[A/N: hi! please play the song up^^ for better experience!]

Park Seonghwa

My heart dropped the second I witnessed a car vigorously hit Yeosang to the ground. It was in front of my own eyes and I could not fully process what happened. It occurred so fast. In a blink of an eye, my husband was already unconscious.

The sight made me drop my cups of coffee, I could care less if the heated substance stained my white pair of shoes. All I could focus was Yeosang's lifeless body on the concrete floor, blood all over his head and newly seen bruises plastered his skin. 

Cars and other vehicles stopped their pace, drivers exiting their cars to see the accident. Students and people walking by were huddled, series of gasps and gossiping were heard; talking about the sudden accident. 

I felt it.

The first tear just strolled down from my eye. 

"Yeosang!" 

I cried loud, making my way to the middle of the road. I carried him into my arms, shaking him for any response -- but there was none. No sign of breathing, his skin was turning pale, and his body was so frail.

"No! Sangie baby, please wake up for me. I can't lose you this time! Please!" My voice was barely a whisper, and cracked in the end. 

I hugged him tighter; not giving a fuck if his blood stained my clothes. The overflowing tears were so apparent, I feel like I'm going to faint. I may not be in his shoes, but seeing him in this state made me so weak and fragile.

What made me mad was people staring at us without making any move, "Why the fuck are you watching us? Call the goddamn ambulance! For fuck sake!"

When I screamed, or rather scolded them, for help; they immediately stepped back, probably an instinct since I growled at them.

Mingi was still frozen on his spot, trying to comprehend but quick to follow. He took out his phone and dialed 911. I internally thanked him for that. 

"Oh my god! What happened?!"

San and Wooyoung approached us. My best friend was quick to lift Yeosang's head and check his pulse. Wooyoung, on the other hand, was shaking and would occasionally look away since he can't handle seeing Yeosang in this state. 

San had his eyes widen as he looked at me, "We have to hurry! His pulse is rapidly beating. We have to take him to the hospital now! He might die any time sooner!" 

With the pressure that has been set on us, I begged and prayed to heavens that the ambulance will come soon. Yeosang's body were in my arms that were vigorously shaking. I've never felt this anxious before. I'm so scared for him.

I'm so scared that he'd die in my arms.

"Please Sangie, keep up. Stay for me...stay awake for me."

I'm afraid.

I don't want to be perceived at weak.

But when it comes to the people I mostly care about?

I'd break.

"The ambulance are coming!" Mingi yelled for us to get the message. 

San nodded and stepped back along with Wooyoung. Police officers had appeared and placed down some caution tapes around the crime scene. 

One of the police investigators came to me and said, "Sir, you have to step back--"

"No!" I instantly yelled back, "I need to stay with him! He needs me!"

"But sir, the paramedics will arrive sooner. You have to stay calm--"

"I don't care! If I say I will stay with him, I'll stay!"

I'm losing my patience. I'm going insane. I am stubborn, I know.

I cupped Yeosang's cheeks, examining his facial features that were mostly covered with scratches and purple-tinted bruises.

Then my mind is telling me to check his hip. So I did, and was surprised to see the signature mark glitching once again. Why the fuck is it glitching again?

I stayed until where the paramedics finally arrived. Before going with them, I told Mingi, San, and the police officers to interrogate the driver who hit my husband. After that, I immediately went inside the ambulance truck.

I was holding his hand. It felt like deja vu seeing Yeosang unconscious and with an oxygen mask. It felt like I was in the same situation in where I was holding Lia's hand before her death. Flashbacks ran over my mind, and it made me shed another tear.

I began to hate myself.

I am at fault. I am always at fault. I am the reason why Yeosang is suffering. He never deserved this. He doesn't deserve me at all...

We finally arrived at the hospital, Yeosang with his cart were immediately taken to the operation room. 

We were running and running. I was so tired. --

When the nurses entered the room, I tried to invite myself in but the other interns were forcing me back to the waiting area.

"Sir, you cannot enter. Please wait outside."

I was pissed, "You don't understand. I need to get inside--"

I attempted again, but the interns were too strong on pushing me away from the operation room.

"I'm sorry, sir. You have to wait outside! It's strictly prohibited to enter the room--"

"No! I have to be by his side! He's my husband!" I raised my voice intentionally. I did not care if I was making a scene. I just want to see if Yeosang is doing fine.

"Family member or not, I'm sorry. You can't go in." 

