As soon as the sun hides beneath the trees, I climb onto the roof. I am steady with my left hand as I do not want to spill a drop of the Pinot I have in my large glass. I get comfortable in my usual spot and slowly sip as I look to the sky. I have been cowering in my room all afternoon since I have no idea what to say to Ryan the next time I see him. I have a million questions to ask him but I know I need to keep my curiosity away from Austin. Seeing that Ryan dragged me all the way into an unknown part of the woods just to show me a picture on a burner phone speaks clearly that I am not allowed to talk about this to anyone. And I think the kiss is included in the secret.

I just wish the kiss wasn't so fast. It took too long for my brain to register what was happening that I didn't fully get to enjoy it. I have been stealing glances at Ryan for days now and the first time something exciting happens I am too brain dead to relish it.

I glance over my shoulder to Ryan's window but the blinds are still drawn. I want to ask him more about the Carmichaels and his involvement with them, but I don't know where to start. I've been trying to escape Whitney for the past two months and now I am consumed by her. I feel like I may have something to finally destroy her with and I am not allowed to use it. If I was, Ryan would have handed it to me on a silver platter when I mentioned I wanted to blow up their nuptials.

I take another sip and am startled by a noise behind me. I look over my shoulder again and Ryan is sliding the window up. This time, he doesn't ask for permission to join me. He just climbs onto the roof and plops next to me.

"You drink a lot of wine," he says as he notices my glass and I take a sip before saying anything.

"I have a lot of problems," I reply and he raises an eyebrow at me.

"There must be a better solution to them."

I glare at him and respond, "If you have a better solution, I am all ears." He looks to me, lips in a thin line but I can see something stirring behind his eyes. I hold up my glass to him and toast to his silence. I take another drink as he looks off toward the tree line.

"Am I allowed to ask questions now?" I ask him after a few moments of silence and I hear his sharp intake of breath. He looks back to me and answers, "You can ask me one question." My jaw slightly drops, annoyed because my brain is currently throwing dozens of questions at me. Do I ask him about us, about Whitney, about his job? I chew my bottom lip as I determine which question I want to throw at him and his gaze remains on my face. There is something about the way he is looking at me that is making me feel excited and squirmy. Once I've figured my question out, I meet his eyes and decide on, "What do I have to ask to get you to kiss me again?" Suddenly, my heart leaps into my throat because for the first time, I see Ryan's full million-dollar smile. His cheeks flush and he pulls his hand up to cover his bashful grin. I can't help but smile and then I bite my lip to keep my nervous laughter away.

"Yeah, you know I thought about my impulsive move back there and I'm thinking that may have been a one-time thing," Ryan confesses and I shake my head at him.

"Why? Because of Austin?" I ask. "I don't have enough fingers to count all the friends Austin has kissed of mine ya know," I say to Ryan and he gives me a slight shrug.

"I just don't want to give you the wrong idea Sawyer. As soon as we wrap up this Carmichael case we are back to South Carolina. And I don't want to lead-" I wave my hand at him before he can give me the whole, "I just don't want anyone to get hurt speech" and say, "I'm not looking for something serious either. I'm looking to have some fun."

He raises an eyebrow at me as he asks, "Define fun." I'm locked into his green eyes again and I decide to be the impulsive one this time. I reach forward and pull me into him. He didn't ask for my consent the first time, so I don't ask for his now. He doesn't resist and this time, I get to enjoy it. His lips are soft and he quickly puts his hands in my hair. He uses his tongue to spread my lips open and I lean further into him. I hardly know anything about this man but I now know one thing. Ryan is an amazing kisser.

Somehow, my fingers release my wine glass and I don't notice it roll down the roof until it hits the gutter with a ping. The sound pulls me away from Ryan and we both look down the roof. The ping pulled us back to reality but I don't know if I want to remain there.

My hand goes to my mouth and my fingers touch my wet lips. I drop my hand and glance to Ryan while he uses his thumb to trace my lower lip. Hardly louder than I whisper I say, "I'm comfortable around you, which is odd because I hardly know you." He leans into me so his forehead touches mine.

"It's better that way. I can't let you know me. I can't be anything more to you than a friend of your brother." I find his eyes and I can see he's being honest with wanting to keep me at a distance, but he's struggling with it. His hand is lingering on the side of my face, so his thumb sits next to my ear and I lean into it.

