LEIGH

Ava and I hadn't communicated for a year because I was afraid there was no probability that she could realize what she truly meant to me.

What she read in the book had guided her to what was false, that she behaved toward me so unfairly, which is entirely understandable, knowing I would have done the same if I found her writing about her past relationship in a journal.

The only difference is, I would have listened to her; I would have given her time to explain herself. But I didn't get that from her; she had avoided me since the summer party and forced me into another loop of heartbreak.

When we got back to the city, she had told Susan she was behind the messages that came into my dad's phone, which was totally my doing, all to have her to myself.

The confession had gotten her grounded. It seems though it was what she planned for because she stayed locked in her bedroom after her mother decided to move back to eagle hills the next day; I was sure she didn't want anything to do with me, as she had made abundantly clear that night.

Agreed, I messed up. I know I should've called her after I left, and I am a coward for trying to resist what I crave, to impel avoidance to what we had. The past year I had been confused, fully aware there was nothing to say to erase what she read about Hailey and me, so I stayed back and respected the space she created between us.

As a result of that, I stayed at bay, devastated, falling apart every day.

Through those months, I spoke with dad and Lilith, and sometimes Susan; they were constantly calling, wanting to know how I was settling into college. How much New Jersey has treated me. How I was doing with studies and football, to the extent they traveled to watch two games I played, but that one person who I was hoping to see stayed away. Ava didn't care to call or come over.

It had hurt in an inexpressible understanding and left me wondering, did she hate me that bad that she wouldn't miss me after all that we had?

Football had been my only placid place, but as time passed, it became hard to concentrate. I lost two games in a roll, causing a threat to my grade, that I could get replaced by the former star quarterback, who is the captain of the school team. Until Julian brought up suggestions, an effective solution, I shouldn't, but I submitted to some pill he introduced to me, claiming would be helpful for my situation.

Taking that, I was able to pass the next game; and since then, I could monitor my emotions. I clutch on that beneficial treatment around me regularly to erase the hurting feeling of reliving the heartbreak that almost all the women who came through my life had caused.

And so that's why I didn't want Julian anywhere close to Ava. Well, another reason why, since I have a long list of why he is a bad influence. And Ava deserves better, even if it means someone that's not me.

Honestly, I would've become addicted to Julian's supplies. But, Claire was there, not that she knew about my illicit intention, but she understood I needed someone, so she came to be constant, always around me, nothing more but a good friend.

We talked, understood each other; she confided in me about her past life, the schools she attended as a child, and what she aspires for herself after graduation. I told her a lot too, even excessive that I'd never told anyone before, about Hailey. About my mom dying and Lillith and I growing up without mother's affection. About my father finding love again after difficult years, we had to live just the three of us. And more about Ava coming into my life and imprisoning me in an abyss where we couldn't be together.

Yes, that was excessive.

Claire was like my free therapist, always available and ready to listen, so when she brought up coming along to see the city I live, I didn't refuse.

God knows I will need her in Vegas when things get foggy. And besides, I'd be a terrible person if I let our friendship be one-sided.

***

For fifteen minutes, I stood outside the hotel, watching jovial families and friends ambling to and fro while I weathered a fierce headache thanks to Ava, who outspoken words I still can't bring myself to digest.

After minutes of processing the shocking news, memorizing I can never approve of this cold reality that she claimed, I hurried to the elevator and ascended to where Julian and Claire were having a good time, chatting about the surrounding and wonders of the city.

"It's a fine place, centrally located to every view. Perhaps we can check the club. I heard it can be really loud." Claire smiled at me when she noticed my presence.

I genuinely wish I had the time to give her the tour I promised, but the girl Susan and my dad had trusted me with just walked away, slipping into a car of her so-called boyfriend, while I stood frozen, not doing anything to stop her from running away.

"We have to go. I lost Ava." I informed them, bringing out my wallet from the pocket. I kept the payment on the table and urged the two dazed people to get up.

"What? Weren't you just behind her?" Claire's eyebrows hardened in confusion.

Well, I lost her to some weird kid I don't know when she was mildly drunk and should be around my sight.

Great, just great. Now I did just great.

"Apparently, she has a so-called boyfriend that I don't know of, he appeared, and they took off." A sharp pain wrenched through me at the thought and resentment at the idea of him taking advantage of her when she's inebriated and angry at me.

"She's not single?" Claire confusedly asked. "That's absurd. I thought she was not dating anyone."

That's precisely what I had told Claire when I thought there might be a chance Ava thinks about me just as I do about her every day. And that's on Lilith, who didn't notify me of Ava's relationship through all the phone calls we had.