"But I need to! He's dying for fuck sake! I haven't tell him how much he means to me! He needs to know that..." My knees gave up, voice barely emitting any sound, "he needs to know that..." I can't even say it. It hurts me so much to know that my baby is always in pain.

God, help us. 

I cried into their arms. One of them was caressing my back to calm me down. I hate crying, I had to cover my face because I can't bare it anymore.

"He's always so strong but always in pain..." 

And so selfless...

I can't even describe how selfless Yeosang is. He married me, he loved me, he saved me. Here am I, crying over him because I can't even save him from that accident. I was terrified.

"He will make it. Have faith, sir." One of the interns, a woman with long-grey hair, gave a smile of assurance. "Now, we want you to wait outside and let us do the rest..." 

How can I have faith when this happens every time? 

In the end, I just watched Yeosang through the window. The heart monitor showing his vital signs, and a lot of AED pacemakers were attached onto his chest.

I leaned my head on the glassed window, watching my Sangie from afar. My hands rubbing my own shoulders for warmth. How could he be this brave?

It's been several minutes. Waiting was so hard and mentally painful. I feel extremely anxious. I am almost this close to losing hope.

"Yeosang, you're scaring me. Please! I am so sorry! I know I haven't been the best husband to you. I know I promised you that I'd be a better person for you. Don't go yet...Please survive, baby. I missed you."

"Doc, the patient is going into cardiac arrest..."

The sounds of the alarming heart monitor was fast, showing his vital signs that were in a straight line. I was panicking and shaking. I almost lost control to the point I look like a mental person in the asylum.

They are losing him...

I went my way to the door of the operation room, knocking it and trying to unlock the door itself, "Yeosang?! No...no...no. You can't do this! Let me in!" I was so desperate to see him. He needs me right now. This can't be happening.

One of the interns, the same grey-haired lady, pulled me back again, "Sir, you have to calm down. You are creating a scene!"

I can't even scream right now. I was losing my sanity. It's so scary...so so scary.

I glanced at the window once again. Yeosang's condition was critical. I can't bare to watch the scene. All I could do was just pray...

"Sangie, remember when we were kids? I always noticed you but you were there distancing yourself away from me so I can be with Lia. That day, you were already important to me. I felt that connection between us, I knew it was you. Yet I was blinded by the words of my Mother. I'm so sorry, Yeosang."

"Doc, we are losing him..."

"Remember the time at Grandma's house? You comforted me when I was still getting over Lia and her death? I heard you promising me that you'll make me happy, right? You are already my source of happiness. You promised that we'll create the best moments in our lives together. What will I do if I lose you, Yeosang?"

"CPR...Charge..." The doctor placed the paddles of the defibrillator that was set on Yeosang's chest, "Clear..." activating it to get his heart beating again.

"Baby, you've made me realize that you are the one that I wanted in my life. Remember when San tried to court you? I was so fucking jealous to the point I made a fool out of myself. You never knew how happy I was when you told me you liked me back. I regret not telling you sooner."

"No response. Again."

"Yeosang, please come back to me. I'm sorry...I failed as a husband. I failed to protect you. I failed to become the better person you asked for. I failed you, Yeosang."

"Time of death: 5:22 p.m."

My heart dropped. My breathing went shallow. I felt like a part of me just died when I heard what the doctor said.

I continued to stare through the window with my mouth open and letting my new set of tears fall. 

The doctor and nurses went out of the operation room, all have a guilty frown on their faces.

"I'm sorry. We did everything we can but--"

"Bullshit!" 

I cussed as I glared at them for not even saving my only soulmate. I immediately went invite myself in the room to see Yeosang. 

One of the nurses held my arm, "Sir, you can't go in--"

"Don't touch me! You have no right to forbid me from seeing him when you can't even save him!"

Fury and guilt were the only things I felt.

"It's not allow, sir. I'm sorry." 

The nurses tried to pull me away from the room. They succeeded because I can't even fight back anymore. I was too caught up with my own emotions. I was so tired.

Yeosang is dead.

And it is all my fault.

"I didn't even fulfill the promise." 

It was all I could whisper, bursting my tears as I can't take it anymore.

"Yeosang...I'm so sorry...I didn't even have the chance to tell you that I..."

"I love you."

"What a miracle!"

I looked up at one nurse who was flabbergasted. Everyone's eyes were on him as we were anticipating on what he will say.

"His heart is beating again. He's stable!"

----

did i scare you? or did i make you cry? i hope i did :))

but wait--there's more...it's not the end. hihihi