So I have a scar running down my back saying fat that my "friend" made.  Well that affected me. people Joked about how I was fat in infant even but they don't know how there words cut deep into me, eventually I got fed up and started cutting.

Years later

I am 14 btw

my boyfriend dumped me because I was fat and had problems when I was 12

I didn't eat anything at all

That was my first trip to the hospital

They injected me with something until I was a safe weight and went back home

To much weight... to much

But I ddint starve myself again

Instead I started cutting and lost weight through loss of blood

I got a new boyfriend and I was actually quite slim and good looking.

One night he tried to take my top off and I backed away

He wouldn't understand

No one would

No one can love a girl who cuts

He saw them, fainted

I left him there ( we were at his house )

He was fine

But I wasn't

I was scarred

And my belly was proof

I was home alone that night, my parents are hardly ever home

I got my blade and made I HAVE SCARS on my bells. The R went to.. to deep.

I was freaking out because on top of all of this I have OCD

I dumped myself in a bottle of sanitizer

it burnt so..so much

it was horrific

I was in hysteria

I got out the bath

My mind conflicting

The sane part screaming to wrap it up

The OCD screaming to get back in

The broke screaming to cut deeper, to stop the pain for good

The sane part won

I crawled to the hospital, quite literally at the beginning.

I started walking when the hospital loomed in-front of me.

I got there myself before fainting in the entrance

My parents weren't called because I didn't tell them who I was

They had no record of me either

I had gone to the one over town

That sane part of me won that day

My ex came back beginning

I knew it was guilt

I told him to **** off

That sane part of me won

Is there any sane part of me left now?