed up a little today because the past three days I've been scrubbing hard core so bad. I curled my hair, put on a little more makeup and wore my favorite nice white shirt and scarf. I was just on point today. Lol.

Yup, today in the morning I went to the cafeteria as usual to visit with all my guy friends.

And again, making eye contact with Ben. Awkward. Like, I swear 4/5 times during the week that happens and it's just like wtf. Da fuq.

In English we had another seminar. Ew.

The difference was that the two circles were separate, so two seminars went on at the exact same time. It wasn't as awkward really.

Well, if I hadn't been sere where I was.

The person sitting to my left was Gav. Remember him? Yeah, we don't really talk cause I don't really like him. Avoid negative people at all costs 😂 we haven't talked in a while, but who cares.

The person sitting on my left was freakin' BEN.

I nearly wanted to die but was extremely happy at the same time.

So after class starts, the three of us are sitting right under where the projector screen shows, so we all had to turn 180 degrees to read the board. Ugh. We answer some dumb question on our paper, and afterwards when we're turning in our essay (haha the one I procrastinated on till last night) the class starts chatting as usual.

Sucks for me cause my seminar group was basically some semi-popular guys that are mostly all chill with each other. So Ben and Gav start talking, and after a few seconds I lean back as far as I can in my seat so I wouldn't be in their business. Just wanted to be nice, and I didn't wanna feel awkward to be honest.

So Ben says this "Hey, am I interrupting you or something?" In a jokingly manner, so I look up an was like "N-no, you're good."

Then Gav takes out one of those Chobani Greek flip yogurts, and I don't like them. They're so gross 😷 like, even the smell of those kinds of flip yogurts make my tummy feel like CRAP. So I made a nasty face at Gav while him and Ben were like "Those are dope!" And "Yeah, this is the best."

I guess Ben looked at my face when I made a slightly grossed out expression on my face, cause he was like "What's wrong?" And I was like "Those don't taste good." So he was like "OHHH dang, she's a hater! She's hatin'!" In a teasingly manner, and I could just feel my cheeks heating up SO MUCH. I got so quiet and said "No, I'm not hating I just don't like em." He just cracked up a little bit.

Like, stop cracking up. Can you not?

So a few minutes later our seminars start, and y'all know that I have really high anxiety in class, especially seminars. Like, I haven't said a word in the past 6 seminars. You get graded on participation, but I talked to my teacher about it and it's fine if I don't talk, I just have to write about what the seminar was about. I'd rather do that.

So after maybe seven minutes, Ben finishes his opinion on whatever the thing was that we had to read, which was some stupid short story. He looked at me and was like "Hey do you have a question?" And I literally froze up SO BADLY. I almost want to CRY when someone puts me in the spotlight like that, it's TERRIFYING. I instantly shook my head and was like "No, I'm good." In a super quiet voice and just shrunk in my seat, like A LOT. I could see all the guys just looking at me for a second and I literally wanted to run out. I slouched in my seat cause I honestly didn't know how to deal with it.

I wish that I wasn't a scaredy cat, like most people would be totally fine. I'm already pressured enough by having to sit right next to him.

So later in the middle of the seminar, he said kind of in a kind-ish but a little bit concerned voice "Do you have anything to say?" And I did the same thing again and was like "No thank you." So he kinda mumbled "I'm tryna help you.." And I just said "Stop." In a quiet voice.

Literally. I kinda feel bad. I mean, I just whispered it but I feel bad cause he just wanted to help, but he doesn't know about my anxiety.

So right before the seminar ends, he genuinely asked me "Are you sure you don't wanna say anything?" Then I shook my head and said "I'm good, thanks."

Don't you feel bad when someone's trying to help, but it just makes you feel worse?

Btw, him and someone kept dabbing. Like, he was doing that in theology after we had all finished our tests, but we still had to stay silent. He's a funny guy, but I felt bad that I kept saying "No thank you."

