By the time I got to dad's Mikasa was just walking up to the house. We both went in and she grabbed some stuff to bring over. Little by little we were moving her stuff. The more we did this the more and more she was finally willing to take. I think she was starting to realize that she can't keep everything here forever. Before we left we had gone through some more of the contents of the house. Mikasa was more open to getting rid of some things today. With time comes progress.

"Okay, I'm ready," she said after finishing her bag to take to my house.

"You got everything, toothbrush, hairbrush, what about socks?" I asked walking in her room to help her grab some of the bags we were taking over that didn't contain her stuff for tonight and school tomorrow.

"Yes," she groaned and rolled her eyes.

"I was just checking no need for the attitude," I joke as we take her stuff out to the car.

"Yeah checking for the 5th time," she laughed.

"Okay, it's better to be a little annoying and prepared than me being quiet and then we have to drive to the store in the middle of the night to get a toothbrush," I raised my eyebrow with a smug grin.

"That was one time!"

"Three times actually."

"Why did you keep count?" She groaned.

"So I could throw it back in your face," I laughed as I loaded the stuff into my car. We got in and headed to my apartment. Mikasa hooked her music up to my car and we sang horribly along as we made our way home. Well, I sang horribly, Mikasa is actually pretty good.

We got home and collapsed on the couch. "So how was your date last night," she asked and I felt my cheeks heat up remembering the kiss.

"It was amazing," I said holding my tongue. I didn't want to just start blubbering about my day unless she wanted to hear it.

"Well, are you going to tell me about it or what?" There it goes.

"Well if you insist," I said turning towards her and pulling my legs up on the couch. "So we started off going to dinner and we had the time of our lives so much so we didn't want to date to end there so we-."

"Wait a minute, please know I don't want to know about anything sexual," she cut me off.

"It's not, I promise," I laughed before clearing my throat. "So we didn't want the date to end and I asked if he wanted to catch a movie so we caught a movie. He held my hand the whole show and I swear I couldn't focus on the movie because he's just so great."

"Wow so you didn't even get a kiss," she laughed.

"Yes, I did. I dropped him off at home, but before he got out of the car he kissed me," I said and she gave me a smile.

"Nice," she smiled back, "I'm glad you're more of a gentleman because anyone else would be in the bedroom rather than in a movie theater. It's nice to show you care about a person and who they are rather than how they are in bed."

"Did I ever tell you that you're the best sister anyone could have?"

"Damn right I am," she laughed.

"Anyway's how was school?" I asked waiting to hear from her.

After she told me a little about her day. She told me how her English teacher was being really nice and let them all study rather than assigning more work. She told me about how she forgot her lunch at home this morning and then she paused before looking up at me.

"Actually, do you have any food? I'm starving." She got up and walked over to the fridge.

"How about we go out to eat?" I asked remembering we were supposed to talk about my feelings. Anything to get out of that.

"Sure what are you thinking?" She asked and I just shrugged.

"Whatever you want I'm celebrating having a great sister," I smiled sheepishly and she rolled her eyes.

"Okay, and when we get home just know I won't let you procrastinate anymore," she smiled calling me out.

"I don't know what you're-."

She raised her eyebrow, "mhhmm, sure."

"Busted."

We headed out anyway and got some food. I took my time eating. It was obvious to anyone that I was dragging this out, but you can only procrastinate so long. I tried so hard to drag this out as long as I could but even with Mikasa sitting there with a smug smile watching me eat my food at a snail's pace I couldn't drag it out long enough.

When I finally finished my food we headed home. I had half a mind to make a few pit stops, but I know that wouldn't do me much good. Besides, Mikasa had a bunch of homework she still had to catch up on and I was waiting her time to work. I finally decided to own up to my promise and I headed straight home, and I actually went the speed limit rather than 20 below it.

When we got home I got comfortable on the couch and waited for my torment to begin. The sooner we start this the sooner it ends. "Are you done procrastinating?" She asked sitting down next to me.

"Yeah, let's get this over with," I sighed. I don't know why I agreed to do this in the first place.

"Well, are you going to tell me how you've been feeling," She asked getting more serious. I, on the other hand, wasn't ready to be serious. I knew I had to, but I'm bad when it comes to talking about my feelings.

"You can't just ask that right out," I rolled my eyes.

"Well, what should I do?" She crossed her arms waiting for me to give her a better idea.

"I don't know?" I sighed and finally started being serious. "Honestly, I don't know what I'm feeling," I sighed. I mean the usual feelings I guess of losing someone but how do I describe that? How do I describe the other stuff too?

"Well if you don't know what you're feeling what are you thinking?" She asked. Damn, she sounds like a therapist. 

"I've just been thinking how it's hard to wrap my head around it. I mean I just talked to him a little over a week ago and now... well, now I won't be able to talk to him ever again.

"You can still talk to him, remember what you told me?" She said.

"I know, but it's not the same. It will never be the same. I know there's nothing I can do to bring him back and I've come to terms with that. What I haven't come to terms with is how I never got to say goodbye. How our last conversation, I was in such a rush to get off the phone he said I love you and I didn't say it back. I didn't even say goodbye I just hung up. I can never make that right." I silenced myself as my voice quivered and tears fell from my eyes.

This is what I didn't want. I didn't want to just talk to her and tell her all my problems. She didn't need this. She needed to grief she didn't need my grief too.

"He knew you loved him," her voice cut through my swirling thoughts. "You realize he didn't think you hanging up was rude, I was there. You were heading into work. He turned to me after the call and told me how proud he was. He has always been so proud of you nothing changed that."

I didn't even think that she might have known about the call but here she was telling me stuff I didn't even know. Wait, "He what?" I asked my voice cracking as I looked up to her.

"He is proud of you," she repeated herself.

I just sat there not really knowing what to say. All my life I thought of myself as the disappointment. I was the black sheep of the family. I was the gay one who had no special talents. I never thought he was proud of me. He was an amazing doctor and I was a college dropout who was nothing but a receptionist. My grades were barely passing. If he should be proud of anyone it should be Mikasa. She's been an A student since she started school. She talented in almost everything she does. I'm below average and she is just slightly below perfect.

"We both are." I heard her say after a moment of silence. That's when it hit me. She really looks up to me. I have no idea why she would, but for her, I have to be a good role model.

I didn't know what to say back so I just did the only thing I could think of to express what emotion I was feeling now. I pulled her close into a giant bearhug. "I love you," I told her placing a kiss on her forehead. "Best sister ever."

"Best brother ever, you never forget that." She said almost correcting me telling me this is what I was whether I believed it or not that's what I would be to her.