I never knew Thomas could look so cold. Although his face was a blank slate, his eyes burned through me in a way that seared me to my core. It was painful.

Still, I'm sure whatever pain I was feeling at that moment was only about half of what Thomas was feeling. I understood his hateful stare completely. Twenty years. Twenty years doing everything he could to protect Mr. Weston, all of Mr. Weston, from the truth, only to find out through some offhand comment that it was all for nothing. Yes, I understood completely why he looked at me so spitefully.

There was only one problem. He didn't know the full story.

"Ms. Walton," he repeated, his voice a shade harsher than it had been a minute ago, "I'm trying my very best to be civil about all this, but I'm afraid that, given the circumstances, my patience is very thin at this time. So please, tell me, exactly what did you mean when you said Victor 'found out the truth.' Did you tell him something about his condition?"

Thomas was right. He was being civil right now because when I looked into his eyes, all I saw was murder. Instinctively, it brought a lump to my throat, but I did my best to swallow it down. I took a deep breath to calm myself. There was no need to be nervous right now. For once, this problem had absolutely nothing to do with me. And I wanted to make sure Thomas knew that too.

"Thomas... I didn't have to tell Victor anything. He already knew."

That seemed to help calm him down a bit. Well, maybe not "calm down," but it definitely shocked him out of whatever near-murderous rage he'd been in a second ago. His eyes went wide and his mouth hung open slightly. He didn't seem to know how to respond.

After a minute, he blinked a couple times and cleared his throat. He shook his head slightly as if to shake away the last of his shock.

"Umm... What exactly do you mean by 'he already knew'?"

I gave him a weak smile. "Exactly what I said. He already knew. He's known for years. Long before I ever came here."

Thomas's head slowly lowered until he was staring at the table. His eyes were wide, mouth agape. He shook his head slowly as if in complete and utter disbelief. Even when words did finally leave his mouth, it was more like he was talking to himself than he was to me.

"No, I... No. That's impossible. I never told him a thing. I-I don't even think a single word about it ever left my lips while I was under this roof. I... No. He couldn't know. How could he possibly know?"

"I don't know if this will help at all, but he only found out by accident. Sheer dumb luck. If you can really call it 'luck,' I guess."

I was hoping the little joke might help to lighten the mood a bit, but it didn't. Based on his face at that moment, I wasn't even sure if he'd heard me at all. I sighed in defeat. It was clear that there would be no way to sugar-coat any of this. It would be better to just tell him what I knew.

"He found the book," I said simply.

Thomas's body tensed slightly as I said this. It wasn't much, but enough for me to know that he had heard me at least. I cleared my throat before continuing.

"Now, I don't have all the details, of course, since I wasn't there, but Victor's told me about it before. Apparently, you guys had a fight one night and he was too annoyed to sleep, so he started wandering around the mansion. I guess you left the book out that night. He put two-and-two together from there."

Thomas didn't say a word. He kept staring down at the table with the same look of disbelief.

Up until this point, Laura had been doing her best to keep out of this little disagreement. It was clear she'd wanted to say something to Thomas several times throughout, but each time she bit her tongue and sat back nervously, watching how it all played out. However, even she drew the line when it came to seeing Thomas this way. She reached out and placed her hand on his arm.

"Tom? Are you alright?"

Thomas barely reacted to her voice, but somewhere in his subconscious told him he needed to do something to respond to her. Slowly, he shook his head, still staring down at the table. Poor Laura, I could see it broke her heart to see him that way.

The sound of the ticking clock filled the silent room. None of us seemed to know what to say. Thomas looked like he had a million thoughts swimming around in his head at that moment, and Laura and I were at a loss for what to say to comfort him. If that was even possible at this point in time.

However, after what felt like an eternity, some shade of life seemed to return to Thomas's eyes. He opened and closed his mouth a few times. I could hear a faint swallowing sound as if he was trying to clear his throat. Finally, a few small words barely managed to whisper their way past his lips.

"Is... is that why he hates me so much?"

"What?"

I was too caught off guard by the question to even think of saying something comforting. Thomas reached up a trembling hand to rub his cheek. He didn't look lost anymore. He just looked terrified.

"I-I mean, Victor and I have never really been on the best terms, but there at least used to be some civility between us. These last few years though... All this time, I'd assumed that he was just acting out. Being troublesome just to be troublesome. But... was it really this?"

I sighed. "I won't lie to you and say that that had nothing to do with it. You and I both know how childish Victor can be, regardless of whatever the situation is, but... he did have some trouble accepting things in the beginning."