After the seminars are done, our teacher hands out a self-grading seminar sheet, and a couple were like "participating" and another one said "encouraging others to participate."

Are you KIDDING me?! That's the first time he's ever given us a grading sheet like that, and of course it had to be today. The scale was from 4-10, ten being full credit on each statement.

So Ben looks over and teases me like "Gettin' a ten on participation, gettin' a ten on encouraging someone to participate!" And cracks up a bit as I side-glance at him, then I just flipped the birdie at him. He pretended to be shocked a little, then looked back at our teacher to make sure he wasn't looking XD. So I start finishing my own grading sheet when he's cracking up saying "Damn, someone's salty now! She's mad at me now!" I was trying to keep a grumpy expression on my face when he said it a couple times, but it turned into one of those smiles like 'I can't keep frowning anymore cause I might start laughing out loud'

Then our teacher tells us to make five rows with the desks, so I'm like "Oh thank the Lord."

Like, I rarely see him talk to any girls, but he never teases them like that? I'd know that cause...uh...he usually hangs out with guys. Ugh. I don't even care anymore if he knows.

Actually I do. I'd probably never go back to school or something like that.

Anyways, that was an eventful class period my gawd. I couldn't stop freaking smiling the rest of school, even throughout band.

So after school I'm still smiling like a goofball, and a few of my friends were like "Why are you so happy?" So I'm like "Oh, nothing!" Then they all just say "It's NGHB/Ben, isn't it?" And I just nod my head.

Of course, Andre was just like "What, did you say hi and he said hi back? That's something you'd obsess over for days."

Um, going to conclusion too fast? I didn't even tell you what happened, chill.

I just said "No, besides he was always the one who started talking." And I didn't tell him anything else cause he's just salty AF.

I didn't tell anyone else this besides my friend Kailee, Guillermo, and James. James always tells me "don't give up on NGHB!" He's the best 😂 everyday inspiration.

If I told my best friend this, she'd flip out. I'll just tell her this weekend about my whole week.

Hey, since he was sitting next to me, I checked his notecard and he still has that krabby patty cheeseburger I drew on it 😂

Okay, I'm positive he doesn't have a wattpad account, so if y'all wanna see a pic of him I'll post one cause who cares 😂 I don't have one on my phone but my best friend sometimes send me pics of him from Instagram to flipping tease me. That's what best friends do I guess.

Idk why the pics blurry but whatever.

You guys can guess who's Will and who's Ben, and it's a pic from like a month ago so he looks a little different cause his hair's a bit longer in this pic. It's from prom, but it's definitely still cute.

Oh my gosh it's already been practically a MONTH since prom. WTF?! That's crazy how time flies.

I bet y'all could point out the ugly one and the hot one, the one I literally hate cause he's just annoying and the guy I actually like. FYI, Will was one if the guys in the same seminar group as Gav, Ben and I, so yeah. I just don't like him, he's cocky and full of crap. Comment who you think it is. If you get it wrong it's okay, I will take absolutely no offense whatsoever so you're all good :D

Not that many people read my rant book anyways so I think I'll be safe with you guys 😂 shoutout to all those of you who read this and comment cause it makes me feel more sociable without feeling stressed. Y'all are awesome, and I just really wanted to say thank you, it honestly means a lot.

Hey guys, this number (435)-535-1727 texted me saying "hey its asia" and "You should secretly throw me the 10 so I can have my cousin take me to get smokes and lighter" so I replied with "Hey it's America and I'm broke AF."

Y'all should prank call this number cause whoever this is, they're dumb cause the don't even know who they're messing with. He's already been pranked once from my classmate John after I told him about it yesterday. Spam him. I don't care. Obviously someone doesn't know their English anyways. They forgot the ' in it's and it annoys the crap outta me, also forgetting to capitalize Asia and forgetting the word "the" before lighter. Ugh, it's disgusting.