Breath... I need to breathe.

"Look, we will find her, okay?" Claire told me and began grabbing her purse from the table.

"She's not safe. I am supposed to keep an eye on her, mostly now that she is angry, rebellious, and all the things I don't even understand. How could I watch her slipped between my fingers." Dad will kill me, and then I will kill myself.

When we descended to the parking lot, I was striding toward the car, furiously pulling my hair at the mistake I'd just made.

"Are you okay, man?" Julian asked from behind me and offered to drive due to my mood.

But I can take it. It's like being behind the wheels could provide me extra eyes around the city.

Taking another step, I stop and turn around, the muscle in my jaw twitching.

I didn't know how to regulate my emotion when they began to overwhelm me, so I combusted. "My stepsister had just disappeared with some wild teenage boy; of course, I am not okay."

He brought a hand to my shoulder, saying: "Chill." Like a girl wasn't in danger.

"You have no idea how messed up this is. I can't go back to the mountains without her, and I totally have no idea where she could be. Start worrying, or it wouldn't be good even for you." I snarl, boring my intense gaze at him until Claire interferes, asking: "Okay, think of somewhere, anywhere she can be. The place she goes to when she wants to be alone."

Okay, that is helpful.

I only have to think... But the Ava I knew was always in her room, reading. She doesn't leave the house for no reason.

Where else would she go now? It is not like she has too many friends...

Evie's? She might be at Evie's.

"Evie's, her best friend, but she left with a guy, which is a different case; I don't think he will want her friends around to stop him from... God! If he..." I swallowed roughly from the thought and turned away, my eyes closing from the sudden tension.

Pinching my temples, I dragged my fingers to my forehead, squeezing down to the bridge of my nose.

Claire rubs my back with her hand, and when I look up to her, she wears a smile that says it will be okay. "Nothing is going to happen. We are going to find her." She assured softly.

Ava was half drunk when she left. What if something terrible happens to her? I will never forgive myself.

I take in a deep breath and begin to look away, but Claire stops me. Bringing her hand to my face, and assures again: "Hey! We will find her."

I didn't waste any more time; I drove through Las Vegas while Julian and Claire kept heedful eyes around.

When I parked in Evie's driveway and climbed out, hoping as soon as the entrance door opened, my problems would be resolved.

"Leigh Boyce? What are you doing here?" Said some boy who must know me?

Unease by the way he wouldn't stop grinning, I peep through the half-open door but not a sign I was looking for.
God, let her be in there and grant me comfort.

"Is Ava in there?" I asked the kid.

"No?" His brows snapped together, taking over the grin from his face. "Weren't they supposed to be at the mountains? Evie left this afternoon."

How great, I just pressured another family.

But that's not even the case; what got my stomach tightening was the fact that Ava could be anywhere around this big lively city with a stranger, who practically kidnapped her. Well, she went willingly, but she didn't know what she was doing.

"Oh, that! Yes, I guess then they're all there. I've been around the strip all day. I just wanted to make sure they didn't slip out." I fake a smile at the boy. I hope I don't look tensed because inwardly, I was hitting myself.

I was responsible for her safety. How could I be so careless? I let what she told me to get in the way of my thinking, and now I am a mess.

"You sure everything is okay?" He asked, a slight of worry on his face, as he peered at my face.

I compose myself and fake another smile, convincing him it's all good.

The grin he had earlier came back, and he said: "Cool. And congratulations on your league win. I heard you are weeping arses there."

My eyes narrowed, I watched him intently.
"Are you allow to say that?" What is he eleven?

"No!" He began to redden whilst biting his lips.

I chuckled at the boy's reaction and held out my fist for a bump to ease him down.

Enthusiastic, he reciprocates, widely smiling while I leave.

The moment I slid into the driver's side of Susan's car, I squeezed my eyes shut, letting out a frustrating sigh before resting my head against the wheels to control the amount of stress in my brain.

After some minutes passed and I still couldn't govern the stirring sensation in my head, I turned to the rare seat and asked Julian to refill me.

There was quiet until he handed me a tiny ziplock.

"Here." He had said.

Before I could process the next event, the ziplock was snatched from me.

"What the hell? You must be kidding me. Things go wrong, and you go swallowing pills? Are you insane?" Claire exclaimed, shaking her head slightly before she turned to Julian. "And you brought it along? You are unbelievable." She denounced with revulsion in her tone.

"Tell you what." Her finger pokes my chest while she simmers with anger next to me. Okay. "This is not the way to solve your problem. It would only make this worst, and whatever you fear couldn't go any worse will go beyond imaginary lines because none among us know this town as much as you do, and when you pass out without finding Ava, believe me, tomorrow will be the darkness you will ever pass through." Her finger had been poking me while she babbled without breathing.