Thomas took a shaky breath and nodded his head. "Of course he did. Of course he did. How could he not? All this time, I'd been treating him like an immature child. When really... it was all my fault."

"What?"

"God, how could I never have known?" He said, burying his face in his hands. "Twenty years I lived with that boy. I raised him. How could I have been so blind? How could I not have seen that, all this time, he'd been struggling and suffering alone?

I left him on his own to handle something no child- No, not even a man should have to deal with on his own. I left him when he needed me most. I... I abandoned him... Just like everyone else... It's no wonder he's hated me all these years... "

I could barely make sense of what I was hearing. I mean, I'm sure finding out about Victor had to be shocking for Thomas, but I never expected this to be the first place his mind went. Victor hating him? Is that what he really thought? Although, looking back on the little I knew about Thomas and Victor's history, I guess I could see why.

Thomas was still sitting with his face in his hands. Poor Laura looked at him helplessly, unsure of what she could do. Honestly, I wasn't really sure what to do either. But there was one thing I needed him to know.

"Thomas... Victor doesn't hate you."

A heavy sigh came from somewhere behind his hands. His body seemed to deflate as his arms slowly folded on the table. He leaned down to rest his head against them.

"Please, don't pity me, Ms. Walton. I know your heart is in the right place, but hearing such kind lies will only make me feel that much more pathetic."

"It's not a lie," I insisted sternly. "Look, I know you and Victor have had your issues over the years, and this whole 'finding out the truth' thing certainly didn't help with that, but Victor has never, and I mean never, hated you. Not then, not now, not any time."

"Anna, please. You saw the two of us when we were together. The arguments, the silences-"

"The drinking and laughing together the night before you left," I interrupted pointedly.

Thomas made a face at this. "That... was an incredibly rare occurrence between the two of us."

"But he didn't want it to be. In case you've forgotten, Thomas, he was the one who invited you to come and do it again sometime," I reminded him. "Why would he bother to invite you back if he really didn't want you here?"

"Well-"

"And speaking of not wanting you here, if Victor really, truly did hate you and wanted you gone forever, then why didn't he ever get rid of you?

You said it yourself, twenty years taking care of him. And it wasn't like he was a child that entire time either. Why not just fire you if he really hated you so much?"

Thomas gave a dry laugh. "Oh, he tried before. A few times, in fact. It never stuck though. I always told him we made up during his 'memory lapses' and he let it go."

"Huh. Interesting. I wonder why. Especially since he knew you were lying to him."

All at once, his face went blank. Even I was caught off guard by how sudden it happened. It was like someone had flipped a switch inside of him and shut him off completely.

He stared straight ahead without looking at anything. Thank god he was still blinking or I would have worried that he was dead. Again, even Laura seemed at a complete loss for what to do now.

I could only imagine what must have been going through his head at that moment. He must have been reliving every moment he'd ever spent with Victor. Well, every moment within the last few years at least. Every argument, every act of rebellion, every excuse that he ever made to him. And realizing that, all that time, Victor already knew the truth.

Thomas never fooled him for a second. Victor knew exactly what those little "memory lapses" were, he knew that he and Thomas never actually made up, he knew it was all a lie. Right from the very start.

But he let Thomas lie to him anyway. Pretended not to know a thing and let go of whatever stupid thing they'd been arguing about before. And not just once. He did it again and again. For years. And Thomas just didn't seem to know how to deal with that information.

Thomas's eyes started to gloss over with tears, but it wasn't until they finally started to spill over that he actually broke down. As the first few tears slid down his cheeks his face contorted into an expression of pure agony. He lifted his hand up to cover his mouth, but that didn't help to stop the deep sob that suddenly slipped through.

The muffled sobs shook his body violently. His chest rose and fell heavily as if desperate for some sort of air. The tears flowed from his eyes like a faucet. I'd never seen Thomas look so fragile before. And apparently, neither had Laura.

Like a dutiful wife she rushed to his aid. She rubbed her hand along his back gently while the other rested on his arm. She spoke to him in a low, soothing voice.

"Oh, Tom. It's okay. It's okay, really."

She continued to murmur sweet reassurances to him, but it wasn't clear how much he really understood them. He just shook his head slowly as the sobs continued to shake his body.

"Why?" He finally managed to sob out. "Why would he do that?"

I gave him a weak smile. "According to him? He didn't want you treating him differently just because he knew the truth. If you were going to treat him differently, he wanted it to be because you saw him differently. He wanted you to see him as Victor. Not some symptom."

