The nightstand alarm went off, chiming continuously until I annoyedly whacked the thing with a throw pillow.

Groaning, my face still buried in these soft pillows that mom brought here last year after she and Christian were legally married, I wouldn't say I remember what happened next, but another irritating alarm broke into a particular sound sleep I must have dozed off to after my pillow strike had mute the first alarm.

Agitated, I shoot upward, intending to toss the stupid device against the wall when my eyes fall on my mobile phone, over my iPad, my laptop, tripods. Everything I possess that was taken away from me yesterday is back, either sitting by my nightstand or standing by the swinging chair.

Is this a dream, or did she really return everything?

Spontaneously, my lips spread into an unrepressed smile at the idea of interacting with my hundreds of thousand followers again, but I must admit, there's a sliver of hope that mom had regretted what happened yesterday's afternoon, and it makes me feel much better, not that I wasn't better because assuming I woke up to nothing like the vibration of my mobile device, I still will be smiling like a wanker. I mean, yesterday was terrible to some extent, but it ended up getting better than a tv fairytale.

It's hard to close my eyes without having the rerun of every moment shared with Leigh. Someone might take me as a fool, but until now, I agree with something Evie once said to me when I was falling apart after Leigh left. 'My world revolves around only one person, despite all the other beauties there is around me.'

Indeed, she was right.

But how wouldn't such a man capture me? When his beaming smile is like the gleam of sunrise, unfurling beauty and brightness gradually, until it dominates the darkness, illuminating every shade of gloominess.

Although I have to think logical, if mom had changed her mind, it must mean something.

The thing is, in the past year, it wasn't only me that changed; mom did a lot too. Her promises never waver. She does exactly what she swore. Mom doesn't hold back or reverse her words; it was the foundation of our fallen relationship, watching her become tougher and difficult to understand; I thought there was no point in being open anymore. She doesn't understand. She doesn't care.

All that mattered to her was either helping Lilith acquire her brats desires or Christain words around the dining table or on the couch on movie nights when she would frequently warn me to keep my mobile phone aside and focus while she, on the other hand, making small talks with Christian and giggling endlessly, like a girl my age.

I barely mattered. My GPA didn't make a difference anymore, how I went to bed or leave to school was no more in her consideration, the way I dressed or made my hair was not her problem unless it was country clubs occasions when every family is portraying flawlessness, then that's the part she would scold me for changing my hair colour, for becoming more skinnier than the last time she brought me a dress.

Sawyer believed it was the influence of power and money, having everything you wish for present at the preferred time you want. She claims it was what changed my mother.

All I know is, it sucks that she was absent at the year I needed her the most. If Christian weren't understanding, I'd have gone crazy because it was always "I can't believe you are so immature, Ava." "How can you be so stupid, Ava?" "what is wrong with you, Ava?" "you think what you did was okay, Ava? You're grounded for two weeks." "you will help the housekeepers with the chores; that should teach you some manners, Ava."

And the confusing part is, she was so kind to Lilith no matter what trouble she pulled. That at the end of every day to Lilith, mom will always be "She's just a teenager, she's going through a lot, Christian." "it's going to be alright? My dear." "life wouldn't always be apples and berries, but we are here for you, Lilith." "you are going through some changes, I understand; I wouldn't question you for that."

There was clear evidence everywhere as to why she's not that woman who had loved me more than anything in her life, and that drove me crazy all the time.

But push that aside, right now, I have a phone repeatedly buzzing by the nightstand, causing my brain to ruffle.

I should pick up Sawyer's call that had woken me from the perfect slumber I've ever had since last summer. I am not going to brag, but I must say, last night felt a million times better than the past fifty weeks nights I had spent in my bedroom, listening to songs that paired with my emotions, as though they will help matters when they only worsened the situation and enhanced my hurting.

But last night was different; all I had been caught up in was inhaling my wrist, places Leigh had held and touched and left his essence, that arose every fibre of me being.

He smells too good. Everything he touches, or anywhere he departed, must clasp his scent that resembles misty forest and spring, citrus and spice, leather and cologne. I could easily indicate from memory, but I can't quite put a finger on what exactly it was made up of; regardless, it permeated the world I Iive.

Sniffing my wrist again, I pick up the mobile device, slide the accept indicator and sit up against the headboard, my legs folded in front of me as my cousin appears on my phone screen.

She was strolling around what seemed like a park in her typical blue overcoat.

"Where are you at? What is it evening?" I asked, squeezing my heavy eyes at the brightness of the screen.

"Would you always be unsettled every morning?" Sawyer chuckles. Tucking back her Dua Lipa neck length haircut, which I had slightly begun to envy days before Princeton, Claire appears with a hair worthy of Disney fairytale animations and peel my ego away.

"Do I look unsettled to you?" I impatiently retorted.

"A good example is your hair, my dear." She squinted briefly.

There we go.

"Oh goodness. The amount of disrespect this hair had gotten is a bloody plague. A homeless person would feel better to find out there's something at the very top of the abhorred list." I lazily rolled my eyes heavenward.

"Ava, a homeless man, doesn't pretend, and that hair is a total fake." She said that as a matter of fact.

The corners of my eyes crinkled as confusion ate up my expression. When I accepted her phone call this morning, it didn't occur to me I would start my day with insults. "Do you call me this morning to insult me?"

She ignored my quizzical facial expressions and went on saying: "If my clock is correct, it should be almost eleven-thirty there."

Confidently, I sighed: "No, it's seven. My alarm just went off."

With a straight face, Sawyer shakes her head. "No. Unmistakably, it is almost noon."