"Ryan, my heart is still very much broken. I'm not asking you to be the one to heal it, but maybe you can be the one to help distract me from the pain." He hesitates but something inside of him must egg him on because seconds later he's kissing me again. He pulls me into him and his frantic lips are all over mine. I roll onto my knees and he pulls me forward so I straddle him. My hands rest at his waist and he has one hand in my hair and the other on my back. While I'm kissing him, I feel myself warm up. My mind is taking me places I'm not sure my body is ready for, but I feel myself wanting more. I'm never one to push things further, but once my body catches up with my mind I'm determined. I'm tired of being the girl that waits around and lets others decide her life for her so I make a move. A bold one.

"You know, it's getting kinda cold out here. We can go warm up inside if you want?" I ask Ryan. Dread fills me as I do not know how I will handle being rejected by him. I have never in my life been the one to initiate things and I don't know if I am mentally prepared for an outcome I don't want. We are still breathing heavily and I can see the struggle in Ryan's eyes. I am sure he's listing and weighing the pros and cons but I can't tell which list is filling up faster. I remember Austin telling me that he doesn't indulge in the ladies when they go out in South Carolina so I know he's not one for casual encounters.

I am about to break the horrifying silence when Ryan lightly kisses me. He smiles again and then nods to his window. I nod in agreement and push myself away from him. Once we are both standing, he grabs my hand and leads me to his window. He glances back to me one last time, making sure I want this and after I nod, we both disappear into his room.

*****************

I'm startled awake the next morning by having a minor heart attack. My mother's voice accompanies her knocking, but she's calling to me behind the wrong door. Ryan hears her too and we both bolt up and out of bed. I scramble to find my clothes littered all over the floor and I am panicking that my mother will bust my door open and not find me there. My window is still open so she's going to assume I left out of it and be confused when I enter the house from upstairs later. She knows I hardly ever go back into my window so she'll start asking questions as to where I was and I don't want Austin or her assuming any answers.

I pull my shirt on and push Ryan's window back open. He grabs my arm before I can escape back outside and he kisses me lightly before letting me go. I tiptoe back to my window with my clothing bundled in my arms and dash through the window before my mother busts the door open.

"Oh, you're awake!" My mother says as soon as I am firmly planted back inside my room. I try to catch my breath before answering, "Yep. I'm about to shower up. What's going on? My mother weaves into my room and starts picking up clothing I have strewn across the floor.

"Sawyer Mae, I know we have Celia but you must do a better job with pickin' up after yourself."

"Mother, what do you need? I was literally about to take a shower," I snap, feeling awkward standing in my long shirt and underwear with the memories of last night flashing before me.

"No need to get snappy. I just wanted to remind you of rehearsal tonight. Coordinate with Annabeth but plan on leaving here around 5:30. Austin was going to remind Ryan however, we have yet to see him this morning." She eyes me like I am supposed to elaborate and I wonder how the hell she would have any idea of my shenanigans last night. Her blue eyes bore into my soul and she is searching like hell for confirmation.

"Okay, I'll let Annabeth know," I reply and I march straight into my bathroom. Right as I am about to kick the door shut with my heel, my mother finds me and adds, "Oh and Sawyer?" I look back to her through the sliver between the frame and the door and reply, "Yes?"

"If you don't want Austin knowing about you and Ryan, I suggest you do a better job of sneaking around." I give a slight shake of my head, clearly confused as to what she's talking about and she turns around to leave. As she approaches my bedroom door she says, "Your shirt is on inside out and backwards." I glance down to my tee and curse my mother for being so observant.

As soon as I am in the shower my mind is thrown into overdrive. I begin obsessing over how to deal with seeing Ryan tonight at dance rehearsal. I left in such a rush this morning that I didn't think about how I would feel seeing him later tonight. I've never had a one-night stand and I've certainly never slept with one of Austin's friends before. Butterflies swarm inside my stomach and up to my throat. I don't know if I'm supposed to act exactly the same or if I'll have a big "I slept with Ryan Hart" tattoo on my forehead. I need to gain some composure if I don't want Austin finding out. I then wonder if Ryan will act the same? When I see him, will there still be that spark or will we want to avoid each other like the plague? This is why I never casually hook up. My anxiety doesn't allow me to not pick through every single moment of last night.

I stop wasting so much water and finally turn the handle off once my fingers are completely pruned. I step out of the shower and attempt to mentally prepare myself for tonight.