Kazumi's POV

I sat on the edge of the fountain silently, closing my eyes. The cold wind brushed against my skin, and I puffed out smoke, slightly regretting my choice of coming to the park in the middle of the night.
But even then, I have some important business here...

Light footsteps from behind me snapped me out of my daze. The flickering lights from the streetlights glared at me as I averted my gaze to the full moon. "I didn't think that you would actually come," I said in a low tone, gazing at my hands as I rubbed them together to provide some sort of warmth. "I was about to say 'This is convenient' but then I remembered what you did."

I heard a scoff coming from the person. "Care to tell me what I did exactly?" The sound of shoes making contact with the floor resurfaced and I shook my head, my eyes narrowing. "You got the nerve calling me out here at this hour. I'm a busy teen, you know?"

"If you're so busy, then you should've stayed at home," I spat, turning to look at the figure hidden under a tree. "Tachibana Mitsuko."

The silhouette came out of the shadows, and for once, I didn't care about the freezing air. Her orange hair waved as the wind blew, her golden eyes staring at me with a hint of amusement. "Oh? I'm genuinely surprised that you know me. I can't say the same to you though."

I clicked my tongue, trying to hide my aggravation. "Need not to know. I'm fine with being unknown."

A smug smirk appeared on her face and she rearranged her hair clips. "Hmmm, I don't think so. You should've tried harder to mask your identity if you're fine with being nameless."

I stifled a curse as I took deep breaths. I want to shout out that being fine with being anonymous doesn't mean that I have to be one, but I held back the urge. Calm down, remember your purpose for coming here.

"Let's cut to the chase," I declared.

"Changing the topic, aren't we?"

She let out a snort when I shot her a glower. "Can't you keep your foul mouth in control?" I snapped. Her lips parted as her eyes widened, but she immediately regained her composture. "Getting feisty, I see. Too bad, no can do, my dear."

"I'm giving you one more chance to shut the hell up." I stood up and flipped my hair, my left hand stretched out in front of me. The silver gem attached to my ring emitted a grayish glow as I stared at her. "I'm not planning on fighting you, but-" I took a step towards her, my voice lacing with venom, "-if you insist on acting rascally, then I don't mind breaking a few bones. You've got 206 of those anyway."

No one dared to speak after, and we just stared into each other's eyes. It took a moment of silence before I sighed, speaking in an exhausted tone, "Look," I lowered my hand and crossed my arms, "All I'm asking for is your cooperation."
The glow of the ring dissipated, and I saw her shoulders relax.

She raised an eyebrow. "You still haven't answered my question."

"Haruna Yūka. The name is familiar, yes?"

"What about her?" she asked, bemused.

"Why did you drag her into this mess?"

She was taken aback by my question. "Mess? Care to elaborate?"

"Ah." I gazed at the water spouting from the fountain. "Have you ever heard of the phrase curiosity kills the cat?"

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Yeah, but I don't see the connection."

I ignored her response and smirked. "The state of being curious is dangerous, you know. Most of the times, a certain circumstance got nothing to do with a person really, but because of inquisitiveness, they end up learning more than they should. Thus, ends up raising their own death flag."

Mitsuko looked at me as I spoke. Her expression turned to that of bewilderment, and she yelled, cutting me off. "Are you just playing with me?!" My smirk stayed and I gave her a closed eyed smile. Oh, how the tables have turned. "Maybe. Who knows?"

She stomped her foot as she turned around. "I'm out. It seems that you're just going to be secretive and waste my time here." I stifled a laugh. Me? Secretive? Is she not aware of her own self? "You're leaving? I guess I could give you a small hint. Just a few though," I teased, and she glanced at me from over her shoulder, stopping in her tracks. "We are very diffirent from what most people perceive us to be. It'll only be a matter of time before someone innocent gets involved, fueled by their instincts, only to have their time stolen away from them."

After my speech, she walked away. I was left alone in the cold, but I wasn't bothered. My eyes looked straight ahead, taking a gander at the spot where Mitsuko was standing earlier. "Use your brain. It's not complicated—it's actually the opposite. It's so simple that if you just stopped and thought about it, you would've figured it in seconds. Prove to me that you're not who I think you are..."

