AVA

"Ava?"

The weather is supposed to be warm, but I was shivering from a frigid feeling inside of me. What is only scorching is my chest and the chafing sensation holding back my voice in my throat.

"Hey." I forced out into the receiver, my voice is hoarse from crying.

"Are you okay?" Christian concernedly questioned, sounding solicitous and disquiet. He must have heard the despair in my voice. Then I briefly marvel at what his reaction could be if he could see me in only a t-shirt and pantie and blood sticking to my hair, staining some part of my face.

It's crazy how in just a few moments, everything changes. I am now the absolute portrayal of the sole survivor in a horror movie, only I didn't survive and I am dying slowly. How couldn't I fight him? How did I end up a damsel in distress, I had to be rescued by my stepsister who's no doubt right now sketching strategies for methods of exterminating me.

"Yes." My cracked, rasping voice was a whisper.

"You sure?" He cautioned.

"Yes," I repeated with everything I have.

The shock from what had happened was just as fresh as it was occurring. All I want is to be under my shower, where I can scrub off Arlen from my skin at least, given the memories are here to stay, but I could embrace myself for what is ahead of me, for everyone now knows what had only been a secret ever since I come to America.

Now they will call me a deceiver, a liar, a devil, and a sinner. Lilith wouldn't even look at me ever since she aided me out of my hell. And I won't blame anyone of them. I'm quite not who I claimed to be. I'm all fake and I don't even realize how it all comes to this.

"Ava, it's about last night. Are you sure you were alone in that car?" Christian troubledly examined. I don't know why he needed more explanation after the long conversation we had last night.

Voices in my head say the only reason for him to have the motive for a second discussion on the same subject is if someone had already said something, or he had found some evidence of what I had lied about the whole time.

"What happened?" I strained, my throaty voice coming out weak, as I can feel all the girls eyes on me. Even Quinn's from the rare mirror while she drives.

But I am proven to be imagining every hypervigilance sensibility and alertness when I look right over to Lilith, and she has one unease leg on the seat, tapping the surface repeatedly while her head is resting back against the backrest, her eyes adhered to the roof above us. Not me.
No one was looking at me. Quinn is focused on the road. Suri has her hands over her face.

I am just mentally unstable.

"The mechanics have your vehicle, they sent this disturbing image from the driver's seat, you'll get it in seconds."

Just as he finished the sentence, the phone buzzed in my hand, and then I felt Lilith shift closer.

With shaky fingers, I compel myself to tap the attachment Christian had sent, and as it downloads clearly, my blood runs cold.

Blood... Too much blood smeared all over the seat.

I might have faintly heard Christain asking in-between the burning memories from yesterday that struck my brain.
"Ava? Is that your blood?" The man demanded an answer, that I can't give to him immediately.

I have to think, and I know for sure that I am alright, that that blood isn't mine. The doctors confirmed my wellness. And mom tripled check me. Besides I was only in that spot for a while after the accident.

Now what I begin to remember is that Leigh didn't have his shirt before the accident, but when I opened my eyes after the vehicle had crashed against the rock, he was dressed back in his shirt.

Therefore, no matter how much I do not want to disagree with my calculations, I can't refuse and dismiss the evidence occurring like an old cassette in my head.

What if he had stayed true to his promise, and hadn't taken any drugs as I had accused him of? What if he just needed my help and I ran away from him last night? What if he was just hurt and we all left him alone all by himself?

"What is that?" Lilith terrifyingly urged. The force in her question had an impact on my anxiety.

I swear I felt my lips open but I couldn't hear my voice apologizing, "I-I... Am sorry."

What I'm feeling at this moment was stiffness in my tightening heart. I toss the phone to its owner and gutturally begged Quinn, who was behind the wheel to drive as fast as the car can manage.

Parents used to tell us nothing was permanent in life, be it sadness or happiness, but as I grow up it pains me to discover how some certain people just seem to remain sealed in the same circumstances, as though they're destined for a lifetime for it. Like in my case, there's always tragedy after another, regret after guilt, sorrow after heartache. Every day was grey, the colour I have is when Leigh is near. And now I had pushed him away at the probably wrong time.

"Ava, whose blood is that?"

Now Lilith was shaking my shoulder, her eyes wide and pale.

Still, I couldn't respond. I am scarcely in control of what I am doing when I find my phone next to me and begin searching for Leigh's cell phone number.

The first call rang until it carried me to his voicemail. I try for the second time, the third and the fourth until my head agreed with the horrible thoughts throbbing in my mind.

"Ava?" Suri and Lilith devastatingly called simultaneously.

My breathing was clogging, and my lungs were expanding, or rather shrinking, pleading for air I couldn't find.

I face Lilith, there is apprehensiveness behind her glare. I choke on the swelling sob in my throat, trying to voice out my words, "He... He was... there..."

