seventeen
ʚĭɞ
TWO DAYS HAVE PASSED, it's now the weekend and I've still had no messages or calls, but I've been distracted by Parker and his maths, I had already planned to go back to his house and help him again, and I would continue to help him until he's got his exams coming in.
The days with Parker weren't bad at all, he had sat under the bleachers with me for lunch, and had even gotten me said lunch, we had studied and then ended up playing some of his video games again...today, I got a few texts from him, but nothing too major.
I was beginning to guess that today was a day to myself when Primrose came up to me as I was taking my anti-depressant, "hey sweetie, would you like to come to the charity shop with Carson and I? I just have to give some old things that we don't need anymore and perhaps others may need" she seemed sweet about it, it almost made me feel bad for avoiding her.
"Yeah, sure," I mutter and head downstairs with her, I watched Carson put some bags of clothes or boxes of old things in the boot of the car, he turns to me and I could see his face darken a little, he didn't look very happy, I just gave him an eye roll and sat in the back seat of the car, phone in hand as I put my headphones on.
Throughout the car ride, I could see Primrose look at me a few times in the mirror, I would have her tight lipped smiles before staring back out the window, I had to pause my music when I could hear Carson singing 'troublemaker by Olly Murs,' and I won't lie, he had a very good singing voice. I watched him enjoy himself and I watched Primrose him, drumming her fingers on the steering wheel as she and her son slightly move to the music, I felt weird, like I was intruding on a mother-son moment so I stayed quiet and played a few games on my phone.
I realised the car stopped and we ended up being parked across the street from the 'heart foundation charity shop,' I helped carry a box over to the shop, I sat the box down next to the cash register where Primrose started speaking to an elderly woman, I smile and just look around the shop. Walking over to some shelves and looking around was interesting to say the least, I found some cool little trinkets that I liked, but what I liked most was the green dinosaur hoodie which had 3D spikes, and a tail, and it seemed my size, I picked it up and looked back at Primrose who went with the woman and Carson to put the boxes in the back.
I went over to check out with the hoodie, a smile on my face as one of the younger woman took my money and gave me the hoodie, I put the change in the money box and knew that I would have to wash it before I wore it.
The vibration from my phone got my attention, it was Parker, but honestly, I wish that it was Marlene and Jayden who have been ghosting me, I felt like Marlene was taking it out on me, the words that Wesley spoke about still made me think but it was none of my business, but still, I also felt like Marlene was trying to defend me, but also started something that Wesley hit right back at her.
It hurts because I have to hold everything inside, nobody cared for what I had to say or tell them, I just bottle them up. It's what I do best, I closed my eyes tightly as I could feel my heartbeat echo throughout my ears, I felt overwhelmed by everything, I felt so alone.
A hand touched my shoulder; the applied pressure made me snap out of it, kept me focused, I looked up and saw Carson who wasn't even looking at me but at what was in my bag, "god, you're still as childish as ever. Don't have one of your episodes here, you'll embarrass us." He mutters, I was quiet, I couldn't really think and I didn't want to embarrass anyone with any of my panic attacks.
He walks me across the road to the car, I felt like I had ruined the day, we stood outside the locked car waiting for his mum. I stood anxiously as he was equally quiet, he glanced at me a few times and would look away if I stared at him, "I'm sorry." I mutter as the wind made me shiver, I didn't have a coat on, and I began to get cold, and I felt little but I managed to push it behind me.
I could feel his stare, I kept my head down as I leaned against the car, the fresh air helped a lot, I didn't feel like I was suffocating anymore. Though, I could tell that the air had definitely changed, I was grabbed by Carson as he pulled me along; away from the car, his hold was slightly more gentle than it previously was.
"Where are we going?" I question as the cold breeze brushed passed us, I frown but stare up confused until I saw an ice cream parlour, I feel like I've seen it before, but I'm not sure why since I'm not from this area. "Ice cream..?"
"An old friend told me that ice cream makes everything better," he stops himself when he noticed my look. I swear that's what I say..perhaps, he had someone who thought like me?
I was about to speak before the older woman behind the counter spoke over me, "what can I get you two?" She smiles kindly, I look to Carson.
"I'll take the biscoff, and he-" he trails off looking at me, I shyly look at the woman. "Vanilla, please with sprinkles." I put my hand on the glass practically bouncing with excitement. I was getting ice cream, I love ice cream, I watched Carson pay for the two cones and I smiled.
I was feeling little again, I got my cone and walked down the street with Carson who was silent, looking at me with a confused expression. I melt a tight grip on my cone, it melted down my hand slightly but I licked at it. The silence was unbearable but I hated the fact I was slipping randomly, I normally did it in my own time. I noticed Carson walking on, I was a little behind him, keeping up I walked in a fast pace and subconsciously put my hand in his.
He tensed, I watched him look down at our hands, I was only holding it because he was too fast for me to keep up with. We finished our ice creams and walked back to the car, he had been tense this whole time. He wouldn't even move his hand, I held onto it and let him drag me back, I smiled up at him making him glare, "what?"
"Thanks for..buying me ice cream." I say and I kept ahold of his weirdly large, warm hand. "It means a lot, can't remember the last time someone bought me ice cream!"
"Don't mention it," he grumbles, I knew he meant it. I wouldn't, I'd keep it to myself. He rips his hand away, "don't touch me again." His attitude changed, "this was a mistake."
He said it to upset me, and he got what he wanted, I frowned keeping the tears at bay once more, a mistake. Mistake, mistake, learn from mistakes.
"I'm sorry that you wasted your money on me, I'm thankful for the ice cream.." I whisper, keeping my tears at bay, I allow him to walk ahead of me, I wouldn't walk with him. I eventually again, look down at my phone, Arlo and Marlene were still avoiding me which wasn't fair.
I had told them about my regression and now when one of their secrets comes out they abandon me? Why is everything so one-sided with me? Why does everyone always do the same shit to me over and over!
I began walking and just stared down at my phone, Rose called out to us, I glanced up and gave a fake smile while Carson was acting as if everything was fine and none of that happened.
How I wish I could do that so easily.
• • •
Authors Note
Very sorry about being late to updating, I'm actually really unwell so I'm free to finally update! Tell me what you think about this chapter and the details on it.
Let me tell you, I cannot wait for when the step-brothers find out about Jayden and become more nicer to him!
I know there hasn't been a lot of age regression but there will be, it's kinda slow burn! Also, yes to answer all the dms I'm probably gonna make Parker his caregiver and his boyfriend, their dynamic will be seen more in later chapters!
Slow updates! But the chapters will keep coming! Please don't ask for me to update I'm very busy with being an 19 year old living her life! Thanks for being very patient and understanding!
Also please go check out my new book 'loving her' it would mean a lot to me if you went and commented on it or even gave it some love and support! Thanks again, guys!
Check out my instagram!
vote, comment & follow!
thanks for reading!
<3
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top