***

I slammed the door of my locker as I rushed back to the classroom. Great, I missed a lot of tests and stuff when I was gone. And it's just a single day for God's sake! My schedule will be cramped and I won't have time to enjoy my free time. Heck, I doubt that I would have the said time. The moment I step inside the house, I'll get bombarded with orders and it would be endless!

"Stupid little-"

"Woah, woah, woah. Early in the morning and you're already swearing?"

My eyes saw a pair of orange ones. I snorted, flashing Hadzuki a look that says 'You're the same.' "First of all, that ryhmed. Second of all, what I was about to say would be a lot worse than the word stupid. And third of all, I'm stressed af so I'm obviously in a bad mood."

Hadzuki looked at me with sleepy eyes. "Yeah, I don't give a damn. Anyway, you missed a lot dude," she said slowly, as if speaking her first words. I scoffed and slammed my books on my desk. "Tell me something I don't know."

Hideo popped in front of me, making me jump. "Haru's gay."

Haru, who's talking with the others by the teacher's table, snapped his head towards us. I only rolled my eyes as I breathed out a response. "I said something I don't know." I slumped on my chair as I saw Haru come rushing towards us from the corner of my eye. My eyelids kept on closing but I tried to keep them up.

"What the hell, Kazumi?! I hate you!" A sharp pain on my arm made me shriek. I gazed up at Haru. "Huh? The hell did I do?" I raised my voice, my eyebrows furrowing.

"I'm not gay! Where did that even come from?" He complained, stressing the words 'not gay'. His lips arched downward, his eyes piercing glares at me. Ahh, just the reaction I needed. A smug smile crept its way to my face. "Don't worry, Haru. We all know that you're gay deep inside. Don't be afraid to be true to yourself. We'll accept you."

His jaw dropped, eyes widening. Haru let out a gasp, and then slapped my arm once again in the speed of light. The pain was enough to make me scream, attracting the attention of my classmates. "What in the actual f*ck, dude?!" I groaned, rubbing the spot where Haru hit me. "What was that for?"

"I. AM. NOT. GAY. UNDERSTAND?" He stressed every single word, and I shrugged. I guess getting lovey-dovey with a guy (gay) classmate isn't considered gay.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever floats your boat," I complied. Satisfied with my answer, he went back to chatting with the others. Rolling my eyes playfully, I got my notebook and started listing down the things I missed. Quizzes in Math (RIP (╥_╥)), Science and History... Homework in Science... Research...

It took a while before I let go of the pen, gazing at the open door of the classroom as our teacher for History walked in. I shut my notebook and yawned, stretching.

"Good afternoon, class."

I looked over at Hadzuki who's patiently listening, her eyes reading the book. I tried to focus as well, but trust me, no matter how hard I try, I can't get myself to listen to the teacher's lessons. I squirmed in my seat to be comfortable, but even that failed me. Nothing could beat this level of boredom that I'm feeling right now. I badly want to do something, like writing a story or doodling, yet I can't even bring my hand to make single line with a pen. I mean, it's just a pen, but I feel like I'm carrying the whole world. Maybe, I can't even carry myself. I'm so pathetic. So not worth of someone else's attention and of course, love.

Well, this is definitely bad, I thought as I glanced at the not-so-focused classmates of mine. My gaze switched to the teacher doing his lesson, but my ears felt like they've been stuffed with cotton or something. I can see his mouth moving, but I can't seem to hear him, thus my brain can't process anything that he's saying. What's wrong with me? I know there's a lot of answers to that, one of them being 'everything', but I know myself that this is a different kind of weird. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, slapping myself as hard as I can. I looked up and.. no one noticed anything.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

I groaned, running a hand through my face. My gut is telling me that I should leave, and that's what I did. I raised my hand timidly, saying "Can I please go to the restroom?" when the teacher looked at me. He stayed silent as if reading me, until he finally nodded, turning to the whiteboard. I hastily stood up and went out of the classroom, sprinting to the girl's restroom.