"No way, it's..." I started with a self-assured attitude; then, my jaw dropped in shock when I slid the phone screen, and my eyes met the time. "Damn it. I was supposed to wake up earlier."

Presently, her expression hardened, she looked around her surrounding exasperatedly.
"Were you drunk again?"

What?

Swallowing, I blinked.

"What kind of nonsense accusation is that?"

"Aunty Susan said you've been very problematic recently."

So now that's what mom discusses with people behind my back.

"Wonderful. How about she shout that at the top of the roof and share my behaviour with the entire Vegas residents." I riposte in a sulky dissatisfied mood.

"Ah-Ah." Her mouth fell open, observing me as if I've grown a thousand heads. "We are family, Ava. Isn't she supposed to discuss things with us?" Sawyer brows pull together.

"Us?" I let out a terrifying laugh.

"My mom. Your auntie. Auntie Susan's sister, Ava." She spells out frustratedly.

"I should know she will exacerbate it. Incredible! Now even my Auntie, living across the Atlantic ocean, knows of my drinking days." My eyes closed while I sank heavily on my side.

"Why, Ava?" She sounded disappointed.

My eyes lingered closed, mentally willing lousy energy away.

"Why what, Sawyer?" Lazily, I reopen my lids.

"That's not you. You don't go out drinking and partying. That is outrageous."

Snorting, I rolled my eyes. "You don't know me. Neither do mom."

"That's the part that you're wrong. I know you, and I know that you are lying to me."

True, and that's why I have to change this subject immediately before she figures out everything from thousand of miles away with her observant eyes through a zoom call.

"Whatever, what else did my dear mother tell you? Did she make sure to mention she slapped me until I was on my buttocks, and the part where she compared me with my father?"

"What?" Sawyer halted. Her mouth practically fell over.

Yes, that's what I thought.

"Thought as much."

Confused, her head shakes. "Why would she do that?"

"Isn't it obvious? She finds a family now, so she's been a bitch to me."

"That's meaningless."

I know.

"Ava, I am so sorry." Sawyer quietly said, tucking some locks of hair behind her ear again, her eyes glistening with emotions.

Awkward silenced pass by, none of us knew what to say, until chattering of kids came from her background.

"Where are you at?" I took the opportunity and find something to talk about.

"At Regent's Park. Just out with Helen and Anne. Today had been hectic."

Helen and Anne go to the same catering institute Sawyer attends. The three have been hanging out for a while now, that we've been acquainted with each other.

"My regards." I smiled warmly.

"Of course, and happy birthday in advance."

"Thank you."

After the call, I roll over on my back, staring at the ceiling and just letting myself to freely respire.

Nothing should matter; I must push back the fact that mom had been gossiping about me.
I've had too many heartbreaks; I shouldn't let it consume me.

Right now, I finally have my happiness probably waiting for me on the ground floor.

I wonder what he wore today, if his chestnut hair was tousled, falling over his forehead, as though he just woke from sleep.

Affirmative, my mind wouldn't stop steering in his direction. It is just that he feels right. And he is what keeps me going every day, even when we weren't together.

Apparently, some things will never change.

Smiling boarding, I began typing in my iMessage.
Ava: Are you there?

I sent and closed my eyes, mentally counting each second that passed by as I waited for his response.

At precisely nine seconds, my phone made the typical dinging notification sound.

Promptly bolting upright to a sitting position, with my legs folded and my hair falling over my face, I had to hook the strands behind my ear while grinning at three letters.

Leigh: Ava?

Typing...

Ava: Yes, I have my phone back.

Chewing my nails, I waited fifteen seconds before another notification came in.

Leigh: I was hopeful. But I was being prudent not to say anything and fall in the wrong hands. Did you have a good sleep?

Giggling, I brought my wrist to my breathing holes while typing with one hand.
Ava: Very well. I dreamt even.

Ding*

Leigh: Was it about me?

Blushing deeply, I quickly type a reply.
Ava: Yes.

Leigh: Tell me about it?

That's not how it works.
Ava: When we are alone?

I sent and eagerly bit my lip, feeling every organ in my body responding to him, albeit he wasn't here.

My attentive eyes remained anxious, waiting for his comeback.

Leigh: I'd like that.

God, he is so sweet. I didn't know I was squealing from happiness until my eyes flashed the mirror.

Bloody hell, I look like a crazy girl.

Before I left the bed, I quickly texted Leigh about my plans for the moment, which included a shower and phone call with my girls.

It took me five minutes to wash my body, five minutes to blow dry my wet hair and five to change into a knee-length blue dress and white trainers.

Upon arriving by the patio sliding door, it registered in me; I hadn't worn any makeup. Hell, I didn't even wear my perfumes.

No, no. There's no way I can go out there.

Goodness, Ava. You had one thing, only one thing; to look beautiful, but no, it's now history because dang, you should see Princeton Claire, even though she might not be into Leigh, as he had claimed, it didn't make any better that she was gorgeous. I am a pale face standing awkwardly by the exit, feeling like crap.

What if Leigh adored her appearance? What if he brought her here specifically so I could learn? No, he wouldn't dare degrade me that low. He loved me in the presence of Sofia Halt and Embry Wesley. Those two girls were goddesses. Period.

My mind had tangled in-between insecurities and my sudden faded self-esteem, that I only perceive Princeton Claire's impressions by the patio furniture, eating grapes with Lilith and Jillian, like the world was hers, and we are all created to serve her.

How did my life become this? Revolving in a jealous route, around a particular stranger.

When I finally made the decision to steer back to my bedroom and transform my look, maybe even change into a better dress, the universe disagreed with me.

"Hey." His gentle voice came up from behind before his scent orbited around me.

Shit.