"Wow, is that what you think is happening here?" I whispered, given my voice had held back in my throat. He had pushed me to a limit I had never tended to cross with him. I felt the crammed tears working their way to my eyes. I felt every drip slipping freely; I couldn't hold them back. This is how he wanted to see me, so congratulation, he now knows he had gotten to me. "I can understand others when they say that, but you? I just didn't see it coming." I nodded along with a painful half-smile at his childishness.

"Ava, I didn't mean it." Impulsively, he reached for me, but I was too fast to withdraw from him.

His face contorted when I clarified, "Do not touch me."

"Ava, I didn't mean it." He repeated guiltily. He has his desperate gaze fixated on me. "I am sorry." He mumbled, scarcely audible, and cast his eyes down.

"You have no right to say that. You have no idea what I've been through. You know nothing about it. But at least I thought you of all people will understand, yet here you are, standing and criticising me for actions I made that you were the fuel and lighter to every single decision I had made ever since you left." I tasted the sourness of my words in my mouth. I hate when we do this, but he didn't think about it when he let those venomous words leave his lips until they dug a scar with the power they possessed.

He didn't say anything. He kept his head down, his expression hardened. Yes, he should be ashamed of himself.

I can't even begin to believe it is my Leigh against me now. It fucking hurt so badly. I could only stare at him like a stranger.

"You want to know why I dyed my hair?" He was obsessed with knowing, well here it is, "I was fragile, invisible to those I needed to see me at my worst time of life. You know when Lilith was in pain for losing a friend, I was in pain for losing you. But she had the immunity of expressing her emotions. I was there for her, so was everyone in the family, including you on the phone; I heard you talk for hours until she fell asleep in my arms." I snuffled, memorising the injustice. "She could reveal her pain and have us by her side. Unlike her, I didn't have that privilege. I can not confess what I was going through because a sister can not fall in love with her brother, particularly to have her life falling into pieces because she didn't know how to live without him. So I was forced to stand up and act like I wasn't dying until I couldn't stand it anymore, and I had to build a fence between fragile and defence. So yes, this bloody thing is all a lie, okay?" I thread my fingers through the locks of my artificial blonde hair since I am nothing less than an insane person for this irreplaceable man in front of me. "I am not that perfect Ava Lancelot that people saw as an influencer, a happy girl living a perfect life. My world had longed crashed; I have a messed up home, a stranger for a mother, a bully for a step-sister, and my only love life is as complicated as any horror movie can ever be. This is just a makeover. Beneath it is fucking dark." I exclaimed, choking on my tears. I shoved his chest harder this time, as the anger was so intense-it rushed in my veins.

Still again, he didn't budge, his melancholy eyes travelled to mine, and he whispered, "I am sorry."

Sorry? No, I hate that word. Its components are all made of lies. It never amassed the promises it was supposed to brandish. Mom said it consistently, but her instinct goes for the negative the next chance she gets.

"Stop telling me you're sorry because sorry is not enough." I hit him again, annoyed I couldn't make him understand me.

Our gaze was not disconnecting, and in the depth of those hurting eyes, moist were evolving. "Before, at least I could pretend, but then you choose to return and instead of happiness, now I don't know where to stand. I can't even mask my emotions; I am just stupid again. Why is it with you I had to always feel uncertain about a lot of things, doesn't love supposed to feel secure?"

But no, there always seems to be something making me feel so unworthy to him. When today is a natural blonde-haired, model-like body girl tailing him, tomorrow is him ignoring me for unnecessary things, and next tomorrow it is another problem. Insecurity and lack of courage and self-esteem had always been my instinct ever since I knew him.

"It is." He retorted immediately, his pupil dilated as though with fear.

"Are you secure?" I weakly asked.

"Why are you asking me that?"

"You don't trust me. Do you? You are punishing me because of Lucas. You are ignoring me as though I am not in the room. You always leave the house, knowing I don't want you to."