I just failed. My body is failing at every second I live.

"No." Lilith exhaled and then scoffs before thrusting her fingers into her hair. "No-no no no no no no." She began shaking her head in denial. Her fingers tremble while she dials her brother's cell phone number.

Earlier when I thought I was cold, it was nothing compared to the frigid sensation that numbed my entire body right now. I could hear my shudder and whimper as my broad gaze blurred with tears, anchored to the windscreen while Lilith kept leaving panicked voicemails that have no use.

The moment we drive through the Hills gate, my cold-blooded foot itches to jump out of the moving vehicle. I am mentally praying for one thing only; for Leigh to be okay even if he will be mad at me. I can take that. But I can't take seeing him hurt. So when Quinn slows down by our driveway, I didn't let her park the vehicle. I hop out, racing into the house that only needs four security passkeys to unlock.

"Leigh?" I called loudly, my throat sore, it sears.

Silence... A heavy kind of silence leaves me deaf in the huge hall.

"Leigh?" It came out as a whisper from the chills in my veins. Just not how I intended to sound when I proceeded down the archway.

The little breath I have is knocked out of me along with my heart as I come across the white wall, now smudged with a red substance.

That wall...

Flashes from last night while I shoved him away and he crashed against that same spot, exhaling noisily, came vividly like it is presently happening in front of me.

No, I just messed up.

He was in pain all the time.

What have I done?

Footsteps were speeding up behind me. I knew it is Lilith and her girlfriends.

"Is that blood?" One of the girls exclaimed behind me.

I spun, my eyes locked on Lilith's like a magnet. She was breathing through her parted mouth. Her paled eyes protrude, begging me for words from me that I can't promise.

I just walk away, pushing in between the other two girls and race upstairs.

Please God, let this be a nightmare. I don't care how excruciating it is, just have me wake up around my complete family.

I can't imagine what is behind this door that I must open. I've never felt this fear.

The loud rhythm of my heartbeat is audible in my ears as the silence got even more wrenching. The door creaks at the slow push I gave it until it meets the surface behind it. I am already weeping tears then, for regret, guilt, pain, agony, and every sort of worst emotion had overwhelmed me.

I have a full view of the room that held colour just a few days ago, and I have become stationary, almost falling to my knees at what is right here before me.

I heard footsteps halting just behind me, sharp inhale of multiple breaths. I heard a sob, and a loud voice imploring the name whose owner lives rent-free in my heart.

"Leigh?" I murmured, but I am sure no one heard.

The bedding was grey, but it was soaked with red. The carpet used to be white but now was coloured with Leigh's blood.

"Okay, Leigh?" Lilith pushed my immobilized body aside, running over to the bed where her brother was laying shirtless on his back.

In horror, I watched what I never thought I would experience, not even after a million years with him.

She slapped his face and shook his arms. He didn't move.
"Enough with the joke. Wake up now."

"Leigh, I am serious wake-up." She burst into tears.

"I am calling an ambulance." Suri shakily publicized, while Lilith undid the gauze bandage circled around his stomach.

There was not a single scratch there.

"I-I think it's his back." Quinn stuttered, helping Lilith turn his unmoving body over.

I am still in shock. No part of my body is moving.

Just last night I was clinging to his body, he was so much alive, he looked immortal.

This has to be some kind of delusional torment. It can't be true.

As the bandage is removed from his skin, a deep fresh cut is exposed.

At that instant, Lilith races to the balcony, throwing up into the plants. I, on the other hand, processed how we got here.

An indistinct image with muffle sounds plays in my mind.

The car crashed, Leigh instinctively covering me with his body as the glass shattered.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

He was charmingly laughing, he promising to me he was fine.

"Somehow, I am glass proof." He joked.

But you weren't, Leigh. You are only human, and you lied to me.

All those time we spent in the garage, we could've been in the hospital. He could've been awake today. All I want is for him to be awake.

"He's cold-He's cold. He can't be dead. He's not dead, right." Lilith kept letting out, asking her miserable friends.

I retreat a step back and feel my body falling until I am on my knees.

It's all my fault. I had the wheels.
I had him just there with me. I had him downstairs when he asked me to come back into the house, and rather, I selfishly saw him as a monster instead of a wounded man who needed assistance and my love.

"Ava, what have you fucking done?" Lilith screamed, and begin throwings stuff at me. It is what revives the reality of my life, and I feel all those surging emotions breaking out of me like a soul leaving the human body, and I become feeble, crashing into a dark wrecking pain I never knew existed.

I cried then, I cried until the medics arrived. I cried as they used the defibrillator against his chest. I cried as they carried him out of the house. I cried as mom arrived at the hospital, and Christian came running in his golf outfit. I cried until I am blue and had no more tears in my exhausted eyes to continue. Then my despair phase slowly begin.