The pain on Thomas's face was almost tangible. Again, he shook his head as if it were all he could do.

"I did. Of course I did. Of course I saw him as Victor. How could I not? There isn't anyone else like him in the world." Thomas gave a small, choked laugh. "Sure, there was a time in his younger years when I thought that, but that was long ago, when this thing was still new to the both of us.

But now? Never. Of course Victor is Victor. Sure, we may not have had the most compatible of personalities, but that never meant I saw him as less of Mr. Weston. As troublesome as he was, I loved him. I loved him just as much as I did any of them. Jack, Arthur, Henry. Even Samuel.

God, have you met Samuel yet?"

I couldn't help but smile at this. "Unfortunately."

"Then you know better than anyone that Victor is, by no means, the worst in the bunch. Difficult? Sure. Stubborn? Absolutely. The reason so much of my hair has fallen out over the years? Without a doubt. But... none of that ever meant that I didn't love him..."

Thomas paused a moment. The pain didn't necessarily disappear from his face, but instead almost seemed to morph from agony and confusion to a kind of somber understanding. He sighed heavily and buried his face in his hands again. After a moment he moved them away. He gazed sullenly down at the table.

"But... I guess I never really told him that either," he mumbled finally.

"Thomas, I'm sure he-"

"Please," he interrupted, holding up his hand to stop me, "don't try to justify my actions here, Ms. Walton. I've spent enough of my life doing that myself.

The restrictions I put on him, the lies I told him, every action I ever made up until my retirement. I could justify them all. At least to myself, if no one else. I could say that it was the way things had to be. That I was doing it all for him. To protect him. But... I'm afraid I can't do that here.

There was never a reason that I couldn't have told him that I cared for him. There was never a way in which doing so would have caused him some kind of harm. If anything, it might have even saved him some of the pain I'm sure he felt.

I failed him. As a caretaker, as a guardian, but most of all, as a friend. There is no justification for my actions here. The simple truth is that I was wrong. The way I treated him was wrong. And I don't even know where to begin to start to make things right..."

I didn't know what to say. Hell, there was nothing really to say. Thomas said it himself: he didn't want someone to try to justify his actions. All he wanted was to try to make right the things he believed he'd done wrong. And I couldn't help him with that.

However, our somber little moment was suddenly interrupted by the kitchen door. No words were said, but immediately all of us seemed to know what to do. Thomas quickly hid his face in his hands, Laura started digging around in her purse as if she were looking for something, and I sprang to my feet and plastered on a smile for Henry.

"Is everything alright, Sir?" I asked.

Luckily, it looked like he didn't catch what had been going on a second ago. He smiled like normal as he approached.

"Yes, everything's fine. I just had a question for Laura," he explained. "I was going to use the intercom, but I thought I heard voices out here and figured I'd check first. Honestly, I'm surprised you're all still here."

"Oh, we just got caught up talking," I said quickly. "Umm, you said you had a question, Sir?"

"Ah! Right. Laura, do you have any allergies?" He asked, turning towards her. "I was in the middle of cooking when I realized it completely slipped my mind to ask you."

"Just penicillin."

She forced a chuckle, but it seemed to do the trick. Henry smiled and let out a small chuckle of his own.

"Well, in that case we should be fine. The roquefort might have some mold on it, but I can promise you the bread does not." It was at that moment that he suddenly seemed to notice Thomas. The smile faded from his face as he looked at him. "Thomas, is everything alright?"

"Ah, yes, Sir. Just a small headache. That's all."

Laura jumped on to Thomas's lie quickly. "Yes, I-I was looking for something for him in my purse, but it looks like I don't have anything."

"I was actually just about to suggest going out for some fresh air before you came out, Sir," I chimed in.

I wasn't sure how convincing our little lie really was, but apparently it was convincing enough for Henry. He nodded slowly. The concern didn't leave his eyes, but it did look like it softened a bit.

"Well, if it gets too bad, please let Ms. Walton know. I'm sure we must have some kind of medication for that around here."

"I will, Sir. Thank you. But I really think some fresh air is all I need," Thomas answered.

Henry shrugged. "As long as you're sure. Ms. Walton, again, I'll leave them in your care. I'll call you later for lunch."

Henry smiled and gave a small nod to Laura before heading back to the kitchen. All three of us practically collapsed the moment the door shut behind him. Thomas rubbed the last of the tears from his cheeks and shook his head.

"God, that was close."

"Maybe we really should go outside," I suggested. "It will give us some more privacy."