He quickly looked away as a tear finally slipped out of his eyes, "You ran to him. Stayed up with him." His voice was thick with spite.

He should know if not for his sister, we wouldn't be in this case, but it is not my place to tell. I know it involved him; she kissed me and told me she loved me, but it's a whole different situation. She is struggling with understanding herself. I can't be the one to throw her out like that. She might be a snitch, but I am nothing like her.

"I have my reasons to flee. None of which are to hurt you. I didn't run to anyone, though. I ceased working in the middle of a packed street. My classmates found me." I stopped to breathe while he glared at me from the corner of his teary eyes. "I was lost, so was my mobile phone. I don't know how Lucas sailed into the situation, but nothing is between him and me. Why do you have to assume my feeling for you would flutter?"

I had loved only him.

"You don't get it, Ava." He shakes his head.

I don't read minds if in case he doesn't know.

"What don't I get? The fact that your feeling for me has changed?"

"No, Ava, I am scared." He exhaled a small exasperated laugh and turned his head away from me.

"That's unfair. I have always been here for you. I apologise for what happened last year. What else do you want me to do?" I had always wanted to be here for him.

"You don't get it. People leave, I saw them do. What would happen if you start seeing another, either for friendship or less? And I am not around to-You will move on from me and-" His shoulders tenses, he swallowed and left his eyes glued to the floor between us.

So he is insecure too!

He seems vulnerable. It shatters me more than I can possibly handle.

"People like your mom and Hailey?" I hated talking about Hailey, but I know someday we will have to.

He nodded once and pressed his lips into a hard line before he looked up at me.

"I swear I didn't change. I will never change for you if it is not getting to improve my addiction and hopes of impressing you." He quietly started, and the sincerity the words held was so vital it came across his complexion, the profundity of his now green eyes, surrounded with redness, that stained the white area of those once radiant eyes I knew.

"I might seem a little different, but it has nothing to do with conscience. If anything, I am only trying to figure a way out of this tangled direction we found ourselves in." He stopped to breathe and tried to reach for me. This time I didn't protest. I let him pull me to him until my toes were touching the tip of his boots.

He brought his hands to my face and made me look up to him from his chest. His eyes surveyed my face for a moment while his fingers gradually got lost in the density of my hair. This closeness is all I wanted. It's all my body needed to succumb and let lose of its distress.

"Look around us. We are still under this fucking roof. Let's say I can look after myself. You are still under our parents' guidance, and I can't take you with me." He added, and that bitter truth had me blinking drips of tears that slid down my face, and I choked.

Leigh shook his head and brought his thumb under my eyes, tenderly brushing away the liquid that made messed on my face.

He leaned a little, so our faces were exceedingly close. I could feel his breath blowing against the skin of my wet face. His thumb brushed over my trembling lips, and his eyes followed.

"There is no one for me, Ava. I hate that you have to always feel insecure about that. You have no idea how, up to this day, having you still feels like a dream. You are too beautiful. God, I am so afraid of waking up." I was speechless, just as half of my body had become immobilized. I watched him incline forward and kiss my forehead before he pulled me to his chest and held me tightly. "I will figure this out, one way or another. I promise. You and I would have our story, but I will need your help." He pleaded in my hair, his head resting on mine. I hug him back as waves of shudder rattle from my inside.

One hand was caressing my hair, and the other was sliding up and down my small back. I could finally relax. It felt like nothing else mattered. Everything was just enlivening again. I didn't have to worry about mom or my snitch of a step-sister who claimed to love me.

"I need your vibrant smile." He continues from above me. "I want back the shade of your true self that no one has. You have to know that no one owes you anything, Ava. You don't live to impress anyone. You are too blessed for that." He pulled back a little to meet my soft eyes, his were beginning to brighten up again, but there was still evidence he had shed some tears. "You thought me of kindness, love and decency. I always wonder how you're human because all your character particles and limbs are divine. Take me as a demander. I won't deny myself that part of you." He begs just as the front door creaks open, and we instantly pull away.

