A little reminder for my fellow anxious caterpillars...

      You don't have to be good with words.

     It's okay if you stumble on your words or stutter.

     It's okay if your mind seems to move faster than your mouth.

     It's okay if you don't think quick on your feet. You can take your time. Find the response you truly want. Words are better said late than left unsaid.

      You don't have to be witty.

     You don't have to be the first to speak.

     You can take two to three business days to respond.

     It's okay if it takes you a while to get your message across.

     It's okay if you use too little or too many words.

     Don't stress about the number of words and minutes between responses.

     The right people will understand you even when your words fail you.

     The right people will take the time to understand.

      They will be patient and ask questions.

     They will hear the words in your silence.

     They will appreciate your silence just as much as your never ending spiels.

      Don't be so hard on yourself if communication doesn't come easily.

      Your criticism will do nothing to create a nurturing environment for improvement.

      I criticized myself for a long time. I criticized myself for my short and dull responses. I criticized myself for thinking of an adequate response only minutes after the conversation ended. I criticized myself for my seemingly lacking social skills.

      Nothing about the criticism was constructive. I spent so much time criticizing myself that I was lost in my own sorrows and missed most of the conversations I did try to initiate. It was a never ending cycle. I only started feeling worse about myself.

      It was a never ending cycle, until I embraced my awkwardness. I thought: maybe I am a wallflower. Maybe people think I'm strange of stand-offish. But words hold no power unless you let them.

      I started embracing this side of myself. I learned to laugh when I lost my train of thought. I learned to become physically more expressive. I learned to keep going even when I stuttered. I learned to crack jokes about my stumbling. I learned to take actions that spoke a thousand words that I couldn't voice.

      And maybe I'm still not the best communicator, but I am improving. I'm starting to speak more freely just as much as I find peace in my silence.

      There doesn't have to be a perfect choice of words, so long as your message eventually gets across.

     You can spend your life trying to find the perfect words, only for them to feel forced. While I love to read and hear words that were beautifully strung together, I will myself to remember that not everyone understands Shakespeare.

      Use the words and form of communication that come most naturally to you.