I've been very dysphoric the past few days, more like weeks..... I don't live in a supportive family, mostly from my stepmom and my dad. Though my bio mom's side of the family is. It sucks cause I can't always go visit them without my parents questioning me about what happened, cause my uncle is trans and he's trying to help me out without tipping off my parents. Plus I don't visit them cause I know what my parents would do, as I just explained. 

I recently found out that one of my friends started, well, has been taking testosterone shots. Of course that made me happy for them, yet part of me, all of me was "jealous"/doubting myself since I'll never get that same support until I'm much older. Or once I turn 18. I began telling myself I could never pass of as a male, let alone never achieve what I want to be my true self. Soon enough it brought up old terrible memories, and then this slowly mixed into my depression.

It sucks

(06/20/20)