The next morning, I wake up with a horrid wine hangover and brief fleeting memories of me drunkenly committing to a few high society events. I moan, but I'm not sure if it's because of my headache or the stuffy occasions I know I now have to attend. Why do I get so chatty and committal when I drink?

I force myself out of bed and immediately sneak out my bedroom door and push open Ryan's. His bed is still neatly made and there's no hint of his soapy scent that usually fills the room after he showers. I march down to Austin's room and see his bed is still untouched too. They must have never made it home last night. I stride back into my room and find my phones still tucked away in my clutch with no messages. I decide to try and call Austin but it immediately rolls to voicemail. I then try Ryan and get the same thing.

I hope nothing happened to them yesterday, although how would we know? I wouldn't even know who to contact and I certainly don't think it's a good idea for me to go and storm the police station looking for them- especially if they are supposed to be undercover. I am starting to understand why Ryan said women have a hard time accepting certain aspects of his job. Like not knowing where he is or when he'll be back. I bite my lip wondering if there is any way for me to know if they're alright and my stomach sinks knowing I just have to wait. Surely the captain would call my mother if something went awry?

I shower quickly and throw on jeans and a plum billowy chiffon top not knowing what I am going to do with myself today. Using my fingers, I scoop my hair into a ponytail and right as I am securing the elastic my phone jingles. I drop my hair and I rush over to my vanity. I rip my phone out of my bag and see a number I don't recognize. I immediately answer but am disappointed when I hear a girl's voice on the other end.

"Sawyer? This is Poppy, I got your number from Betty Samuels," she says, feeling the need to explain herself.

"Oh, hi Poppy, how are you?" I politely answer back, trying to shield my disappointment.

"I'm fine, nursing a small hangover." She giggles and then adds, "I was actually calling because you said you were interested in helping with my fundraiser to restore the Wellington House last night."

Confused, I ask, "I did?" I think back and wonder if this is one of the events the alcohol convinced me to help with.

"Yeah, last night, I guess Betty told you she was on the board of the Hollis Historical Society and you mentioned wanting to participate in our next fundraiser which, would actually really help us out. She told me to call you. I'm on the fundraising committee and we think you'd bring in some high donations." I try and think back to talking to Betty about a fundraiser last night but everything's a blur. If my mother hears I went back on a commitment, especially one I made to Mrs. Samuels, I know I'll never hear the end of it and she'll drag me to the event by my earlobe. I decide to make good on my promise.

"Oh! Yes, now I remember. Sorry about that- my memory is a bit foggy from last night." I hear her giggle again.

"Yes, I'm afraid you're not the only one. Well, if it's alright I'll send a formal invitation over to your house and fill you in on the rest of the details closer to Saturday."

"The event is this upcoming Saturday?" I ask and she replies, "Mmhmm, don't worry, I'm sure you have some kind of fancy dress laying around and if not, I'll let ya borrow one. All we need you to do is show up. Talk to you soon Sawyer." The line goes dead and I seriously try to remember anything she told me about this event. I briefly remember Betty telling me that they were trying to restore the outside of the Civil War monument, but I don't remember me committing to participate in the fundraiser. Hopefully, all I'll have to do is write a nice check, drink wine and be on my merry way. That, and I hope I can convince Ryan to let me come back to Hollis from wherever I'll be next.

I toss the phone on my bed and my head snaps toward the direction of the front door when I hear it open. I fly out of my room just in time to see Austin's bright blonde head coming into the foyer. Over the banister, I look to him and ask, "Where's Ryan?" Austin finds me standing at the top of the staircase and I can now see the dark bags under his eyes- he must not have slept last night.

"Well nice to see you too, Sawyer," he says flatly and I round the banister. As I descend down the curved staircase, I reply, "Sorry, Austin. It's nice to see you, finally but I've been worried about you two all night." I meet him in the middle of the foyer and his blonde hair is slightly disheveled and his puffy blue eyes give away how tired he is. He stuffs his hands into his dark jacket pockets and looks to the ground before asking, "Wanna take a walk?" I look to him, completely thrown off by the question and my heart tightens like a fist in my chest. Austin never wants to walk and chat with me.

"Did something happen to Ryan? Is he okay?" I ask again, feeling the worry rise from my stomach to my throat.

Austin nods, "Yes, Ryan is fine," but then he shakes his head, "Let's just go take a walk." He starts toward the front door and I slip into my Uggs that are sitting by the entryway. I follow Austin down the front staircase and he doesn't wait for me to catch him until we are on the long dirt road. He takes the path that leads past Gus's house but he doesn't say anything until we are past our property line.

"I gotta talk to you about Ryan, Sawyer," he says cryptically and I glance to him as we walk in step along the road.

"Okay, about what? You are scaring me Austin, why are you being weird?" I ask him and he shakes his head again.

