Dark Horse/Et - Jonathan Young (Also, if you have 8tracks, I have a Billdip playlist called "A Nihilistic Demon and A 12 Year Old")

"For fucks sake, Pacifica. She'll want to get it on with you in like.. I don't know? Ten minutes? You look hot as hell." Bill slid a chair over and spun it around, sitting on it backwards facing the blonde in front of him.

"Ten minutes sure doesn't sound like drop dead gorgeous." Pacifica stared in the three way mirror. She was trying on outfit after outfit, searching for the best thing to wear to a date.

"Fuck, Northwest. How's ten seconds sound? That girl asked you out, she already wants to get it on." They'd been sitting here for the past hour and a half, and despite the great fashion sense he had, Bill was barely helping. Snarky comments and that constant insincerity in his voice never really seals a deal for a self-conscious mind.

"Do you really think she'll like this..?" She spun in the purple dress she donned.

He stared up at the clock. "I don't think she'll care as long as you show up. Speaking of, you've got a half an hour to get to the restaurant, so speed it up."

"Fuck!" Pacifica looked at the clock and fumed. "Why didn't you tell me we were running out of time?!"

"You can read a clock, can't you?" She just glared, both of their blue eyes just stared, one pair frustrated, the other amused.

"Why do I go to you for help ever?" She shoved away from the body length mirror and picked up a hairbrush.

"Because every girl needs a gay guy to pick out their clothes." His sarcasm rang again. "Especially since you're a lesbian. Isn't there a stereotype that you're all butch as hell. You're doing a damn bad job at that."

The two argued on the next half an hour while Pacifica did her hair and make up, and rushed out the door of the manor. Bill drove, speeding slightly down the old winding roads of the town. Dipper was doing the same thing on the other side of town.

"Aren't you usually a careful driver?" Mabel inquired as Dipper sped down the road, not even slowing at a yellow light as he usually would.

"Extremely, Mabel. Extremely." He glanced at the time. There was stress lining his words. "But I don't want to be blamed for you not getting your girl. I'd never hear the end of it. Wait.. If you do get with Pacifica, I'll never hear the end of that, either."

"Oh come on, I don't talk about romance that much!" Dipper scoffed and Mabel giggled. "Who am I kidding? Romance is the only thing I talk about."

"No kidding." Dipper signaled left and pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant. As he parked, he looked over at his sister. "Just.. remember to be yourself, okay?"

"There's no one I'd rather be!" Mabel grinned and hopped out, he followed. They walked across the gravel until Mabel caught the attention of a purple-clad blonde standing next to a man. "Pacifica!"

Bill smirked and pulled the door open for the two girls as they talked endlessly. Dipper stopped at the front of the eatery, looking at the man as he dropped his hold on the doorknob.

"You're her brother?" Bill motioned to Mabel, who was already gone from sight with her date.

"I'm her twin." Dipper searched the window for his sister. Though she was about twenty-one and a half now, he was still protective of her like she was still twelve.

"Hm.." Bill leaned on the wall. He was seemingly staring at the boy in front of him, not that Dipper could tell, his eyes were hunting for his sister. "I didn't know one twin came automatically hotter."

Dipper almost gave himself whiplash from how fast his head turned. He immediately got defensive, even though there was no way in hell he could fight anyone, let alone an intimidating guy he just met. "If you can't tell, my sister's taken. So you lay off of her or so help me-"

"I was talking about you. Dumbass." Bill hissed. The brunette stood in dumbfounded awkwardness. Bill pushed himself off the wall and held his hand out. "Name's Bill Cipher."

Dipper just looked at the gloved hand outstretched in front of him. He scanned him up and down. "You're dressed up awfully fancy for someone who's just here to drop off a girl to a date."

"Nice to meet you too." He spat, moving his hand away. "And what's the matter? I can't look intimidatingly good just for the hell of it?"

Dipper sighed. "My name's Dipper."

Bill bit his lip to fight back laughter. "What kind of name is that?" He smirked and said it, laughing as he listened to himself utter the syllables. "I'm just going to call you Pine Tree. It's somehow less embarrassing."

"You're an absolute ass, you know that?" Dipper wanted to leave, but that seemed like an entirely rude thing to do, even if the person he was talking to was already on bad terms with him. He leaned against the cement wall next to the blonde. They faced nothing but a parking lot, and behind that, trees.

"It's what I do best." His grin dripped with the same snakiness as his words, cunning and snarky. The two already despised each other, and it had only been about five minutes. Bill pulled out a small white box and pulled out a cigarette, placing it between his lips. He lit the cigarette and eyed the brunette. "So. You just gonna stand around here and stalk your sister or are you gonna leave?"

"Ironic, you're doing the same thing." Dipper waved smoke from his vicinity. "What are you, Pacifica's brother or something?"

"I'm a friend." Bill closed his eyes and leaned against the wall again. The sun was setting and the glow fixtures that hung from the restaurant awning became their source of light. In the dimmer setting, Bill somehow managed too look even more attractive, but dripping in a bitter edginess still.

"Hm. I didn't think a person like you would have any friends." Bill snapped in Dipper's direction. His hands pushed against the wall beside Dipper's head, above his shoulders. The blonde stood with his face so close to the other that they were almost both smoking the cigarette. He glared and a sort of uneasiness filled Dipper's lungs, a form that somehow asked for intimacy.

"Listen kid, I don't know what stick you've got up your ass," he balanced the cigarette between his moving lips. "But I don't like it."

"Then maybe you can pull it out when you kiss my ass." This dumbfounded Bill. The sudden retort of the shorter man seemed to hit him like a truck.

"Oh shit." He smirked and cocked his head. "I'd be down for that, if you are." He was so close, the smoke that overflowed from the cigarette became the air Dipper breathed, and the blush on the brunette's face matched the hue of the setting sun.

Mabel wasn't expecting, as she ran from the restaurant in a rushed worry. She prayed that her brother was still out there. Upon realizing she had left her phone in Dipper's car, she excused herself from Pacifica's attention for a moment, hurrying to the outside. She pushed the glass door open. She could clearly see Dipper's car, and turned her head to find the driver himself.
P
Pinned against the wall, Dipper's eyes were closed in an intensely intimate kiss, the blond stood above him with a cigarette squeezed between his fingers and his entire body arching to make the kiss as easy to reach for the shorter of the two. The blush on Dipper's face seemed to radiate as Bill made out with him, and Mabel had no clue what to say. She stood there for a moment, before gagging silently and deciding to just walk to the still unlocked vehicle she arrived in, opening the door and taking her phone from the front seat.

Bill pulled away after minutes of kissing, minutes that felt like years, minutes that Dipper wished were years. Dipper opened his eyes slowly, staring into the shining and enigmatic eyes in front of him. He blushed furiously, but Bill only smirked, proud and happy. It took Dipper a moment to notice his twin as she walked back from the parking lot, a little laugh leaving her mouth. As she walked past her insanely embarrassed brother, she grinned.

"It looks like I'm not the only one getting a date tonight, huh?" She jeered, and reentered the building, the door closing off any further conversation.