"Hello?" Calls a thick accent from the foyer, one I must have heard somewhere because it sounded oddly familiar.

I stepped away from Leigh and quickly composed myself as I could, fretting about my crimson complexion and swollen eyes before French Claire popped her head from the archway of the living room.

The amusement on her face faded as she took in the sight of Leigh and me, and a line appeared between her hardened brows by the time she adjusted her stance and walked into the room.

What is she doing here?

"Ava? Leigh?" She leered, and I blanched, my feet cemented to the marbled floor.

I hope the whole scenery doesn't seem as suspicious as I feel endangered right now.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, as nervous as I could be.

"There are some coats Suri had picked for Allison and me for the private countdown event at hills high." She smiles warmly. "They are sure the temperature will drop at midnight. And there is no way we are forfeiting the event because of the chills, you know." She joked and turned towards the staircase when I stood paled, not knowing how to act.

God, I hope I didn't give away and expose my little hidden secret.

"Hey," Leigh called unexpectedly, and she halted and spun with a so much trying smile.

"Finally asking me out?" The corner of her mouth quirked up into a smirk, and I cringed at her implication.

She glances at me briefly before diverting her eyes back to Leigh.

"No, but how do you get our key?" He asked seriously and curious, providing me with a bucket of relief.

I remember her and her sister, saying things about him, very indecently. So having Leigh turn her proposal away without wasting any time, swells my heart.

"Your sister, of course, isn't it obvious." She simpered seductively and pranced away like she owed the building.

"This is what I am talking about. We always get interrupted in the middle of something." He complained, and I fussed from across the room, shooting him a quiet panic plead while he paced back and forth around the living area. "Leave it to Lilith to distribute our house keys and have every Las Vegas resident audaciously in our house."

"Stop talking," Wide eye, I whispered a shout, and he rolled his eyes, sulking, when she flopped into the sofa and frustrated dart his eyes to the telly showing a violent boxing press conference.

French Claire returned some seconds later with Prada shopping bags similar to those I'd gotten from the girls earlier and asked why I wasn't at the event anyway.

I had stuttered, not having a logical explanation until Leigh came up with the righteous answer.

"She is grounded." He had thrown smartly at the girl suspiciously staring, in a way that my fingers itched to rip her straight hair from her scalp.

Wordlessly, she glances at me and smirks before she twirls around on her heels and waves us goodbye.

A few seconds later, the door opened and closed, and we waited in our position quietly until her vehicle engine roars to life and the tyres skids across the asphalt till there was silence again.

Then strong arms came around me from behind. He leaned in and buried his face in the nook of my neck.
"We are not staying here tonight, right?" He whispered.

Faltering and smiling, I bite my lip, just concentrating on his arms around me, making me feel so small.

"Let me take you out, make up for my moroseness behavior towards you." He nibbled the skin under my ear, and my eyes automatically closed at the warmth of his tongue. I felt my weak legs giving in and my body leaning against his contracted chest. I couldn't help the peaceful smile with my hands over his, looping my stomach.

"I thought I was grounded."

"Are you? I can't remember." He groaned softly. The sound is music to my ears. I giggled and rolled my eyes, still annoyed at him, but his proximity had invaded me. I couldn't think clearly.

He had kissed my neck and asked me if I needed to get anything, but I was stupidly fitted by the girls already. God, I hate Lilith and her friends.

Leigh grabs my hand and coat from the armchair and guides me out to mom's car, which seems his for the holiday.

When we were both in the quiet of the vehicle, he had turned off the radio, promising he only wanted my voice and breathing in his hearing, not some annoying men singing about broken love.

Smiling, I hooked my arm around his and laced our fingers. He smiled and kissed my forehead when I rested my head on his shoulder before he took off and pulled onto that road to wherever he had in mind.