I don't know when
And I sure don't know why
I started seeing pain as a casualty.
Even without a blade,
Even without a razor,
My pain is a casualty.

"Life is pain"
I know that's true
But much of mine is self induced.

So I draw a scratch,
Just a casualty.
Skip a meal,
Just a casualty.
Freezing by choice,
Just a casualty.
Pinch my thigh,
Just a casualty.
Burning hot shower?
Another casualty.
Why am I this way?
Why do I see myself this way?
Why do I hate my body,
My face, my laugh, my eyes?
Why do I love my mind
For hating everything about me?
For telling me I'm never enough?
I'm trying so hard to love me
But despite it all
I'm just a casualty.

I don't know when
And I hardly know why
I stopped feeling that people love me.
Even with their friendship,
Even with their conversation,
"They don't love me."

"Love is a strong word"
I know that's true.
But I never feel that it means "love"

So I draw a scratch,
Just a casualty.
Skip a meal,
Just a casualty.
Freezing by choice,
Just a casualty.
Pinch my thigh,
Just a casualty.
Burning hot shower?
Another casualty.
Why am I this way?
Why do I see myself this way?
Why do I hate my body,
My face, my laugh, my eyes?
Why do I love my mind
For hating everything about me?
For telling me I'm never enough?
I'm trying so hard to love me
But despite it all
I'm just a casualty.

Does anyone care?
Am I crying for no reason?
My pain leaks tear by tear
I've suppressed it so long
Why can't I cry properly?
Why can't I scream?
Why can't I sob?
Why won't I let myself break down?
Just for ten minutes
It'd help a lot
Does anyone care?
Do I even care..?

How long will I consider a scratch,
Just a casualty.
Skip a meal,
Just a casualty.
Freezing by choice,
Just a casualty.
Pinch my thigh,
Just a casualty.
Burning hot shower?
Another casualty.
Why am I this way?
Why do I see myself this way?
Why do I hate my body,
My face, my laugh, my eyes?
How long will I love my mind
For hating everything about me?
For telling me I'm never enough?
I'm trying so hard to love me
So how long will I remain to myself
As "just a casualty"?