"I'm not trying to scare you; I just know Ryan is going to be pissed if he finds out I talked to you. But first, I'm gonna say I am looking out for both of you." I stop walking and cross my arms in annoyance. Austin stops, looks at my defiance and rolls his eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me Austin, what is it you have to say? What now?" He turns to face me and takes his hands out of his pockets.

"We caught Simon last night."

"You did?" I ask, stunned that it's taken him this long to tell me the good news.

"Yeah, you were right when you said everyone was attending the grand opening, including the Hemmings," he explains. "Simon saw the empty house as his perfect opportunity to break into the carriage house and we caught him with the drugs sneaking back into the woods. We've been at the station filling out paperwork all night." He seems very businesslike with me and the way his tone is, implies that catching Simon is not the news he was taking me on a walk for.

"Okay that's great! I can come home now. This whole Carmichael stuff can finally be laid to rest, I can move on."

"That's the part I needed to talk to you about," Austin says and then purses his lips. He tilts his head toward the road and continues to walk down the path. I follow him and he then asks, "Do you know how good Ryan is at his job?" I glance to him and give him a slight shake of my head.

He nods, "Figures, it's not like Ryan is one to brag about it. But Sawyer, Ryan is a damn good agent. I wouldn't be surprised at all of the C.I.A recruits him." My eyes flit to Austin and he knows I had no idea. He continues walking and says, "Ryan is smart and stealthy and he knows how to get the job done. That and he's never once been distracted until...well until he met you Sawyer." My arms are still crossed and my breathing is growing heavy from walking. I shake my head, "You can't blame that on me. I try and stay out of his job." It's now Austin that stops walking and he spins around to face me.

"I know you try Sawyer, but it's impossible. Ryan has worked hard to get where he is. You have no idea what training was like or how difficult our cases can be. He's good at what he does because he doesn't let anything get in the way."

"So, you're trying to tell me that I'm getting in the way of Ryan doing his job? How? I haven't even been in the same city as him these past few weeks," I snap getting aggravated that my big brother is trying to tell me to back off. He stuffs his hands irritably back into his pockets and snaps back, "It's not then, it's now. Ryan is trying to leave his position as an undercover agent and get a sissy desk job! And I know there is only one reason he'd want to do that and it's because he can do it from anywhere." I snap my mouth shut completely at a loss for words. I had no idea Ryan would give up the gritty work for a safe desk job so he could be close to me. I glare at Austin.

"I never asked him that. I would never ask him to do that."

"But he'll do it for you. I see how he is with you and I can tell he's completely...I don't know infatuated. He's put you on some damn pedestal," he mutters like he can't believe any guy would ever think of me in that way. "I know he's going to try and make things work with you but at what cost? Sawyer, you know mother will never allow you to marry Ryan. It's not going to happen, so spare the man the trouble and end things before you ruin everything for him." My eyes go wide and my hands are shaking. I can't believe Austin is saying these things to me.

"You really think I'm ruining Ryan's life? Maybe I'm showing him another side to it. He can be an agent and still be someone's boyfriend."

Austin shakes his head, "Not yours. Your life is here Sawyer, and he knows it. You can have any guy in Hollis and I know mother already has a list of eligible bachelors she can set you up with. You don't need Ryan. You need to let him go so when we get our orders to ship back to South Carolina, he won't fight it." He is pointing his finger at me and I can tell he's angry about the situation. "Sawyer, I have known Ryan a long time. He and I have literally lived through life and death situations and I think of him as a brother. I promise you, I know the man more than you do and I worry what will happen to his mindset if he leaves his job for a woman." I have no idea what to say. My mind is racing with all of the horrible names I want to throw at him but I remain silent while I seethe. I shake my head with my hands clenched into fists.

"Ryan is a big boy, Austin. Let him make his own decisions." I spin on my heel and stride back to the house not once looking back to see where is Austin is.

It isn't until I get back to my room that I realize everything Austin said to me, I already knew. I pace up and down the length of the bed trying to get my hands to stop shaking. I knew deep down I'd either have to move to South Carolina, completely out of my comfort zone or he'd have to move here and lose his position as a special agent. I knew it, but I refused to let my thoughts linger on it because I was so happy with him. I could have made South Carolina work, but my mother would have never accepted it and would have most likely cut me off. Ryan certainly wouldn't be able to support the both of us and it would just create a hardship on him while I figured out some sort of career path. That and would I really leave my friends, family and upbringing behind to possibly have it all blow up in my face later?

There's not a hundred percent guarantee Ryan and I would work out, hell we've only been dating for a such short while. These are huge hurdles for a blossoming romance. My heart knows I am in love with him, but my head is saying at what cost? Can I really ask Ryan to give up his position just to see if we have a real shot?

I know I already know the answer to my own question. I'd never ask Ryan to leave his job or South Carolina. Austin already told me Ryan is willing to chance it, but I can't let him. I know what I have to do. My chin is already quivering as I feel my heart split open. I have to break up with Ryan.