When she was done throwing her small fit, Julian and I watched her settle back into her seat, looking through the windshield like she didn't just pull a theatrical show seconds ago.

"Besides, I am not willing to lay my life to a junky." She appended in the quiet space.

Well, that is a little about Claire. Of course, she was everything all girls would want to be, but she was dramatically odd, fun to hang out with, and cared so much for those she considered friends.

It was what drew me to her in the first place.

Few seconds passed when Julian asked me: "Is there a lead at least?" Beckoning at the house that Ava's friend lives in.

That roused back the main deal. I rub my temple again. A habit that seems to evolve in me this evening.

"Nothing." I scoff bitterly at my situation, then bang the wheels from the pressure plopped on me, causing Claire's flinching and Julian cursing under his breath.

"Why not call Lilith and ask maybe she's home?" Julian implied a very reasonable suggestion that woke me up.

He is right. She might know something I don't.

I grab my phone from the center console and scroll through my contacts. Calling Lilith...

The two people in the car keep their anticipating stares at me while waiting for my sister to pick up the call.

The second she did, I blurt: "How is the sleepover? Have Ava slept off?"

Shit.

Three seconds passed before Lilith responded: "What? Dude, you left no Ava here; didn't you take her along?"

Another silent, this time from my end since I just found out I am finished.

And Lilith was a very smart girl. She connected the dots and went fully sassy: "Oh shit! You lost her. Dad will be so disappointed in you for taking his favorite child and throwing her out to the wolves. That takes tremendous balls."

Annoyed at her behavior, I explain: "She slipped. I didn't purposely cast her out. Unlike you, I don't have hostile intents towards my family."

"Well, then suit yourself. Just know that you shouldn't return without daddy's child. Leigh, the last time Ava slipped, she stayed away for two days; the police had to get involved." She bites out the last word.

The organs in my stomach somersaulted at the painful reminder of the risk Ava might presently be.

"Fuck!" I hit the wheel again.

"Yup. So bye. Have a long night." She sassily drawled.

What is wrong with her?

"Wait!" I quickly plead.

"What?"

I need her help. She has ears around, and mostly she is a girl who will know more than I can.

"You have to help me. Please?" I swallowed the lump in my throat and added: "She was drunk."

I heard her exhale roughly, then groaned: "How could you let that happen? I might despise the girl as you claimed, but I would never let Ava out of my sight, mostly now that puberty is hitting her poorly."

What? My nose crinkled at that.

"How can I know the softest girl had turned into some wild, rebellious version I never expected." I scoffed exasperatedly.

She exhales again and questions: "Do you have any lead?"

Impatient, I partially yell: "I wouldn't be calling you if I do."

"God! Don't give me that attitude. I am not the one who lost the keep. She was under your watch, and you let her circumvent you." Lilith retorted.

I see.

Though I have no time for mockery.

"You're so unhelpful, bye." I began to detach the phone from my hearing when she gave in. After all, she honestly cares for Ava. They're only in a stage where the two will never agree on the same aspect. I don't even understand anymore.

"Alright, I will help you." She blew out a deep exhale in the receiver. I could picture her rolling her eyes. "Suri said there's this backyard camping at Remington's. I will send you directions to his place. I am sure that's where she is."

"Who is Remington?" I asked, staring at Claire, who had a confused expression plastered on her face.

"He plays soccer for the school, he is friends with Lucas, and since Tori and Evie are here, I guess Ava might be with Lucas and the boys."

The boys? Please, God, keep her safe.

"Her boyfriend?" I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"Not that I know of." Lilith paused, sounding as if eating something. "Ava is single as a lonely tree in the middle of the river. God! how do you reckon that?" She chuckled and continued. "You have to know your sister is inaccessible and immune to human affection. I start to believe she is aro." She said the last part with disgust.

While switching on a light of hope in me, I begin to wonder if maybe that has something to do with me. I mean everything to do with me? Perhaps she was waiting just as I am.

When I didn't respond, Lilith said. "Call me when you find her, and make sure to get me pizza rock for being helpful."

That's at downtown grand, and I am now in Summerlin.

"I left that behind."

"So? Turn back." She freely orders like I work for her. And I wouldn't mind if one sister wasn't missing in the morning.

"Pizza's not gonna last until we get home." I point out, as my excuse.

"God, you're such an annoying and low grade for a tv brother." She groaned and hung up before I could say anything.

"Okay, that's helpful." Claire chuckled, this time slapping the wheels, urging me to start the car.

"I hope."