I burst open the door and slammed it shut. I marched towards the sink, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I'm horrible. My dark bags are unfortunately very easy to spot because of my pale skin. My eyes are drooping, my hair disheveled as if I don't know what it means to comb. Frowning, I turned on the faucet, splashing my face with water.

Besides my appearance, I have a lot of things to worry about. My grades, other people's impression, my family... It seems like I left nothing for myself, but what I'm really afraid of is failure. I hate being a disappointment, yet I always end up being one. I tried to shrug it off and laugh when in front of others but damn, I guess lying to myself won't last long.

My dull eyes stared right back at me, so I turned away and slid down the wall. I irritably pulled at my hair and groaned. Why am I like this? I have no reason to feel like absolute sh*t. I have a wonderful life. I have great friends and a great family. Hell, there's a lot of people suffering way more than me, yet here I am, being weak and just, awful.

A dry laugh escaped my lips, but I immediately stopped. My eyesight became blurred, and before I knew it, I felt something wet rolling down my cheeks. I tried forcing a smile as I wiped them, but the thought of the tears continuing on flowing made me give up and cry more.

I broke down into sobs as I felt my heart racing, my mind being clouded with negative thoughts.

You're useless.

Why are you even born?

Just go die already.

No one loves you.

With each and every thought, I screamed at myself to ignore it. After all, it's just a thought. But the more I tried to convince myself, the more I fell into the dark pits of my own mind. It's in an endless loop.  Unbreakable chains that keep me from rising, bringing me to the ground. There are no windows, doors, anything that I could escape from. It's just an empty void where I would agonize about every little imperfect detail. No one will come to save me, no one can.

It's like being pushed off a plank while having heavy rocks tied to you and left to drown at the sea with enormous waves. Whenever I try to breath, a wave would crash down on me, not even letting me do that. But whenever I think of asking for help, I would shake my head. It's much better to suffer alone than bother people, they have problems of their own. I don't want to be a burden, more than I am now.

I just don't understand. Why? I shouldn't feel like this. Is it wrong to feel like I'm alone in this world even if I'm not?

....

Of course, it is. Stupid. But, I just want to feel.. loved..

Stop seeking for people's attention.

They don't give a damn about you.

I know, they don't. If I told people what I've been through, they'll probably just laugh and say 'Just get over it already.'

If you want to die so badly, then just do it!

Maybe. But for someone who's a coward, I can't. I can't bring a knife close to my heart, I can't wrap a noose around my neck. My family and friend's faces would always flash in my mind. They might not love me, but I do. They're my world. They're my everything. The thought of abandoning them would always leave me breathless.

I.

Can't.

Take.

It.

Why are you hesitating? Don't you want this?

I do. I want to end this once and for all, but I don't want to leave them here. Not when I know how this world is so unfair and cruel.

Then, what are you doing?

The only answer I could think of is torture. I'm torturing myself. Maybe I've become addicted to pain, maybe I like being in pain because it makes me feel alive.

A simple cut won't do it.

My hands tugged at my silver locks harder. My heart is pounding at my chest, my lungs aching as I tried to reorganize my thoughts. But, as expected, I lost the battle, again.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"

I closed my eyes shut, the throbbing of my head becoming unbearable. I shook my head hoping to get rid of the pain, but it only made it worse. Having lost the motivation, I slowly let go of my hair and buried my face into my knees.

Distant sounds of footsteps reached my ears, but I didn't think much of it until the door threw open, making me look up.

"Kazumi!!"

I blinked once, twice, trying to comprehend my current situation. The hazy image of someone then became clear as crystal, and I managed to choke out the person's name.

"Had..zuki?"

=====
Hadzuki to the rescue! She definitely deserves a vote for being right on time!

Alright. Things aren't working well, with school stuff and all the likes. I'm stressed af right now and OML, only till recently did I notice the date of my last update. Hope this can make up to you. If you're reading this, I just want to say thank you very much for supporting this story so far. The reads of this story hasn't move an inch and I admit, that made me sad and sh*t but meh. I have a chapter to write. Better focus on that, right?