Thomas nodded and stood without a word. He gestured vaguely for me to lead the way. As I walked around the table Laura stood and clung on to Thomas's arm. She rubbed it gently, her concern for him still obvious in her eyes.

As I opened the doors to the garden, a crisp breeze quickly greeted me. It had warmed up a little bit since Thomas and Laura had first arrived, but I wouldn't exactly call it "warm" now either. Still, no one complained as I led them outside.

Although the goal of going out there was to get some more privacy, I didn't want to wander too far from the house either. I had no way of knowing when Henry would be done with lunch, and the last thing I wanted was for him to come looking for us and possibly overhear something he shouldn't.

I decided the benches near the roses would be best. Aside from giving me a clear eye line into the dining room, it was close enough that I'd be able to hear the intercom if Henry called. However, it wasn't close enough for me to be able to distinguish anything  that he might actually say. Which meant Henry shouldn't be able to hear us clearly either, even if he did come outside for some reason.

I led Thomas and Laura over and gestured for them to sit. Thomas certainly looked like he needed it. It hadn't been a long walk, but the poor thing already looked exhausted. Based on the way he rubbed his temples, I wasn't so sure his "headache" was a lie anymore.

"Thank you, Ms. Walton," he mumbled, sitting.

I shook my head. "You don't need to thank me for that, Thomas."

"No, I should. And... I suppose I should also apologize for the way I treated you a moment ago.

I'm sorry for lashing out at you like that. Especially since it seems the whole incident was my fault to begin with." He paused a second before shaking his head. "No, I shouldn't even say that. Whether you were the one to tell Victor the truth or not, it wasn't my place to behave that way. You're his caretaker now, and the way in which you care for him is entirely up to your discretion. I already know myself that you would never intentionally do something to hurt Mr. Weston, which means you would have only ever done something like that if you felt it was for his benefit. I had no right to treat you with such hostility, and I deeply apologize for that."

I shook my head. "You don't owe me any apology. For anything. Caretaker-schmaretaker. I know how much you care about him Thomas. Of course you'd be upset suddenly hearing something like that. Anyone would."

He smiled at this. "Maybe, but... I know how much you care about him too. You're... so much more than just a caretaker to him, Ms. Walton. And I never should have doubted those feelings."

I already knew Thomas approved of relationships with Mr. Weston. I'd known that for a long time now. Still, as he said those words to me, I felt my chest tighten.

While I could honestly say that I was perfectly happy in my relationship with Mr. Weston, I couldn't deny that I sometimes felt a little lonely not having anyone to talk to about it. And not just for the bad things. For the good things too.

Maybe it was stupid, and maybe it was selfish, but I wanted to be the girlfriend who could gush about her boyfriend. I wanted someone I could share all my happy little moments with. Romantic gestures Jack did, the cute way Arthur got so easily flustered just by talking to me, all the effort and dedication Victor put into our relationship. I wanted to share it all. And as much as I wanted to bubble and burst about those thing, I just couldn't.

I didn't exactly have a close confidant in the mansion. The only people who ever came there were the cleaners and I really didn't want any rumors getting spread around town about me.

Normally, I didn't mind having so few people around. I didn't usually have a need for them given my situation, but, unfortunately, this was one of the few things I couldn't really talk to Mr. Weston about. Jack, Victor, and Arthur would only see it as a competition if I praised something about the others, and, aside from Henry, I didn't really see any of the other personalities often enough to  "talk about my boyfriend."

Again, I couldn't really complain. There were worse things in the world than not having someone to share your relationship with. Still, as I looked at Thomas and Laura, the way they looked at each other as she clung so close to him, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy that I couldn't do the same.

"Umm, Ms. Walton..."

I hadn't even realized how lost in thought I'd been until Thomas's voice suddenly snapped me back to reality. I shook off the last of those thoughts and smiled at him.

"Ah, sorry. What's up?"

"Well, I'd hate to overstep my boundaries, especially after the poor way I reacted last time, but..." He paused for a moment as if deciding if he should bother to ask at all. "I was just wondering... Well... I asked you a bit about Victor and your relationship with him, but I don't think I ever asked much about any of the others. Would you mind if I asked you a little more about your relationships?"

I almost wanted to burst out laughing. As always, Thomas seemed to know exactly what I needed him to say. I smiled and nodded. A look of relief came over his face as I did.

Yes, Thomas was definitely somebody I could pour my heart out to. The good, the bad, and everything else in between. If he wanted to know it all, then I was more than happy to indulge him.